Warning: This one includes depression and eventually suicide. For those of you sensitive to the subject (not that anyone reads this) maybe don't read this one.

Lyrics:

I fell by the wayside like everyone else

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself

Our every moment, I start to replace

'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say

When you hurt under the surface

Like troubled water running cold

Well, time can heal, but this won't

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?

If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

So, before you go

Was never the right time, whenever you called

Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all

Our every moment, I start to replay

But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face

When you hurt under the surface

Like troubled water running cold

Well, some can heal, but this won't

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?

If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

So, before you go

Would we be better off by now

If I'd have let my walls come down?

Maybe, I guess we'll never know

You know, you know

Before you go

Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?

If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

So, before you go

Start

"I fell by the wayside," I laugh.

"Like everyone else," my brother cuts in, grinning and throwing his arm over my shoulder.

That was my last good memory with him. Since then it's been "I hate you, I hate you I hate you," even if I'm just kidding myself. Even if our parents are. God, life has sucked since our parents announced that they were getting a divorce. And our every family moment, I've started to replace. And now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say...

I hug him before he leaves for the institution, "When you hurt under the surface," I startle at his words, "like troubled water running cold. Time can heal some, but this won't."

I choke out a sob into his shoulder, "No, this is about you. Before you go," I continue in a choked whisper, "was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather." I stop there, chokes off by a sob, "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep this to yourself. I could've helped you. I could've at least tried."

"No, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be ok."

"It's not fair," I whisper, sniffing, "You always help me. It's not fair that I couldn't do anything."

And then he's gone. My mom drives him to the institution. Why didn't he tell me? We tell each other everything. But now he's off to a stupid mental hospital because he was going to kill himself, and I didn't even know anything was wrong. Why? Does he not trust me. 

I slap my hand over my nose and mouth, suffocating a panic attack before it really has time to start. I'm home alone now. No one questions it. 

So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make if all stop hurting, it kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless.

So. Before I go.

It's never the right time whenever he calls. It goes little by little, until there is nothing at all. And after I cut him off, I take my pistol out of its case, put it to my temple where I know the bone is the most thin, close my eyes, and squeeze the trigger.

POV switch: the brother

Mom comes today. It's a surprise, she came yesterday. I greet her with a small smile but it immediately disappears when I see the look on her face.

"Mom, what is it?"

"It's... your sister," she whispers, "She's gone."

A few days later, at the wake.

I lay my hand on the top of her coffin. It's closed. She shot herself in the head so we couldn't do an open coffin funeral. Everyone has already left. Even Mom and Dad. They wanted to give me some time alone with her one last time. "You know, after you died, I started to replay every moment of our. But no matter how hard I tried not to, all I could think about was that look on your face," my head droops, my chin nearly resting on my chest, "When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well time can heal some things but this won't," I sob, "So... before you go... was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better, if only I'd have known the storm you had to weather. 

"So, before you go," I turn around and sit with my back pressed against the table the coffin is on and cover my face, "Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you few so worthless..."

So... before you go.

I go back to the institution that night. Technically I'm 19 so I can sign myself in and out. I get a piece of paper and a pen and, watched by a nurse to make sure I don't slit my wrists with the pen, I write my little sister a letter. Well, more of a poem.

"Would we be better off by now

If I'd have let my walls come down

Maybe I guess we'll never know,

You know

You know

So

Before you go

Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?

If only I'd had known the storm you had to weather

So

Before you go

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

So

Before you go."

A/N: I have no idea how institutions work, I've never been to one. Sorry if it's not accurate.