/CHAPTER SEVENTEEN/

ALWAYS REMEMBER;
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
YOU'RE STRONG!
YOU'RE WORTHY!
YOU'RE IMPORTANT!
YOU'RE UNIQUE!
YOU'RE SPECIAL!
YOU'RE WONDERFUL!
YOU'RE TALENTED!

(Song; Bad blood by Taylor swift and Kendrick Lamar)

(Dedication; Mirabillics your comments makes me feel really loved. NOT EDITED😂😂 MOST OF MY CHAPTERS AREN'T, AND SINCE I'M TRYING TO UPDATE EVERYDAY IT WOULDN'T 😂😂)

~CHASE~

It was finally Wednesday, my tryouts day.

Honestly I wasn't bodily and heartily prepared because so far the week wasn't really going well for me, with my constant and alarming nightmares which had allowed the guilt in me to rise above a fifty.

I was scared.

I was petrified of what might happen to me, of what I might become if my guilt should raise up to an hundred.

And what scared me the most was the fact that my sessions with Miss Claire were no longer paying off. It was like the nightmares were sent to attack me and it was making me lose control of myself slowly.

My mood swings came regularly, making me exhibit different types of unexplainable behaviors, like my increased pace of anxiety around my dad, my excessive desire for sex and weed...

"Chase!" I turned to look at who called my name and I saw Pink strolling down to were I was seated on the bleachers. "I've been calling you since, what were you thinking about? "

Lot of things.

She sat down near me, and placed her head on my shoulder. I didn't say anything neither did she as we watched some students play on the basketball court and believe me when I say that it wasn't even Friday but the court was really noisy.

I tried to study the way they played, their method of dribbling and scoring. I wasn't scared about the tryouts, not even a bit. Instead I was relaxed and chilled though my nightmare still worried me.

"Are you ready to kill it on the court?" Pink asked with her head still laying on my shoulder.

"I think." I answered truthfully because I felt like I wasn't prepared.

"Boo!!!" I sighed as I heard her voice. I looked up and saw her jogging towards me. I wasn't in the mood for her and sincerely she was becoming too clingy, although I kinda liked her.

Pinky removed her head from my shoulder and looked at her also, she looked bored and uninterested as she continued watching the game.

She got to my front grinning widely as she bent down to hug me. I heard Pink hiss by my side and Feyi sat by my other side without even acknowledging Pink. She wrapped her hands on my waist and I felt suffocated.

I continued watching the game and soon after they rounded up and the players left the court which meant that it was time for my tryouts.

The court was really noisy with students from different classes talking audibly, all of a sudden the court went quiet.

Someone entered.

I looked at the entrance to see who it was and I saw them, Tayo, Wendell and his two other followers. Tayo face wasn't smiling and he exhibited a bad boy aura but with a bursted and swollen eye, while Wendell was smiling and he was even greeting some juniors, and the remaining two followers were just walking like chairmans.

They wish.

Wendell and the two other followers walked towards us while Tayo went straight to the court.

"Chase wassup?" Wendell jammed hands with me. I smiled at him as a friendly gesture and he sat beside Pink and the two of them immediately got into a conversation but I didn't pay attention to it.

"Hey." The two other followers greeted me at the same time as they each sat near Feyi but I didn't respond.

I could hear Feyi saying something with the two followers but I wasn't paying attention as my eyes were back to the court. The coach was on the court and he was talking to Tayo and some other students then I heard my name.

The coach was calling me to come join them on the court.

I stood up immediately without telling anybody that I was leaving, i mean that if they even noticed because they looked so engrossed in their conversation. I ran to meet the coach who kept smiling at me as I got to his front and also I didn't miss the look Tayo gave me.

"So Tayo, I'm sure you've heard of chase. Pinky pink twin." Tayo nodded and he didn't say anything but he was still giving me that look. Nevertheless I didn't mind.

The coach didn't say anything as he kept looking at me, or maybe he was looking at me and Tayo. "Are you guys not going to shake?" he asked.

"No." Tayo answered for both of us and that answer made me realize that Tayo didn't like me a bit.

"Whatever, so chase Tayo is the captain of the basketball squad, meaning he would also be judging your performance on the court today." He stated and I glanced at Tayo who had a devilish smirk playing on his face, and I knew the meaning that smirk.

He was going to fail me.

I nodded and didn't say anything and the coach called some students and he spoke about lots of things, team work, willpower and so on and so forth.

Finally it was time. Time for the game, I wasn't scared but I was a little bit tense and edgy. I moved to the court with the other nine players and Tayo happened to be part of them, also he still had that smirk playing on his face.

We were divided into a group of two and Tayo was playing for the other side, which meant that we were opponents. I was totally clueless, it was my first time playing basketball and I didn't even know anything about it apart from what I'd seen on YouTube and on supersport TV.

Coach blew the whistle and the game started.

The game finally came to an end with Tayo's side winning. It was a really tough game but Tayo made it tougher, anytime the ball got to my hand I was always faced with Tayo attacking me.

"That was a good game, I'm impressed," we all listened as the coach spoke. "So for the upcoming tournament, the list of people playing would be released soon and Tayo would distribute the names but y'all should just know that if your name is on the list either you're playing or you're benching the practice would be times hundred. I'm I clear."

"Yes sir."

The whole hall resonated as we all responded to the coach, after his speech he dismissed the others apart from me and Tayo.

"So chase I saw how you played, and honestly your height helped serve as a good advantage, so I would definitely love to use you for the tournament and Tayo here would help..."

Tayo scoffed. "Help who?"

"Chase of course," the coach deadpanned. "You're the captain Tayo, so you have to guide your teammates and help train them also. So you have to assist chase here."

I was expecting Tayo to say something but he didn't even utter any statement, he just went away from the coach presence, out of the court.

The coach sighed and shook his head as he watched Tayo go out, but I would be lying if I say that I was shocked, because I wasn't a bit shocked at his audacity- I mean what was I even expecting him to say? Thank you?

"Dude got big problem," Coach lamented and faced me. "Are you two fighting?"

"No." I responded honestly, and the coach dismissed me so I went over to the bencher were Pink and Feyi were seated but Wendell and the two followers were not there instead I saw Rayo and Jonathan seated on their spot.

*. *. *.

(song; Now or never by Halsey 💗🌺🌺 or why oh why by Celine Deon 🤗🤗🤗💗)

~LILY~

Ever since Nola's birthday party had been announced, the whole class could not stop talking about it. It was on every one's tongue, but who was I to even be interested since I wasn't even invited. I had never been invited to any party, well apart from the ones I went to with my parents. The class was a little bit scanty and I was bored like always coupled with the fact that I had nothing to do, and sadly my best friend wasn't with me, by best friend I was talking about my RAP music book.

I felt lonely without it and I really missed it, but I doubted that itunu and Samira would ever give it to me back since tayo already ruined any little chance of me having it back, all because of the stunt he pulled out on itunu. I placed my head on my desk in order to lock myself out from reality. My mind drifted off, thinking about what the future held in store for me, if I was just an ordinary trash like people would say, then a question popped right into my head.

Would I ever be great and successful?

Can I ever be up to my classmates?

Do I really have a bright future ahead?

I couldn't say I did. I struggled with a lot of things, my self confidence, my studies, I found it really difficult to read. It's not like I had dyslexia or any reading problem, but ever since people started bullying me I found it really difficult to concentrate. I couldn't read my book without remembering all the things people said to my face.

'Say yes, that you are stupid, say it!'

'You stumblebum!'

'This girl dey smell.'

'I swear ehn, she dey smell, even the PSP truck wey dey pack trash for my estate no smell reach this girl.'

Those words. . .those were the words that kept distracting me, the words that echoed in my head anytime I tried to read. Those were the words that brought tears to my eyes, making me wonder if they were really saying the truth about me that I couldn't see.

'Yes, good choice, I like this new trash.'

'Yes you were lucky. You can never have a friend like Chase, not even in your dreams, nor in your next life. He is too good for a trash like you, so don't think that he will always have your back.'

'Or are you thinking it is trash ehn? Well Incase you don't know you are also trash and trash like you should roll and dine with other trash.'

Maybe I was really nothing but trash and there was Chase.

The only person who made me feel normal, the only one who didn't treat me like an outcast or a fugitive, my only friend, maybe if my whole classmates were like him -maybe- my life would have been more easier and free of bullying.

Tears swelled up in my eyes, so I quickly laid my head on the table, and used my hand to quickly wipe the tears off before it feel. I was in that position for some minutes I guess when I felt a tap on my back, I wonder who it could be so I raised my head from my desk and I saw one of my classmate staring right at me. I raised my head up and looked at her face but I avoided looking at her eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," She told me, so I looked away from her face and faced my desk. I wanted to ask why she woke me up from my drifting away from reality but I wasn't able to compose those sentence together. "Miss Belle called for you." with that she left.

I rubbed my hand across my face and started my journey to the administrative block to see Miss Belle. I walked consciously, and tried in all ways possible not to bump into anybody and all my efforts weren't rendered futile, because indeed, I was able to reach the administrative building without bumping into anyone.

I knocked as I reached Miss Belle office and I was told to enter, which I did.

"Lily, you're here," she said with a huge smile gracing her lips. I returned the smile back and walked to the front of her desk. "Have your sit dear."

She order and I sat down on a chair facing her.

"How are you Lily?"

Not happy!

Sad!

Disconsolate!

Dejected!

But I couldn't tell her all of that, so I just smiled at her and said, "I'm fine ma."

She shook her head, "That's not what I meant Lily. How has school been treating you since your resumption? Is it any better? Are they still bullying you?"

Yes.

They still do.

"No." I answered her and looked away from her face. I looked around her small but decent office, trying my best to avoid her gaze.

"Okay, if you say," She sighed. "You Know Lily, I called you here to talk to you and try to uplift your spirit."

I didn't say anything in reply, still looking all around her office.

"Lily, I've known you for three years now, and I've known you to be someone who keeps to herself, someone who burdens her problems herself, rather, than share. Lily dear, you're a strong woman but. . ." She trailed off and there was silence for some minutes. "But Lily you need to be able to stand for yourself, you need to find your own voice, you need to start thinking for yourself and you need to stop laying much emphasis on what people say about you."

My tears swelled up quickly in my eyes that if I should had blinked they would all pour down like a waterfall. I replayed all what Miss Belle had said to me in my head and I allowed it, I allowed my tears to flow down freely because all what she said were true.

I didn't have a voice to speak for myself, I couldn't stand up for myself, but then she called me a strong woman, I couldn't totally agree with that word, me? A strong woman?

I was weak, undeniably weak, a cowardice, a poltroonery, a spineless frail, a trash, I was all that.

But the doctor said you didn't stink_ my subconsciousness told me but I didn't listen to it because I just felt down.

Why? Why couldn't I just Stand up for myself? Why do I find it really difficult to talk back? Why do I let my classmates trample on me? I really wanted to know why? Why I was hated by everyone.

"Take,"

Miss Belle stretched forward a tissue paper to me, I collected it instantly and used it to wipe my tears away but the more I wiped, the more tears rolled down my cheeks and I had to use more than ten tissue before I was able to recompose myself.

"Are you okay now?" I nodded to her question, sniffing in the mucus that wanted to escape down my nose.

"See dear, don't allow people words to bring you down, don't let anyone trample on you and treat you like you are nothing, don't!" She rubbed her head on her temple and continued. "I have a book here with me," She held it and showed it to me. "It's called 'The six pillars of self-esteem' it's written by my favorite psychological author Dr Nathaniel Braden. When I saw it, I had you in mind. I bought it because of you so I want you to have it and read it, also practice what is written in the book. "

I collected the book from her and flipped through it, "Thank you ma," I thanked her, my voice coming out dull and softer than usual, she didn't say anything and neither did I. I was waiting for her to let me go but she didn't so I sat there in the budding silence.

"What are your dreams and aspirations Lily?" She asked catching me off guard.

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Thank God ooooo, we've conquered another chapter. Honestly it isn't easy writing a story. I just kept thinking of what to write and how to write, also please let me make this clear;

I'm not exactly a plotter, meaning that I don't have this whole story planned out already, I'm a pantser, meaning that I don't have this whole story laid out, so sometimes the plot changes everyday but I kinda have an idea of how I want the story to end Sha.

Sooooo what do you guys think about Lily?

Her thoughts?

One word to describe Lily please?

So please if the story isn't that smooth, please bare with me, once I've written it finish I'll edit it all.

Also Lily borrowed chapter again 😂😂😂

Tankyu so much Wattpadis😎

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