Begins from Chapter 33 of Lie.
Grab your tissues. In case ya need a good cry, because author-nim is feeling super angsty :|
If you have a VERY weak heart, this may not be the chapter for you

Yoongi wiped his tears as he looked at the ID, it was Hoseok's mother. With a deep shaky breath he answered the phone.

Having no idea what news he'd be getting on the other line.

He raised the phone to his ear, his heart ripping in two when he heard Hayoon's relentless sobs, "Hayoon?" he inquired, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from shaking, "is he okay?" he asked, hoping the answer would be a joyful yes.

Alas, it wasn't.

Another ear splitting cry rang from Hayoon and the next thing Yoongi knew, his mother was speaking to him and giving him the news Yoongi never wanted to hear, "Yoongi..." she began, her voice trailing off before she continued, "we lost him, they couldn't save him from how much blood-"

He didn't hear the rest.

The phone fell from Yoongi's hand, his eyes tearing up as his breath completely left his body. And when he began breathing again, it was labored and he doubled over in pain from the news. Loud sobs were leaving his lips, his eyes shut as he screamed and cried for Hoseok, because he couldn't accept the fact his sun, his happiness, was gone.

He's felt this kind of pain once, but this time it came back to really tear him apart.

Memories of he and Hoseok crashed into his mind like waves, harsh tides that wanted to whisk him away. Yoongi didn't care about his clothes getting dirty from the wet grass, or the unconscious Hui mere meters away from him, or Taehyung and Jimin asking him what was wrong over and over again, all he cared about was the fact Hoseok was really dead.

"HOSEOK!" he screamed into the air, Taehyung and Jimin tearing up. They had just finished speaking with Songhee, she explained to them everything. "Please come back, i'm sorry-i-i'm so sorry!" he ranted, tears running down his cheeks in heaps. They had no intention to stop. "I l-love you! I love you so much and i'm sorry I couldn't say it then. Hoseok please, please, don't leave me!"

Taehyung had to look away, he couldn't bare to watch one of his best friends break in front of him.

While Jimin crouched down in the grass, and held Yoongi tightly in his arms despite how much the elder hated it. He didn't want to come to terms with the fact Hoseok is really dead. None of them cared that Yoongi was practically screaming in the middle of a park, they were in pain.

Yoongi pushed Jimin off of him and punched the grass aggressively, screaming over and over again, 'Why him?' 'He didn't deserve this!' 'I want him back!'. Jimin tried to stop him but he couldn't, Yoongi would rather feel physical pain then the emotional turmoil that was trying to eat him alive.

"He's gone," Yoongi breathed out, no cut appearing on his body. But that only made him begin sobbing all over again, "Hoseok's gone..."

Yoongi couldn't fight the emotional pain that over took him, his body falling unconscious on the wet grass.

<><><>

Instead of partying with the rest of his class, all of them celebrating their graduation, Yoongi found himself at the funeral of the love of his life. Sobbing people all around him.

Hayoon, Jay, Dawon, and the twins, were all crying as the priest said his words. SeokJin's boyfriend, Kan, was hugging him tightly to his side as Jin sobbed on his shoulder. Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung were standing beside Yoongi, all holding in their tears. NamJoon was with Soyeon and Jeongyeon, all three of them taking deep breaths to keep themselves from sobbing like everyone else.

Yoongi honestly felt numb, when he woke up from passing out, he couldn't feel anything. He didn't feel sad, angry, or any other emotion you're supposed to feel when a close one dies. He felt emotionless. It's been a couple weeks and he still doesn't feel anything.

"Yoongi," Songhee whispers from beside her son, her heart aching for him, "come with me." she beckons him, and Yoongi allows himself to be dragged away.

They walk up to the casket where Hoseok's body lays. Yoongi just stares at it, stares hard. This wasn't his Hoseok, this was a chemically filled thing that they're throwing 6 feet underground. "It's not him," Yoongi whispered, and his mother didn't say anything. He was the same way when GeumJae passed.

Yoongi's hands moved to the necklace Hoseok gifted him, the words Hoseok told him ringing through his head, "..I have yours, so I will always be with you when you wear it." He could hear the younger man's voice, the voice he already misses.

Yoongi fell to his knees before he could even stop himself, his tears finally breaking through and coming down faster than he could stop them. Songhee only crouched down with him, rubbing her son's back in a comforting manner as he cried.

"I need you," Yoongi cried, not caring for the people standing around him, "Hoseok, p-please, I need you, I love you, you're everything to me. I-i miss you!"

Namjoon broke down right along with him. He couldn't accept the fact his best friend was really gone. He'd never be able to hear Hoseok's voice again, never get to see his smile, never get to feel his hugs, never get to express to him how much he loves him. The ache in his throat hurt so bad he didn't know how he could even speak.

The pain that consumed them was so much that the only way to release it was by crying, sobbing, screaming, anything to get it to stop and relent for just a bit.

Hoseok was their happiness, he was the sun itself, and now their sun was gone and they have no clue how they'll cope with that fact.

The pain of grief is something not even the best doctors can heal.

<><> 5 years Later <><>

"Recently a recent 14 year old girl, Minatozaki Sana, commits suicide at Blossom Foster home. After the loss of her aunt..."

Yoongi tuned out the news as he adjusted the necklace resting on his neck, his dark eyes staring at himself in the mirror. He saw a man he still hasn't grown to recognize, someone who cries themselves to sleep most nights, who hasn't felt a true sense of happiness in years.

He ended up still pursuing a career in music, his mother and Hayoon taking a big part in that. After Hoseok's death, he didn't want to do anything with his life, hell, he wanted to follow Hoseok into the after life. Though, the good people in his life didn't let him do that.

Yoongi lived, he only lived because he knows Hoseok would have wanted him to keep going, to live without him.

He doesn't think Hoseok knows how hard that truth is.

"I'm okay," Yoongi says to himself, feeling the sharp feeling of a cut burn on his arm, "I will be okay," the cut went away, Yoongi did this everyday to remind himself things would turn up soon.

Today though, was just another day of grief for him, since this very day he'd be visiting the grave of his past love. The love of his life. His soulmate.

Jimin and Taehyung recently got married, the two happy, and Yoongi was happy for them, of course he was, but he couldn't help but envy them just a little bit. The wedding was beautiful, Jimin and Taehyung looked beautiful together, and in that place Yoongi felt happy, even if it was just a small amount.

NamJoon proposed to Jungkook a couple weeks ago, Jungkook extremely happy. NamJoon accepted the fact Hoseok is gone, he accepted that he'll never get to see his best friend again, but he knows Hoseok will always be by his side one way or another. The main reason NamJoon found happiness was because of Jungkook.

SeokJin adopted a little boy 2 years ago with his husband, he named the young one after Hoseok. Yoongi's heart was touched by the act, he found the child adorable but didn't like the constant reminder of his love. Jin was happy too, he had Kan to help him grieve.

Yoongi didn't have the same luxury his friends did. As they all found their happiness again, they all got their happy endings, Yoongi spiraled into a depression he still hasn't completely gotten out of. It took him almost ten years to get over his brothers death, and now here he was trying to get over Hoseok's.

Hayoon smiled when she saw Yoongi outside of her door, her heart aching for the young man, "Hi, love."

"Hi, Hayoon," he greeted, giving her a small smile.

The twins didn't take Hoseok's death well, the two always in pain, always wishing for their brother to come back to them some way. They miss him just as much as Hayoon and Yoongi do.

"Shall we?" Hayoon gestured towards her car, the two would be visiting Hoseok's grave together.

Yoongi nodded. It was a drive that felt like ages, despite how short it was. When they arrived to the graveyard, Yoongi could hear his heart in his ears, drowning out the sound around him.

Jung Hoseok
1994-2019
An Angel Taken too Soon

Damn right he was.

Yoongi allowed Hayoon to go first, and once the woman was done, he walked up to the tombstone and took a seat by it.

"I wonder how you're doing up there all the time," he began, letting his fingers graze the rough stone, "a girl recently passed away due to suicide, I wonder if you were still alive would her outcome be different. It's a dumb thought but it came to me anyway." he took a short pause before sucking in a deep breath, "I miss you... I miss you so much, every single day. My boss sometimes worries about how upsetting and full of emotion my songs are, but it's what I feel. I've tried to move on, but I can't. Every night I wonder how life would have been if you were still here, I wish you were. You're my soulmate, Seokie," no cut appeared on Yoongi's body, this fact causing tears to prick his eyes.

Yoongi didn't let them fall though, he just took a couple deep breaths and resumed speaking.

"I love you, I love you so much, and I wish I could have said it more clearly before you passed. Not when you were lying on the ground dying. I'm going to try and be happy again, or at least content, I know you would have wanted that for me. I-i'm never going to forget you, ever, I don't think I ever could." Yoongi sighs, standing up from the ground and taking a breath, "I miss you, Hoseok, so much. I'm sorry I couldn't have saved you, I love you." with those final words said, Yoongi walks away, his shattered heart still feeling heavy in his chest.

An ethereal Hoseok watches him go, a sympathetic smile on his face, "I love, miss, and am sorry too, Yoonie. You'll find happiness again, I know it."

And that Yoongi did, even if it was difficult, even if he still spent long days grieving his love, he did find happiness again.

And his happiness only grew when he and Hoseok met again in the heavens, both with healthy smiles on their angelic features.

a/n
This was really sad, I KNOW. But it's what i'm feeling. I'm not depressed per say, but I am feeling very sad, and I pushed myself into writers block since I was trying to convey emotions besides what I feel. So, to relieve my emotions and give myself a good cry, I wrote this. It's very upsetting, and I had to take a bunch of breaks to keep myself together and wipe my tears, but if you did read this and are sobbing along with me, know crying is healthy and a good way to release emotion. Hopefully soon, i'll be back in full swing to write for my other works. Until then, I love you my sinners, this chapter doesn't have to do with the reality in truth and hoseok IS STILL ALIVE, in that book and here, this is just a b-side.