Bus Tour, Bike, 'n Benj

For my first weekend in NYC, I decided to take a bus tour.

No shopping, no splurging. Just eating and sight-seeing. Appreciate ko lang ang view and attractions ng city at pollution, gano'n. Bawi na lang ako ng skincare before bed. Now I'd have an excuse to use my expensive goody-good mask.

I was in line waiting to hop on the open-top tour bus. I wore very unoriginal touristy clothes, as, in the infamous and overpriced white I heart NY shirt, a short and flip flops, a big hat, and my black sunnies.

Umakyat ako sa upper deck ng bus na walang bubong noong turn ko na. At the top, I felt a bit bigger than the big apple. I exhaled a happy breath as the sky above me gleamed bright.

Sumampa ang babaeng tour guide sa bus at masigla kaming binati. "How are ya'll doing today, hmm? Doing good? Yes?"

Masigla rin kaming sumagot pabalik, ang iba naman ay humiyaw pa. Ayyo, let's go!

"Today we're visiting all the best of NYC. Ya'll ready to see the best skyscrapers and vintage walls in the city?"

"Yasss! Woo!" I hooted along with others and with both of my arms raised up high.

Itinuro ako ni lady ma'am tourist guide at kumindat. I winked and pointed at her back, giving her a stroke of good luck on her tour performance for today.

"Let's motherflower go!"

As the bus moved, the mixture of oxygen, nitrogen, and pollution blew on my face. My hat was dancing and my hair was flying. Nasa tuktok ng ulo ko tuloy ang kamay ko para hindi liparin ang hat ko.

Ang mga kasabay kong turista ay abala na sa pagpi-picture sa dinadaanan naming view. Nakataas ang mga kamay nila at sa gitna noon ay ang kanilang nakahigang cellphones at nagvi-video.

Binuksan ko rin ang Instagram ko para mag-post ng story clip. I made sure I had a beautiful architecture behind me before I started to record.

"Yo!!! It's your girl, Snooki, livin' lovin' from the Big Apple!" I screamed tapos ay dumila pa ako. Ipinakita ko sa camera kung ano ang nasa likod ko 'tsaka tinapos ang video na naka-peace sign ako.

So far, our bus strolled beside Central Park, the monumental green park in the middle of a busy city. Sobrang lawak niya na tila sa atin ay pwede nang maging isang maliit na bayan. I've been inside the park before already so it wasn't much of a bummer to me that we're just sightseeing from the top of our bus. And from my experience, if anyone would want to explore the whole of Central Park, they'd have to allot a different full day for it. Marami kasing pwedeng gawin sa loob, from exploring recreational activities to, get this, going to the park's mall! You could even attend a concert inside had there been any.

So ayon, puro puno ang nadaanan namin. I thanked the trees for the oxygen, they're awesome. Hashtag plant more trees, hashtag save the environment.

"Here we have the Flatiron Building, one icon of the city. You might have seen clips showing the building from Friends, or from Late Show with David Letterman."

Tumatango lang ako at nag-picture. Well, Friends was set in New York.

"Also, I feel the need to tell you that there weren't any female bathrooms in the original Flatiron Building, or as it's apt to say—The Fuller Building. I know, right, why?" mabilis niyang dagdag nang magtaka ang karamihan. "Well, the Fuller Company did not anticipate women to frequent the headquarters, as they've said. But still, though, why?" she continued dramatically and laughed silly afterwards.

We passed by the limestone-made and terra cotta-glazed building. And as our bus drove beside it, I looked up and saw intricate fleur-de-lis design and gargoyle statues.

Meron ding streets na halos gumagapang lang ang bus dahil sa traffic o sa mga tumatawid na pedestrians, pero okay lang, I'm a patient creature—or as I'd like to think.

"Everybody, we are now in the millionaire's row, the 5th Avenue, one of the most elegant and expensive streets in the world."

Oh, no. Nanginig bigla ang kalamnan ko. Mabuti talaga ay mag-isa ako rito at walang kunsintidor na kasama.

Fifth Avenue was also known to be a shopping street that was world-famous, too. I knew it by heart and lady ma'am tour guide reiterated it.

Sinasapian ako ng kaluluwa ni Saige. Nakangiwi ako at pilit inaabot ng mga kamay ko ang mga boutiques—and as if the world was in slow motion.

My eyes sparkled as my eyes glistened with hopeless tears. I pouted. "Tiffany & Co."

On the street, we were drowned with high-end shops and their elegant, luxurious boutiques architecture. Hugo Boss, Prada, LV, Ferragamo, and the ahh-no-I-cannot-look-anymore!

Makapag-Taytay na lang siguro pagkauwi ko sa Pinas.

As we go further, I saw Saks Fifth Avenue, where whatever's inside didn't come with a price that was saks lang!

'Di ko naman pinagkakaitan ang sarili ko, actually. I just didn't want to spend much because I'd be staying here for at least a year. I wanted to be wise with my resources as early as now because hashtag adulting.

We passed by Rockefeller Center and was on the way to the Statue of Liberty. I'd definitely go back there on Christmas season. Tapos sana naman may jowa na 'ko niyan. Gusto ko si Archer, Lord, thanks po in advance!

Hindi tulad sa iba naming stops, pinayagan kaming bumaba para makapag-picture kay Liberty. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na may full name pala siya na Liberty Enlightening the World. For a name, that's beautiful. Buti 'di siya nag-NCAE, baka 'di magkasya name niya sa papel or something.

"The statue was a gift from France to the United States of America to commemorate our alliance to the country," our tour guide said. Itinuro niya iyong taas na parte. I squinted because of the sun's glare.

"If we can look closely at the crown, we'll see about twenty-five vertical openings which are windows," pagpapatuloy niya. Mas tinalasan ko ang tingin. Ah, windows pala 'yon, akala ko design lang. "And Liberty's shoes is a size 879!"

What? I get that she's a giant, but think about what if Liberty was a guy.

I snickered at the thought.

Tinapos ko ang tour sa tapat ng hotdog stand pagkabalik ko ng Midtown, munching hotdogs till I was full for the day. And then on Sunday, I just worked out. Then, it was Monday again.

Finally!

"Auntie, I went on a bus tour this weekend!" share ko lang kay boss.

"May kasama ka ba?" tila nag-aalala niyang tanong. Tumigil siya sandali sa pagaayos ng mga yarn.

"Wala po. Bakit pasasamahan mo po me kay Archer?" Ngumiti ako nang malaki.

Umiling-iling siya. "Doon ka sa labas, bantayan mo iyong mga bulaklak o pakainin mo si Nelia."

Ngumiwi ako. "It's Cornelia, Auntie."

"O, pakainin mo si Cornelia," pag-uulit ni Auntie. I smiled some more. That's right, Auntie, call my best friend by her rightful name.

"Okay!" I squealed.

So, actually, 'di ko alam kung paano pakakainin si Cornelia the Chameleon. What do lizards eat, by the way?

Kasaluluyang walang tao sa loob ng shop kaya hinayaan ko na ang sarili ko na sumigaw para magtanong.

"Auntie! Ano pong pagkain ni Cornelia? Does she eat a burger? I don't know what to feed her!"

Natigilan ako at napahagikhik. I loved it when I unintentionally rhyme.

"Give her the crickets!" answered a distant voice.

"Oh, okay." I strugged. Hinanap ko kung nasaan iyon. Then I saw a clear container of preserved crickets in one shelf.

Inabot ko ang container para ipatong sa counter. Tinanggal ko ang lid so as to commence my job. I'm so versatile, my family would be proud of me, I am chameleonogist now. It's a thing not everyone would understand.

Once the lid was right beside the container, my eyes widened because the crickets were moving! And it wasn't because of gravity! Or physics! Or...

"Tonette!" I yelled, unsure and still stiff. My wide eyes were glued on the insects. "Are the crickets alive?"

"Buhay ang mga iyan, Snooki! Iyan ang ipakakain mo sa kaibigan mo."

Okay, I appreciate that Auntie finally acknowledged that Cornelia was my newfound best friend but let's just not forget that these insects were still alive!

"Hala, kakainin niya po 'to nang buhay? Legit po ba? I don't wanna murder someone!"

"Snooki, just do it!"

Well, easy for you to say, Miss Tonette!

I released an encouraging breath. Okay okay okay okay! Kaya mo 'to, Snooki. Parang iyan lang, eh!

Tinakpan ko ang mata ko gamit ang isa kong kamay tapos iyong isa naman ay may hawak sa cricket container. Sinundan ko lang ang puso't pakiramdam ko na ilagay iyon sa loob ng cage.

Naramdaman kong dumila si Cornelia kaya nabitiwan ko iyong container. Kinikilabutan akong tumalon-talon sa gitna ng shop.

I bawled, "Bestie, 'wag gano'n!"

Pinapagpag ko ang kamay ko because of chills. 'Di ako nandiri, I was frightened! Lakas ng tibok ng puso ko, akala mo nagmamahal at minamahal, e!

Nang silipin ko ulit, pagala-gala na iyong mga crickets sa loob ng enclosure. Time to ask Tonette again.

"Auntie!" I yelled, she yelled back a complaint but I just continued. "Nakakawala sa bahay ni Cornelia 'yong crickets! Oks lang po ba 'to?"

"Hindi, Snooki! You have to bring the crickets closely to the chameleon. Hindi niya iyan agad mahahanap kung nakakawala sa kulungan."

Oh. My. Gosh!

Umiiyak na ako, wala pa ring luha. What, now I have to put my arms inside her house? No way!

Nilingon ko ang entrance, wala rin namang pumapasok na bagong customer, may panahon pa kaming magtuos ni Cornelia.

I didn't wanna do this but I also didn't want her to starve, she's my best friend. Kaya pumikit ako at mabagal na lumapit sa bahay niya. Nakangiwi ako at yukot na yukot ang mukha ko dahil sa takot. Slowly, I put my arms inside. Nakapikit pa rin ako. Kung paano ko hahanapin ang mga naggagalang crickets ay bahala na! Baka gamitan ko na lang ng feelings.

Napapatili ako at the touch of something I didn't know on my arms, pero push lang! Idinadaan ko na lang sa pag-ngawa. I was really stupid for now opening my eyes, I know!

"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!" I panted. "Auntie, 'di ko na kaya!"

Lumayo ulit ako at nagtatalon sa gitna ng shop dahil sa kilabot. I shimmied so hard it could cause an earthquake!

"Young lady, are you alright?"

My whole being froze. Shocks, may customer na!

"Yes, I'm fine." I smiled shyly as I collected myself. Nanghihina pa rin kaya ako! "How may I help you?"

Ngumiti iyong matandang lalaki sa akin tapos ay binalingan niya ng tingin si Cornelia. "How may I help you? Are you having trouble with Nelia?"

I flinched at the name. Kinagat ko labi ko at nagpumilit ngumiti. Gusto kong i-correct si Uncle pero parang maling gawin.

"Pinapakain mo ba siya?" he followed up. I knew he was a Filipino himself! Napangiti ako sa naisip. Tila mixed blood kasi siya, ganoon, na 'di mo mahihimigan kaagad na Pinoy si Uncle.

"Yes po, e. Kaso nahulog po iyong pagkain sa bahay niya." I smiled apologetically. Hinagod ko ang batok ko.

"Benjamin?" Auntie confusingly called after entering the scene.

Hala, si Auntie tsaka lang lumabas?

"Antonette," masayang bati ni Uncle... Benj. Let's make it Benj para magmukhang years younger si Uncle.

Nagtikom ng bibig si Auntie, parang nagpipigil ng ngiti. Nanlaki ang mata ko. Oh my gosh! Crush niya si Uncle Benj?

Looking at Uncle now, he's handsome for his age that it won't be hard to believe he was a hotshot during his prime years. Kaya naman pala nanghihina itong si Tonette! May tinatago rin palang ano sa katawan si Auntie.

Hindi ako napansin ni Auntie kahit ni-report ko sa kanya iyong nangyari sa amin ni Cornelia. Mahinhin lang siyang humalakhak at tumango sa 'kin.

She passed by me to get in front of Uncle Benj. Oh, wow. They're talking to each other and their eyes seemed twinkling.

"Uh, Auntie..." I hemmed.

Nagtatawanan na sila ngayon. Luh, air na lang ako. Hangin.

It's almost lunch time, at gutom na ako. Si Cornelia rin, for sure. Pero parehas kaming 'di pinapansin ni Auntie.

Tinanggal ko ang apron ko. Tinapik ko ang balikat ni Auntie para magpaalam na lalabas ako. It would be rude if I just left without notice.

"I'll just buy lunch, Auntie." Tinanguan lamang niya ako. Nasa labas na ako nang may maalala. So naglakad ako nang paatras. "Also, Auntie, tomorrow ay bibili po ako ng bike."

"Oo, sige, Snooki," mabilis na sagot ni Auntie.

"Mayroon akong bike na hindi na ginagamit," said Uncle Benj. "Gusto mo bang gamitin?"

Umiling ako at nahihiyang ngumiti. My hands went into frenzy doing dismissive shake. "Ah, hindi na po. Bibili na lang po ako. Hehe."

"Hindi ko na rin iyon nagagamit. Sayang naman at naluluma sa bahay. Do you want me to paint it pink?" biro ni Uncle.

No, Uncle Benj. I want you to glaze diamonds on it so that I'd sparkle along the streets.

"Kayo po, Uncle." Tipid akong ngumiti, shy pa rin.

"Mabuti. Hayaan mo't bukas ipadadala ko iyon sa pamangkin kong si Archer dito."

Oh? My? Gosh?

Kaya ka pala gwapo, Uncle Benj! Aba't magaling din talagang pumili itong si Auntie? Kaya niya pala nasabing may hitsura talaga si Archer kasi bet niya ang tiyuhin nito?

Oh, Tonette!

Inayos ko ang buhok ko sa likod ng tenga ko. At mahinhin na ring humalakhak. "Okay, Uncle. Tomorrow, I'll wait for it. Thank you."

Shocks, anong isusuot ko para bukas? Tomorrow's a big day! Ready na ang mamon kong puso na magmahal, at ready na rin akong mahalin.

Salamat, Cornelia. You're truly my best lizard friend.