Golden Love

"Snooki! Why are you Live on social media trying to sell your heart?!" asked Jules over the phone.

"Ah!" I laughed. "Viewer ba kita? Pa-mine na lang if you want."

"What?!"

"Joke lang. 'Wag mong i-mine, hinihintay ko kasi si Archer."

Well, it's a Saturday night and I didn't have anything for dessert after I ate dinner. So, what was I supposed to do, then?

"The guy you were on a date with?" she asked and I only groaned.Binabasa ko kasi ang comments ng friends at tinatanong kung magkano raw. Aw,they're all so supportive!

"Snooki!"

"Huh, what?" Tumawa ako. "Mas grumpy ka pa sa mga morning viewers ko sa Pinas—yes, guys, pinsan ko kausap ko—what? No, she's not available anymore. Sad," I said when I read a comment asking about Jules.

Lumayo ako nang konti sa camera at bumulong sa phone ko, "Pero oo, Jules. Si Archer. Search mo, Archer Marsden. Akin 'yan, ha."

"Na-search na siya ni Saige kahapon."

"Wait? Already? 'Di ko kaya binigay surname niya kahapon!"

"Yeah, we don't really need you to say it to find out. Also, magtigil ka na sa Live mo!"

Binalik ko ang mukha ko sa tapat ng camera at nagpa-cute. Oooh, dumadami pa rin ang viewers ko. I giggled at the viewers count. Kapag na-brokenhearted ako rito sa New York, mag-aartista na lang ako when I get back in Manila. I'd have my Lolo Gustin pull all the strings he could.

"Guys," sabi ko sa camera. "Dahil wala akong mapili na buyer, bye na—oo, mapili talaga ako!" kunwari kong pagsusungit dahil sa isang comment. Humalakhak ako pagkatapos.

Nang balikan ko ang phone ko para kay Jules, wala na pala siya sa kabilang linya. What a snob!

Binagsak ko ang katawan ko sa couch. I exhaled loudly because of boredom. I wasn't feeling sleepy at all because it's just ten in the evening!

One may say that I am in New York, and there are lots of things to do outside, but I don't wanna! Baka mapakain lang ulit ako sa labas. Mahina ako sa ganoong tukso!

Humiga ako nang tuluyan sa couch at itinaas sa ere ang paa ko. Naisip ko ang mga bagay na hindi naman dapat isipin, all because I was bored.

One, hindi ba mahilig mag-online sa social media si Archer? Sayang naman iyong Live ko. Nagkulot pa naman ako ng buhok.

Two, ano kaya ang ginagawa ni Auntie ngayon? Baka pwede ko siyang gambalai—that's it!

Outside clothes made their way to the beautiful yours truly moi. After putting my combat boots on, I was already sprinting on the way out. And, oof! My keys!

I made loud thuds as my boots hastily fell on each step of the stairs. After reaching the bottom, I gripped on the railing and swung my body so I could do a flawless U-turn. Sa gilid kasi ng hagdan naka-park ang bike ko.

"We built this city," mahina kong kanta habang inaayos ang bike ko palabas ng apartment. "We built this city on rock and roll!"

I hopped on my bike and started pedaling my way to nowhere.

Pinorma ko ang isa kong kamay para gumawa ng rock 'n roll gesture at kumanta sa gilid ng daan. "Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty!!!"

Napatigil ako sa pagkanta nang masilaw ang mata ko sa headlight ng isang sasakyan. Meanie!

I arrived at a near convenience store to grab beers and chips. I had no luxury to take my time in the store because if I would, then my kainuman might already be asleep before I even get back.

The bottles and chips went into my bike basket and off I went back home, straight in front of Auntie Tonette's door. Mula sa ilalim ng pinto ay kita ko ang bukas na ilaw sa loob.

"Auntie! It's me, your employee of the day every day, Snooki." I knocked on the door using my elbow.

"What?" I heard her confused distant voice. She's probably in her kitchen. Tonette liked to cook, like, a lot.

"Can I come in? You're cooking again, aren't you?"

Auntie yelled something inaudible. I still waited behind her door, with Mr. Beers et al. on my hand. Well, I just couldn't come in without permission! She might have a boyfriend over, I couldn't risk my innocent eyes.

Nang binuksan ni Auntie ay tila hinihingal pa siya. Oh, bless her old heart.

"So, what are we having?" I asked, beaming.

"Hindi naka-lock ang pinto, Snooki." Inilingan ako ni Auntie. Naglakad siya papasok at sumunod ako. "Kung bakit ba 'di ka na lang pumasok na bata ka."

Nilingon niya pabalik ang mga hawak ko. Nagtaas-baba ako ng kilay.

"Tara, Auntie, sa rooftop tayo. Inuman!" I said giddily, waggling my shoulders. Itinaas ko pa ang mga hawak kong goods.

"Gabi na, pagagalitan tayo ng may-ari ng building."

Sinundan ko si Auntie sa kitchen area niya. Sabi na, e! May mabango akong naamoy mula sa labas pa lang.

"Huh? Eh 'di ba, kayo po ang may-ari?"

"Oo, kaya pagagalitan kita, Snooki."

Nangiti ako. Nilapag ko ang mga hawak ko sa countertop para masundot ang tagiliran ni Auntie. "Yie, si Auntie! Nagfe-flex ka lang na ikaw ang reyna ng apartment complex na ito, e!"

Nilipat ni Auntie ang niluluto niyang fish something sa plato mula sa pan. Tamad niya akong tinanong, "Naghapunan ka na ba?"

"Yas! Ready na po sa inuman. Sige na kasi, Auntie! Ngayon lang 'to, I swear!"

I wasn't an alcoholic, to my defense. I was just really bored. And I wanted to socialize but I didn't have anyone except Auntie. Well, I did have friends who lived here in New York, but if I hung out with them then I'd defeat my purpose of living here incognito.

"Let's go na, sis! Closed naman ang Daily Bloom tomorrow, Auntie."

"May kliyente akong kakausapin bukas, Snooki. Umaga iyon, baka hindi ako magising."

"'Di yan! Magigising ka po no'n, syempre, di mo pa time! Tara na, Auntie."

Luminga ako para hanapin ang coat niya. Nakasabit iyon sa likod ng pinto. Tumakbo ako para kunin iyon, at pagkabalik naman ay ipinatong ko 'yon sa likod ni Auntie. I smiled sheepishly.

"Pwease?"

I made fish lips and sported a shy kitten eyes. Auntie sighed and nodded as if agreeing was her only choice. Dumila ako nang magwagi. Yas! Walwalan na diz!

It was my first time going to the rooftop. Sa balcony kasi ako nagsasampay after kong maglaba. Yeah, I knew what everyone else was thinking! I could do my own laundry, you know!

And after how many years—because Tonette took forever to climb up the stairs—we're finally settled on the rooftop. With blankets and pillows on the ground, and us under the undiscovered skies.

"We are two lovely ladies in the morning. And tonight, we drink beers," I announced. Itinaas ko ang hawak kong bote para sa unang tagay. "Cheers, Auntie!"

Humalakhak si Auntie at itinaas na rin ang bote niya. "Cheers, Snooki."

Naramdaman ko ang pagbaba ng tamis-pait sa lalamunan ko. I exhaled a scent of alcohol, then I was done for a minute.

"So, Auntie. Anong score sa inyo ni Uncle Benj?" I wrinkled my nose at her, ready nang kiligin.

Ipinasantabi niya ang beer bottle sa gilid niya. Pinagkita niya ang pareho niyang kamay sa ibabaw ng unan na nasa hita niya at saka pinaglaruan iyon.

"Benjamin is my best friend," she said before pausing.

"And...?" I prodded my head to motivate her.

"Nothing else, Snooki. I am an old woman already. It's best to think of the flowers as much as I can. It's my life now and forever."

"Luh, si Auntie?" I made a face. "Hindi 'yan! Ganito, reto mo po ako kay Archer tapos tutulungan kita kay Uncle Benj. Sounds like a plan?"

She scoffed. What, getting a little too Jerry over here, are we? Tinaas niya ang isa niyang kilay. "Aba'y dapat siya ang tinutulungan mo sa akin!"

Nakiliti ang tainga ko sa sinabi ni Auntie. Humagikhik ako sa pagpapakipot niya. "Now, don't be too difficult, Auntie! We're new romantics here, hello?"

"I'm sixty-two, I don't know what you're talking about, Snooki."

Lumagok ako ng beer, pagkatapos ay nagkomento, "Yeah, I forgot you're an old romantic. But it's just an age, Tonette! You have to remember, landi while you still can!"

Tinusok niya ang fish na niluto niya gamit ang tinidor at mahinhing kinain. Nang hindi nakatingin sa akin ay tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at pinagalitan.

"Ikaw, Snooki, ay 'wag mong nilalandi lamang si Archer, ha. Mabait na bata iyon, hindi dapat sinasaktan."

Lumipad ang palad ko sa dibdib and pretended to be shocked. "Whaaat? 'Di ko po kaya siya nilalandi!" Napanguso ako. "Well, slight. But I don't landi for fling. I really like him, and I only landi for potential love. Ngayon lang kaya ako nagka-crush nang ganito, Auntie. Iyong para akong binabaliw ng ideya niya!"

Niyugyog ko si Auntie at umiyak nang walang luha. "Aaahh! Auntie, binabaliw ako ni Archer! Pagalitan mo po siyaaahhh!"

Nakita kong nahulog iyong tinusok niyang fish sa plato dahil sa ginawa ko. Nahihiya akong ngumiti at dumila.

"That's the thing, Snooki, you might only like him because of your idea of him."

Mahina kong tinampal ang binti ni Auntie at saka nagmukmok. "Sungit naman."

Lumagok pa ako ng beer. Nang magsawa ay nilagyan ko ng unan ang lap ni Auntie at doon ko hiniga ang ulo ko.

"So, what's Archer really like ba, Auntie? He's quiet kasi kapag kaharap ako. I don't know if I am boring him, or what?" I propped my elbow to elevate my body a little to clearly study Auntie. Frowning, I asked, "Auntie, am I boring?"

"No, Snooki. You're loud. Very."

"Eh, bakit ang tahimik ni Archer? Dahil po ba I'm loud? Should I tone down a bit?" I asked, hopeful for a bit of nice advice.

Inayos ni Auntie ang ulo ko para maihiga ulit sa unan. Hinaplos niya ang buhok ko at tila dinapuan ako ng antok. Tulugan ko na kaya si Auntie rito?

"Archer has always been like that. Tahimik na bata simula noon. Siguro'y bunga ng pambu-bully sa kaniya noong bata."

"What? He was bullied?!"

Muli akong napaupo sa nalaman. Anger immediately sparked in my chest.

Auntie nodded. "We never knew why. Archer wasn't open to it then and even until now. His family only understood and loved him the best way they could. And thankfully, he managed to come out as successful as he was today. But his past was always here, Snooki. He's a special boy to your Uncle Benj, even to me and Jerry."

I carefully acknowledged what I heard with a nod.

"But at work, Auntie, was he good? He's a young boss, I always wondered how he was in that character."

"Oh, don't worry, he definitely looks like an alpha at work," sagot ni Auntie nang may kasamang halakhak.

I sighed, relieved a little. Bullying has always been a sensitive topic, yet it should still be talked about. Dimmed persona exists in the deeper core of the soul up until the shallow part of anyone's being. And while as young as a child, the heart should stay as pure, and only grow old as warm and tender the way it is meant.

And to all the bullies, I hope you receive the love that will make you share the same kind to others. And I really hope it's soon.

Inubos ko ang natitira sa bukas na bote kong beer, at pagkatapos ay nagsimula na sa pangalawa. Napangalahati ko kaagad ito dahil kailangan talaga ng sistema ko ngayon dahil sa nalaman!

"Now I like him even more. To think that he didn't morph into some kind of monster to continue the cycle just to, in a way, get illogically even with the world was just hnggg~"

The stars above winked sporadically, as if they're all agreeing with my feelings. With the alcohol in my system, the celestial bodies doubled before my eyes and my world was once again magnificent as ever. Beautiful.

"Archer was always good. Tahimik magmahal. He loves his family so much, lalo na ang mga ate niya. Ganoon din sila sa kanya, dahil bunso. Kung ipakikilala ka ni Archer sa mga kapatid niya ay maghanda ka na."

"Hmm? Why po? They'll like me, for sure!" I beamed. Pero mabilis akong natauhan. "Eh, teka lang kasi, Auntie! Hindi pa nga kami, e. But I will take it as your support to me and my feelings!"

Gumulong ako para dumapa at ngitian si Auntie. Nakadantay ang baba ko sa palad habang ang siko ko naman ay nakatungkod sa unan.

"And in return, I'll help you and Uncle Benj! It will be a very shiny and happy forever, if you ask me!"

Malungkot na umiling si Auntie. I couldn't help but frown, too.

"I just wonder if I am already old for love. I think it's too late for it. I had all the fun while I was young, Snooki. I enjoyed it while it was both cruel and best. I am fine now with my old heart like this."

"What? Tonette!" suway ko. I gently palmed both of her cheeks, but with slight pressure so that her lips looked like that of a fish. "Listen to me, alright?"

I sighed. She nodded, her face was still in between my palms. "Benjamin is old, you are old. You both are old."

Kumunot ang noo ni Auntie at marahan niyang tinampal paalis ang mga kamay ko.

"Wait lang, Auntie. 'Di pa tapos ang speech ko! 'Di po ako nanlalait, pramis!" I cackled.

Napatungga tuloy si Auntie ng beer. Atta girl!

"Auntie, what I was trying to say was that both of you may be old but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't love now. No one dictates you not to. Young love is sweet yet fleeting, but old love is golden and persevering."

Niligaw niya ang tingin sa kalawakan at tila napaisip. I found her hands so I could give it a one tight grip.

"I adore a love that begins, but I most admire a love that's ceaseless, and it is only ceaseless if it stays until everything grows old yet the feelings of the heart remain brand new."

So, if it seems only right, then love whenever.