Chapter 5: The Secret to my Distress
Dr. Robotnik: Face it, compared to me, you are a know-nothing, an ignoramus, a half-wit... however... compared to the legions of primitive, sport-cheering-social media-scrolling knuckle-draggers that make up the human race, you are practically a genius.
On the night after the robbery takes place, a familiar person is using a night scope and a control pad as he keeps an eye for something special. That someone is Agent Stone, Dr. Robotnik's assistant.
Dr. Robotnik: If you are to survive in my absence, you will need more than my technology, you will need my philosophy, you must rebuild yourself as an instrument of pure science.
Soon, the drone arrives on the scene and opens the hatch. Out comes Robotnik's glove as it falls out and is now gliding down by a parachute.
Dr. Robotnik: Here I give you all the tools you'll need to play whimpering simps of America like a fiddle, only then can you rebuild my glory on a mass scale.
Then Stone grabs hold of the glove and attached to it is a small USB flash drive.
Dr. Robotnik: This is the contingency plan to end all contingency plans This is the foolproof methodology that will elevate you beyond the basic and into the Super Genius, for I Dr. Robotnik...
Upon returning home, Agent Stone begins to type on the computer and check out the USB flash drive he has received.
Dr. Robotnik: ... And this is my MANIFESTO!
Then Stone shows a smile on his face upon seeing the data of the flashdrive.
Dr. Robotnik: First you must ingratiate yourself into the chaotic human machine that is society. It's disgusting, I know, but necessary, no system has been rewritten from the outside.
In order to follow Dr. Robotnik's plan, Agent Stone decides to work at a coffee shop in Green Hills. There's a female manager, named Karen, and the assistant manager, George.
Stone hands Karen some papers, "Good day, ma'am. I see you have a need for a Barista, and I just so happen to have studied latte pouring at Milan's Istituto Del Cafe."
"You think that makes a different here, Mr. Big Shot?" Karen says with a disapproving expression and takes the paper.
She then crumbles the paper and says, "The pay is absolute minimum wage and not one cent more, and no benefits."
Dr. Robotnik: Humans believe themselves to be individuals, but they are every bit as programmable as the average toy monkey, it is vital to determine where these cogs have been placed in the program's hierarchy in order to properly use them. First, there are the would-be- wheeler-dealers, convinced of their own superiority despite their demonstrable lack of any actual skill.
"And as assistant manager, I get my cut of all tips," The assistant manager, George says.
"Think you can crack out cups o' joe during peak rush for that deal? Because that's the name of the game here - producing," Karen says.
George goes to the back and says, "You heard the lady. Let's run a tight ship today, ya bums!"
In the kitchen, there are two employees, a blonde-haired girl named Tina, and a black hair, brown-skinned man, Brayden.
Dr. Robotnik: Then there are the bootlickers. Too dumb to gun for leadership potential.
"I always do my best," Tina says, putting her blond hair in a ponytail.
Dr. Robotnik: The strivers. The two-faced to the core and endlessly sabotaging themselves.
"Whatever, brah," Brayden says, washing dishes.
Dr. Robotnik: And don't forget the commonplace drones, unable as cannon fodder, but the less said about them, the better.
Sometime later, Stone gives Karen a drink. Karen simply drinks it.
Stone says, "Please enjoy my speciality-made with steamed goat milk,
Dr. Robotnik: Never make the mistake of trying to ingratiate yourself to your lessers. The only solution for faculty programming is deletion and replacement.
However, Karen spits it out into Stone's face.
Karen drips the cup in disgust and it spills on the floor.
She says in disgust, "Ugh! That tasted like cottage cheese! What kind of freak would drink this? Clean this mess up, Big Shot!"
"Man, this is Karen's world. You're just living in it now," Brayden says.
However, Stonas walks away with coffee on his face and with a bitter look on his face.
Bayden then tries to cheer Stone up, "If it helps, you can listen to my podcast-122 episode about the deep social theme of 80's buddy action movies..."
However, Stone wipes the coffee off his face and says, "I have no time for the prattle of the masses. As for Karen, give me a week, and I'll control everyone and everything in this place. Then she will surely bow to my power."
"That's a really weird thing to say, dude," Brayden says.
Tina walks to Stone who is working on the coffee machines,
She calls out, "Hey, buddy! I know we just met, but could you cover a shift for me this weekend? I have a mega-important family function."
"What kind of coworker could deny such a request?" Stone replies.
However, Stone has other plans.
Sunday:
Tina, who says she is at an important family function, is actually at the beach, having a good time. She is laying on a chair as she gets some rays from the sun. She only says she has one so Stone will do the work for her.
She looks at her phone and says, "Life would be hard if it weren't for all the suckers in the world."
However, unknown to Tina, Stone is no sucker, and knows what Tina's intentions are. So he secretly has his robot-crab drones secretly follow her and they practically destroy her car, so she's unable to leave.
Monday:
The disappearance of Tina became known to the cafe, and no one is able to get a hold of her either.
"No idea where Tina went off to, but she's awol. As it is, you better not misplace one dollar from this register, Big Shot," Karen says, annoyed and hands him the keys.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Stone says.
Soon, Stone works at the register and seems to be going well.
However, George approaches him and says, "You're not foolin' anybody with that slick look, chump. Step out of line and I'll be ready to knock you down a few pegs."
"My only goal here is to serve the store... including a few upgrades," Stone says.
George gives Stone a suspicious look and simply walks away. However, Stone also has a plan to cook up for him.
Tuesday:
George then leaves his home to get to work. He suddenly hears a strange noise and looks up to see the Egg Drones flying down towards him.
"What the-" George asks, shocked.
But before he can react, the Egg Drone grabs George and begins to carry him away.
He screams, "AHHH!"
Wednesday:
At the coffee shop, it becomes known that employees are dropping. And because of it, Stone is made assistant manager of the coffee shop.
Karen then says to Stone, which also sounds like complaining, "Employees are dropping like flies. Why does no one want to work anymore? It's up to you to pick up the slack, and I don't want to see production slow down!"
Dr. Robotnik: As you reach the endgame, remember, mercy is for filthy animals, but strategy may require convenient alliances.
Brayden says to Stone, "Something spooky goin on in this town, man...
"Don't worry, I'm sure you haven't crossed the wrong people... yet," Stone answers.
Thursday:
Karen is at home having breakfast, and a police official arrives at her home. Before long, Karen is being arrested for...
"Money Laundering?! I run a freaking coffee shop!" Karen shouts as she is being taken by the police.
The officer says, "Save it for your lawyer, lady!"
And is being taken away by the police.
Friday:
Karen is now in prison for the crime. Soon, Karen is taken to a table that has a phone on it.
The officer says, "Incoming or not, this counts as your one call."
Wondering who is calling, Karen answers the phone.
Soon she hears Stone's voice, "A true shame that anonymous tip proved your crimes were an open-and-shut case, Karen. But don't worry about the coffee shop... it's in much better hands." and the call ends instantly.
Soon Karen's face has become pale, almost as she sees a ghost as she says, "Big Shot?"
Saturday:
Now Stone is the manager of the coffee shop and the head boss. He is sitting on the chair as he lounges with his coffee made of goat milk.
Bradyen walks over and asks, "Need anything else boss?
"Now that the shop is in working order, we'll need to be installing some new equipment. And it could use a new name too," Stone says.
And with that, Stone decides to name the coffee shop the Mean Bean Coffee Café.
Dr. Robotnik: But if you play these rubs against one another to the letter of my scheme, the only ones left standing will be ready to fall in line. Only then will you be ready to proceed to the Robotnik Manifesto: Phase Two!
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