I waited for the shoe to drop all week, but Billy never proposed. A mix of emotions swirled in me. Part of me was so excited that Billy had found someone that gave him confidence in his life, but another part of me mourned the shifting of our relationship. We had long decided to be friends, but as we both began to ponder our futures with others, it felt more real.

"Hey, Sam," I said into the darkness of our bedroom after we had returned home.

"Yeah," he yawned.

"I don't want kids," I bluntly stated.

"What?" I absently said as he shifted deeper into his pillows.

"I don't want kids," I flatly said again.

"Do I get some context here?" He was more focused now.

"In life, I don't want kids. The idea doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to clean up after one or be responsible for one. I don't want kids," I explained.

"Oh," Sam murmured.

"I just thought you should know," I added.

"Yeah, I guess I should," he agreed.

"Do you want kids?" I asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. I've never really thought about it," he admitted.

"Oh, well; I think you should think about it."

"Yeah, I guess I should," he agreed again.

"Okay, so good night," I awkwardly added.

"Yeah, good night," he said, still in a daze from my unprompted statement.

I shifted over in bed to face the wall and waited for him to have follow-up questions. If they arose, he didn't blurt them into the darkness as I had.

We did our routine the following day as though nothing was different. I headed into my new office, and he headed into his. The pattern continued for weeks with no additional mention of kids or our future until one day Sam came home with a somber expression on his face.

"Hey, Lil." Just by his greeting, I knew something was wrong.

Immediately I prepared to be dumped. "Hey, what's wrong?" I prodded.

"I have some news," he began. "It's good news but not great timing," he continued.

"Okay." I held my breath.

"I got the developer promotion," he quickly spat.

"What? Sam, that's amazing! This is what you wanted, right? Less travel, better pay, more career advancement."

"Yeah, not it's great. It's just..." He hesitated.

"What?" I prodded.

"I have to go for training for two weeks in California." He let out a heavy breath as he spoke.

"Sam, that's nothing. One last work trip before you're all mine." I smiled.

"Yeah, no. It's not the trip. I have to go for two full weeks, and I leave next Monday," he admitted. "If I accept," he then added.

"You'll miss the wedding," I realized.

"I'll miss the wedding," Sam echoed.

"No, you have to take it. Tim and Tess are my friends. You barely know them. You would be crazy to pass up this opportunity for a wedding of people you barely know," I rationalized.

"But they are your best friends, and you're in the wedding. How can I not be there? I'm just not going to take it. I'm sure another opportunity will present itself." Sam was speaking as much to himself as to me.

"Sam, I will never talk to you again if you pass up this opportunity. You have been talking about this since we first met on the plane. And like you said, I'm in the wedding. I probably wouldn't see much of you, anyway."

"No, I want to go to the wedding. I want to see you in the dress and dance with you. I was looking forward to it."

"Sam, you have wanted this role forever. I won't let you say know. You are going into the office tomorrow and accepting. I will call Timmy now. I know he will agree."

"But..." Sam began again.

"No. This is not a discussion," I finalized.

"I want to see you in the dress," he whined.

"Well," I thought for a moment. "Actually, let me see if Tess can send it here. I probably should do one last fitting, anyway. Then you can see me in the dress, and I can make sure it fits."

"Really?" Hope piqued Sam's voice.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I'll call Timmy right now."

"Okay, but if he is pissed, then I'm going to the wedding," Sam noted.

"If Timmy is pissed, then neither of us is going to the wedding," I murmured as I headed upstairs to call Tim.

Tim didn't answer the phone with a greeting. He launched straight into the thought rolling around his brain.

"If you park at a meter and get out of your car, then realize you locked your keys in the car; do you pay the meter?"

"Yes," I answered, as though it were a normal way to answer a call.

"Really? I mean, are you parked if you don't leave your car?" Tim pressed.

"Yes, because you have left your car. If you were still in your car, then, no, you don't have to pay the meter. The moment you leave your car, then you're parked. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you don't have to pay up," I reasoned.

"Okay, so if you pull into a parking space, but don't leave your car, you don't have to pay the meter?" Tim continued.

"Nope. If you are sitting in the car, then no," I confirmed.

"Hm, I'm not sure if I agree, but for the record, Billy and Tess agree with you," Tim noted.

"On what front? The in the car or out of the car?" I asked.

"Both," he confirmed.

"Oh, well then, you know that is the answer; Family Feud rules."

"Yeah, I guess that is pretty definitive," he absently agreed. "So," he redirected, "you rang?"

"So, I have an update," I began cautiously. "First, I will one hundred percent be at your wedding."

"Ah, fuck yes, you will. Was it a possibility that you wouldn't?" Tim pressed.

"No, but Sam got a big promotion at work and has to go to training, so..."

"Sam can't come?"

"Sam can't come," I confirmed.

Tim thought for a moment. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I told him he had to take the promotion," I explained.

"No, Lil, listen to me. I know you want him to take the promotion, but are you okay with him not coming?" Tim pressed.

I slumped down to the corner of the bed and thought about it. "Well, I guess I'm a little bummed, but he won't have to travel nearly every week in this new role. Well, be able actually to build a life together."

"So, you want a life with him?" Tim pressed. "Like, if he were to say... propose?"

I thought about it. I really let myself think about it and felt a smile stretch across my face. "Yeah, I hope he does."

"Really?" Surprise filled Tim's voice.

"Yeah, why are you so surprised? Don't you like him?"

"No, I do. I just..."

"What?" I pressed.

"Lil, do you know about Billy?" Tim tentatively asked.

"He has a ring," I admitted. "For Sarah," I clarified.

"And that makes you...." Tim continued to prod.

"Excited for him and, honestly, excited for me. It's done. We're finalized as friends."

"Are you sure?" Tim pressed.

I leaned into the question. Billy Collins was my best friend; end of statement. "Yeah," I admitted, more to myself.

"Oh, okay then," Tim said in surprise.

"What?"

"I just sort of thought you two would end up together. I figured we would grow old and cranky together and play Canasta in fifty years when we're all ornery and senile."

"Well, Billy is already ornery, and you're pretty senile," I teased.

"Yeah," dejection filled Tim's voice.

"Timmy, we can still play Canasta in fifty years, but we'll play six-handed," I offered.

"Yeah, I guess. But at least you're coming to the wedding," Tim resigned.

"Yep. Hey, do you think you can have Tess send me my dress? I want to do one last fitting to make sure it's perfect."

"No, absolutely not," Tim argued.

"What? Why not?" I was shocked by the refusal.

"Because you don't want one last fitting. You want to have sex in the bridesmaid's dress," he exclaimed.

"What?" I couldn't even pretend it shocked me because he was so right.

"You heard me. No, you're not tarnishing my day with pre-wedding dress sex!"

"I'm not having sex in Tess' wedding dress. It's my bridesmaid's dress," I complained.

"So, you admit it," Tim accused.

"Tim, I love you and can't wait for your wedding. But I'm not continuing this conversation with you."

"You better not call Tess," Tim cautioned.

"You can't tell me what to do," I said before handing up the phone and immediately calling Tess.

"Hey, Lil, how are you?" Tess answered on the first ring.

Muffled behind her, I heard the thudding of what I assumed was Tim barreling down the stairs.

"Can you send me my dress for a last fitting?" I blurted before I heard Tim's voice.

In the background, I heard Tim erupt. "Don't let her desecrate our marriage!" He yelled.

"What is happening?" Tess blurted out.

"I just want to make sure it fits!" I argued.

"She wants to have sex in the dress before the wedding because Sam can't come!" Tim said at the same time.

"Wait, Sam can't come?" Tess asked.

"Yes, very exciting; he got a promotion. Unfortunately, he has to go to training during the wedding," I explained.

"Did he get the developer role?" Tess squealed.

"Yes! We're so excited!" I exclaimed.

"Tell him congrats! I bet he proposes. He wouldn't have done it when traveling all the time, but now nothing is standing in his way!" Tess blabbed.

"I hope so. I really think he's the one," I cooed.

"Aw, that's so sweet." Tess sighed.

"Talk, talk, talk," Tim griped. "Don't let her have sex in our wedding dress!"

"Tim, it's not our wedding dress. It's her bridesmaid's dress. Besides, we've had sex in my bridesmaid's dresses before weddings twice," Tess challenged.

"How do you think I know her dirty little plan?" Tim challenged. "Sam can't come, so they want the dress early so they can get it on and then show up in a used dress."

Tess audibly groaned. "Lily, I'll ship the dress out tomorrow. Have fun and tell Sam congrats."

"Do not have fun! No fun!" Tim yelled in the background.

"I'm going to go now because my fiancé is officially a groomzilla. I love you!" Tess tacked on at the end.

"Love you too," I managed before she hung up.