I could see how unhappy Jocelyn looked. After last night, I guess I went a little too far. I wasn’t the type of guy to be bossy and rude to women, my mom would have slapped me last night if she was here to see how horrible I was to her. I was just so upset after seeing her with Buck and they acted like they were ‘good’ friends.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“Sorry, sorry, oh you’re so sorry.” she sarcastically said. She scoffed, “I just want to slap you, Yuri! Everything was so different in Rome, why isn’t it now?”

I scratched my stubble cheek, “We know each other more well now.”

“No, I know you much better now. You were the one who kept your life a secret.” she said and I agreed.

“You like that Yuri better, the one who you didn’t know life.” I said.

“No, that Yuri was also filled with allot of secrets.” she said. She stood up and ran her hand threw her blonde brown ombre hair as she turned around, “I feel like I don’t know who you are.”

“Of course you do.” I said. “It’s still me, it’s still Yuri.”

“We’re always fighting now though.” she said. “Even as friends we hardly fought.”

I ran my hand threw my hair and looked down at her parent’s living room carpet. This was the exactly the thing I was worried about, what I was scared about. It was true though, we hardly fought and now that we’re together, it’s all we do it seems like. I know it’s my fault, I hid too many secrets. I always ruin thing. I ruined my parent’s relationship and I ruined my own. Jocelyn was a good girl and I was just a spoiled brat who’s trying to run away.

I ruined everything like I knew I would.

I stood up from the couch, “I have ruined everything, I know I have.”

She turned and looked up at me, “No, Yuri I didn’t mean to make you—“

“I have though.” I said. “I should have just kept my feelings locked up. Look where we are now. I leave in a month, I won’t be making you unhappy much longer.”

“Stop that!” she coldly said as she looked up at me. She put her arms around my waist tightly, “I don’t want you out of my life, Yuri. I just want you to stop thinking everything can go your way. Last night, you weren’t yourself. You never spoke to me like that to me before.”

“I just hate seeing him around you.” I said. “I am worried you might realize he’s better than me. He has hurt you far less than I have.”

She snorted, “He sure hasn’t, but there’s no other Yuri Abramov out there but you. My big head, thick eyebrows, crazy, spoiled, germaphobe, cute boyfriend who will always be my best friend.” She stood up on the palm of her feet and wrapped her arms around my neck as she hugged me. Those words didn’t really comfort me because knowing I’m a screw up, I knew this wasn’t the last time she’ll be angry with me.

*

I walked into the portrait studios, Jocelyn behind me who was less happy to be here. Lauren looked at me and squealed, running over, and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. She might as well should have put me in a choke hold with her grip. I could feel the awkwardness in the air with Jocelyn behind me. I asked how the talk with Lauren last week was and all she said was good and as long as she can be here, she’s fine but I think after what happened over the weekend made her more dislike today.

I put my hands on Lauren waist and pulled her off me. She was dressed in a white long sleeve laced dressed with white pumps. Her dark hair was in big loose curls in a Bohemian hairstyle and her makeup was dark. She looked so much like a model though. Beautiful as one.

“This will not take too long, right?” I asked.

“Any kind of rush?” she asked.

“No, just wondering.” I asked.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a man, “Uncle Henry, this is Yuri. Yuri, this is my uncle Henry.”

We shook each other hands, “Nice to meet you, Yuri.” he said. “In that changing room, there should be an outfit.”

“I have to change?” I asked.

“Yes.” Lauren said excitedly. “We have to match and I picked out the perfect outfit. So go!” she said as she pushed me towards the direction of the changing room.

JOCELYN

Lauren turned to me with a hard look on her face at first before she forced a smile on her face. She asked her uncle for his camera, “I wanna show her the pictures we’ve taken before Yuri arrived.”

“Alright.” he said as he handed her the camera.

Lauren came next to my side with a grin on her face and she held up the camera towards me, “How do you think I did? Think the Lotus Agency will accept me?” she asked as she flipped through the pictures of her and I was filled with envy at how beautiful she was. I was a four compared to her perfect ten. Nothing like seeing some pictures of a beautiful girl to make you feel like crap. Lauren was showing me these because that’s how she wanted me to feel, I knew her enough to know this was her plan. “Jocelyn, what do you think?” she asked innocently when I didn’t answer.

“You look great.” I forced myself to say, pleasing her I saw.

“Would you like some pictures taken of yourself?” she asked and I shook my head, ready to protest when she spoke before I could even get a word out. “Oh wait, you hate photos being taken of you right? You say the wrong angle always makes your face look fat? Hmm, I wonder if I have that problem.” she said as she scrolled threw the many pictures of model pictures.

I was happy when Yuri opened the door. He had a button white shirt but the top three buttons were open and when he walked over I realized it was because there wasn’t any. He had black dress pants on that was his white button shirt was tucked inside with some black dress shoes. “Is this it?” he asked.

“Almost.” she said. “I want to do your hair.”

“My hair?” he questioned as he ran his fingers threw his wavy brown hair.

“Yes.” she said as she took his arm and pulled him across the room where a mirror and chairs was with makeup and hair tools. She started parting his hair and straighten it. When she was finished, his hair was straighten and pushed back. It didn’t look so bad, it actually made Yuri look ten times hotter. She smiled as she lowered, looking over his shoulder, “Ready model buddy?” she sweetly asked.

I grumbled, mocking her and rolled my eyes as she grabbed him by the arm again and like a doll, took him over to grey background.

“Loosen up, Yuri.” Lauren chuckled when Yuri just stood there.

“Yuri, take Lauren in your arms.” Lauren Uncle Henry said. Yuri went behind Lauren and put his arms around her. Henry walked over to them and moved one of Yuri arms to go across her chest and the other arm to go across her stomach, “Like you’re trying to protect her, hold her with meaning. A picture can speak a thousand words with the right pose. Okay, good.” he said as he snapped some pictures. “Look at her like you love her.”

I wanted to break his bones.

Yuri did as Henry said but then he started chuckling, making Lauren giggle, meanwhile Henry was snapping pictures. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I just find this so awkward.” Yuri said.

“Just go with it.” Lauren said. She brought one of her hands up behind his neck and pulled his head closer to hers. She was trying to kill me. This is why she invited me to come along because it wasn’t for me to feel more comfortable about this but she wanted me to watch how close she and Yuri was getting.

After another twenty minutes of painfully watching them get close enough to even kiss once, it was finish. Yuri changed back into the clothes he got here and when he came out, Henry walked over to him, “You’re not too bad, Yuri. Have you ever modeled before?”

“No, but I have always been in front of a camera growing up.” he said.

“Yuri didn’t even have to try so hard.” Lauren said as she walked over to them. “He’s just naturally handsome.”

“It was fun.” Yuri said. “After a moment it got more fun.”

“That’s good.” Henry said. “If you ever need any photos taken of you, I’m always here.”

YURI

“You still think I’m pretty, right?” Jocelyn asked when we got into my rental car.

I looked at her confused, “Of course, why?”

She shrugged, “Lauren just looked so pretty, don’t you think?”

“Well—yes, but that doesn’t matter. You’re beautiful to me.” I said and I knew I said the wrong thing when her eyes widen. I hadn’t meant it in that way though. Lauren is pretty, but that doesn’t mean I like her in anyway or form. I only agreed to do this because I know she wouldn’t have left me alone. I turned in my seat when she looked away, “Jocelyn, do not give me the cold shoulder please. I know I say the wrong things, but you’re important to me. She isn’t.”

“I just wish I was that perfect.” she said.

“No one perfect, Jocelyn.” I told her. “I’m not perfect and I know you’re not even though you try so hard to be. I thank God you are not, because how boring would that be? I prefer you how you are, because it’s who you are. I love that independent attitude. You still treat me like a normal guy even after everything.”

She gave me a small smile, “Because I know I have to keep that big head that size.”

“And I would not want to risk having that by having it disappear.” I said. “It is the littlest things you do that make me even crazier for you. I remember back in Italy when you tried making me a cake and we got so distracted that it burned and almost caught on fire. You started crying.”

“And you were laughing at me.” she said, giving me a hard playful look.

“But I hugged you. The smallest things like that, I always remember perfectly.” I said.

“Hmm, who was my favorite singer at the time?” she asked.

“Sara Evans because you found her CD in a music shop. You played the whole thing for a whole month.” I said. “You prefer tea over coffee. You like dogs, pugs is your favorites but your mother is allergic to them so you can’t have one. You like the color purple but rather paint your nails pink. You love wearing flannels. You bought a homeless man a whole meal from McDonalds in Rome because it was your ‘Catholic duties’ to do that for him. You visited a farmer and his wife outside of Rome because you met the man at a farmers market and saw he needed help carrying groceries.”

“You just know allot about me, don’t you Yuri?” she asked, smiling at me.

I grinned, “You pay attention when the other person is making sure you are.”

She chuckled and leaned over, hugging me. I put my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She chuckled, “The Double Mary’s are watching us.” she said and I turned my head around to see two older ladies in the hairs salon who were indeed watching us. “I can hear their gossiping now at church. ‘That Yuri boy must be a looker for a grounded girl like Jocelyn Bowen to be in the same car. It only takes one time and nine months for that child to have a child herself.’” she said in a whinny old southern voice.

I grinned and nodded at the ladies as I winked. They seem to look like they scoffed and put their face back in the magazines. Jocelyn and I started laughing.

“Ever been in a Swedish store?” Jocelyn asked.

“Eh, no.” I said. “Why?”

“Old Man Krister family is from Swedish. He sells these crazy dumplings called Blodplat. Since a good forty percent of this town are descendants are from Sweden, only the older folks buys them but us younger kids always dare each other to eat them.” she said.

“And you want me to try one?” I asked and she grin, nodding. “Have you ever tried one?”

She nodded, “Yes, I have. Not too bad.”

“What is it made of?” I asked, arching my eyebrow.

“Flour, potatoes, bacons,” she said, pausing for moment before grinning, “reindeer blood.”

“No.” I quickly said as I shook my head.

She scoffed, “What?” she questioned. “It’s a thing to do here, I just avoided making you do it for so long because I didn’t want to scare you away. We need lots of memories, remember? Allot of us around here at least try it once.”

“I am not from around here, remember?” I asked, avoiding this as far as I could. “The Swedish may like it, but I won’t.”

She her grin widen, “I dare ya!”

“No.” I said, shaking my head.

“Chicken.” she said and I shrugged. That wasn’t going to bother me. “I’ve tried it, come on!”

“That is because you are a weirdo.” I said and she giggled.

“I’ll be your best friend.” she said.

“Ehh, you already been for the past year.” I said.

“It’s right over there!” she said as she pointed over at a small store. “I’ll do whatever you want if you try it.”

“Whatever I want?” I asked and she nodded. “Okay, I want you to come to Saint Petersburg to come live with me after you graduate.”

Her grin lowered as she looked at me with those eyes of her widen. I had expect them to, I was expecting her to look shocked and scared like she did right now. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

“No need to rush on the answer.” I said.

“Are you serious?” she asked. She forced a smile, “You’re only joking.”

I shook my head, “No, I’m not. I want you to come live with me in Saint Petersburg. I don’t care how long you want to stay, as long as you come. I came here to your home,”

“You wanted to. You thought of the idea.” she said.

“Because I wanted to be with you.” I said and she scoffed, sitting in her seat with her back against the seat. “You don’t want to be with me?”

“It’s Russia!” she said. “When I said I wanted to go, I meant for like a vacation. Not to move there. What am I going to do in Russia? I don’t know the language.”

“There are tourist spots where lots of people speak English. Find a job there and you’ll pick up the language.” I said.

“I barley picked up on Italian.” she argued.

“Jocelyn, I need to know real soon.” I said. “I need to be able to prepare everything because I can’t snap my fingers and make things happens like you think I can do. I won’t have us living with my father because once I graduate, I’m out of that house. We’ll have our own apartment, we’ll be treated like adults. I can take care of you.”

“I don’t know if I can leave my parents again.” she said. “Yuri, I want to be with you but . . . Russia?”

“I can’t come back here, it’ll be even more worse.” I said. “We’ll be out of school and Buck? Lauren? I don’t want that bullshit problem. New life in Saint Petersburg for me and you.”

“My family though.” she said.

“We’ll come every Holiday to visit them.” I said. I know Jocelyn is a family person, she cares for her family allot and there was plenty of times back in Italy I had to comfort her for every holiday because she wasn’t home to celebrate it with them.

“I don’t have money to just move to Russia.” she said. “You know how much a ticket for a plane ride there? I don’t wanna think about it.”

“My family gives out large checks after graduation. We are supposed to use it for college, but I don’t see myself going to college. I’ll help pay for that plane trip.” I leaned over and took her face in my hands, “Come with me then, Jocelyn. Let me show you my home. Do you really think I can come back here? New adventures in Russia for us both. It’ll be like being in Rome, just the two of us together again.”

She stared at me for a moment before smiling. It was small, but it was still a smile, “I’ll think about it. I would have to talk to my parents about it. If they say yes—I’ll go.”

I grinned and kissed her. She put her arms around my neck as she kissed me back. I don’t see myself coming back here after I finish school because of Buck. I probably would I didn’t make some enemies. I would only have come back if Jocelyn said no and if she doesn’t come after she graduates I guess I’ll be coming back after all. I know change can be scary, but I like change and she’ll like it in Saint Petersburg or Moscow or wherever she wants to go.

JOCELYN

I was smiling as I watched Yuri get handed the blodpalt dumpling. I was eager to see his reaction, knowing it’ll be funny. I lied when I said I tried it. Buck had did it two years ago and he even tried to get me to do it but I back out. All his friends and himself did the same reaction to it was gross. It was just something we didn’t grow up eating to until Old Man Krister did.

Yuri brought the paper back the dark ball was in and sniffed it, making a face. I chuckled as he broke it in half and picked up a piece. He groaned and shook his head, using a phrase I heard him say many times in Russian asking God to help him even though he wasn’t very religious.

Yuri closed his eyes and threw the blood dumpling into his mouth. His face at first was disgust as he chewed on it slowly but it soon went away. It wasn’t a good face he made either, but not one in disgust either.

Old Man Krister chuckled, “You’re the first to come in here young man and not spit it out. For that, it’s free.”

Yuri swallowed, “It was not horrible like I thought it would be. I have had something similar to it before. My grandmother called it Black Pudding.”

“Also known as blood sausage.” Old Man Krister said, chuckling when Yuri face turned to disgust.

“Eh, it mostly taste dry. It isn’t good, but it isn’t disgusting.” Yuri said then held out the paper bag towards me and my nose scrunched up. “What? You said you tried before.”

I chuckled, “I was lying.” I said and his eyes widen.

“What!” he said angrily and I started laughing. “Eat it!”

“No!” I said, laughing hard. “I’m alright with the blood I already have in my own body.”

“That is evil!” Yuri said. “I only did this because you said you had.” He picked up the other half and put it in my face, “Eat.”

I pulled back, “No!”

Yuri looked it and shrugged, “What the hell?” he said and popped it in his mouth, eating it. When he finished chewing it, he turned to me and grinned, “Kiss?”

“A big ol’ one.” Old Man Krister said, chuckling.

Yuri leaned overs me as he put his arms around my waist and I squealed as I tried to duck his blood breath from me. “No!” I yelled, giggling. He finally pecked me on the mouth and I made a yuck face when he pulled back.