Feeling the waters rising
Up my chest, my throat
Reaching to drown me
In its depth, trying to make me bloat,
Feeling the walls shaking
On their demeaning foundations
And ultimately threatening to fall down,
I believe.

Picking that revolver,
Facing that rope I tied to my fan,
Peering down at the ground below, from eight floors above,
I feel them luring me towards their poisonous pleasure,
I ask.

I ask as to what came up
That I acquired the urge to give up.
If I were to, then why not sooner? Why not later?
Why at this dreaded hour of this day,
My soul has wished to leave me and escape to some other body?
I fight.

I fight for my life,
I move my hands in any direction possible to keep me afloat,
I build up my walls, stronger than before,
I wave off the dreaded death waiting outside my window.

And every passing day
I wear off the hungry death,
I believe in me,
That there's a road ahead to glory
To sucess, to peace, to sanity.
The road leading me to my better part of my rotting rainbow of a life,
I believe its worth the wait,
So why not hold on to life longer,
Why not wade of the almighty death,
And be victorious, be mightier,
To defeat death another day yet again?

After crying to sleep,
And waking up to heartbreaks.
Getting tired of pretending,
Tired of putting up my façade,
I wished to let it go
Wished to let me go.

But I greeded for air,
I swam my way up
Gulping air to fill my hungry lungs,
I wont let me go.
I'll put my faith on believing.
Believing there lie something auspicious worth the wait,
Worth the pain ,
The sacrifice, the ache.

My belief is a morphing inexistent reality,
One day its the rising sun from the horizon,
The other it's setting off into the seas.
One day the new year
The other just me.
One day my memories
The other the future holding some more of it.

Belief is the only thing keeping me going you see.
If I cease to believe,
I might drown into my water's threatening tranquility.
But because I greed for air and life,
I believe and deceive death
And I fight and live further more.