Req 3: uni_Connie

Here you go, this one took me a lot of research haha, hope you enjoy~

Oh and it's an AU btw

Edit: Forgot to mention this, but I made this story for another project with different characters. As you can see, my lazy ass just changed the characters, pronouns and a few aspect of the stories. Even so, this is still 100% original from my own head and research, happy reading. (June 2nd, 2020)

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   Pitiful...the disease looked so pitiful. And yet, the only thing he can do right now is laugh at how ironic it was. He was pitying himself. While standing there, the wind picking up.
   He hates it. Hate..such a strong word. It means that you will never be able to like, nor love anymore. The way the wind will blow against his hair, flowing in between each strand, and taking the voice that he hates, yet love very much, closer to his ears.
   He can't ignore it, it was as if he was enchanted. That's right, he was under a spell. A spell that will soon grab his life under its hand and took it from him. Gulping down his fear, he could only turn around a bit, but it was enough to took his breath.
   The raven he's familiar with looked so dazzling, like the moon shining in the background. He was so stunning. His soft, yet deep voice continued calling after him. He could only smile and tried to strike a conversation, like what he always did.
   While at it, he could only hold back the cough that was threatening to racked out of his throat. During their light conversation, he could see a look of concern from him. It amused him greatly, to be able to see it from the raven for the first and probably last time. Finally, the raven was gone from his sight. And yet, his slight scent that was picked up by the wind, stayed. Along with the beautiful display in front of him. The flower garden.
   He, too, has one of that. He had grew it a month ago. Now it's blooming beautifully, yet so dangerously. If only he could stop it. If only he could just kill his own garden. Yet, he couldn't -wouldn't- kill his feelings for the raven.

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A month ago
   It was such a lovely day, yet he couldn't find peace in his mind. His throat has been itchy and his heart has gone down rated. It was as if, the world had a grudge against him. He couldn't get his head on what was happening to his body. It was uncommon.
   A slight cough here and there was all it was at first. But the urge to scratch his own throat had increased. Especially, when that person spoke up. It was as if he got thrown into a field of thorn yet, his mind was filled with euphoria.
   Everytime, they will talk, random topics at times. Sometimes it was just a sheer boredom, or just a coincidence. They will always have something to talk about. Yet, the more to it, his throat got so itchy he couldn't help to cough once or twice. He could see slight concern on the raven's usual stoic face -even though it's a bit painful, it was still a sight to behold- and he would just told him about how he has taken care of it.
   It has became his daily habit, to make a warm tea filled with honey. It relieved his throat a bit. Yet, it didn't seem to be enough sometimes.

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   It has gone worse. Constant clogging in his throat felt more and more annoying. It distract him from work, from his schedule, from the raven. Then one day, there it was. A small pink petal. It rested on his palm, as if it was where it belong. He had his suspicion, but he didn't think it was true.
   In a rush, he ran to the guild's library. He frantically search a book, it was suppose to be there. It has to be. And there it is, All Kind of Disease. A simple title, makes it easy to find -well, supposed to- and without thinking hard about it, the book was opened and the pages were flipped.
   He stopped right there, near the middle of the book with 'H' bookmark on it. Hanahaki Disease. A disease of unrequited love. He could see it, the symptoms are all the same as his, and that flower petal. He knew what it was.
   Pink camellia, in flower language it means...longing. A few months ago he had learned about flower language, he didn't think it'll be useful at times like this. He could only laughed bitterly and a lonely tear fell down.

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   The disease is a fast one, yet it seems like it will take some time for him. It really did felt like being hated by mother nature. The petal increased and so did their conversation. He wished he could stop, or just push the raven away. For his own sake and yet, whenever he is there, he could never turn around and run away. It was as if he had been struck by a magic spell. Cheerfully he would talk, while holding back the petals that were threatening to go out.
   When all torture was done, running felt like a must, or else things would go from bad to worse. Falling down on the floor and frantically closing, locking the door. Coughs racked through his body without any mercy, it hurts. Those petal got thrown out from his throat, he could feel his lungs got filled by vines and flowers, it would be just a time bomb now. He could only do a count down.
   Finally calming down, cleaning is the hardest part. Thank the stars the floor is not carpet. While at it, a few petals looked distinct. They are red, strikingly so. It was out of place from the soft pink from the petals before. With shaking hands, one of the red petal got caught in between long fingers. The owner of the fingers could recognize it, it was red carnation. Deep love. Laughing doesn't have a hint of taste anymore, he had fell in too deep.

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   Days went by and the disease was getting worse. On good days, the flower will be only a few, yet on the other hand, the flower will be more and more than usual. This day, is the latter.
   The wind has been picking up a lot lately and his sharp ears are not the best in this kind of situation. The gentle voice he was familiar with got dragged towards him. If it's like this, he'll bump into him. The only logical thing to do is running away and yet, his feet kept walking forward.
   A single word almost got out from his mouth before his body froze. It feels as of the temperature went down drastically. It was as if the air dissapeared, he had difficulties in breathing. His lungs contricted painfully and the flowers attempted to force their way out.
   There, the person he adores -love, but he knows better not to say- smiling so softly, the warmth and gentleness in his eyes and gesture, towards a blond girl he had known for as long as he can remember. His mind goes blank, as if static filled his mind.
   He was gagging. As if air slowly leaving his body, he panted and gasped for air. It was hyperventilation syndrome. While at it, not wanting to be beaten by hyperventilation, he could feel flower clogging up his throat. Choking him further. He swore he can hear choking noises from his mouth.
   Then a view he had never wanted to see, clearly visible to his eyes. The raven and the blonde, kissed. As if the earth shook, he had a hard time to stand up. He have to run away from there, or else he'll be caught. With hard effort, his shaking legs managed to support him.
   His eyes widened when his ears picked up that voice he knew by heart. It choked him further as flowers petals tried to force their way out of him. His legs almost betrayed him as he stumbled while trying to run. Finally able to run away, his mind got cleared up for a second. Both his jewels grew hot, luke warm water streaming down like waterfall. Trying to choose road back with less people as possible. Trying not to meet anyone.
   It felt like centuries before his legs finally giving up, colapsing on top of the cold tile of his room. Door closed and locked. Relieved, yet painfully so, flowers rushing out of his throat. Like a waterfall, it's falling out a lot. His mind had been alarmed and now it's even worse, he could smell, taste, see...blood. It seems like it has gone for the worst.
   Among the pink and red petals he had been accustomed to, a small group of yellow petals are there, smeared in dark red of blood. Lying there innocently as if it has no sin. Yet that was true, that flower only serve as a remembrance of his feelings. A daffodil, unrequited love.
   He had realized it ever since the beginning and yet, he's still desperately holding onto that sliver thread of hope. And now it has slipped away from him. Unfortunately, he could feel himself still chasing after that thread which had flew away.

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   He had locked himself in. It has been a few days since he meet anyone, only coming out at night to snuck in some food. Thankfully the tap water's good so he won't dihydrate even if he locked himself in without any food.
   Since it has been going like this, the flower coming out from his mouth had been less than usual, which was good. Yet he didn't have the energy to clean it up. He could only stare in disgust towards the field of flower -some are full bloom flower, yet most are petals- he had created. It was like a garden of his own -except instead of soil, it's lying on top of small and large pool of blood-.
   Apparently, locking himself in was both good and bad choices. Good news, he won't have to see the raven every step he took or letting the wind picking up that calm, hushed voice of his.
   Bad news, his mind seems like torturing him -apparently, it was already in his blood to get the worst of luck- he couldn't stop thinking about the raven. While flying through his imagination of the raven, there will be times when he got thrown back to earth in harsh realization. The raven doesn't love him and never will, he has a girlfriend and he was only a friend. It chokes him up even worse.
   It was his 8th day of locking in, he found two new flowers growing inside and blooming out of him. They were yelow tulip and morning glory. He had never search up the meaning though, he just realized one thing. His love for him was hopeless, he's loving in vain. It might've been the meaning of those flowers. For once of his life, had he ever think he's so damn useless.

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   Some of his friends forced him to come out, to come and work as usual as they are concerned that he had locked himself in for more than a week. He couldn't refuse them. No matter how bad his disease had became, he must do what he must do -and he didn't have the heart to make his friends worried-. His energy got drained by the stupid disease and it hurts, yet he tried to keep up with everyone. Trying not to get in the way, trying not to give away his sickness, trying to get as far as he could....from him.
   It has been several days since he accidently saw him, heard him and got heart broken once again. He tried to avoid him at any cost, except if it's an absolute necessary. Even if he did, he tried to keep any conversation as minimum as possible, trying to hold his heart back from drumming crazily whenever a soft wind blew by them, taking that scent he was so familiar with...trying not to cry.
   Hanahaki is a fast acting disease, once it attacked, it's either to get loved...or surgery. For him, both are impossible, utterly ridicilous. He'd rather die than having his feelings erased for good. He's selfish, he knew. Yet, as long as the other is happy, even without him. It's enough.
   That night flowers of scarlet geranium fell out, along with blood and the feeling of emptiness. His blank red eyes could only stare the bloodied floor of his room, where flowers, petals and blood made a mess, like a flower garden bathed in red. This is his private flower garden, his garden of love and heartbreak. He couldn't help but feeling melancholic.

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   He had decided, it took a long time, but he decided that he will confront him. He had a feeling that this will be the last time he'll be able to talk to him. With a small smile, one that was holding pain, he walked out. Searching for the raven is one thing, but searching for the person he yearns for while holding the pain from his scratchy throat is another thing.
   The guild's flower garden is his best bet. He remembered how they used to talk near the flower garden, when things weren't the worst for him. He could only wait and stared towards the flower garden with a small smile. This will end. His suffering will end. Everyone will be sad, he's sure of it -or will they actually be happy about it? He doesn't know- but, as long as he makes it as natural as possible, the raven won't blame himself. He won't let the raven know. And this will be, his last selfish wish.

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   Feeling the breeze one last time, he smiled bitterly. How painful his time was, he could remember it and that what brought him here, to the guild's flower garden. To talked to the raven, it was enough for him. He was able to hear, to see him one last time. He sighed, tears pricked his eyes again. Such a cry baby, crying from the way the raven's scent still faintly lingering in the air, reminiscent of his small yet deadly disease. Staring at the moon, he could only pray for his friends, guild mates and him.

   "I wish you all happiness...forever...and ever"

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   Everyone cried, no one wanted to believe but the evident was clear. They could only stare at the body of their dear friend, lying in his bedroom, on the flower garden he created. Sadness was evident in their eyes, along with pity for someone he hold dear, the someone who was regretting his own denseness. How the person who was dear in his heart had lost his life, all because of him. How he couldn't stop him.

   "I'm sorry, Mafu...I'm so sorry"

   "It's okay, I forgive you, Soraru-san"

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Yup, my job here is done