I opened my eyes to see a tiled ceiling with lots of specks. Weird. My room didn't have tiles. I sat up and realized I wasn't wearing my pajamas either. Instead, I was dressed in a big shirt and shorts.

  My brothers were sleeping together in the bunk bed across from me. I jumped off the bed and landed on the carpeted floor with a thud. My room didn't have brown carpet either; my carpet was a weird browny red.

  My legs stung from the impact, stinging against the big band-aids on my knees. These ones were brown and boring though. I tiptoed across the room and poked Chael in the cheek.

  "Where are we?" I asked as he groaned and opened his eyes.

  "The compound," he replied, sitting up. "Steven found us in the woods and took us here."

   Steven was Daddy's friend and my godfather (whatever that was). He saved us. Relief washed over me like a big bucket of water, but then a sad and scary feeling followed it. I sat on Chael's lap and wrapped my arms around him for a hug.

  He just sat there, with his arms dangling at his side and tears dripping down his face.

  Big brother was sad. Another wave of guilt washed over me, and I cried with him--Chael's being sad made me sad. 

  This felt weird, so very weird. The compound was Daddy's workplace, not a place to sleep. He took us here to the top floors for our doctor's checkups. It was the place they did all the funny tests. I didn't even know they had bedrooms.

  Outside the room, I heard voices talking, probably the same ones that woke me up.

  "So young. The kids are just five. The brother is what? Fourteen? Fifteen?" it said. The person sounded like a girl.

  "Can't believe this happened again. I'm going to wake them up." This one sounded like a boy, but more like Daddy than Chael. His voice was deeper.

  At that, I crawled over Chael and hid behind him. Ryder was snoring softly behind me with salt trails leading from his eyes. I peeked over my big brother's shoulder at the door.

  Chael had stopped crying and put on a strong face. The door creaked open, and I flinched. What if it was the bad people? Were they coming to get us?

  It was not the bad people, but a girl and a boy with nice faces.

  "Good morning," said Chael.

  "Good morning," replied the man who had just stepped inside. He was wearing the clothes Daddy wore when he went to work.

  "Why are you wearing my daddy's clothes?" I asked and peered over Chael's shoulder. "It's not yours."

  "Your father and I have the same clothes for work," said the man, kneeling in front of us. "I'm a friend of his. Alan."

  Neither of us answered him, but he continued talking anyway.

  "I'd like to talk about last night," he said.

  I thought about the booms and the crackles and Chael fighting all the bad people. It was cold and scary. I didn't like thinking about it. "Where's Mommy and Daddy?" I asked Chael. I pressed my cheek on Chael's shoulder and spoke into his ear. They would make me feel better.

  The man lost his smile, and Chael didn't answer me.

  "Should I wake Ryder for this?" asked Chael in a quiet voice. At first, I didn't think Mr. Alan heard Chael, but he nodded.

  "I'll be outside," he said and left.

  After we woke Ryder, we met Mr. Alan outside. A lady stood next to him, dressed like Alan and Daddy. Her eyes were super blue, just like me and my family, including Ryder. The lady didn't say anything but turned her eyes away when she saw us.

  "Follow us," said Mr. Alan. He led us to a big room with couches and toys.

  I let go of Chael's hand and plopped down on one of the couches. It was big and bouncy like the ones in our house. Chael sat down next to me, and I crawled onto his lap. Ryder climbed onto the sofa and sat next to us without saying anything.

  "Ryder, you sad?" I asked.

  He just ignored me. How mean.

  Mr. Alan sat across from us in a wooden chair with pink flowers on it. He leaned forward, balancing himself on his elbows. "Can you kids be brave?"

  "What's brave?" I asked and cocked my head to the side.

  Chael wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. "He means you have to listen without crying," said Chael softly.

  Ryder picked up one of the stuffed animals and covered his face with it.

  I turned back to Mr. Alan. He sat up with his back against the chair before continuing.

  "This is going to be hard to hear-" he paused again "-but last night your mommy and daddy died."

  Ryder started crying into the teddy bear. That was weird.

  "Why's that important?" I asked. I'd asked Mommy before, but no one would ever tell me why being dead was so important. They'd just say I'd learn when I was older.

  Chael leaned forward, placed his head on top of mine, and laughed.

  "Don't laugh at me," I said. He just laughed more before hugging me tighter then crying his eyeballs out. "Why's that important?" I asked again. 

  Chael sobbed into my hair. My brothers were crying, and it made me want to cry too. I climbed off of Chael's lap and poked his head. "Why's. That. Important?" I shouted, close to crying myself. My brothers were sad, and I didn't know why.

  Mr. Alan was the one who actually answered me. "It means you can't see your Mom and Dad anymore."

  "Why?"

   "They got really hurt in the fight," said Mr. Alan. "And when people get really hurt, sometimes they die, and they can't move around anymore."

  "They're gone," said Chael in between breaths. "They're gone . . ."

  "I can't see them anymore?" I asked. It started to make sense why my brothers were crying.

  Mr. Alan nodded.

  Tears spilled over my face, and I reached up to wipe them away. More just took their place. It wasn't fair. Mommy had to brush my hair today, and Daddy had to give me his goodbye kissies.

  I want Mommy.

  More tears.

  I want Daddy.

  The three of us cried together, but it was mostly Ryder and me who made all the noise. Chael's tears were silent.

  They had to come back. Mommy and Daddy were strong, and they never got hurt. Being dead shouldn't bother them. Ryder and I were the ones who needed band aids and the stinging stuff--not them. 

  I sat on the floor and banged the carpet. "I want Mommy!" My vision became blurry, and I couldn't see Chael anymore. "I want my mommy!" I wailed.

  Chael held me and rocked me back and forth while wet stuff fell in my hair. After forever, I stopped crying. I was too tired to squeeze the tears out anymore. Chael hugged me and Ryder close, whispering, "It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

  Ryder shut his eyes and shook his head. "This always happens," he mumbled then squeezed Chael tighter.

  I didn't know what he was talking about, but I moved my arms so I could hug him too. We all cried together, even though Mommy and Daddy didn't like it when we cried.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

  "Would you like some water?" asked the lady in front of me. The people in the compound had separated the three of us so that their doctors could do a check-up.

  I took the glass from her hand and drank small sips of the cold drink. It felt good on my sore throat. I placed the glass next to me on the doctor's metal table and watched her work.

  She took out a bunch of wires with little discs on them and placed the flat part on my skin. It was weird. The metal things stayed on me without falling off.

  "What're you doing?" I asked and reached down to mess with my floppy band aid.

  "I'm checking your electricity levels," she said then took the weird things off.

  "Why?" The band-aid fell off.

  She gave me a new one while she answered my question. "It's part of your checkup," she replied. The doctor did a bunch of more things with strange metal gadgets, like using a headphone-looking thing to listen to my heart. She wrote everything down on a piece of paper then turned around and smiled at me.

  Doctor Lady held up a shot-giver. "I'm going to give you a shot, okay?" She stuck the needle in my arm. I shut my eyes when she did it.

"What is it?" I asked while poking the place the needle pricked me. It didn't hurt too much.

The lady got more metal circles with wires and put them on me. "It's a shot to test the electricity in your body."

"Are Ryder and Chael gonna get it too?"

"They are," she said and clicked away on her computer screen. "How are you feeling?"

"The needle hurt," I replied, wishing Mr. Teddy Bear were here.

"I'm sorry to hear that," said the lady. She stood next to the metal table I sat on. "Does it hurt too much?"

"Does it hurt too much?" asked Mommy.

"No," I said and looked away from her. I played with the wires connected to me and kicked my legs in the air. She wasn't Mommy because Mommy was gone. With Daddy. When it was really cold and loud, and all the bad people in our house.

  Doctor Lady wrote a bunch for stuff on her clipboard, then said, "There. All done." Then we went to a waiting room with a bunch of couches and teddy bears and waited for my brothers. I had to press my new band-aid back on after it came loose from all the walking.

  I played with one of the teddy bears and named him Mr. Teddy Bear after the one I got for my birthday from Daddy. "Is my Daddy going to be back soon? He's gonna get better, right?" I asked the lady, still not convinced Mr. Alan had been telling the truth.

  "I'm afraid he isn't going to," she replied, brushing my hair back. It felt nice like Mommy was brushing my hair.

  I sniffled a little and hugged Mr. Teddy Bear, but I didn't cry. Daddy and Mommy didn't like it when I cried, so I wouldn't. "I miss him."

  The lady kept petting my hair.

"The bad people might come, and Mommy and Daddy left." I sucked on my lip. "Why aren't they coming back?"

"Because they can't," said the lady. "Did Mr. Alan tell you what happened?"

I nodded really fast. "He said they died, so they can't come back. That they can't move anymore." I rubbed away tears from my eyes. "Do you think they remember us?"

"Saorise, your mommy and daddy can't think anymore."

"Is that part of being died?"

"Yes."

"Is it like sleeping?" I asked.

"No," said the lady and hugged me. "When people sleep, they wake up, right?"

"Yeah."

The lady brushed back my hair and tapped on Mr. Teddy Bear's head. "That's because your brain does that for you. It wakes you up. Your parents' brains can't do that anymore."

"That's the thinking part, right? So is died not being able to think anymore? Or move?"

"Yes," she said.

"Will my brain stop working?" I sucked on my thumb.

The lady took my free hand in hers and looked me in the eyes. "No. Your mom and dad were fighting, and they got badly hurt. That's why theirs didn't wake them up. Yours will work, so you have nothing to worry about. You're a very special kid."

 "I miss them," I said and rubbed out more of the tears. "I didn't get to say bye-bye."

"Sometimes that happens. But you can remember them," said the lady.

I nodded. My eyes felt watery and hot, but I wasn't crying.

"You're very nice," I blurted out.

"Thank you," said the lady.

"Can I see you again?"

The lady smiled. "Of course. Very soon too, since I'll be doing the rest of your checkups before you leave."

I nodded like I listened to everything she said. "Can we go to my room?" I asked and slipped my hand into hers. "I wanna get Mr. Teddy Bear."

"Sure."

  Ryder and Chael came into the room a little later. The doctor lady talked to the guy that brought them here, and Chael sat with me and Mr. Teddy Bear. Ryder just sat on the couch and kicked his legs against it.

  "Do you remember Mr. Steven?" asked Chael.

  I twisted the fur on Mr. Teddy Bear's head in between my fingers for a little bit before telling him. "He's Daddy's friend, right?"

  "Yeah. We're gonna stay with him for a little bit," he replied and poked Mr. Teddy Bear. "He looks like your old one."

  I nodded my head and played by myself while Doctor Lady and the man kept talking. When they were done, the lady walked over to us with a soft smile on her face. "We're going to take you to dinner, okay?"

  "Okay," I replied and showed her Mr. Teddy Bear. "Can I take him?"

  "Sure," she said and led us out of the room.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

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