The door opened with a whisper, and you were enveloped by a burst of warm air.

You slipped in, careful to close the door gently, then sighed.

You had managed to somewhat tape yourself together by walking all the way into town and sipping coffee in the 24-hour café for the rest of the day, and only now were you ready to come back.

The skin on your arms prickled with gooseflesh. It was so warm inside compared to the nighttime streets of Hannam-dong, and the temperature change was sudden enough to make your hairs stand on end.

You slipped out of the random pair of sandals you'd shoved your feet into when you had dramatically stormed out the door, and hung your keys on its hook. It was dark, so you flipped on a light and checked the clock on the wall.

2:47 a.m. Everybody should've been asleep by now.

Which was perfect, because you really weren't in the mood for chit-chat.

You started to make your way to your room, then stopped. Maybe you should take a quick detour to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

So, you took a right turn instead of a left, walked a bit more, opened a door, turned a corner, and then you saw it.

The light streaming onto the carpet right outside the kitchen.

You froze, hardly daring to breathe. Was somebody up? Although bedtimes were more of an approximation than a set time, everyone should've been catching Z's for a while now.

A thought occurred to you. Maybe somebody had just forgotten to turn it off before they tucked in.

Or, maybe a burglar had come to steal the numerous snacks in the pantry and had left the light on because they were mean or something.

Twenty-six different scenarios played out in your head, none of them involving an awake member. There were so many ways the light could've been left on. You shouldn't overthink it.

Just take a peek, you told yourself. If you didn't like what you saw, go to bed thirsty. It's not the end of the world.

So, you took a deep breath, and poked your head in.

The kitchen was empty.

You sighed in relief, then chuckled lightly. Wow, all that worrying for nothing. Good going, Y/N.

You walked inside, grabbed a glass from the rack, then slid it into the water machine.

When the water began to flow, you flinched. Was the machine always this loud?

Oh, well. Sounds were always louder at night, and the kitchen was relatively far from the bedrooms. Nobody will hear you.

You took the glass out when it was filled to your liking and took a sip.

Mmm. It was really refreshing after all that coffee you had. You finished it, put the cup away, then turned to leave.

And found Jungkook staring at you from the table at the other end of the room.

Jungkook.

You sucked in a breath to scream, then stopped yourself because that was clearly a dumb thing to do at two in the morning.

Instead, you just stared back at him and screamed in your head.

What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be asleep? How could you've missed him when you looked around? And why?

Why him, of all the people who could've caught you??

He was the first one to tear his eyes away. Without looking at you, he said, "U-um, hey."

You jumped. You weren't expecting him to be this loud. Then again, sounds were always louder at night.

But you had also jumped because of his tone.

He sounded so unsure of himself, so freaking smol, which was totally different from how he had always acted around you and kind of freaked you out.

'Twas a very interesting day for Park Y/N, indeed.

The silence grew heavier as you took longer to respond. Finally, once the awkwardness was beginning to suffocating you, you opened your mouth.

And realized that you had totally forgotten what he just said.

Ha...

"W-what did you say?" you asked, dying a little with every uttered syllable.

God, your urge to melt into the wall was stronger than ever.

He chuckled so softly that it almost didn't happen. "I just said 'hey.'"

"Oh." You cleared your throat, realizing how croaky you sounded. "Um. Hey."

The silence stretched on, and you stared at your toenails for the longest time until you heard a noise. A noise that you knew all too well.

It was the sound of someone trying to hold back a sob.

You quickly pressed a hand to your mouth, embarrassed that you had been getting emotional without realizing it, but soon discovered that you weren't the one making the sound.

Swallowing, you glanced up.

His face was buried in his hands, elbows propped against the table, and his body shook slightly.

You literally hurt just by watching.

Still, you bit your lip. What were you supposed to do?

Then you mentally slapped yourself for hesitating and walked over.

"Hey... a-are you okay?" You winced at how tentative you sounded.

He began to say something in barely a whisper, and you had to quickly lean down to catch it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I don't... I don't know what... I..."

He paused to take a deep breath, then barked a sudden, low laugh, nearly making you jump out of your skin.

Jungkook looked up at you, and you dared to look back. His eyes were rimmed with red, dark circles caressed his lower lids, and his eyelashes were wet.

You wondered how you compared.

"You must think I'm pathetic, don't you?" he said in that bare whisper again, still looking up at you from under his lashes. "Weak. Faulty. Useless. Broken beyond repair. And you'd be right. I-"

"No."

You'd said it in a soft voice, but you were firm. "No, that's where I have to stop you. You're not weak. You're not useless, or faulty, or any of the other things you said about yourself."

You took in a slightly shaky breath. "It's... it's all a misunderstanding. I thought about it for a while, and then I realized. I saw it one way, you saw it another, and now we're clashing because we're looking at different pages. That says nothing about who you, or me, or any of us are as a person."

You swallowed, hoping to clear the lump in your throat. You were trying to comfort him, but this was a hard topic to admit to yourself.

Everything you were saying was basically hypocritical, and it was difficult to acknowledge all of your own faults, especially in a situation and concerning a topic like this.

Maybe you should start listening to yourself talk.

After all, how could you hope to understand anybody if you didn't even understand yourself?

"Y/N," Jungkook began, then pursed his lips and stayed silent for a moment. You waited for him to continue.

"Y/N, I..." He dropped his gaze to the tabletop. "I don't know what to do. I can't seem to separate fact from fiction, I can't understand- I... I can't get over it. I look okay, but I'm not, not inside. I... I just... can't. W-what do I do?"

You thought about that. It was kind of like trying to give somebody directions to a place you didn't know how to get to yourself.

Finally, you said: "I'm going to be honest with you... I don't know.

"But maybe that's okay.

"Maybe we can just... live with it. It will take some time, but we'll heal. I know we'll get through it somehow."

If only you believed yourself.

Jungkook looked up at you again, his doe-like eyes wide and glossy, and your heart clenched painfully.

Suddenly, so swiftly it was a blur, he reached out and took your hand, clutching it like it was his lifeline.

"Promise me," he whispered, barely even audible, "that we'll face this together. We only have each other in this, so we can't let go. Not now. We have to stick together, Y/N. Promise me."

You hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

You weren't going to let him go this time.

"We'll do our best to keep each other from going off the deep end," you said solemnly, squeezing his hand hard.

His lips quirked up just a bit, and then, like some unspoken agreement, you both fell into each other's arms, holding on as if the other was the only thing in the world worth holding onto.

***

"Okay, Kook, let me get this straight: you want to go out for a spin at 2- no, 3 in the morning, to the airport, for absolutely no reason? You aren't even going to fly anywhere, you're not gonna let anybody know, you have no backup plan... and you want to tow me along?"

"That's the idea, yeah. I'm still working out the finer bits."

You let out a breath. "This is reckless, even for you. What if we get lost, or you get recognized? What if you run over some poor guy and have to deal with that? What if we both die because you smash the car into a tree, or run off a bridge, or slam into some incredibly fat pedestrian? Wha-"

"Woah, calm down!" Jungkook smiled and put his hands on your shoulders. "We're going to be just fine. I promise."

"I want to look into your eyes and say, 'I believe you,' like in the movies, but I'd be lying."

He chuckled again. "You don't have to believe me, but know that I'll be very careful not to slam into any incredibly fat pedestrians."

You looked at his glowing face and pursed your lips. "Nothing I say is going to stop you from going, isn't it?"

"Nope."

You sighed. "Let me grab a jacket."

"Yes!"

A few moments later, you were strapped in the passenger's seat of Jungkook's car and hugging your jacket because you were too lazy to put it on. He was getting something inside, so you were alone for a bit.

His phone, which was sitting in a cupholder, lit up with a notification. Impulsively, you glanced over.

It was just a self-set notification reminding him to go to sleep if he hadn't (lol), but what made you freeze was the lock screen.

The silhouette of a person, perfect and filled in, against a starry night sky. The person was posing to look like they were holding up the enormous silver moon behind them, and sparkling grass grew from the bottom edge of the screen. You could almost hear the hum of distant waves and smell the sharp sea air.

The silhouette was Jungkook. Jeju Island, senior year. You took the picture.

What was this? Jungkook was never one to really dwell on these things. He lived in the moment, and moved on when it was over. Definitely not the nostalgic type.

Or... at least, you thought so.

You were unsure about a lot, but you were certain you knew him. That there was nothing more to uncover, that you had already discovered all there was to discover.

What more of Jeon Jungkook did you not know?

Without warning, the car door opened, making you jump.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," Jungkook said as he slid into the driver's seat. "I couldn't find the charger and had to dig through Yoongi hyung's room, and you know what happens if he gets woken up."

"Oh, haha. I-i-it's fine."

He was in the middle of adjusting the AC, but paused to look over at you. "Everything all right? Your voice is, like, three octaves higher than usual."

You cleared your throat, trying to calm your vocal chords. "Um... I-I just didn't notice you coming and got spooked when you opened the door."

Which, to be fair, was half of the truth.

He laughed lightly, then took his phone and plugged it in. Meanwhile, you sat as stiff as a board and stared straight ahead, still unrecovered from your discovery.

As smooth and silent as a snake, the car pulled out of the garage and started into town.

All was silent except for the low hum of the engine, the sound of air flowing out of the vents, and your own breathing.

But, strangely, this silence wasn't awkward at all.

You and Jungkook were sitting right next to each other, all alone and not saying a word, but the atmosphere was oddly comfortable.

Slowly, you started to relax, and after a while you found that all tension had left your body.

"You good now?"

You looked over and raised an eyebrow in question, but realized that he was looking at the road.

"Hm?" you said instead.

Jungkook glanced sideways at you for a second and smiled slightly. "Are you feeling better now? I noticed that you were all tense and wanted to give you a little space before I started a conversation."

You blinked, your brain temporarily losing the ability to form cohesive sentences.

He was being so considerate. He was respecting your boundaries. He was being so not himself, and it was kind of freaking you out.

"I-I guess so?" you said once you'd successfully forced your brain to work again. "I mean, I wasn't, uh, tense, you know, at all. Just, um, I guess I- wait, no, that's not- don't- I mean, ah..."

He laughed and waved a hand. "I get what you mean. No worries, though. I'm not taking it personally."

You smiled sheepishly, grateful that you didn't have to make a fool of yourself any longer.

"Shall I put on some music?" Jungkook asked after a bit of silence, while waiting at a stoplight for a lone pedestrian to cross. "I've got a great playlist that totally suits the mood."

You shrugged. "Why not?"

He pulled over to the side of the road and tapped around on his phone. "Okay. This one is called 'LaTe NiGht FeELs.'"

You peeked over at the screen. "What's up with the spelling?"

"I made it at 4 in the morning."

"That explains a lot."

It was silent for a few moments while Jungkook wrestled with Bluetooth.

"Ah! Look, I got it!" he exclaimed as the car screen lit up with the successful connection.

You bit back a chuckle at the childish action. "Good for you, Kookie."

Jungkook suddenly looked up and shot you a dazzling grin, and your heart skipped a beat (or three).

The light from the phone screen and car controls illuminated his features in a soft, tinted glow, and it made him look like an ethereal being.

The last time you saw him like this was on that one starry night, on a certain dew-sprinkled hilltop on Jeju Island.

You realized you were staring long enough to be creepy, so you smiled a little to tone down the awkwardness and tore your eyes away to look out the window.

Only a heartbeat passed before music started to float up into the air. You couldn't suppress a tiny giggle; the tunes were so fitting for the moment that it was practically cliché.

The car merged back onto the road, drove for a bit, and then you felt something.

You turned to see Jungkook's arm draped around your shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.

A million thoughts flashed through your head, but...

You couldn't deny that it felt, like, really nice.

Maybe you missed having physical contact with another human being. Maybe social recluses needed other people sometimes.

Or maybe you were just especially sensitive to the effects of oxytocin running through your brain.

Whatever it was, it made you lean into his touch and bury your face in your jacket to hide a smile.

You suspected Jungkook noticed the involuntary action anyway, because you saw his lips tug up the slightest bit in the corner of your eye.

Maybe, just maybe, you could start over again.

you make me beginnnnnn~~~~

I'm actually kind of proud of myself for updating this quickly in my current writer's-blocked-situation, hehe.

I hope you enjoyedddd. Don't forget to leave a voteeee, share if you liked ittttt, and comment freely lol I live for them-

💜 y'all :)