f r o z e n   c o f f e e
—

It's around 40 when I arrive
And the cold has touched my eyes
Making them awake and alive.

It has frozen my bones
And numbed the feeling
As my fingers touch my face.

It's hard to believe that the temp
Has dropped so low,
For summer was only a few months ago,
High and dry on my face
And burning the color of my skin.

The coffee on my lips was smooth for the moment
But has now turned bitter.
I allow myself to sit outside
And drink on
When there is warmth just a doorway away.

Why do I sit in the freezing air
Barely under sunlight?

The morning has just begun
And warmth is hours away.
I could stand and walk through
A warm cafe just seconds away.

Yet I sit on the patio
With the freezing air.

Maybe I enjoy the bitterness in the coffee
With its hazelnut smell and dark
roasted
burnt
taste.

Maybe I enjoy the way I lose feeling
In my fingers and face.
Perhaps it is the way I finally feel numb
After the days of tears and swollen eyes.

Yes,
I'm finally numb, after the hours
And after the months
Of not being me;
And so I deserve the bitterness
And the cold of the morning.

Yes, I am finally awake.
I am finally me.