Your coffee is ready

Nangangati talaga ang kamay ko na gawin iyon. Pero... 'di ko sure kung okay lang ba.

Pero gustong gustong gusto ko talaga, I'm sweating!

"Jules, pahiram ako ng phone mo," I said, snatching her mobile from the table while she's unaware.

I'm all up for guessing her password but there's just irresponsibly none. Now I have to call her out. I slammed the table in front of her. "Bakit wala kang password? Baka mag-leak nudes mo kapag nanakaw 'to."

She grunted. "I don't have one."

"Weh? Tingin nga ng photos..."

I went to photos to try and catch her, but all I saw were her pictures in University of Pennsylvania, some of it were with friends and some were with Chris.

In one album, though, were just hundreds of pictures of a whiteboard and powerpoint presentations. Lazy writer, come on use a pen!

"I know you have a secret repository but I'll let you get away with it because I'm thriving now," I proudly said with a hand above my chest.

"Anything you say doesn't make sense, Vie," she said lifelessly, still busy with something on her laptop. Okay, UPenn girl.

Darling, the attack? She should listen to my internal spiel, they're amazing!

I waved dismissively at hinanap ko na ang gusto kong makita. Tapos when I saw it, napangiwi ako. Bored kong pinadulas sa lamesa ang phone ni Jules para ibalik.

I mean... if she didn't do it does not mean I couldn't, right?

And because it's nearing Christmas now, I'll do it as a humble and low-budget gift for myself. I left Jules and went to the restroom of Nostalgic Brew, our coffee house branch here in Makati.

I took out my phone when I entered a cubicle. Then I head on to contacts to edit Jerrick's info. While snickering, I typed to concatenate the letters that spelled ko.

It's long overdue but now it's official on my phone, too. I squealed a lottle—little but, like, a lot—as my feet shuffled erratically for one sec.

I felt really silly because of what I did. There's a tickle in my heart my nerve endings kept on obsessing over.

Kagat ko ang labi ko nang makalabas ako ng cubicle because I'm trying to maintain my imagined composure. I didn't want anyone who knew me to see me smiling because they'd instantly assume something was up!

"Eeep!" A residue of giddiness slipped out my lips after I closed the door behind me.

Nakatungo akong naglakad, nakatago pa sa likod ko ang pareho kong kamay na nakahawak sa phone ko. Iyon tuloy, nabangga ako sa kunsino.

"Sorry—"

"Vie..." Oh, it's him. I looked away and pretended to cough. Like go cough hard, Vie, cough it all.

Ilabas mo na lahat ng kilig mo, Viennica.

"Hmm?" I looked up to him with innocent eyes. "Kadarating mo lang?" I struggled to ask, my hands were nervously clutching my phone from behind.

"Opo, sinusundo na po kita. Unless you still have something to do?" Jerrick asked, his brows shot up. "May tinatago ka?"

"Wala. Duh."

He chuckled. Niyakap niya ako tapos nanghina ako. Okay, self, I know you're supposed to be marupok to just him—but keep it cool! Save some face, gee.

Nakuha ni Jerrick ang phone ko!

My pupils distended as a wave of words updated the pages of the Book of Viennica: Embarrassment Exposé Volume XIII. Yeah, and Jerrick definitely bought the first edition of my book.

"Are you texting someone else?" he asked, smirking. Nakataas ang kamay niya para hindi ko maabot ang phone ko.

"I don't text irrelevant creatures in my life, if that's the answer you're aiming for." I rolled my eyes.

He shrugged. "Okay lang naman sa 'kin."

What? I glared at him in confusion.

"Wala namang binatbat ang ibang lalaki sa akin," he continued, oh so casually. "They can't get to you so I'm good. But say, hypothetically in a nonexistent universe or someplace nowhere and at a time when-never, someone actually did—why would you entertain someone below average when you already have me?"

Napatulala ako sa kanya. Tanging nasabi ko lang ay isang mabagal na, "Wow."

"Yes, that's true. I am wow." He shrugged again.

Nang balikan niya ng pansin ang phone ko ay napatakip na lang ako sa mata. With my fingers slightly stretched so there's little gap where I could peek.

"I'm going to open your phone," he said, but his tone was asking for permission.

Pumikit ako, at kunot-noo na tumango. I couldn't exactly hide it from him forever, but I didn't anticipate he'd see it this soon!

I heard a click so my left eye snapped open. Kung sana hindi niya alam ang password ko at hindi naka-register ang fingerprint niya!

But okay, I do admit, ako ang pumilit sa kanya na i-register ang fingerprint niya sa phone ko. Uhh, gusto ko lang kasi... boyfriend ko naman siya.

"Jerrick ko," he read out loud, beaming at the screen of phone. His ears flushed pink.

When he looked at me with that annoying smirking lips, I turned my back and stomped away.

"Vie, ang possessive mo pala—"

"Lalalala!" I prattled. Tinakpan ko pa ang pareho kong tenga ng kamay.

I pursed my lips as I walked back to our booth. Hinila ko ang cardigan at satchel ko. I knocked on the table to get my cousin's attention. "Hasta la vista, UPenn girl."

"Hinahanap ka ni Jerrick, ah?"

"I know, that puppy. Oh, tell him Viennica's gone. I go by Elize now."

No, I don't.

Kahit iyon ang sinabi ko ay nagmadali pa rin ako papunta sa parking space at sa tapat ng sasakyan ni Jerrrick ako nauwi.

Nakakainis pa rin 'yong ngiti niya, gusto kong suntukin iyong labi niya... gamit ang akin, pwede ba 'yon? Uhm.

But really, nakakainis!

He unlocked the door at hindi ko na siya hinintay na pagbuksan ako ng pinto. Pagkapasok ay pumikit kaagad ako at nagpanggap na tulog.

Our condo was just nearby. We live side by side and still not together. I wasn't ready yet for that. Although, our situation mimics the life of live-in partners already. It's just that in this way we could still have our personal space, not that we needed to.

Ano... gusto ko siyang kasama palagi, pero hindi ko inaamin. Alam ko kasi na aasarin niya lang ako!

"Kamusta ang work?" he asked. Slumping down the couch beside me. Inabutan niya ako ng glass of milk.

"Tiring. Busy, but we're almost ready for Christmas Café Sospeso."

Yes, I'm now working. And I'm good at it, I promise! Sa life in general lang ako hindi good. Now that the jobs of our amazing baristas and staffs all over the metro were partly placed under my hands, I knew I had to be the unswerving person that I was to keep them in a steady shape in life.

I had a good life growing up, minus the petty heartbreak, that's why it only felt right to pave the way through littlest things for other people. I think that's how we all should be instead of gut-punching people to get them down on their knees just to show who towered over them.

"You sure you're working? 'Di ka naman busy sa pagbabago ng pangalan ko sa contact list mo?" he grinned.

Dapat pala hindi ko na lang ginawa! I should've copied Jules instead. Simpleng pangalan lang ni Chris tapos may emoji na heart sa dulo.

Can I gut-punch someone now? Isa lang!

Pero ayoko rin pala siyang masaktan, kaya kinagat ko na lang ang kamay niya.

"Aw," he complained but a hint of laughter was still there. Itinuro niya ang labi niya. "Ito na lang ang kagatin mo, Vie. Ang galing mo kaya kapag ito ang kinakagat mo."

Para akong nalagutan ng hininga. Hinampas ko siya ng throw pillow habang nakasalag lang ang braso niya at tumatawa.

"Why are you so shy? I like it. Ayos lang masugatan ang labi ko kung ikaw ang susugat."

"Ang," hinampas ko siya, "baboy," hampas ulit, "mo!" Sa huli kong subok na humampas ulit ay nakuha na niya iyon mula sa akin at hinagis sa kawalan.

Supporting the small of my back, he swiftly laid me on the couch and hovered over me.

I gulped. I guess right now's a golden time for my second admission that, yes, I sometimes bite his lips when we kiss—sometimes. And, well, it's only because he's kissing me like a beginner!

Gusto ko na kasing maramdaman iyong ano... paano iyong feeling na... basta!

"It's ten in the evening, why are we still not kissing?" he asked in the way I'd always succumb to his deserving plea.

Bumigat ang talukap ng mga mata namin. He primed his lips with his tongue, revealing his proverbial prelude to what would be an inflamed harmony of our lips.

I jammed my arm between our bodies with the palm of my hand supporting his chest.

"Kasi ang boring mong humalik," I croaked.

He smirked briefly. "If I go overboard, you're going to drown. Do you know how to swim? Hmm?"

My eyes blinked, his words intoxicating the fibers of my thoughts. Will it really be drowning?

Kinagat ko ang labi ko. Gusto ko... parang gusto kong malunod. I wouldn't even try to swim. Let me drown.

I allowed my eyes to close in full surrender. I felt him dip down to kiss my forehead, then down to the bridge of my nose, then down further to my—wait no. He's gone.

Nagliwanag ang paningin ko at nakita ko siyang humahalakhak sa gilid na parang walang nangyari.

Hala, bakit na naman!

My mouth was hanging. Literally. And I wanted to kill him. Literally. Not.

Habang malayo pa rin siya ay inabot niya ang kamay ko. Kamay na naman! Lagi na lang ang kamay ko!

"Don't pout, Vie," he chuckled. I just hissed. "Ayokong madala tayo at mahulog sa lugar na pagsisihan mo."

I rolled my eyes. "Feeling makata ka na nyan? You're just weak. Siguro hanggang ganong ka-boring ka lang talagang humalik, 'no? Like I said before, nakakaantok iyang labi mo. Your fangirls would be disappointed at this headline."

He bit his lip in amusement. Ayan, ikaw na lang ang kumagat dyan! Sarilihin mo, ha?

"You're not teasing me, sunshine. 'Di mo ako kaya. You're not manipulating me."

"I'm speaking facts only." Itinaas ko ang kilay ko para dumepensa. "If you kiss like a noob, it's fine. Psh! 'Di naman kita ikakahiya kahit wala kang moves na alam." I shrugged to taunt him.

Yes, I was indeed taunting him, I just didn't say it because that's number one rule of taunting.

Tumayo siya, nangingiti pa rin, at dumiretso sa may pintuan. Nagtago ako ng ngiwi. Hindi talaga nag-work iyong sinabi ko?

Pinaglaruan niya ang susi sa kamay tapos binuksan na niya ang pinto.

"Good night, Vie..." sabi niya sa tonong nagtatago ng halakhak. Har har, just laugh. I'm gonna give you blue balls someday.

I crossed my arms. Nang hindi nakatingin, I spoke, "Yeah, good night to you, too, Sir! Also, not sure if you'd like to hear but I'm just gonna say it, still. I think I could kiss myself better in the mirror and feel intensely good than the times you had made me feel—combined!"

My chest heaved. Nakangisi siyang umiling at nagpaalam ulit, "I'll see my girlfriend tomorrow. Can you please tell her that I love her?"

I scoffed, but I still nodded.

"She says she loves you, too," I said, still grumpy.

Hindi ko na pinigilan ang pagnguso ko pagkasarado niya ng pinto. Sure na talaga siya? Final answer 'yon?

When no Jerrick came crashing back, I guess it really was. I understood him, though and of course. I guess I could really be mesmerizing and irresistible that he won't be able to stop himself once he begin. It's hard to be me, I know.

In the morning, I change skin to be a Working Viennica. I used to work for Tita Lar, now I work with her. I already loved working at the café, there's no other reason for me to change my lane.

I'm also so so serious when I'm at my office that even if Jerrick comes to visit during his idle hours he just usually sleeps at my office couch.

Today was different, though. Nakapangalumbaba siya sa harap ng desk ko at nakatitig sa akin.

Nope, I'm serious. I'm working.

"Shit. You're looking really hot right now while working," sabi niya sa malalim na boses.

Serious, Vie. You're dedicated, you're unshakable.

"I could kiss you recklessly now," he hummed, his fingers traced the skin of my arm. Like how a feather does it, my soul was tickled to nothing but excitement.

Nanghihina na ako, ready na talaga. Sinalubong ko ang tingin niya. Palming my laptop screen shut, I stood to reach his face but only to drop back down to my office chair because someone knocked on the already opened door.

Why?!

"Hello? Let's go na! 'Di ako magtatagal sa labas," called out Jules. She sighed. "You two act like you don't see each other every frickin' day since you met!"

Correction, there was, like, two weeks that we didn't. One when he did his thesis, and second, when he went to Sagada. We video-called, but I won't count tele-appearance.

"But okay, it's on me. You're both my doings," she said fairly proudly. Nakangisi at nakataas ang baba niyang umalis.

"Uhm, mamaya na lang," I mumbled to Jerrick, clearing my throat after I saw him grinning at what I said.

"Definitely."

It's been a tradition for us to hand out free coffees to people in busy streets some nights before Christmas. Corporate people in the crazy world of business were all in a rush to finish pending engagements so they could spend the holidays just thinking about what to get for presents.

I loved handing out coffee to deserving people—which was everyone. Coffee is not even discriminatory to those allergic to it.

Jerrick and I were just bystanders as our staff took over the handing out of coffees. Tumatawag din ako sa iba naming tauhan na nasa ibang lugar para gawin ito.

The colors of the world blinked red and green. People were careful not to close their eyes for too long because time right now raced to age quickly.

Ang bibilis maglakad ng mga tao, perhaps on the run for their usual commute home. Marami na rin ang may bitbit na paperbags sa mga kamay nila na sigurado akong mga regalo ang laman.

"Salamat po sa kape, ma'am, sir," sabi ng isang lalaki na tila nasa mid-40s na. Nahihiya siyang ngumiti.

"Mabuti ay may pa-ganito po kayo. Malamang nito mga apat na oras akong magba-byahe pauwi, kasama na ang pag-pila sa terminal."

Nakangiti ang labi ko ngunit ang mata ko ay nakikisimpatya. I sighed at the grueling thought of the holiday traffic.

Tumango si Jerrick sa tabi ko. "Grabe nga ho ang traffic dito sa Pinas, Tay. Lalo na ngayong magpa-Pasko. Mag-iingat ho kayo."

I shifted my gaze to him. Seeing him respectful like this to other people... ah, no words. I smiled at him in background as they continued to converse.

"Iba ang pagod sa pagtatrabaho, pero kailangan, e. Kahit mahirap ang buhay, sa panahong naibibigay ko ang pangangailangan ng pamilya ko gumagaan na ang pakiramdam ko. Handa nang muli para sa laban kinabukasan."

And that's the dusky reality of the greater Filipinos, if not of all races. Our fellow countrymen struggled everyday to make ends meet. Pagod na pagod ngunit kapos pa rin. Kawalan ng pag-asa, dinadaan lamang sa mabubulaklak na salita at kailan ma'y walang gawa. Iyong mga taong nasa upuan na may obligasyong iangat ang nakararami ay sila pang humuhukay ng masalimuot tadhana bilang kapalit.

We surely don't need to romanticize the resilience of the Filipinos, yet I solidly commend all those with good hearts that were after the goodwill of others.

I know it's almost Christmas and I definitely don't want to be in such somber mood, but I just can't keep my thoughts away from the naked truth that while it's indeed a holiday, it doesn't lift the battles that the oppressed all face.

Nilingkis ko ang braso ko kay Jerrick. Humalik siya sa tuktok ng buhok ko.

"Let's go home?"

Frowning, I just nodded. I was done for today. Tomorrow, I'll be happier.

Habang nasa byahe kami pauwi ay ka-video call ko ang mga pinsan kong babae. Snooki's in New York that's why she's the pinaka-bangag sa aming lahat because of the crazy time difference. Saige's was still not done with her Christmas Tree decoration. While Ate Carina and Jules were only just cooking each of their own dinner.

Magkakahiwalay na kami ngayon. We really did grow up, huh. But I knew the kids in all of us when we're all together won't cease.

After getting home, I placed my laptop on my lap. It's time to collect what I was promised of. Kinunot ko ang noo ko habang nagpapanggap na nagtatrabaho.

Takang-taka si Jerrick na pinapanood ako mula sa tabi ko. I never brought work at home, but tonight's different. Ginalingan ko pa, pero mas ginalingan din ng confusion ni Jerrick at halata iyon sa mukha niya.

Awie, hindi na ba siya attracted?

Ngumuso ako at itinabi ang laptop. And I think that's only when Jerrick got the hint.

"You make me really weak," natatawa niyang sabi nang umiiling.

Umirap ako. Oh, just drown me to your liking while I'm still after the idea of it!

Ginalaw niya ang necktie niya para tanggalin iyon. Napangisi siya nang makita niyang lumunok ako. Hinagis niya ang necktie at ngayo'y pinagtutuunan naman ng pansin ang mga butones ng longsleeve niya.

He unbuttoned three of it from the top. That's when I knew it. Eeep! Game na, ito na talaga!

With his gaze scorching the walls of my soul, I was no longer interested on holding back. For seven months, I've waited for this!

"I'm going to kiss you like how you wanted it, Vie. And I'm not gonna stop until you say so."

I helplessly bobbed my head smoothly. An uproar of yes was the only sound that occupied all parts of me.

Binasa niya ang labi niya para sa akin. Hindi na niya ako ininip at dinampi na niya iyong labi niya sa akin. Ang unang halik ay mabagal.

Tulad sa aming huling kabanata ay pumaibabaw siya sa akin nang maihiga niya ako sa sofa. Ngayon ay hindi na mapaghiwalay ang labi namin na tila ang paghinga ng bawat isa ay pinagsasaluhan namin.

"Vie, are you okay?" he asked drunkenly, lips slightly parted from mine.

I just nodded and pulled him again by his collar. I smacked his shoulder when I felt his smug smile on my lips.

Not a minute long, he's already kissing me as if it would be our very last kiss. Marahang nagkakasalubong ang noo namin sa bawat galaw, ang mukha ay pabaling-baling sa magkabilang gilid.

I already made a mess out of his hair, but I felt like I could do more gentle ruin. My fingers sifted through it as I bit his lip because I felt his hands traveled a little higher than the sides of my love handles. There he caressed his thumb on places where it's meant to.

His lips and touches rivaled for my attention, but here I was ready for it all at once.

Cautiously, everything burned in a good fire.

Humiwalay siya. Nang magmulat ako ay nanatili pa rin siyang nakapikit. Our chest were heaving in the same rhythm. We hadn't done so much and I'm not satiated, but I'm okay with a little pause.

Instead, I said, "Thank you for sticking with me. I may be nowhere near the top, and I'm not quite sure if I'll get there wherever it is, but I am happy now. Here."

He made it seem like all my hurting only lasted as quickly as the unconscious blink of an eye that I now barely remember any of it.

"You're not only reaching the top, Vie, I'll make sure that the sky is yours."

I'm not scared of anything that concerns him anymore. Being afraid is one sign of bravery. It only means I acknowledge the parts where I am flawed. And because I do, I'll know how to defeat fear until I'm not terrified anymore. Now, I'm just scared of a future without him.

He's made me realized that I could be loved for who I am and not for who I should have been. The people who were wrong enough not to realize that were best left in sunset.

Sunset tells us that the stars are coming. Above us, they glitter to let us know that they are there, keeping an eye.

At night, the moon will see all of us. We'll look at the sky and think that somewhere near the shores the waves will be bigger as ever. It is terrifying if we swim against the numbing tide, but beautiful if we just settle on watching it from afar.

Sunrise gives us daylight for a new hope. Now I know why the biggest star ascends alone after the dark. It's because we don't need to glow in all regions where it's hollow, it only takes one cosmic light to keep our own world aglow.

I am my own sun, but he is definitely the east where I rise.

I bit my lip and slithered my palm on his jaw. "Jerrick, sa tingin mo ba magtatagal tayo?"

"I know we're going to last, Vie."

"Until when?"

"Until everyone's gone trying to disprove it."

f i n