dear diary,

I don't have anywhere else to vent really

I was texting Karima in peace and its pretty late to she says "I think I'm gonna sleep, unless you want to talk to me more" and yes, I know that most of the time when people say this they wanna hear "yes, I do want to talk to you"

HOWEVER

I, apparently, am not like other girls. I said smt like "I wanna talk but ur health is more important so goodnight ily"

she said "but if I said that to you It wouldn't be true" I had one of my online friends translate this for me and they said "she means that you wouldn't believe her if she said that she wanted to talk to you"

which made me feel like shit

I just don't fucking know how to speak to her

I wish I did cause I really really love her, but it's just hard. I ended up googling how to be a good person, then how to be everyone's favourite person, then how to be loved, and then how to not be annoying. this, however, did not work at all and I hate myself now

why can't I do shit right?

I think that at this point nearly everyone hates me

I'm gonna cry but I also don't really care

I'll drown myself in self pity

(00:07)

got me bread to help myself with my self pity, I will be reading my favourite fanfiction now

it is called 'idk what to name this yet' by me

it, as you can see if you look at the title, isn't finished yet

(00:14)

I have awoken and I have a shit ton of tests next week so I'm gonna try to be productive ig

but yesterday I had a math test and I think I nailed it. I have to bc J need to get my grade up lmao

(11:30)

I need to pee but I'm too scared to ask HEJAAH

I'm at my cousins birthday btw

what do I say?

HELP

(22:43)

I have decided not to go and hope we'll go home soon

(22:58)

I'm bored, I texted Karima but she hasn't respond yet. maybe she's on her way home, she was at her uncles.

OHHH MY GRANSMA HAS SUCH A CUTE JACKET

anyways, I still have to pee and I had a conversation with Karima earlier this night

I love her 😈

she's in my contacts as "Mon amour<3" now, I hope she doesn't know what it means but she's not stupid

(23:10)