song: part of me
artist: Katy Perry
year: 2012

Days like this I want to drive away
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade

After the fake elimination ceremony in Greece, Courtney couldn't feel more lost. It was one thing to find out that your boyfriend cheated on you with one of your friends. But see him everyday, see that he doesn't care about the pain he brought her and see that he's happy with Gwen was awful.
First class was empty, since everyone was in the communal area for dinner. So she was crying alone in a couch.

-I just want this nightmare to be over...- She said- I just wanna go home.

You chewed me up and spit me out
Like I was poison in your mouth
You took my light, you drained me down

-You're joking, right?- Heather says, as she gets closer to the girl.

-Leave me alone... I don't need your fake sympathy. -Courtney cries even more- I just can be here any longer.

-Oh please...- Heather says before slapping Courtney in the face.

-Heather, what the fuck?- she says with her cold hand on her burning cheek.

-You needed a wake up call, since when you're a quitter?

But that was then and this is now, now look at
me

Those words echoed inside of Courtney's mind, it's true she doesn't give up without a fight. But her heart was in pieces, how could she possibly focus on the competition?

-I can't... He just... I knew it wasn't going to last... - Courtney says. - I should've ...

She couldn't finish the sentence. But all she could think was, "I should've listened to my parents." Her parents... They've never liked her relationship with Duncan, since they thought he wasn't enough for their daughter, but she followed her heart instead of their advice.

-Shh... Come here.- Heather says as she hugged Courtney.

-Why are you helping me? - she says wiping her tears.

-I don't like to admit it, but I'm not completely heartless.- Heather says- And you're one of the best competitors in here. No, I won't repeat it.

Courtney laughs a little. Out of all scenarios in her mind, it never crossed her mind that one day Heather would be comforting her.

This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!

-Thanks, I really needed this.

-You can't let that affect you, yes, it's not easy. But it can't have such a negative impact on your live.- Heather says- You're stronger than this!

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!

"Heather is right!" she thought "I AM stronger than this". Duncan may have been her first love and the person she considered the love of her life. However life goes on, and if he doesn't want to be a part of her future. It's not up to her to change that.

I just wanna throw my phone away
Find out who is really there for me

-Let's join them.- Courtney said.

-Are you sure?

-Like you said, I'm strong.-Courtney says- I can move on.

You ripped me off your love was cheap
Was always tearing at the seams
I fell deep, you let me down
But that was then and this is now, now look at me

Courtney walks inside the restroom, she was ready to face Duncan. But not looking like an emotional wreck.
When she looked herself in the mirror she was shocked. Her hair was a tangled mess, her cheeks were black because of the dried mascara, her coat was wet since she used to wipe her tears.

This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!

She took her coat off, then grabbed some make up remover and cleaned her face, brushed her hair and finally applied a new layer of mascara.
She looked at herself and took a deep breath, "I can do it!" she thought before opening the door.

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!

She closed the door and started walking. She only stopped to talk to Heather.

-Thank you! I needed this.

-Well... I only remind you of who you are.- Heather said as the brunette hugged her.

-I really wasn't expecting you to be so nice.- she confessed- Wait... that sound really bitchy. I'm sorry.

-I don't care. But never repeat that... It'll ruin my reputation.- Heather says.

Although Courtney was still skeptical about this side of Heather, she couldn't deny that she really needed someone to help her.

Now look at me I'm sparkling
A firework, a dancing flame

Walking into the communal area was better than she could've imagined. All eyes were on her, curious to see her next step.
Some were sure that a fight was about to happen, others were sure that she was going to have a breakdown. But she surprised everyone when she picked her food and sat down.

You won't ever put me out again I'm glowin' oh whoa

She was the talk of the moment, and in between all the whispers she was able to hear "I can't believe that she's acting like nothing happened."

-Just so you know, I'm listening.- Courtney said- And I'm not acting like nothing happened, I made a choice to move forward.

She hears a chuckle and turns her head, only to that it came from Duncan.

-What's so funny?

-You pretending like you weren't crying five seconds ago.

So you can keep the diamond ring
It don't mean nothing anyway
In fact you can keep everything yeah, yeah except for me

That hurt a lot more than she'd ever care to admit. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of affecting her.

-You're right. I cried but you know what? I wasn't for you. -she said making him confused- It was for myself, because I wasted my time and my love with someone who doesn't deserve me.

Duncan's face was priceless, it looked like froze. No one knew what to say, some were trying to hold their laugh others were just surprised, Heather on the other hand just showed a smirk.
Courtney couldn't be more proud of herself, she had regained her strength and confidence. And nothing could stop her now.

-By the way, I don't need this.- said while the took her promise ring off.

She made a pause.

-And I sure as hell don't need this as my lucky charm.- she said giving him the scull he gave her during the first season.

This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no!

"When you believe in yourself, you don't need to count on luck!" she thought with herself and focused on her meal.
Her relationship was over, but she has never felt more strong and empowered.
It's true, sometimes you'll fall and will have to get up by yourself then move on. However occasionally we need an extra help to get up.

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no

Failing is a part of life, just like disappointments and heartbreaks. But these are the things who make everyone stronger.
And Courtney was finally ready to accept the non so perfect part of her life, after seventeen years of being obsessed with being miss perfect, she was happy with being just Courtney.

This is the part of me, no
Away from me no
This is the part of me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, no

Not being a perfect girlfriend in a perfect relationship. Not being the perfect daughter. Not being the perfect lawyer. Not being the perfect friend. Not having the perfect grades. She was finally ready to accept her flawed part, because her flaws made her human. A unique human, and being unique is better than being perfect.

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul

Walking out off the communal area had an impact on her, those were the first steps of a new girl. A girl who was falling in love with herself above anything else.
Those were steps of a girl who wouldn't let anyone or anything stop her.

This is the part of me,
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no