I'm having an anxiety attack.

Dear blade,

I think too much.

I have a heart but it doesn't beet the same way as those going through love or grief.

My thoughts don't connect and I'm so sorry.

My hands are shaking and I can barely write.

I have things to do but this is all I can do not to cry.

I don't understand why I feel this way.

Just vent just scream or run or whatever they tell you.

But I don't want to do any of that.

I don't want to talk I want to read and listen my thoughts away.

I have so many things I have to do but I'm not panicking I'm not.

No, No, I never panic.

I never panic until I realize that this anxiety that I feel has to be caused by something right?

I usually talk about love or the universe but right now I'm just talking because I need to focus on something else that can race my heartbeat through my mind. Beat it out before it gets comfortable there.

My shaky voice and serrated breaths don't mean much to me because I still don't understand them.

And I try so hard to understand.

Dear listen to me.

This was triggered by thoughts on a speech about true love but I can't even write it now because I can't think about it.

I could write a story or an essay, tell tales of pirate ships and captains with hooks or girls with good looks but what's the point if this doesn't go away?

See now I feel better, I can go back to work.

But next time I feel this way, I'll run to you first.

Sincerely, the damned kid at the end of the block.