I presumed I had molded into the
way society sees me able.
It was so untrue of me to assume so,
That I could deceive them,
Make them accept that,
I have buried my disgraceful self
into my depths, so deep
that neither could I locate it
to maintain their content.

I learned how to smile,
I learned to be blithe,
Despite knowing that I was missing,
Because I had buried a part deep inside.

I was struggling so much.
Perhaps not for those people whose purpose
of existence is solely for picking
out imperfections and fractures
even from the perfected masterpieces.
But it was me, who I was straining for.

After constant sacrifices and refinements,
Upon my strides and my sways,
I deluded myself by the fact that
all was fine, as a way,
To give up trying.

All was going fine until a few moons ago,
My own relations revealed their displeasure,
About my curves and tones.
It wasn't anything new,
I had already gotten used to
being shamed and calling names.

I felt my heart shatter into quite some pieces.
Not because of being called a disgrace,
But having to learn that it was all waste.
All of my tribulations and manners down the drain.

I quietly made my way into my room,
To burst open like an open hydrant,
In the safety of my four walls.
Because it was not a possibility to
present them my new fault.
But I caught myself.

Mirrors were close to none in there because
I didn't want to see the household's disgrace.
But this time I stood there examining,
And studying my faults, curves, and mistakes.

I never could make out.
Make out my faults,
I got too involved into my fallacy.
How was it wrong, I questioned,
Wrong to sway hips, to put lipsticks?
I never understood society, if only I could be a wallflower.
But it's no more going to be hate.
Not the hate from me to myself,

How could you make me hate my shades?!
Those are mine and only mine to be changed.
I'll love myself, like the colors of rainbow
I'll love myself, throughout eternity,
I'll love myself like a maniac.
And you wont be able to dominate.

I rose my chin and pledged to not bend.
Not anymore to your demand.
I wrote this poem to tell me,
that I must know,
It's who I'm meant to be;
A colorful rainbow

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YOU ALL....BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE!!!

I'VE BEEN WAITING TO PUBLISH THIS FOR SO LONG...I HAD SPECIALLY SAVED THIS ONE FOR THIS MONTH, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS :)

PS. This one came 1st in a poetry award by heather_community 's sunfloro awards under diverse lit category!!! I am so happyyyyy