Warnings: mentions of death and watching someone die

Description: Chibs old lady loses her sister and he and their son are the only things keeping her together.

I opened my eyes at the sudden pressure in the chair with me. Chibs smiled at me as he kissed our son Noah's head and stepped away.

"I'm gonna shower babe," he said. I nodded and shifted so I holding Noah a little better. I wiped the nap from my eyes and noticed Happy sitting on the couch across from me. He just looked at me once and nodded. I didn't expect much more from him.

A few minutes later Chibs returned from the shower and took Noah from my arms. I frowned slightly as he carried the boy off.

"Why don't we head to bed lass?" Chibs said. I nodded and he took my hand, leading me to our room.

"How ya holding up?" He asked. I shrugged a little.

"I'm sorry lass," he said, kissing my head as he sat down on the bed with me. "Want me to hold ya for a while?"

I nodded and he laid us down, holding me as I drifted off to sleep.

I didn't sleep for long but I laid in Chibs arms listening to his heartbeat the whole night. About five in the morning, I couldn't lay in the bed any longer and I had to get up. I got in the shower and tried to shower quickly. I looked down at my hands and they were red with her blood again. I shrieked and jumped back, my back hitting the wall before I collapsed to the ground and let the water rain down on me.

"(Y/N)?" Chibs asked running into the bathroom.

"My hands," I said.

"We've cleaned them love," he said, grabbing my body wash and washing my hands and arms as he kneeled next to me.

He stood up and stripped out of his clothes before helping me to my feet and stepping into the shower with me.

"It's okay," he said as he washed my hair for me. Those two words were the only two he's used with me in the last few days that I ignore.

"She's gone," I said softly, the words barely more than a whisper.

"I know love. And I'm sorry you had to see that," he said. I nodded and we fell silent as he helped me finish in the shower.

We stepped out and I got dried off and dressed in some jeans and one of his shirts. He dressed as well before he grabbed my comb and brushed and braided my hair.

I smiled softly at him in the mirror.

"Your parents called. They're coming by today," he said. "Wanna make sure you're okay."

I nodded and he spun me to face him.

"I told Jax I'm staying home a few days and he understood," he said. I nodded and leaned into his chest, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you," I said. He kissed my head as Noah started screaming in the next room.

"I got him," he said.

"I can," I said. He nodded and I headed off to the nursery as Chibs went to the kitchen and started on breakfast.

Noah was the only light sometimes. Chibs was trying but my world was dark. My sister had been my light for as long as I could remember, without her, it was mostly dark.

I smiled at my son as I carried him to the kitchen to get him a bottle.

"Here," Chibs said, handing me a bottle. I started to feed Noah as Chibs made our breakfast.

We ate in silence. Even Noah was quiet.

"Thank you," I said as we finished.

"You're welcome," he said as he started on the dishes.

"I love you Chibs," I said.

"I love you too," he said. "If you want to talk about it." His voice trailed off as his eyes studied me.

"I watched her die and there was nothing I could do," I said, my eyes watering. "She bled out in my arms."

"You did everything right my love," Chibs said. "You stayed with her to make sure she knew she was loved."

"I couldn't save her though," I said.

"I know," he said. I knew he'd been through similar things with his brothers. He'd watched numerous brothers die.

I nodded and he pulled me into his arms, Noah becoming trapped in the hug in the process. Noah started to coo and I smiled at him softly.

A few hours later my parents stopped to see how I was doing and it was better. I was by no means feeling on top of the world, but I was doing better. Chibs had helped. He'd gotten me to talk and reassured me I'd done everything I could. My parents noticed that I was feeling a little better too and my dad pulled Chibs aside to thank him.

"The funeral is tomorrow at our church," Mom said.

"The MC would like to come. We all knew and cared for her," Chibs said.

"She'd want you all there," my mom said.

"Thank ya ma'am," Chibs said. He stood up, grabbing his prepaid from his pocket to call the guys.

"We'll see you tomorrow," my father said as he hugged me while Mom said goodbye to Noah.

I nodded and looked to Chibs who was on the phone he smiled at me as he finished the conversation.

That night, we were laying in bed, Noah on my chest as he slept.

"Filip," I said, earning his attention. I hadn't called him Filip since I'd told him I was pregnant. It was how he knew when I was being serious.

"Yes my love."

"Thank you," I said. "You've saved me."

"From?"

"Myself."

He leaned over and kissed me. "I'll save ya everyday lass."

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too," he said.