Ah! A Costumer!
Wait whats your rush, whats your hurry!
You gave me such a fright,
I thought you were a ghost
Half a minute!
Can't you sit
Sit you down! Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a costumer for weeks
Did you come in for a pie, Sir?
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague
What was that?
But you'd think we had the plague
From the way, people keep avoiding
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, Sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, Sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them!
I should know!
I make them!
But good, no!
The worst pies in London!
Even thats polite. The worst pies in London!
If you dare to take a bite?
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
Its nothing but crusting
Drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London!

And now wonder with the price of meat!
What it is!
When you get it!
Never, thought I'd live to see the day!
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin poor animals
What are dyin' in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does a business, but I noticed something weird
Lately, all her neighbours cats have disseapeared.
Have to hand it to her
What a course
Enterprise!
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of its enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you the pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, Sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more -
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like its molting!
And tastes like .... we'll pity!
A woman alone ... with limited wind
And the worst pies in London!

Ah, Sir...
Times is hard!
Times is hard!