this chapter now picks up where the last chapter of CIWWAF left off... so yeah. 

one: maybe it's complicated

"You sure you don't want to come with me? I'm sure Jay would love to meet you and that way you can have a better understanding about what's going to happen." Harry offers me the morning after what was supposed to be a wonderful date, which it was until I found out that soon I wouldn't have the ability to just walk down the street to see my boyfriend. We were currently laying together in his bed, having not left it yet despite the fact it was now nearly eleven. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to face the day or the fact that this might be one of the last times I get to do this. 

"I just don't feel like I should be there, Harry... It seems like a rather important conversation that you need to have on your own with this Jay... You can call me about it later or I can come over tonight and we can talk about it then." I whisper, letting out a sigh as Harry tightens his grip around me which causes me to bury my face more into his chest. I kept breathing him in so that eventually I could remember what he smelt like... Maybe I could steal one of his jumpers or one of his pillows... He probably wouldn't even notice. 

"I can pick you up on my way back then, if you really don't want to come that is." Harry says, placing a soft kiss on my temple which causes me to close my eyes. 

"You're really not taking no for an answer..." I continue to whisper, humming when Harry starts to run his fingers across the exposed skin of my back. 

"I just wish you'd come with me is all... I enjoy being with you, I want to spend all my time with you..."

"Well I hate to break it to you but until you see a ring on this finger, I'm gonna have to exercise my independence card." I say, more as a joke than anything but the way Harry went rigid at the comment tells me he doesn't take it that way. 

"Are... is... Do you?" He stutters out, his grip on my loosening and I move a little so that I can look at him as I answer. 

"Isn't that what everyone eventually wants? I mean that's the end game, you either get married or you don't." I say like it's the most simple thing there was. 

"But do you?" Harry asks again, his voice a little steadier than before as he clears his throat. He sits up a little further on the bed, resting his head against the headboard as he looks at me with a somewhat panicked expression on his face.

"Well yeah, it's something that I want... but I'm not saying that I want it right now. We're not in a place where getting married is in the cards, so stop freaking out. I was just trying to make a joke, H." I say, trying to keep my voice light but it might've come off a little ruder than I intended and I didn't know why. 

"But what if we were? If I asked you right now, would you say yes?" He asks and I don't even have to think about my answer. 

"No, I wouldn't." I say honestly, rolling out of the bed and grabbing one of Harry's jumpers off the floor. It practically ends at my knees, he had such a long torso. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I literally just said we aren't in that place. You're about to leave, Harry." 

"So?" Harry asks again and I throw my hands up in the air with a somewhat annoyed groan.

"So I don't want to get married right now. We haven't even dated for a year yet, Harry. It's too soon." I point out and Harry is climbing out of the bed as well. He grabs one of his discarded t-shirts, throwing it on as he looks at me like I was losing my head. 

"Since when has that ever been a problem for us? We always do stuff too soon. It's like our thing." 

"Harry, you were engaged a year ago to another person." 

"Once again I have to ask, so what? She wasn't the love of my life, what happened, happened. I found you and I wouldn't mind getting married as long as it's to you. I get that it's not ideal for you, but it would be nice to know that you're at least open to the idea." Harry continues to argue and I was in no mood to do that anymore, at least not today. 

"I'm not saying the answer is always no, I'm just that if you asked me today that it would be no. Now you have somewhere you need to be and I'm pretty sure my mum is going to need my help with the store... Good luck with Jay." I say and maybe it's in a rush but I didn't want to be there anymore. I needed to get out, I needed to be away from him because everything was hitting me like a shit ton of bricks right now. 

"You're really just going to leave in the middle of this conversation?" He asks as I grab my shoes off the floor, quickly pulling them on and not even bothering to tie them. 

"This conversation is over, Harry. I've already told you my opinion and I really need to get going. I love you." I say, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing out of the bedroom. I pass Liam in the kitchen, giving him a small wave before practically sprinting out the front door so that Harry doesn't see the fact that I'm about to cry. 

Things were complicated and I knew they weren't going to get any easier. 

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"i don't want it to be dramatic so soon" she says

"let's make these little fuckers fight because i thrive off drama" she also says at one in the morning and proceeds to tear out her own heart along with majority of the readers.

what evennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, but eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, double update!

qotc: FUCK. whose side are you on for this argument, Harry or Niall's? Wedding or no wedding? ;)

dedication goes to Brinunez

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