nineteen: don't cause a scene

We don't hear anything until the next morning, my mother and I having gotten no sleep whatsoever due to the constant worry over what was going on with my father. His doctor walks into the emergency room with a small smile on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes like it used to. 

"How is he?" Mum asks, standing up from her chair with a hopeful expression. 

"He's stable, for now. It was a very close call, a few more minutes and we might not have been able to bring him back. We've still got him under sedation so it's easier to monitor his condition, but you're welcome to go and see him. He's still in the ICU, so only one of you at a time for now." He says, telling us the room number before he walks off. Mum turns to look at me at that point, almost as if she was scared to ask me if it was alright she go first... 

"You go ahead, Mum... I'm gonna... I'm gonna get some fresh air." I whisper.

"You sure?" She asks, more out of curiosity than anything but I appreciated the offer nonetheless.  

"I'm sure. Just call me when you're done." I say, standing up and kissing my mother's cheek before heading towards the hospital entrance. I walk a little ways from the doors, finding a bench and sitting down before letting out a very long and shaky breath. I put my head in my hands, blinking back tears as I feel myself lose it. I sit there for quite some time, silently crying tears of relief but also frustration because this shouldn't have happened. 

I should've been home last night instead of waiting like some idiot for my boyfriend to show up. My dad could've died and it would've been on me... It would've been my fault. 

"God, everything's such a mess..." I whisper to myself, wiping at my eyes before I look down at my stomach for the first time in days... There was a bump now, but to anyone who didn't know I was pregnant it would just look like some extra belly fat... I was running out of time to tell Harry, my next doctor appointment coming up in just a few days and I had wanted him to be there with me... but something just told me he wouldn't even bother showing up, giving me the same bull shit excuse he'd been giving me for days now. I had that stupid text memorized by now. 

stuck in the studio, can't make it. i'll make it up to you tomorrow xx 

"I don't think I'm ever going to get to tell your daddy about you... and at this point... I don't think I want to." I say quietly, not even feeling guilty for admitting it out loud because after a whole week of empty promises, it was the truth. I look up when I hear footsteps approaching, nearly throwing my head back with laughter as the last person I wanted to see is actually walking right up to me. 

"Niall... I am so sorry... I tried to call, but you didn't pick up..." Harry says, looking at me apologetically but it didn't mean anything to me. How could it when it was the same thing over and over again? 

He didn't mean it anymore.  

"You... You tried to call... I waited for over an hour for you to show up, I called you numerous times... I texted you... and you just... you tried to call me nearly three hours later while my dad was in surgery. I'm sorry, but I can't accept a half assed apology right now. Why are you even here? How did you know where I was?" I say, growing frustrated with Harry as he just stands there. 

"Your mum called me..." Harry says and I let out the bitterest of laughs that echoes around, causing Harry to flinch but he's still looking at me apologetically despite the fact I wasn't going to forgive him right now. 

It was going to take a lot more than "I'm sorry" this time. 

"Oh, so you'll pick up the phone when my mother calls but for me it's just straight to voicemail? Are you fucking kidding me, Harry? Do you even realize how fucking ridiculous that is? I didn't know where you were, so I had to call Jamie out of a-" I start to rant, Harry interrupting me before I got very far.

"You called Jamie? Why the fuck did you do that?" He demands, the apologetic expression replaced with one of angry for a second.

"Because you never answer the phone when I call you. Instead you leave me waiting in a restaurant by myself and figure I'll eventually get the message. Where were you?" I ask, my voice coming out in a desperate plea.

"I was with Gemma."

"Stop fucking lying to me. All you've done since you got home is lie and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of your bullshit, Harry." I don't care that in yelling now, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I try to catch my breath but this had been three weeks coming. Three weeks of Harry making promises, three weeks of this secret weighing down on me, three weeks of what was supposed to be bliss but was actually hell. 

"Niall... Princess, you need to breathe." Harry says, reaching out to touch me but I smack his hand away because there was no way I was gonna let him touch me right now. 

"I'll do what I fucking want and you don't get to touch me. I'm so fucking done, Harry." 

"You're gonna make yourself sick, Niall." Harry says, reaching out again and I'm starting to feel dizzy. 

"Fuck off." I yell again, pushing past him and trying to get away but then my legs give out. Harry catches me before I hit the ground too hard, but I really can't breathe now. I can see dots in my vision and Harry's saying something to me but I can't make out what it is. 

He's the last thing I see before I pass out. 

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ha, fucking cliffhangers are the shit.

i've updated this story too much in the past twenty-four hours so i leave you with this until tomorrow....

oh welllllll

qotc: where do you guys think harry was? 

dedication goes to Monii_qkaah

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connie xx