|CHAPTER FOUR|

~anger is one word away from Danger...................................
ANGER- DANGER~

(Song: listen to what's Poppin by jack Harlow)

~CHASE~

Blood...

Blood... Blood... Her...

Guilt... Guilt...

The sound of the rolling fan, accompanied with the ticking of the clock were the only sounds that I could here as I was yet to reply Miss Claire's question.

I sighed heavily.

"I still have the nightmares, but it isn't as constant as it used to be before." I replied Miss Claire, my therapist of about three years now, as I laid myself on the Ankara material three sitter sofa placed opposite her desk. "I still feel guilty."

"Guilt.... kills slowly Chase, it eats away ones soul and derives one from pleasures and good things. Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, and destroy you as a person, it is a black wall. It is a thief. Those are the words, I've been trying to put into your head now for the past three years." Miss Claire said with her eyes fixed on me as she used her hand to push some strands of the Bob Marley to the back of her ear which made me notice the perspiration on her forehead, and her tired baggy eyes.

She looked exhausted.

She continued."So the faster that you can stop wallowing in guilt, blame or resentment, the faster you can put it behind you..."

"And what if I can't stop wallowing in my guilt? and what if I can't stop blaming myself? and what if I can't stop resenting myself?" I cut into her statement, as I sat uprightly on the sofa. "Just what if I can never put it behind me?"

Miss Claire kept looking at me from across the table without saying anything, then she took her glass case, and removed her glasses from it and wore it. Everywhere was still for sometime time until she spoke.

"Chase, I've always and will always tell you that you need to socialize, you need to be around people. Your guilt..." She said pointing to me.

"Your guilt, is really eating you up, it is devouring you, and making you lose control of yourself and your anger issues might persist." She sighed as she landed, but I didn't say anything.

"Do you still smoke?" She asked.

"I'm trying not to." I responded, but she raised her brows at me, not satisfied about my response. "Okay after, the last session I had with you, I've been working on it, believe me, I'm really trying not to, so... maybe I take two sticks per day."

She sighed once again. "So how's school treating you?"

She asked, shocking me at her sudden question because normally anytime, I told her that I still smoked, she would prepare an extra hour of counselling for me, on the dangers, and repercussions of smoking.

"Fine." I answered.

"What about your insomnia?" She asked.

"Well sleep isn't normal for me, so please let's skip that part."

She breathed in heavily. "Weirdly, you don't have any eye bag, and your eyes isn't red."

"Yeah, that's just my nature I guess."

"It been a week since you resumed right?" She asked.

I nodded. "So do you have friends now? Do you try to socialize like I told you to?" She asked.

"I talk to my sister, her best friend, Feyi and one Jonathan."I told her.

She smiled at me. "Only your sister and her friends? Why don't you try to make more friends, and also try to live like a normal teenager? You know what I mean right?"

"No."

"Make lot of friends, it will allow you to stop wallowing in your guilt, and also if you have people around you, maybe you would finally stop smoking, and the amounts of time you use in worrying, would be used to have fun, and also..." She trailed off.

"Also what?" I asked.

"Find someone you will love, someone that will care about you, someone that will make you happy."She said grinning at me.

I laughed. "Love?"

"Yes love."She answered. "Or what is funny?"

"Nothing, it's just weird, you telling a student, a secondary school student to find love."

She adjusted herself on her chair.

"Says a student that smokes." She responded with a frown on her face, before smiling at me. "Well sometimes love heals, and helps."She answered simply.

And I nodded not taking her words seriously, then I checked the time on my Rolex wrist watch. "I should get going now, I'm already late for school." I told her.

"Alright," she said. "And remember the mantra, positive vibes only, and smile always."

I smiled at her, and stood up from the sofa, I was seated. "Bye bye."

"Wait." Her voice made me stop on my track abruptly. "I know you have to be in school, but our session isn't finished yet."

I turned and looked at her raising my brows. "I know, but I'm late for school already."

"But the money your dad pay for three hours session isn't a joke, you know that." She stated.

I shrugged. "He probably doesn't feel it in his account, so there's nothing to be worried about."

She sighed. "If you say, so call me anytime and we would book a next session for you."

I nodded in response, and she bade me goodbye. I walked out of her office,entered into my benz, and drove myself to school.

Once I got to school, I checked the time on my wrist watch again and no doubt that I'd missed the day morning assembly. I got down from my car, and looked at my face in the side view mirror and smiled brightly to myself, as I remembered Miss Claire words

"And remember the mantra, positive vibes only, and smile always".

Smile chase, just smile.

I entered into the SS3 building and on my way to the class I saw a face that I was acquainted with, a guy in the science class, half cast, but I didn't know his name.

"Hey." I decided to greet, since Miss Claire advised me to socialize.

He looked at me stunned, probably shocked that I was greeting him, before he finally opened his mouth to reply.

"Hello." he greeted me back, smiling widely, then he stretched his hand towards me for a hand shake and I shooked him. "I'm Wendell, from the science class." He told me.

"Chase, from commercial." I also told him.

"I actually know you, Pinky pink twin."

I nodded. "Hope we get to know each other more." I told him, flashing him one of my fake huge smile, which I have gotten accustomed to all thanks to Miss Claire.

"Yeah, sure." He said and I left and kept on walking towards my class and I responded to everyone that greeted me since Miss Claire said that I should socialize.

so that's what I did...

I walked into my class and saw the mathematics teacher, Mr sultan teaching already.

"Good morning sir." I greeted him, and I could see all eyes on me.

"Chase you are late." He told me not acknowledging my greeting. I stared at him, looking at his fair oblong face with a well combed and oiled beard. "Why are you late?" He asked.

The smile on my face didn't still leave my face as I answered him. "Personal issues sir."

"Well I don't care, you can be rich ooo." He yelled dragging the ooo, in a way that annoyed me already and i didn't like it when people shout at me it annoyed me.

and what does being rich as to do with anything now?

also does the man hate me ni? 'cause I don't understand why he was acting that way to me.

"See ask from any of the students here, I'm very strict ooo." He continued still yelling, as I clenched and unclenched my fist but still tried to smile. "You are smiling, abi? See chase, the new student grace on you has gone ooo, so let this be the last time that you will ever come to my class late again or else I will show you."

it has been confirmed, this man hates me and I hate him too!

I knew this man already annoyed me, and knowing my former self I would have reacted but it seemed like the sessions with Miss Claire really payed off.

chase calm down...

I exhaled in and out, as I remembered Miss Claire words from one of our past sessions.

"Don't let your anger get the best of you, and if you can't seem to control it, why don't you count one to twenty, or rather snapping your fingers will help...."

I closed my eyes and snapped my fingers just like Miss Claire had told me to do, then exhaled again as I opened my eyes to see Mr sultan staring at me probably waiting for an apology from me with his head raised because of the height difference between us. I was about 6ft 5inches, while he was just maybe approximately, 6ft.

I smiled brightly at him. "Mr sultan, I'm really sorry and i wouldn't come late to class again." I told him.

He turned away from me and diverted his attention back to the class. "You can go to your seat now." He ordered me and I went to my sit at the back of the class.

When I first got here, pinky wanted me to sit with her but I didn't want that, I wanted a place more secluded, a place all to myself so I decided to sit at the back of the class, since only one student whose name I didn't know stayed there.

I settled in on my seat and glanced at Pink and I met her staring at me, so I threw her one of my smiles, but a real one this time and she smiled back at me before turning back to listen to what the teacher was teaching. I brought out my maths notebook from my bag and started writing down what he had written on the board, but I couldn't understand what was written because it seemed like some parts where already wiped off so I didn't write, instead I decided that I would collect Pinky's notes and write my note later.

"So who can solve this equation on the board for me?" Mr sultan asked, using his hand to point to the board as his eyes roamed through the class.

Some hands went up, among it was Pinky's, but Mr sultan didn't seem to notice, or maybe he didn't just want to call them.

"You." he said using his head to nudge at my direction.

I knew he was referring to me and I don't play stupid so I decided to answer because I was pretty sure that he was trying to embarrass me in front of the whole class, but he was in for it because I was way brilliant than anyone would ever imagine, even though I never attended a proper secondary school my home school teacher taught me well and beyond.

I looked at the maths equation on the board and saw that it was a simple Geometry of a circle question, something that I had gone through a lot of time with my former home school teacher. I stood up slowly from my seat, with all eyes on me as I walked up to the front on the class with confidence, a smile was plastered on my face, I looked over at Mr sultan and I could see a smirk on his face, probably waiting for me to fail the question.

now he would see who would be embarrassed.

He threw a marker at me, and I caught it effortlessly and faced the equation on the board. I stared at the question on the board, observing it before I started solving it. I used my brain for the mental arithmetic since I already learnt how to calculate without using the calculator, all thanks to Mr Chinedu, my former home school teacher.

I was done in less than one minute and I didn't even need to recheck my solving for any mistake because I was very confident that I couldn't fail it. I gave Mr sultan the marker, and the honestly the look on his face was priceless, his lips were slightly apart, and his eyes were huge, almost as if he was expecting me to fail the question.

but I didn't.

I didn't even wait for his comments before I started walking back to my seat just then Pinky started clapping, followed by Rayo, and soon enough the whole class joined in.

"It's okay stop clapping, the maths wasn't that hard," Mr sultan commented, as I sat down back on my seat. "Well I'm sure that anybody could have solved this maths, right?" The man asked, making me wonder if he had some kind of grudge against me.

No one answered his question, then he went back to his teaching. The bell rang, and I waited patiently for Mr sultan to go out but he didn't, and I just wished that at that moment someone would question him.

"Sir your time is over." Someone mentioned from the front as if he could read my mind.

"Nola your time will be over."Mr sultan yelled at him as he faced him. "And in case you students don't know I have two periods with you guys."

Murmurs of "Oooo." Filled up the class.

"Ehm ehm." Mr sultan cleared his throat. "See the people that wants to write WAEC and JAMB next year and you are not serious. Answer me, is this the way you want to write your WAEC and JAMB? Or you guys think that we will enter into the exam Hall that day and teach you?"

"Yes sir, you have to teach us na." The guy whose name I'd learnt to be Nola replied, gaining Mr Sultan attention.

Mr Sultan glared at him as he fumed in anger making his fair face red. "Nola, out of my class right now." He ordered.

"I didn't even want to stay in your boring class before." Nola said as he stood up from his seat and went out of the class, leaving a furious, angered and frustrated Mr Sultan behind. I smiled as I watched everything that had played out between Nola and Mr Sultan. I mean even if Mr sultan wanted to beat Nola, he couldn't, unless he wanted the wrath of the school authorities and Nola parents.

The rest of the class went by and in as much as I detested the teacher I could never hate the subject and in all honesty I could never hate any subject.

After maths we had two more subjects before long break. And once it was long break, Pinky and her best friend Rayo made their way to my seat.

"Hey." Pinky greeted, as she sat down with me on my seat, making me sit with just one of my butt cheek.

I smiled at her. "Hey Pinky, how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Rayo hey." I greeted Rayo, who just stood in front of my desk, looking at me like an object of observation.

"Hola mi ente." She responded in Spanish and I think that means 'How are you doing' well I'm not sure.

"Are you going to come with me to the cafeteria? And No isn't an option." Pink said with a smile on her face.

"And why is No not an option." I decided to ask.

"Well, firstly, through out last week you didn't step into the cafeteria, and secondly, you have to eat." Rayo voiced out. "Come to think of it Pinky pink, I've never seen your brother eating".

"I'm actually just noticing oooo." Pink answered Rayo, then she faced me. "You have to eat something today".

eat?I guess Pink doesn't even know.

"I don't have appetite."

"What, don't tell me that." She kept her hand on my shoulder as she spoke. "I'm forcing you to eat something, unless I wouldn't eat."

"Me too." Rayo added.

I laughed, no like seriously I laughed because they were really cracking me up.

"I'm not joking oo!" Pink scowled.

"Okay fine, but..."

"But what?" Rayo interjected me.

"But I'm not going to the cafeteria, so Pink you can just get some snacks for me."

"Alright, if you say so." Pink said, as she stood up from my seat and I adjusted myself on my chair finally using my two butt cheeks to sit, just then Jonathan entered into our class.

"Whatsup y'all?" He greeted.

"Heya!" Rayo greeted him and went to hug him. As I watched the couple I heard Pinky clear her throat exaggeratedly near me.

"Hey pink!" He greeted her as Rayo released him from the hug but he still had his hand wrapped around her shoulders.

"Jona whatsup!" Pinky greeted.

"I'm fine oo, It's even you that I came to see." Jona said as he walked towards my seat, with Rayo still wrapped around his hands. "My guy what's good jare?"

"Everything." I replied him smiling.

"So what did you come to see me for?" Pinky asked him.

"Mr sultan said that I should collect your maths notebook."

"Ooo okay." She responded and went to her seat to grab her maths notebook from her school bag then she walked back to my seat and handed the note over to Jonathan then I remembered that I needed her note too.

"Ooo pinky, I need your maths notebook oo." I told her.

"Ahhhh, and I just gave it to jona." She responded. "Let me collect it back."

"Ahn pinky, but Mr sultan said to collect your note book na." Said jona.

"Ehn but when my brother wants to use it nko?" She replied trying to drag away her book from his hand.

I smiled at her behavior.

"Don't worry, I can collect someone else's." I told her and she nodded in response before leaving the book with Jona "Ehm Rayo can you..."

"Don't even ask me, my note is not complete." Rayo said cutting me, before I could even complete my statement. "See pinky let's go to the cafeteria before break is over."

"Okay and don't worry chase, I'll help you borrow note from someone when I'm back, do you here?" Pink asked and I hummed in response. "So which snacks do you want?"

"Anything." I responded.

"Meat pie and Pepsi, or burger and five alive."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Anything."

"Let buy him meat pie and five alive, the meat pie smells really nice, and it tastes good as well." Rayo said as she and pink alongside Jonathan walked out of the class.

I smiled at Rayo's last statement, about me liking the meat pie because it smelt nice and it tastes nice, when I was sure that I wouldn't even like it.

because I can't smell, and my taste buds are really bad.

I sat quietly on my chair doing nothing. I was the only one in class apart from one girl that rarely spoke. She was always sleeping, let's just say that she was invisible or she was ghosting. I was getting restless as I sat without doing nothing, i really needed to do something just to keep myself busy, that's when I remembered that I had a maths note to write so I could just borrow from the girl sleeping near me.

"Hey?" I said, trying to get her attention, but she didn't even flinch or maybe she didn't hear me, so, I decided to tap her.

I stood up from my from my seat and moved towards her, I got to her seat and wanted to tap her but then I had doubt about touching her.

What if she doesn't like people touching her, or what if she ignores me.

Well only one way to find out.

I used my left hand to tap her on her back. "Hey, sorry to disturb you." I said.

She removed her head from her desk, and looked at me, with her mouth opened.

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A/N

Finally we got a Chase POV.

How was it? Hope you liked it.

Let me make things clear firstly chase is unpredictable but I'll keep my mouth shut on that but as the book progresses you would understand.

Secondly there are lots of things you don't know about Chase. This chapter just showed 9% of his life.

His life is...🤐🤐🤐

And what could Chase be feeling guilty about?? Well I don't know.

Maybe I would ask him later.

But seriously we haven't seen the real Chase.

And I'm sure you don't want to see him.

He is🤐🤫😖😖

There really is something in him. (Something in there)

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺