Theo pov

I'm writing in a notebook. The title in the corner says: reasons to stay alive. I stare at the blank page. I think about it. I begin to write. 

-youll never know what life has in store for you

I stare at it and resist the urge to scratch it over. I think

- you still have all the good memories

I sigh, but I also have the bad ones

-you can make new memories

After I hesitate I write something else down

-april

I feel myself getting tired while thinking of other reasons

I'm at a funeral. Everyone is dressed in black and it's raining. I look at the person next to me it's April. He's crying. I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm gonna miss him so much" he says. I nod and look into the coffin. It's empty. A person steps towards me and give me a tight hug. "Goodbye" the whole Party follows his lead and April is the last one giving me a hug. I hug him too. I walk towards the coffin to check who it is when I feel something coming up my throat. It's blood, I'm coughing up blood and while I am I feel someone pushing me into the coffin. The coffin closes and I feel it descending into the ground. I start to scream when I suddenly feel water entering the coffin. Slowly drowning me. I try to scream but my head is underwater. The blue water closes my ears and my heart panics as I sink to the bottom of what seems to be a lake. I close my eyes and make peace with the end. When I wake up. I fell asleep. It's now morning. I decide to take a shower.

The warm water massages my head. I close my eyes. The shower provides a sound that comforts me. I begin to cough. I open my eyes and see blood on the ground. I frown and clean it up. Maybe I should go to a doctor. I dismiss that thought. I hate the doctors. I never knew why. Maybe it's because at the moment I know I'm mentally not okay. I mean I'm not stupid and one of my studied what psychiatry. I know that I'm most likely slipping into a depression but I don't want people telling me how to feel. I walk into my closer and choose a smart black suit. I comb my hair backwards and use gel to flatten it. I put on some black liner and chapstick. I look in the mirror. I look emotionless. I look like my father. Fear strikes me, I look like my father. I try not to cry and be mad at myself. I take a deep breath and go downstairs. 

Bartholomew is standing next to the table. I sit down when he excitedly says. "Clement you look exactly like your father." I stand up bang my hands on the table and snap. "Don't you ever call me clement! And I do not look like my father." I start to cough. My lungs hurt from the yelling. "I'm sorry Theo I will not call you that again." "I would greatly appreciate that" I say while sitting down again. I can barely get some food down my throat. I decided I want to go to the bookstore to look for new books. 

April pov

I walk around the bookstore. Looking for an easy book to start reading again but everytime I pick something up the letters start to dance. I feel ashamed. Someone walks into the bookstore and at first I don't recognize him. He starts looking through the best books. The literature. It seems like he knows what he's doing. I want to ask for a recommendation but I'm far too shy. "What're you looking for April?" Says the sultry voice of Theo. It startles me. The man who just walked in is Theo. I'm a little confused by his toned down outfit. He looks like his father. "Well, I haven't read in a while." "Hmmm, let's pick something. What about wuthering heights? I'll help you" "if you like it" "I read it several times so yeah I quite like it." We buy the books and before I can pay for my own Theo has already paid. 

We walk towards my home. I look at him. He's looking at the ground. He's wearing the signet ring from his father. That's a tradition in his family when you mourn someone. I look at him and decide to say it. "You look like your dad." He looks me dead in the eye without any sort of emotion and he raises his hand. I immediately double over trying to get ready for a hit but it doesn't come. He has lowered his hand and he is crying. "I'm so sorry." He abruptly turns around and walks away. I don't follow him. He needs time alone I think.

Theo pov

I am sitting in the treehouse. Reading basils favourite book. The dead poets society. I feel ashamed of my character today. I can't handle this, I'm out of control. I lay down on the hard wooden floor and look at the top of the trees through the window in the third story of our treehouse. Yeah, it was a pretty intricate one. It has three stories and a "lift" you need to power yourself. It's more like a shaft with some pulleys and a pallet but it was good enough for us. We were good enough for eachother. This was enough to feel like home, unlike the halls of the mystery manor. I chuckle he'd call it that in the stories he made up. He made up ghoststories about our home. I miss him.

Lachlan Pov

I'm looking at the green fields that speed by the train. Well actually we speed by the fields but that's something else. I'm sketching in a notebook, it contains sketches of the most beautiful person I know. I very carefully draw his dark hair half over his face. He looks like that when he wakes up. I grab my phone and call him. I'm shocked when he picks up. "With theodore." "Hi theo" "Hi asshole" he says cheekily. "I'm sorry about your parents." "thanks, have anything else to say?" "Are you drinking?" "Noooo why would you think that?" "Otherwise you wouldn't pick up the phone." He hangs up. The train slows down, well, the first time in his hometown I imagined a little more romantic but this will do.