{ Before I post this chapter, I just wanna mention Jonghyun really quick. After hearing about his passing, I was completely torn apart. I wasn't even a SHINee stan but it still hurt so much to know that he was gone and that he was struggling to the extent of taking his own life. If you don't know who Kim Jonghyun is, he was a brilliant Kpop artist with a vibrant personality and insane amounts of talent. He gave the lgbtq community a voice in such a conservative country like South Korea. He made music to soothe those struggling despite struggling himself. He was a really really good one and it saddens me to know we lost him. I went to his vigil in Minneapolis last night, like many have all around the world, and said my final goodbyes. My heart goes out to SHINee, Jonghyun's family, and Shawols and fans all around the world. You did well, Jonghyun. Rest in peace.}

    In Zoe's couple days being in this new school, she got to know and recognize Chuck Lakowski. She quickly learned that he was known and liked by pretty much everybody. He wasn't quite the class clown but he tried to be. His efforts at being one was really what made him funny. Chuck was on the lacrosse team and it was something he was proud to boast about whenever he got the chance. Zoe enjoyed him. He was interesting, amusing, and had a very charming smile.

It was Zoe's third day at school when she met him. Chuck was holding the door open and talking to his friends as they walked in. His attention was focused on them as he joked and playfully hit one of them. Zoe took her chance to sneak passed him, turning to shoot him a cheeky smile and a thank you. From that very moment, Chuck would declare love at first sight was real. He could easily describe every detail of that one moment and did to every one of his friends that he ran into that day.

Chuck vividly remembered the sound of her heels clicking against the pavement behind him, even though he wasn't paying attention to it at the time. He could paint a picture of what her curly blonde hair looked like bouncing and floating through the air as she skipped past him. When she looked back at him, her eyelashes seemed to flutter in slow motion as her big, bright eyes pierced into his. Her smile was what drove him absolutely mad. Head over heels, if he wanted to sound really cheesy.

Zoe's slightly pink tinted lips curled upwards and pushed her cheeks up along with them. Her cheeks were so round that, as they rose with her smile, they nearly pushed her eyes closed. Still, her eyes sparkled with a playful glint that he had never seen before. Chuck could still hear the way she said thank you. She didn't just say it. She said it with a giggle. He loved her voice. It was soft and delicate but peppy and sweet. Just like her hair and her outfit that hugged her petite figure. She was absolutely, captivatingly adorable.

From that moment on, Chuck ran into Zoe in the hallways at any chance he got. He walked her to class as he asked her thousands of questions. Where she was from, if she had siblings, why she moved here, if she had met any friends yet. He invited her to sit with him at lunch and that's how she found her group of friends. Zoe came to understand where she had been welcomed into first. She had seen it in movies. Chuck was on of the popular kids. He was friends with jocks and cheerleaders. But it wasn't like Zoe cared, she was just excited to be welcomed with open arms so quickly.

Although Chuck felt like he had successfully claimed Zoe into his group of friends, he noticed the gravitational pull Zoe had on her classmates. Everybody was captivated by her and her fancy clothes and naturally good looks. He made sure to always rush to her class when the bell rang so he could walk her to her next class. Many times, he showed up to his own classes late but he didn't mind. All he cared about was that Zoe didn't walk to class with another boy.

He wanted Zoe all to himself. He wanted to keep making her smile and laugh and be the only one to do that.

Zoe really enjoyed Chuck's company. She liked when he would make a joke, she'd play along, and then he'd get all flustered and blushy. He was one of the cool jocks but he still got really flustered around her. Zoe also enjoyed the people Chuck hung out with. His male friends were all very friendly towards her and offered for her to sit by them in class. Even his female friends were nice. They were all very pretty and spunky. Zoe tried her best to be just as likable as possible by smiling, laughing, and asking them questions about themselves. It seemed to easily work.

Everything was perfect for the first few days. She was never without a friend so it was easy to find where she was going in this new school. Some of them lived close to her house so they walked home with her, which is also how she found out Teddy lived down the same road as her. She didn't really dwell on it much but it was something she jotted down quickly in her head. Those same friends also walked to school with her in the mornings but she didn't see Teddy in the mornings. She figured he woke up at a different time than them.

Things were less perfect when Zoe texted her parents pictures of her with her new friends. She didn't want to send them too many and annoy them but also wanted to show them she was doing okay. She wanted them to be proud of her for making new friends in a new place she had never been too. They both said it was foolish of her to want to go to a public school in the middle of nowhere. They told her it was a waste of time. Zoe sent her parents those photos to show that she was enjoying herself so it wasn't a waste.

They never responded.

Zoe first just sent them photos of her and her new friends. Then she sent them a picture of her friends and herself in their cheerleader outfits after she went through the auditions and got accepted. They still didn't say anything.

"My parents never respond to me." Zoe blurted as she slumped in her seat, dropping her phone to lay on it's face on her desk.

McKenzie snorted a laugh as she exchanged sideways looks with her friends sat with Zoe. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"Did you ask to buy a Chanel bag?" Angie leaned closer with a cocky smirk. "Cause if they don't respond and then get mad that you bought it, that's your excuse right there. They can't be mad if they never said no."

Zoe frowned and sat up straight in her seat again. "No... I didn't ask for anything. I sent them pictures of us and told them I made the cheer squad. I haven't gotten any response yet."

"Well, where are they?" Mckenzie asked.

"I think they went to the Bahamas.." Zoe answered as she fidgeted with her phone in her hands.

McKenzie's laugh was a little less held back this time as she burst out in laughter. Zoe looked up and noticed the others were snickering as well. She carefully watched them and grew stiff and uncomfortable at their laughter. She didn't get why that was funny. She feared there next words, just as she had feared Teddy's the first time they met.

"The Bahamas?" McKenzie exclaimed as she slapped her hand down on Zoe's desk, her bracelets loudly jingling together as she did so. "If I was in the Bahamas, I wouldn't text my kids either!"

"Same! Omg! If I was in the Bahamas, it's just me and my hubby! I don't care if they've got a soccer game, an orchestra concert, cause baby, I'm in the Bahamas!" Angie joked, her voice loud and laughter obnoxious.

The others laughed so hard that they weren't making any noise, just clapping their hands and pointing at each other. Zoe was incredibly uncomfortable but didn't have anything to say. She didn't really get the joke. If she were in the Bahamas with her parents or her own family, she'd want to go snorkeling with them and explore with them by her side. It made Zoe wonder, was it common for people not to want to be with their family? Was she the only one that wanted that closeness? Maybe it wasn't just her rich friends that hated their parents.

"Seriously, Zo." Zoe turned to Angie as she tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. "If you ever go to the Bahamas, totally invite me. We'd have the best time in the Bahamas."

The other girls quickly piled on to that request, naming all the things they'd do and all the other amazing places they've always wanted to visit. Zoe was even more confused. She hadn't invited anyone to the Bahamas. She wasn't even there. Her parents were there. Without her. Ignoring her messages. They didn't care about that. They just went on about the clothes that the Kardashian's wore to the Bahamas and how expensive their vacations are. The conversation was endless and not at all about anything that Zoe cared about.

"Have you ever been?" Angie blurted mid-conversation, her question pointed at Zoe.

Zoe shifted uncomfortably, tucked a blonde strand behind her ear, and nodded. "Yeah. Once for Christmas when I was nine."

"Oh my god. Was it amazing?" McKenzie gaped, her blue eyes wide with curiosity and delight.

Zoe found it hard to force a smile as she simply nodded. She felt a weight in her chest as she recalled that Christmas.

Both her mother and father were out all day, warning Zoe not to leave the hotel and only swim when Kenneth returned. She sat in the hotel room for two hours, sat in the lobby and watched people walk in and walk out for three, and then swam for two hours when Kenneth returned to the hotel. Her allowed swim time was only two hours because then the sun went down and children were no longer allowed to swim so she had to return to her room. It wasn't like it was all that fun anyways. There were no other kids at the pool to play with.

When she made it to the hotel room again with Kenneth, her parents were changing into fancy clothes to go out clubbing. She begged to go with them but they completely ignored her. She was so lonely all day and then when her parents finally came back, they were getting ready to leave again. Zoe was stuck in the hotel room by herself that night as her parents and Kenneth were both out enjoying their Christmas Eve. All she could do was watch cartoons in an empty, lonely hotel room all night. She hated it.

Zoe fell asleep crying that Christmas night and in the morning, she ordered room service by herself. The only good thing about that memory was when there were on their way back home from the trip. Her parents had forgotten about her, being hungover and whatnot, so they took a private jet home. Kenneth hadn't forgot about her, though, so he took her home in a different private jet. He was also hungover. Zoe remembered him grumbling to himself, sat in the seat across from her on the plane, as he dug through a bag.

Kenneth tossed Zoe a little velvet box and when she opened it, she spotted earrings made of tiny diamonds that were clustered together into the shape of flowers. "Merry Christmas, Zoe. Those are from your parents." Kenneth groaned, tossing two painkillers in his mouth and downing his scotch drink.

The gift from her parents wasn't the good memory, since she knew Kenneth had bought them a week beforehand because he knew her parents didn't buy anything. She remembered asking him what he was online shopping for one day and he absentmindedly answered with these exact earnings. He probably didn't even remember spoiling the surprise. The earrings themselves weren't the good memory either, since she didn't care for diamonds or jewelry. The good memory was when they made it home and she saw her hungover parents again.

Her father slapped his hand down on her head and muttered, "Merry Christmas." He knelt down to her height, his eyelids heavy and skin sickly pale. "Remember, kid," hiccup "Tequila is not your friend."

Zoe giggled as she watched her father stand again and walk off. She patted her hair down since her fathers large hand had messed it up. Then, her mother approached.

Placing a hand under chin, her mother tilted her head up and studied Zoe's youthful glow. "Was your Christmas Eve fun?"

"Yes." Zoe smiled. She was lying. She didn't want to disappoint or upset her mother by letting her know how lonely she was or the fact that she cried all night.

"Good. Enjoy your Christmas here, Zoe. I have to get on a plane to Japan and your father is going to Dubai." He mother said as she started through the house.

"Is Kenneth staying here?"

"No. He is going with your father."

"Then I'll be alone?" Zoe looked around their huge house, already feeling incredibly small and anxious. Being in a huge empty house by herself was almost worse for her anxiety then if she was trapped in a small, confined space that would make her feel claustrophobic.

Zoe's mother stopped. "Oh, that's right. You're only nine." She took a moment to think before she suddenly continued walking off as she spoke. "I'll call a nanny or something."

Zoe frowned as she was left in the big living room of their house all by herself. She already felt alone. She already sad. But then she remembered what her father had said to her moment ago and she couldn't help but giggle. Remember kid, Tequila is not your friend. He was really funny. He had the same low tone in his voice as Santa, except more drunk. And Zoe liked that he had patted her head. She felt loved just by that simple gesture. Even her mother asked about her Christmas. That showed she cared, even if it was just little.

That was enough for Zoe to be satisfied. She was happy.

But now, years later, it was a little less joyful to think about. Zoe only had a handful of those semi-good memories of her parents and the rest were horrible and incredibly lonely. She felt bad. She wanted to rave about those earrings and how amazing the hotel was but she couldn't. It wasn't what she wanted and that made her feel selfish and ungrateful. She just wanted to enjoy Christmas with her parents but it seemed that was a dumb dream to those around her. She should've just been happy with those earrings.

Teddy watched from a couple desks away with her eyebrows furrowed and a deep frown on his face. Those girls were ridiculous. Zoe was verbally upset about her parents neglecting her and suddenly they were going on and on for twenty minutes about how amazing the Bahamas would be. Did they not notice Zoe had completely shut down? She was in her own word, wallowing in some kind of sadness while the others laughed and joked about luxury vacation spots.

That same day, Zoe was in the back of the library again. Teddy could hear her sniffle every once in awhile but he didn't think she was crying. He didn't bother to pay attention to her since he had to study. Zoe slipped past him when it was almost time for their next class to start. He watched her walk off and checked the time before gathering his things. By the end of the day, he noticed her smiling and laughing with Chuck by his locker as if she had never been upset in her entire life. He was impressed by her acting skills but unamused that she wouldn't say anything to her supposed new friends.

What's the point of having friends if you can't share your troubles with them? He figured it didn't matter to Zoe. She was just lonely.