twenty: something about hospitals

Next thing I know, I'm waking up to the sound of something beeping rather loudly. It takes me a moment to remember what happened, sitting up with a start and waking up whoever it was that was holding my hand.

"Jesus, Ni." It's Harry, looking at me with nothing but concern. Normally I would've been alright with that, but considering that I was still very much upset with him, I didn't feel like he was allowed to feel concern towards me. 

"Why the fuck are you here?" I ask, keeping my voice steady despite the fact that in that moment all I wanted to do was cry. All I could think about was that he'd lied to me, again... He was probably going and fucking Rose behind my back, lying about being at the studio... He'd stood me up and my dad... 

"My dad..." I say suddenly with a gasp, trying to get out of the hospital bed but Harry's hands are holding me down. 

"Niall, you need to stay in the bed until the doctor comes." 

"No, I need to see my dad." 

"Niall, it's doctor's orders that you stay in the bed. She says any more stress and you'll lose the babies." Harry says and I stop moving, my heart skipping a beat and my entire body running cold. My throat is dry and I turn to look at Harry now. 

"How... How'd you find out?" I find myself asking. 

"When you passed out, it scared the living hell out of me... I had to carry you to the emergency... and your doctor just so happened to be walking through in that moment, rushed you in for an ultrasound to make sure they were okay. I didn't believe her at first, I thought she was just trying to cover up the fact that you had cancer or something... but then I heard the heartbeats and I just... Why didn't you tell me, Niall?" Harry asks, looking at me for some kind of answer. I let out a shaky sigh, running a hand through my hair because this hadn't how I had pictured this moment. 

But this was the moment whether or not I liked it. 

"At first I was scared to tell you, I thought you'd think I was lying, that I was crazy... that... that you'd leave me. I tried to tell you that first morning when you got back, but your phone kept ringing... and I just, I got discouraged. I started to wait for the perfect moment, but you were always gone and I... I just never found the time to tell you. I was going to tell you outside the bar and then again during Halloween but you never showed up... I just figured I'd tell you when I got the chance... and I guess this is my chance..." I say, trailing off in a whisper and looking down at my hands. Harry takes that moment to grab my hands in his, moving so that he's in my sight. It was an awkward angle to say the least, but I wasn't about to move.

"I wish you would've told me sooner, Ni."  

"Yeah, well I wish you would stop lying to me but I don't see that happening in the foreseeable future." I say, scoffing as I remove my hands from Harry's and lean against the bed again. Harry's staring at me with a somewhat bewildered expression, clearly having not expected the conversation to take this turn. 

"Niall..." 

"Where were you really at? Were you with Rose?" I demand, getting straight to the point because I was in no mood to dance around the issue anymore. 

"Wh-What? Why... Why the hell would you think that?" 

"Because I know she's the one who's been calling you, Harry. I know she's the one you keep going and seeing and I just... You told me you were done, you promised you'd stop talk-" 

"It's not Rose, I haven't talked to her since... God, since I told her to fuck off in the restaurant? Niall, it's my mother that's been calling me... She's been trying to convince me to come back home." Harry says, interrupting me and suddenly I feel like an ass. 

"Why... Why didn't you just tell me then? Harry, I would've understood." 

"I know... I just... I felt like this was something I needed to deal with on my own. It's my fucked up family and I don't... I don't want to drag you into the middle of it." Harry says quietly, biting his lip as he looks away from me. I wish I could say it made me feel better, that I was over the moon happy about it not being Rose...

But he'd lied to me, again.

"You still should've said something. You shouldn't have lied to me." I whisper and Harry nods.

"I'm sorry."

"That's what you keep saying, but nothing is changing. I can't... I can't do this if you keep lying to me, Harry." I find myself saying, refusing to even look at Harry because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to say what I needed to say next.

"I think... I think it's best that we take a break for a while." I whisper. 

"No. I don't want a break." Harry says without any hesitation. 

"I don't either, but right now... I just feel like I need to be on my own, figure out who I am outside of you again... and I think you need to figure that out too." I continue to whisper, finally looking at Harry again only to wish I hadn't. He has tears in his eyes and it was clear he was fighting them back.

"I know who I am without you, Niall. I'm lost, I can't... I need you, Niall... and you can't expect me to just walk away, especially not now. I won't do it, you can't make me." Harry says, shaking his furiously before looking at me with a hard expression. I let out a shaky sigh, running a hand through my hair as I look up at the ceiling for just a second, blinking back tears of my own. 

"I just need time, Harry. I'm not asking for forever, I'm just asking for a few weeks..." 

"Niall, the last time nearly killed me... I can't go through that again, I need you." Harry's voice holds a desperate tone to it and a few of his tears are going down his cheeks now. I let out a choked sob, hating the fact that I was doing this but I couldn't handle all of this right now. I couldn't balance worrying about Harry with worrying about the babies and my dad. 

"I don't know what else to do, H-Harry. I can't take sitting alone in diners anymore, I can't take waiting for you to pick up your phone for the first time in days... I know I said I was okay with all this and I am... but I just... I think our relationship needs to take a backseat until after your promo tour. You'll be home for a little while after that and then we can... we can work on fixing things properly." I say, barely keeping my own voice steady. Harry looks like he's about to argue more, shaking his head and opening his mouth to speak only to have Louis walk into my room. 

"Oh, Niall! Thank god, I was so worried. I heard about your Dad and then when I went to check up on him your mum said you'd been admitted. Why- Oh, am I interrupting something?" Louis stops, looking between Harry and I. 

"Yes y-" Harry starts, only to have me interrupt him this time.  

"No, Harry was just leaving." I say, looking down at my hands so I don't have to see his hurt expression anymore. 

"Niall..." Harry says slowly, but Louis is once again talking about a mile a minute. I'm not even listening to him, his voice being drowned out by the sound of Harry walking away. 

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ah cheese.

this chapter is longer than usual... it's also sad af, i might cry.

annnnnnnnnnd there won't be a double update cause i gotta be up early for work and i'm exhausted....

oh wellllllllllllll

qotc: do you guys think niall did the right thing? 

dedication goes to imzadinot

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connie xx