08:

SOPHIE HURTS

All Sophie Carmella could do was stare at nothing, making her mind blank so that she wouldn't have to think about all that had happened.

She lost her father.

She lost her mother in a way, too.

And now she lost Andrew.

It wasn't that Andrew and her were over. It wasn't that either of them didn't want to return back to each other. They had arguments that date back to the minute their relationship started but none were as serious as this argument, none were as hurtful at this argument.

Couldn't Andrew understand that it was too painful to talk about how she was truly feeling? That she was afraid that if she let out those emotions she kept locked up for the past weeks, she'd completely break down and won't be able to get back up on her feet no matter what? The emotions... They all weighed down on her. They were so heavy. Couldn't he understand that?

Couldn't Sophie understand that Andrew was only looking out for her? Couldn't she understand that she needed to talk to somebody about what she was feeling otherwise that pent up emotion would lead to horrible things? Couldn't she understand that it was hurting him to see his Sophie like this? Couldn't she just understand that?

But both Andrew and Sophie were too stubborn and they had flung violent, heart aching words at each other. They may have not said much during their argument but the lack of words in that argument spoke volumes.

Sophie sighed and got up from her bed, not feeling and not being. She was just numb. She reached her table and flopped ungracefully onto her chair before she reached out to her pocket knife kit and flicked it open, the glint across the blunt blade catching her attention and making her transfixed onto the object.

If she were to slice that blade across her arm, would that take the pain away? Would causing her body harm stop her feeling all the emotional pain? Would all of these emotions just go away?

Sophie dropped the pocket knife like it burned her. She shouldn't be thinking these things. She shouldn't be thinking like this at all. What would Andrew say if he were to know what just roamed around in her mind?

Nothing, Sophie bitterly thought because currently they weren't on speaking terms.

She just wanted to run to Andrew's house this instant and climb up to his room and cuddle with him and kiss him and talk to him because Andrew Smith was Andrew Smith and he always made Sophie feel better, he always made her feel whole.

And right now Sophie felt the exact opposite. Broken and unwhole.

She shook and she heard a sob. It took a while for her to register that she was the one that emitted the sob. It was only after she tasted the salt in her mouth and felt the tears roll down her face did she realise that she was crying.

So that's what Sophie did. She returned back to her bed, flung the sheets over her body and curled into a ball. And then she cried.

That night Sophie truly hurt and Andrew wasn't there to make her feel better.