59: The Becoming

The Bone Palace was falling down around them. Its arched windows shattered. The flagstone floors of the halls buckled and cracked. The towering doors, twice a tall man's height, shivered in their frames and began to splinter.

Sarka became aware in increments of a dozen cold hands carrying her. As she struggled to make sense of where she was and what had happened, she realized that she was being carried by the Beloved, borne aloft on their shoulders down the halls of Kogoren's palace. How-

"Tayo?"

He turned his face toward her. His eyes were brimming. Was he crying?

Sarka let head fall back, seeing the world upside down and trying to make sense of where she was. She noticed a familiar brown-robed figure hurrying along behind them, one arm crossed over his chest.

Overcome with fury, Sarka drew a breath and let it out in a scream. At once, the Beloved melted away from her. She found herself standing on her own two feet through no conscious movement on her part. Sarka looked down at herself, groping for the hilt of the dagger Konn had plunged into her heart, but it was gone. The plain brown robe she wore was torn and bloody, but the flesh of her breast was unmarred.

She looked up, confused and afraid. Konn came into focus, clearer and sharper than anything she had ever seen. He had come to a stop before her.

"You," she said. Her voice sounded strange to her ear. Was this what it was like, being a ghost? But she had been bound for the realm beyond realms. She should not be here. She should not even be aware of anything at all. She should be simply...gone. She should not have this strange, resonant voice, this strange body that was clearly not hers. Hers had been stabbed.

Konn lowered his head without speaking, his arm still crossed over his chest. Had he been wounded? No-he seemed to be carrying something in the top part of his robe.

A crumbling wall some distance from them gave way, the sound of the bricks crashing to the floor echoing toward them, accompanied by a cloud of dust. The hall was going to cave in on them, Sarka could see it, and-

-in an instant, they were outside, safe from the destruction of the Bone Palace. Sarka looked up, bewildered, to see the open sky, ink-black and eternal, studded with a million icy stars. She looked down. She stood bare-footed on a broad plain of white ash, and Konn was on his knees in the dust.

"You killed me," Sarka said. She looked again at her body, felt the flesh of her chest, trying to understand what had happened to her. She was dead, but she was whole. In fact, she felt better and stronger in body than she ever had.

Perhaps she had been permitted into some afterlife, despite everything. Maybe she was in Atai's realm of the dead. Did he have one? She had never asked. A poor pupil of religion she had been.

But that made no sense. Why would Kogoren's crumbling palace be in Atai's realm of the dead? Sarka closed her eyes for a moment, steadying her wits. She tried to focus on the matter at hand: her betrayal. She opened her eyes again, looking at the man who had killed her. "You stabbed me in the heart."

"It was the only way," Konn said.

"For what?"

Silent now, Konn produced the heavy book from the top of his robe. He laid it on the ground before him, facing toward Sarka, and opened the book to the final page. Sarka searched Konn's face. Seeing nothing there that explained what had happened, she walked toward him. She looked down at the book. The new letters were smeared and ugly, rippling the precious paper: something had been written on the last page of Kogoren's God-Song in fresh blood.

"I can't read it," Sarka said automatically, but she could. The letters came together into words. It amazed her. One glance, and what should have been cryptic could be understood. It was a kind of magic.

Having won the Allegiance of the Beloved and the devotion of the last Priest of Kogoren, Sarka the Scarred of the Ashlands ascended to Kogoren's Throne and assumed her Powers, and the Ash Mother crumbled into dust.

Understanding came to her in fragments, but Sarka pushed the pieces away. She closed her eyes and shook her head, whispering, "No, no, no," loathe to acknowledge what Konn had lain before her.

"She's gone, Sarka."

"You must take me back. We must fight her. She'll kill Ro."

"Ro is alive. He's safe."

"I want to see him."

And she did. It was as if there were an eye inside her mind, and her wish had opened it. Although she still saw Konn kneeling in the dust with Kogoren's God-Song lain out before him, she saw Ro, too. He was in Atai's temple. As she watched, Ro picked up a chair and hurled it at the unfortunate Atai, who stood with his severed head dangling from one hand by its hair and the other hand held up in a placating gesture. The chair glanced off his shoulder. Atai staggered, then steadied himself. His lips were moving.

"Lady Sarka?"

Sarka blinked, and the vision of Ro was gone; she stared at Konn, bewildered. "Tell me what you've done to me."

"I invested you with the powers of Kogoren. In becoming a goddess, you destroyed her."

"You what?"

"I didn't know if it would work. I almost can't believe it did-but I watched her crumble before my own eyes into dust. She's gone. Truly gone. And you...you are the Mother of Ashes, Sarka." Konn lowered his head again, bowing to her. He spread his hands above the hideous, magical book smeared with his blood. "Behold your God-Song. You are the goddess of Kogoren."

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