"Tonight, I'll send the glow of a firefly
to somewhere near your window.

"It's because I love you."

Your voice cracked, but you swallowed and continued.

"I remember our first kiss.

"I close my eyes whenever I can,
and it takes me to the farthest place.

"Just like letters in the sand
where waves just were,

"I feel you'll disappear to a faraway place.

"I'll always miss you.

"Miss you."

You eyes hurt while you sang, for some reason, but you didn't pay it any mind. Now that you were into the rhythm of the song, you wanted to finish it before Jungkook stopped you.

"All the words in my heart,
I can't show them to you.

"Because they say,

"I love you.

"How can I be so lucky,
to have met you, who's a blessing.

"If we were together now...

"How nice would it be."

You sniffed. Your nose was slightly running. Maybe you were sick after all. Anyway...

"Just like in the sand
where waves just were,

"I feel you'll disappear to a faraway place.

"I miss you again,
and miss you some more.

"All the words in my diary,
I can't show them to you.

"Because they say,

"I love you."

Your throat felt tight and your words felt thick and your eyes felt like they were on fire, for some reason, but you forced yourself to sing the last verse.

"Tonight, I'll send you the glow of a firefly,
to somewhere near your window.

"I hope it's a good dream."

Something warm and wet plopped onto your hand, and you looked down to see a tiny drop of water. Then, another one fell, and another, and you realized that you were crying.

Dang it. You were going to start making horrible guttural noises in a few moments, and then break into not-so-controlled sniveling, complete with choking sounds and the occasional body-wracking sob.

Why couldn't you be like those anime girls with pretty tears and cutely flushed cheeks and non-drippy-faucet-like noses?

Ugly crying is gross, ew.

You swiped at your eyes with the back of your hand and looked over at Jungkook. He seemed dead to the world. Which was good, because he couldn't see what a mess you were right now.

"Stupid tears," you muttered and angrily swiped at your eyes again. Why did they keep falling?

More importantly, why were they falling in the first place?

You were probably sick. You could have Wet-towel-itis, a terrible condition that usually affects people between the ages of -4 to 696 and is triggered by prolonged exposure to wet towels. Symptoms include runny noses and itchy, watery eyes, and the occasional outbreak of green and purple polka dots. Yeah.

Or maybe...

Maybe it was the song. The lyrics had hit too close to home for your liking. About remembering somebody and missing them? And loving them??

It was too much for you.

Especially with that "somebody" laying right on your freaking shoulder.

You should've chosen a better song. Like BLACKPINK's "Kill This Love," or something.

A wave of exhaustion washed over you without warning. All those hours that you stayed up editing statements for Big Hit were finally catching up to you, and your eyelids were getting harder to hold up with every passing second.

You stifled a yawn and turned to top of Jungkook's head, mindlessly playing with a few dark strands.

jakajjsja what shampoo did he use his hair was so soft-

His little snooze party looked fun. A few z's couldn't hurt.

You adjusted the comforter and wrapped the yellow throw blanket around your shoulders. Then, on second thought, wrapped it around Jungkook's shoulders as well.

The fluff of the throw tickled your cheek, but you were too tired to adjust it. Then, you looked over at him again.

"Goodnight, Kook," you murmured. Then, not fully aware of what you were doing, you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, rested your cheek on his freaking soft akaksjkskak hair, and closed your eyes.

You didn't stay awake long enough to hear him whisper "Goodnight" back.

----

The first thing you saw when you woke up was red.

You were a little confused, but then you opened your eyes and your vision was flooded with blinding bright white. You groaned and closed your eyes, and then you saw red again.

Oh. So the red was light coming through your eyelids, and the white was sunlight trying to ruin your day. Ugh.

Since you liked neither red or white, you rolled over with the intent to bury your face in the pillow and welcome sleep again.

"ah-OW!"

"Oh, look, sleeping beauty's awake."

"Nnggggh."

"You good?"

"Nnngggghhhh."

"You just fell off the bed, cupcake, stop acting like a zombie."

"Nnn-ugh."

You got up, squinting at your bright surroundings and stretching. Your bones made loud cracking noises, which was gross, but it felt soo good. Nothing like a good sleep to help you reset and refresh.

Wait, where was Jungkook?

"Koo..."

You stopped halfway and cleared your throat, since it sounded more like "Krnrnggghh" than what you were going for.

"Kook?" you tried again.

"Down here."

You looked around, but you didn't see him anywhere.

"Down where?"

"Other side of the bed."

You blinked, then dropped down to look under the bed. There were a few dust bunnies, but no Kook-bunnies.

"I don't see you under here," you said.

"No, I don't mean under it. I mean over here!"

You looked to the right, and, through the crack between the bed and the floor, saw Jungkook's face similarly pressed against the laminate.

You stood up and walked to the other side of the bed.

A couple blankets were spread on the ground to make a hasty nest, with a few pillows near the top and snack bags at the base. His phone was connected to a charger and a pair of earbuds (hAh no apples here), but they were off to the side. He was laying so that his feet were resting on the pillows and his head was near the chip bags, and a sketchbook was open in front of him.

"Hi, there."

"What are you doing, Jungkook?"

"Mm, I dunno. Chilling, I guess."

"But, like, why are you down here?"

"Because I respect you and know that you'd be uncomfortable to wake up in the same bed as me so I moved down here."

That was so cute what-

"You didn't have to," you said, fighting the tiny little smile threatening to make its way into your lips. "I wouldn't have freaked out."

"You totally would've. 100%."

"Cut me some slack, man," you said and rolled your eyes. "Anyway, can I join you?"

"Sure," Jungkook said, moving over to make some room for you. "You might have eraser shavings stuck to your butt afterwards, though."

You wrinkled your nose but sat down anyway, helping yourself to some snacks. Jungkook sketched away, and you watched over his shoulder. For a little while, the only thing you could hear was the sound of crunching snacks, pencil scratching against paper, and the AC quietly blowing cool air into the room.

"That's really good," you said after a few minutes, pointing at one of the sketches. It was a tiny rose, small and delicate, and your eyes kept wandering to the graphite flower even though there was nothing particularly special about it.

"That? Oh, thanks." The pencil stopped moving for a second. "I was hoping if you wouldn't notice that."

You glanced sideways at him. "Why?"

Jungkook kept his eyes on the paper, but the pencil stayed still. "Because, you know, it's... I was... n-nevermind."

"No, go on." You nudged his shoulder with your knee. "I want to know."

"Really, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?" you asked. "I mean, I don't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable or anything, but I can keep secrets and stuff."

"No, no, I just... I just don't want to make you uncomfortable by talking about it."

You blinked. "Not getting you."

"You know, drawing is a lot better with Troye Sivan."

"Uh-"

"TWICE too. They're so fun to jam to," he continued. "And Taeyang, and Tori Kelly, and Taeyeon. Why do a ton of good artists start with a T?"

"Uh-"

"Wanna listen?" Jungkook unplugged his phone from the charger and tapped around. "I made a bunch of playlists with a lot of my favorite artists and songs that're really good for chilling. I can play one right now."

"Uh-"

"Here." He held out the right earbud. "Put this on. I swear it's not that gross."

"Uh... okay."

You had a feeling he didn't want to talk about the rose drawing anymore.

You took the earbud and put it in your left ear. Melodic English words pumped through a few moments later. English was never your strong point, but, although you understood less than a third of all the words spoken (and it wasn't even a rap), you could understand why Jungkook liked it. You felt it, somehow, without even understanding the lyrics.

The genres were all over the place. Some were warm and cozy, some were soothing and serene, and some made you want to dance until your non-existent shoes wore out.

Most were calm, though, with soft beats and light melodies. Perfect for drawing and chilling, as Jungkook had said. You noticed that the first couple of songs had gentle guitars, either predominantly or in the background. You weren't sure why, but it sounded nice. They stopped after a while, though.

But this playlist... something about it was familiar. So, so familiar. You weren't sure why it felt that way, but it did. Like that one person in the store who looks scarily familiar, but you don't know why, how, or what their name was.

And, just like if you saw that person, you didn't say a word and hoped that Jungkook could somehow read your mind and bring it up so you didn't have to.

"I know you're thinking about the playlist."

Okay, you did NOT expect that to work.

"How did you know?" you asked.

"You were kind of stealing glances at the phone and then at me, and I just assumed it was because of my music choice," he shrugged. Wow, you really were easy to read. But that was a good thing, in this case.

"Yeah. It just sounds super familiar."

"Mhm..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's the one from back then."

"... what?"

"I knew you would do that."

"I-I'm sorry. Please continue."

"Um... so this is the same playlist that I played on... on the way to Jeju Island."

"Jeju Island?" Your eyes flicked to the picture frame for half a moment, but he noticed and followed your gaze.

"Yeah. That." Jungkook grinned weakly. "Do you remember it?"

"How could I forget?" you whispered, staring at the tiny grinning face of younger you.

💜✨💜✨💜✨💜✨💜✨💜✨💜
(inutm is my user but shortened because i couldn't fit the whole thing lol)

pls excuse this hot mess haha. it's the thought that counts, right?

but, like, i really appreciate each and every one of you! thx for being patient while i sort out my life.

i'll write more over winter break so i don't have to make (as many) excuses! 

💜