thirty-four: a mother's love

I go home for the first time in days, walking through the front door and practically collapsing against it once it's shut. I can hear my mother moving about in the kitchen, the smell of dinner filling the home which was something I hadn't even realized I'd missed. I don't head into the kitchen straight away, lurking a little in the front room as I try my best to compose myself. I was still crying despite the fact that I had watched Harry walk away hours ago and I sure as hell wasn't ready to talk about it to my mother. 

"Niall, is that you?" She calls out from the kitchen, her voice carrying. I clear my throat, scrubbing at my eyes a little before I answer, still flinching at how my voice cracks. 

"Ye-Yeah, Mum. Just... Just gonna get changed into something more comfortable and then I'll be in..." I manage to call out, walking past the kitchen and towards the stairs that lead up to my bedroom. I quickly change into a pair of sweat pants and a baggy hoodie, heading back downstairs and into the kitchen only to see it wasn't just my mother sitting at the dinner table. I wish I could say I was surprised, but with the way my entire week had been it wasn't much of one to see Harry's mother sitting there. 

"Mrs. Styles... I wasn't aware you'd be joining us." I found myself saying even though I knew that wasn't exactly the case. This was the first time I had seen Harry's mother this week, she'd shown up in my father's hospital room and gave me an offer... something that I had to take even if it meant letting Harry go. 

"I just stopped by to find out if you'd come to a decision over what we discussed the other day." She says, smiling but you could tell it wasn't real. I used to wonder how Harry could have someone like that for a mother, but now that I had seen the other side of it... I understood that Harry was actually just like his parents. They were liars, manipulative and they didn't give a damn about anything or anyone but themselves. 

"Uh yeah... If you'd like to just step outside for a moment..." I say, risking a glance towards my mother because I didn't exactly want to have this conversation in front of her. Mrs. Styles nods her head, standing up from the table and together we walk out to the back porch. I shiver a little as the November air hits my bare skin, silently wishing I had grabbed my hoodie but that reminded me of Harry. 

"So?" She asks once the door closes behind us, looking at me expectantly as I bite down on my lip. 

"I did it. Harry... Harry and I... We're through, just like you wanted." 

"And he has no reason to come back?" 

"I... I told him that I lost the babies." I barely manage to say it over a whisper, the familiar nauseating feeling of what I did hitting me in full force. I knew it was wrong, I knew I shouldn't have..

But I did it. 

"Great. As promised, I'll be having your father transferred to one of my facilities in the states and he'll receive the best care. Your mother and you will receive full accommodations there of course, provided that you don't contact my son in any way. I'll arrange everything within the next few days and contact you when it's ready. That will give you time to get your affairs in order and let your mother know what's going on. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Horan." She says, giving me that signature smile that all the Styles family seemed to have before she walks away. I remain standing outside for a little while longer, clenching my eyes shut as hot tears fall down my cheeks. 

It was done and there was nothing I could do to take it back. 

"Niall, sweetheart, dinner is ready. I also made you some hot cocoa cause it's freezing and you've been out here for quite some time." My mother says, bringing me back to reality after a short few minutes of sulking in my own self pity. She holds out a mug for me which I gladly accept before walking inside with her. 

"You doing alright?" She asks me, earning a small nod from me because that was all I was able to manage in that moment. 

"So what did Harry's mother want? I was honestly very surprised to see her sitting in front of our house this evening." Mum asks, already sitting down at the table. I let out a shaky sigh before I also sit down, taking a small sip before I answer. 

"She uh... She wants to help with Dad... She's got this really nice hospital over in the states and she's willing to move all of us over there... He'll get the best care there and I... I told her that I'd have to talk to you about it, bu-" 

"Of course! Anything, absolutely anything we can do to help your father..." Mum interrupts me.

"Okay... I'll... I'll let her know." I say even though I had already accepted her offer. I knew my mother would say yes because of how much she loved my father... It was the kind of love I wanted someday...

It was the kind of love I thought I had with Harry...

But now I felt like I was never going to find it.

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FUCKING HELL, I SUCK.

I CAN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT CHAPTER, BUT THERE'S A HELLA HUGE TIME JUMP COMING UP NEXT CHAPTER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. 

also, ya'll freaked the fuck out last chapter.... lol

but here's my question... I'm not gonna be doing a third book (as of right now) and I'm gonna continue with this one, but it's technically moving into pt 2 of the book... so i could switch over to harrys pov for the rest of this book if you guys wanted that... i'm also chill with writing nialls, but there's been requests for harry lately and yeah.... so if you want harrys pov instead of nialls... comment here lol. 

QOTC: shit, answer the question above cause the only one i can think of is what do you guys think is gonna happen next which is lame af lol. 

dedication goes to keepingupwidnarry

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connie xx