'No matter how much I express my love to you, i would never be satisfied.'

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Manzar's POV

“It is already 8 at night, we are walking endlessly. I’m tired.”
I said huffing to catch my breath

“I’m tired too”
he said slumping his shoulders and crouched down on the ground

I tucked the cap on my head lower to avoid the cool breeze falling on my all drenched cheeks and shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie.

I looked at him, he was exhausted I calculated, a man like him who eat like a pig and sleep like a bear must need rest by now.

He did a lot for me today and yet can’t find him complaining.

“Why are you doing this?”
despite my anger I croaked

He looked up at me, confused.
“What?”

“This taking care of me, when I did nothing else but been a total bitch to you and your sister?”

“the sister you are talking about is your friend, you have every right on her.”
he said sighing and standing back to his previous position

“what about you? I don’t have a claim on you, then why?”

Adding up to my frustration he smiled,
“Believe it or not Manzar, you have this claim on me that even my mother and sister can’t believe.”

“you are doing nothing but adding more to my frustration.”
I barked looking heaven-wards

He blinked,
“Why can’t you leave all in past Manzar? What is done is done.”

“How can one leave the past behind when there is a lot to endure?”

“Good or bad?”

Good more than bad.

“bad more…a little good”

He smiled.

“Why are you angry? What are you upset about?”

“You kidding me? you vanished from my life without explaining…”
he cut me off

“I know I left you waiting on your doorstep all dressed up and ready to go out on our very first date, Seher is still burning me up on this.”

“For god’s sake, leave me and her out of this…talk about yourself.”
I said holding him by his collar

“you left me without explaining, you never told me, why? You never told me you got selected in your physical test too, you never told me your father wanted you to leave Delhi. You never told me you tried to contact me a billion times.”

Tears were streaming down my face like anything, even the clouds were accompanying me.

“Aditya threatened you, I understand, but that couldn’t stop you… you can always come to me without any trouble because of your position… then why you never reach out to me, to explain yourself.”
I tried to shook him but ended up shaking myself

“Tell me… everytime I want you to speak, you are quite… whenever I decide I’m over you, I’m not going to think about you anymore, you barge into my life out of nowhere—again all handsome and too proud of yourself. Do you know how it pains me to see you all cold to everyone, all bottled up to them and only vulnerable to me.”

“when Ruhani was telling me everything I wanted you to make a move, tell me how much you still love me, how much you are yearning to be with me, how much you want us together. But all you did was to hide your face from me and…"

" for once Rudra, for once,  stop understanding me and take a step for yourself. It’s not your duty to understand all the time.”

He looked me sharply the moment his name escaped my lips.

“I use to loath your very existence a few days ago and now here I am falling head over heels for you, once again.” I said pulling away

“You are still silent, not saying a single word.”

I said wiping my tears and made a good distance in between us.

I inhaled and exhaled.

“I need to leave, Rudra, please let’s go.”
I said turning away and started walking faster.

“Manzar, stay!”
he called for me

“Manzar stop!”
he called again but the time when I realized what was happening, I was already running away from him to god knows where.

I ran and ran until my lungs gave out and tears stopped coming out. His steps still right behind me,
“Stop it Manzar!”

I moved my eyes and saw a house a distance of almost a good 50 metres

“Leave me alone, Rudra.”
I move for a run again only to be this time pulled back on to a hard chest

“STOP IT I SAID”
he shouted

I flinched.

“You want me speak? Right?” he yelled once again

I kept my eyes low, never leaving my shoes.

“Look at me”
he yelled again,

I flinched once again

He held me by both of my arms and pulled me under his nose, zeroed his eyes at me,
“I love you I still do.”

My eyes teary

“God… I never stopped loving you, it only grows."

" I love it when these small black pools look at me, like I am the most precious thing to you, like someone you can rely on. I left because of my responsibility towards my family and… and towards you. I wanted to become a better man for you, so that you can live a life you always wanted, fear free and only flights never landings.”

“I was a coward who left without explaining because I couldn’t build that courage in me to explain my duty calls to you, I thought you deserve someone who can let you live a stable life to the place you always wanted. I know how much you love Delhi. And after you becoming a part of my life, you can’t keep yourself there, confined to Delhi only.”

“Then why are you back?” I shouted back with same rage

“Because I am selfish!”

“I am selfish enough to want you back. I contacted everyone asked for help to win you back… Damn it.”
He loosened his grip on me and pulled his hair back.

I melted right there.

Win me back.

Please.

“I asked for both Aditya’s and Seher’s apology and even earned a tight slap…”

“Wh…”
I was cut off

“Don’t ask who… you know her very well.”

I wanted to smile.

I turned and did what I wanted, I smiled pursing my lips like a miniac. Just then my eyes rested on the house once again.

“there’s a house, we should ask for help…”
the rain slowed down for a bit only to comeback with a thunder

I was pulled back by a large force into him,
“I am not done yet!” he shouted

My eyebrows shot up to my forehead and pursed my lips, to hide the smile.

What’s with me all rude and angry one second and smiling the next, well this is nothing new.

“How can you kiss someone like that… out of anger?”
he looked ruhtless

But delicious

I opened my mouth to say something meanwhile feeling my cheeks warming up but he didn’t let me complete.

He slammed his lips on mine within seconds, everything went blank that instant.

This is… exactly what I was talking about.

If I was saying I didn’t felt a spark back then, I was feeling sky-shots this time.
If I said there were no flutterings in my stomach back then, I am having a havoc in there this time.

There was a large elephant in my stomach, who was doing a summersault again and again and playing a jazz number swaying his trunk up and down, left and right making trumpet sounds annoyingly.

The sky-shots were too bright and colourful for me to keep my eyes open for longer, I decided in favor and shut my eyes close, the warmth his hands were radiating against my cheeks were too tempting me to not to lean against him.

And right that moment I gave in.

I leaned into him and kissed him back wrapping my soaked sweater sleeves around his neck, pulling him down to my level.

I bit on his lip out of excitement and smiled against them.

He chuckled.

“You should be kissed like this. Out of passion stead of anger.”
He smiled and leaned again to kiss me.

We were following a common pattern, a too intense emotion that only we can explain and feel.
It was too pure to express, to deep to write and too intense to flow.

He pulled back once again but continued pecking until I pulled back giggling,
“I wanted to do everything right this time but you had different plan, anyways.”

Still giggling when he pecked once again I said,
“You are too slow for your own good.”

And he continued pecking me still smiling.

“we better…”
I laughed when he pecked me again

“ask for…” 

peck,  

“help it’s..” 

peck

“stop…”

I kept my hand on his lips,
“It’s getting dark and we need a place to rest.”

He winked and pulled me by my waist,
“I love you.”

I smiled and hugged him.

“Is it me or it’s actually to filmy, two lost lovers, lost in the forest together, fighting, making up and then kissing under rain.”

He laughed.

“Way to spoil the mood, but yes this is.”
He said

He held me tightly against his chest, his hands wrapped around my back and he sighed,
“god, I missed you.”
He said in a mere whisper but I heard it.

I smiled.

Just then a thunder broke our bubble,
“We better hurry up.”
I nodded smiling.

He moved his hand forward for me, I kept my small hand in his and we made our way to the house.

The age of my wait was too much to endure, too much to live through but the anger and all the wait had to die one day.
And the moment he pulled me back- screamed all that he had, had me melted right there.

I was in love just by looking, I am someone who run upto the terrace just to have a last look, he lit love in my eyes for him once again, and all this once again gave me hope for a better chance this time.

He has a habit of keeping people around him to wait, because this is him – who loves to wait by himself, the wait he cause is not intentional though, he likes to maintain his pace.

And me being me, I am promising us right this instant, I will pull you closer; break all your waiting rules till life.

This is something I definitely wish for.

.

.

Rudra knocked.

Once, then twice, it started raining fast again and this time with a lot of lightening.

I made a click sound from my mouth and was about to knock by myself—well my plan was to pound but… it’s okay, a voice came from inside,

“Theher jaa ariyan main… do pal chain na h tennu
(Stay, I am coming, you can’t even wait for a while.”

Came a woman’s voice from the other side of the door.

The door flung open,
“I told you to take her with you, you can’t even stay away from her… for god’s sake you were just repairing the window outside my room. Majnu ki aulad.”

She was busy cursing and was occupied wiping her hands with the kitchen apron she was wearing, that she didn’t noticed we are strangers standing outside her door and turned to walk back inside.

Rudra and I exchanged looks and both of our’s eyes were shining with amusement regardless to our condition.

I turned to look back towards the staircase of the front porch of the house, I was actually planning a runaway.

Imagine a scene, where there was a house all big and wooden in the middle of nowhere, beautiful but it was too dark to understand the structure, the house was giving you a fright.
In a jungle at night, you are lost and all hungry, in the need for a shelter, you walk in and knock on the door and found a old woman cursing, she was cooking by the costume you assumed and was listening to old Rajesh Khanna tracks in the background. What do you think?

Scary enough!

I clutched on Rudra’s arm and eyed him to run when another voice caught my attention.

“Siddharth?”
another woman’s voice called and soon she came into view.
Her eyes grew big when she saw who we are.

“I’m sorry, she thought you are my husband. Can I help you?”

She was pretty the only thought came into my mind. She was standing there her fingers intertwined in front of her, a smile plastered on her face, a warm welcoming smile reminding me of my sister.

She was tall, taller than me, she was fair, fairer than me, she was beautiful, more beautiful than me.

“Er… Actually we are lost…um… we were in a camp with our friends and lost our crew due to the landslide and… w-we need a place to stay…” even Rudra stammered in front of her

She smiled even wider. I looked from Rudra to her.

She widened her eyes a little and they glittered with something very pure, and shook her head shyly, my eyes widened even.

What the hell is she doing?

The house is haunted!

An old cursing woman and a mad smiling young woman what a trap!

I need to take Rudra out of here before it’s too late. I looked at Rudra who was looking at her with furrowed eyebrows.

I cocked one of my eyebrows at her, her behavior is strange yet I get elder sister feeling from her—yep,  something is wrong with me. Definitely.

Like she broke out of her daze, she cleared her throat,
“Excuse me for my… you get inside, right now.” she said blushing to someone behind us, in the fiercest way she can muster.

I turned and came face to face with a man taller than Rudra by an inch, sharp jaw graced by a shade of slight black beard, a nose quite well sculpted and eyes big deep brown looking at us in a calculating way.

He shrugged the raincoat off him and hung it beside the front door wall.

“Excuse me” he asked for space and stood beside the woman never leaving her face, he eyed her with too much adoration that I almost died.

I thought only Seher and Aditya can make me feel this way.

“Siddharth Khanna, how may I help you?” he asked Rudra extending his hand, introducing himself

This time Rudra is in his full form, no more affected by the beautiful woman standing beside her handsome husband.
“Rudra Sinha, and this is Manzar my…”

“Wife!” the woman beside the man said on our behalf, my eyes shot upto to her and she said something through her eyes which means to follow her.

Smiling I nodded at her and then at her husband.

She turned to her husband,
“They are lost, need a place to spend the night. They might be hungry too and Siddharth… it’s raining.”

She said slight scrunching her nose, looking like a child

He nodded and smiled at her,
“It’s okay you can spend the night, come on inside.”

“My name is Anusha by the way, you look exactly like my younger sister.”
the lady extended her hand to me

So do you.

“ Manzar Saini” I shook hands with her.

Her husband, Siddharth, asked Rudra to keep his bag near the door, she followed my gaze and smiled,
“Don’t tell him you guys are not married, or else Siddharth will go all Sherlock on you two.”

“Who are they?” came a voice from the left, the kitchen.

“Bebe… oh this is my Bebe. Bebe this is Manzar and he is her… husband Rudra”
she motioned towards her husband who was talking to Rudra and taking him to some room.

“I’ll  get him changed.”
He called looking at his wife

She smiled when he winked at her, shaking her head she turned to me and Bebe still blushing,

“They lost their crew because of the landslide and need a shelter to spend the night.”

“Of course”
Her grandmother smirked at me

My eyes grew bigger, and Anusha laughed.
“I will fetch you some clothes… be right back.”

She walked in the direction of her husband still laughing, leaving me and her grandmother behind.

Her grandmother asked me to follow and dragged a chair from the dining table for me sit in the kitchen.

I was sitting facing the center counter of the kitchen behind Bebe, her back was facing me, she was cooking dinner.

“Here drink this, you will feel better.”
She handed me a cup of coffee along with a fresh hand towel,

“Thank you” I said taking the cup to my lips

“It’s decafe, I hope you are okay with it. They both don’t drink coffee and I drink only decafe so…” she said shrugging and sat beside me on another chair.

“It’s fine.” I smiled.

“We saw you… if you are wondering why she was smiling this much.”

I looked confused at her.

“where out at some distance,  you two guys were like… fighting and then  kissi…”

“Bebe!”
came Anusha to my rescue smiling, she pursed her lips, widening her eyes at Bebe and asking her to shut up.

I blushed deep red.

“Aren’t you cute!” said Bebe rubbing my arm, I even more ducked down in my seat

Anusha laughed,
“It’s fine… we were just cooking and then Bebe happen to notice you two, initially we thought you are some locals fighting and then making up but when you stepped on our door, well I was shocked.”

I nodded lamely.

“You aren’t husband and wife are you?” Bebe asked

I looked at Anusha wide eyes, she was mirroring my expression, horror.

“NO” I admitted

Laughed Bebe,
“Oh honey, you should be jealous them”
she said to Anusha

Anusha looked at her rubbing her forehead embarrassed,
“See these two youngsters, new love, young love, girlfriend and boyfriend… so in love. Lost in the forest… how romantic!”

“and then there are you two, married for 4 years, two twins, pain in the ass… one Mum’s heart and other Daddy’s soul. You two have a life after them too. Together.”
She mocked Anusha, some inside taunt, I assume.

“Bebe” Anusha whined and looked at me embarrassed

I smiled.

“that’s why I’m here accompanying them, away from the city life, away from their kids and family. I am keeping a check on them, you know. Learn something.” Bebe scolded.

“Oh leave it Bebe, you only wanted to tag along, it was my plan to stay here… you just wanted to be the third wheel on our vacation.”

Came Siddharth’s voice from the living room, he made his way to us

“Point”
Anusha whispered slightly beside me, picking up a cranberry from the fruit basket kept on the counter, she kept her gaze on the table, leaning on front-wards

“Ha ha ha… I just wanted you two to enjoy that is it. And in return what I get.”
She whined and kept a hand on my shoulder turned to face the other wall, I peeked and saw her smiling

“Back to acting Bebe?”
Siddharth asked laughing

“Ever the Majnu.”
Bebe murmured and walked back to cooking.

“Rudra is in that room, here, your change of clothes, towels are in there too… call me if you need anything.”
Anusha said to me and I left the kitchen.

Standing at the doorstep I turned to look back at them, Anusha still leaning against the counter eating another berry when her husband stood just behind her, by her expression she knew he will do such thing.

He held her waist and turned her to face him, a half eaten berry still in her hand she shoved it in his mouth, he made a pout before gulping it down and keeping the seed on the table.
Started leaning.

She warned him about Bebe standing behind them, working.

He dragged her to another corner of the house away from the kitchen, and just like that they both disappeared.

Leaving me smiling.

A happy-sweet family I reckoned, a 5 year old married couple on a vacation to cherish their love and a caring grandmother accompanying them, they are strangers but still don’t feel like strangers to me, just like my sister and her husband.

.

.

The moment I stepped inside the room, I saw their family pictures, a big wall behind the headboard with a portrait of two kids.

The girl riding the boy’s back, a toothy grin on their faces. I smiled at them.

Then to the side tables there was a picture of both Anusha and Siddharth in the same pose, where she was kissing his cheek.

Love marriage I assume.

I kept the clothes she gave me on the bed and slipped out my wet shoes trying really hard to not to fall on the bed, I was still soaked.

I took both my shoes and socks off me and soon my hoodie followed, I stood there in my sports bra when the bathroom door flung open and Rudra walked out.

I panicked and he was still.

I was all exposed in front of him but his eyes never going down only staying on my face.

I looked to my left and right, a thought of covering myself again with the hoodie came, but when I looked at it, the hoodie was now lying near my leg and I cringed with the thought of wearing it again.

I looked at Rudra only to freeze.

One moment he was at the bathroom door and the next right under my nose, only a breath apart.

He bathed, I can smell the soap off him and fresh pair of clothes were speaking for themselves.

He held my waist, “You didn’t replied back when I said I love you.” He asked

I gulped due to the vulnerable situation I was in.

He leaned down his nose now brushing my earlobe, my breathe hitched, I held onto his forearms for supports, as if they are my cane.

He nuzzled my skin until he reached my throat, he left a soft kiss there and brought his face back to mine.

Gazing into my eyes he said,
“This time I’ll do everything perfectly. No more waits and no more cowardice.”

His nose touching mine, I was backed up against the wall, body flatly pressed with his, breath shallow and fast.

The up and down of his chest was also visible to me, he grazed his nose with mine and kissed my upper lip, once and then twice.

His lips merely touching mine, but the simple brushing of our lips was enough to make my bones go all mushy.

Once again when he moved his face down to peck my lips I kissed him back, his lower lips between mine.
He smiled.

“Go fresh up, I am outside with them. They remind me a lot more of Seher and Aditya.”
I nodded and rushed inside the bathroom.

I love him.

This time no waits, no delays.

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