How Snooki Met Manhattan

The first thing I did when I got to NYC, after the grueling twenty hours of travel time, was to eat a burger.

I wasn't one to lose over a jet lag. Jet lag's a joke. I loved flying, and most human creatures were just weak. Eh. I'm not sorry for speaking the truth.

Habang kumakain ng ice cream, hinihila ko ang maleta kong nag-i-stroll sa Times Square. Clearly, 'di ako nakapag-isip nang maayos sa buhay kasi kung bakit ba naman lakwatsa agad ang inatupag ko imbes na mag-settle muna sa apartment.

Oh, that's right. I didn't know where my apartment was, specifically. I had it on my phone, of course, but my battery's dead. Hehe! My bad.

"Watch it, watch it!" I chanted to myself. Shocks! Snooki, you're a mess. Iyang maleta mo ingatan mo!

Sobrang daming tao pero aware naman ako na ganito talaga rito. 'Di na bago sa 'kin ang lugar, I've been here a couple of times already. But today's new because I was all alone. Like a lost little kid—except not really lost.

"Snooki, you're gonna find yourself here," sabi ko sa sarili ko. I had a dreamy and theatrical smile as the city and its people consumed me.

Aaand... naglakad na ulit ako.

The music of Times Square consisted of honking taxis, pedestrian quarreling over petty stuff, and the contribution of the amazing street musicians.

If I looked above, I'd see screens everywhere. Punong-puno ng adverts ang screens. Mula sa mga pelikula, brands ng damit, palabas ng mga pagkain, nandoon iyan lahat sa mga screen.

Naghulog ako ng dollar bill sa nakabukas na case ng music instrument. Iyong musician na katapat noon ay ngumiti sa akin. I grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

"Way to go!" sabi ko pa. "You're stunning, you're amazing! Don't let your good music die down!"

Lumaki ang ngiti niya habang kumakanta. Oh, she really was wonderful.

Aaand... off I went again.

Iniisip ko kung paano ako makakapunta sa apartment na nirentahan ko online noong nasa Pinas pa ako. Though my Tita Vivien mostly arranged it for me, my auntie that's a real estate broker. There's no easy way in NYC that's handed off to anyone in a snap, but I was one lucky loaf of bread because I had contacts of the best people.

Itinapon ko ang tissue na ipinanghawak ko sa ice cream ko kanina na ngayo'y ubos ko na. Suddenly without it, I felt like I was back to reality.

I checked my charging phone in my bag. Oks! It's on na, I could contact whoever hero could save my day, which was Vie right now, another girl cousin.

"Hello, favorite cousin for today!" bati ko pagkasagot niya.

"What? Why are you annoying all of us?" she deadpanned.

"Why the sour mood, eh may love life ka na nga?" I rolled my eyes. Umupo ako sa bakanteng street bench. "Anyway! I have a question to ask."

"Hmm..." she groaned. Wow, what a mood!

"Oops, sorry, busy ba kayo ni Jerrick mag-ano?" I bit my lips to suppress a snicker.

"What!" Napapikit ang isa kong mata at inilayo ko saglit ang phone ko sa tainga. What a denial queen. "Anong mag-ano?! We're still at the office!"

"Oh, so you're doing it at the office? Or do you wait till you get home?" Napataas ang kilay ko out of curiosity.

"What the heck?" Again, nilayo ko ang phone ko. "Snooks! Ano bang kailangan mo nang mapatay na kita? I mean the call."

This time I really snickered. Gusto ko lang siyang asarin 'cause I miss them girls all the time. Also, I knew that she's still a virgin. Jerrick wouldn't-couldn't touch her until their marriage.

"Okay, ito na ang tanong ko!" I cleared my throat. "Does black make me look fat?"

"Ano? I'm sorry, pakiulit, please? Parang mali 'yong narinig kong tanong. Parang walang kwenta?"

"It has kwenta! But okay, whatever. Do you know of any jobs here in NYC? Do you think I should take a bodyguard job? Because I think I'll like it."

I like protecting people, y'know. It feels fascinating to guard something on their places, keeping them safe and sound. Parang walang sense pero meron 'yan isipin mo lang.

"Why are you being annoying? That's my title," she said, I could sense by her tone that she's pouting.

"Touché. Okay, uwian na lang kita ng white I heart NY shirt. I won't forget it. Love 'ya, sweet bun, sunshine ni Jerrick hanggang mamatay, ah yeah!"

Nagbaba ng pasahero ang taxi sa tapat ko. Agad ko iyong tinakbo para ako naman ang makasakay.

"Hi, please take me to 230 East, 52nd Street," I said followed by the specifics. "Thank you."

Nang umandar ang taxi, I thought, hey, maybe pwede akong maging taxi driver?! Hmm.

I wanted a job with mobility and one that's outside the world, I'm already tired of an office job. Paperworks here, meeting there, aurgh! It's so boring because I needed to be a responsible young adult.

Gusto ko kayang maging reckless! Because responsibly reckless equals Snooki. The good stuff was boring.

I mean, pwede ka namang maging fun person while being kind, gorgeous, crucially aware of what's happening around the world, and—oh, I'm here.

The taxi pulled over to my brand-new neighborhood, in front of my brand-new apartment on a brand-new day.

Nagbayad ako ng less than five dollars, 'di ko na kinuha ang change because, hey, I'm Snooki. Your resident blooming girl from this day on. I'll bring the garden to you just so you could smile. So ayon nga, bye five dollars, hello apartment!

Umalis na ang taxi sa likuran ko. Inikot ko ang mata sa bago kong neighborhood. Sa gilid ng sidewalks ay maraming nakatayong puno at sa ilalim naman noon ay mga nakagaraheng sasakyan.

Some walls of the buildings here were of sandstone, specifically brownstone. It's the kind we see in movies. Pero iyong akin ay typical lang, and what's my definition of typical building? I don't know? Marami pa akong hindi alam sa buhay, don't pressure me. My book of life was not entitled as Snooki And Her List Of All Things She Doesn't Know Of.

It'd be: How to Rock Life as Told By Snooki Henilza, Your Resident Blooming Girl.

Luminga muna ako sa magkabilang gilid ko sa sidewalk. Ready na kasi akong mabangga ng leading man ko sa buhay. Tapos bubukas itong maleta ko at sabay naming pupulutin ang mga kumalat kong gamit.

Ay! Kaso naka-lock pala itong maleta ko. Shocks, wait. Need ko bang buksan muna?

Naisip kong 'wag na lang siguro, kaso paano maglalapat ang kamay namin 'pag sabay na naming sinubukang pulutin ang black sleeveless dress ko?

Paano magtatama ang mga tingin namin tapos mahihiyang iiwas pero ang mga kamay namin ay naiwan pa ring magkalapat? Paano ang lahat ng iyan kung naka-lock ang maleta ko?

I definitely needed to open it now. Panahon na para magka-love life. Hindi rin biro ang magka-titulo na no boyfriend since birth, 'no.

Naghintay naman ako pagkatapos kong i-unlock. I was waiting for the right timing but wala, eh. Parang walang gustong bumangga sa 'kin? Why? How's that even possible?!

Was it because it's a Sunday today? It has to have a reason, right? Okay, I'm blaming it on the day. I'll try again next time.

Nag-doorbell ako sa main entrance ng one, two... five-storey apartment building ko. And here I had Tonette welcoming me with a pleasant smile. Of course, she'd be pleased, I'll be her tenant or whatever.

"Kumusta ang byahe?" mabait niyang tanong. Yes, Auntie Tonette's a Filipina.

"Maayos naman po." I smiled back. "What floor po ulit ako?"

"Fourth floor, hija. Mabigat iyang maleta mo, tatawag ako ng tutulong sa iyo."

"Ah! Hindi na po, 'di na!" Nahihiya akong tumawa. "Kaya 'to ng muscles ko. Legit po."

"Legit?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Tonette, na ipinagtaka ko rin.

"Yes po, legitimately true, real, and genuine." I beamed. "Legit."

Umiiling siyang ngumiti at inabot sa akin ang susi ko. "Sabihan mo lang ako kung may kailangan ka."

Yes, Tonette, lalaki.

"Ah, sige po." I giggled shyly. "Tataas na po ako. Salamat."

I carefully climbed the stairs, with my luggage pounding at each step because it was indeed heavy.

After I reached my room, beautifully panting, I took a quick glance around. It's a simple one-bedroom apartment with a little space for the living area, a bathroom, and a kitchenette. It's how I just liked it.

Nakakatakot kaya kapag malaki ang lugar tapos mag-isa ka lang. Isa pa, 'di ko iyon kailangan dahil on a budget ako. I signed a lease for twelve months but who knew what's gonna happen? I didn't know what's gonna happen. Pwedeng magtagal ako rito more than a year, pwedeng umalis ng less than that.

Like I said, I'll just wing things.

I'll win in life if I won't let myself get stressed out over petty things. I made a mistake? I'll learn, correct it, and move on. I made a worse move? I'll cry about it and carry on. I made a fool out of myself? It's fine, I'm a part-time clown on Earth.

So you see, it's all in the mindset. Hangga't 'di mo ikamamatay, 'wag mong kagalitan nang matagal. It's the secret recipe, and people should take notes.

Ah, I should be a writer. I have lots of wisdom or whatever.

Taking a once-over at my new place again, I said to myself, "Snooki, you're going to wing this! Why? Because you're the best, that's why!"

I smiled broadly in a mirror, then it faded slowly. Damn, I talk to myself a lot these days. Maybe I should get a new best friend.

Yup, I definitely should. Order ako siguro mamaya online.

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Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think? 

And I may or may have done a tiny bit of minor editing (bc the past version of me is a cringy-arse writer who didn't proofread before publishing *i svck, i know*) so in-line comments are gone. With that being said, I'd totally appreciate it if you could maybe, just maybe, replace it with new ones? ok? yes? ok, you rock! 🥺🤘