'Tell me are you dying to be with me, like I'm living to be with you.'

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Manzar's POV

I hate this.

I totally hate this.

Grumpily, lost in my irritation, I glared at my reflection into the mirror and then continued applying eyeliner on my eyelids.

Once done, I inspected it. Well, there is still something I’m capable of doing nicely, and moved to apply my lip gloss.

Last night I didn’t get a blink of sleep, I was unable to shut my eyes even for a minute, his voice always coming into my brain, more my heart.

He is still the same, same voice, same charm, same smile and same eyes talking more than anything. I thought just like his physique, he must have grown too, rude now and too proud of himself, after all of his achievements. He is an IAS officer now, after all.

He is still having that guitar and the grey capo I bought for him, he didn’t change anything, neither from himself not from the things belonging to him.
His voice still holding so much emotions, and like always I was feeling every word of it, like they are directed to me, only me.

Or is it may be my heart who wants them to be directed that way?

Does every girl thinks that way, like when you have someone in your heart, that you totally despise their very presence?

Like you hate your crush the most?

I didn’t expected myself to be this weak in front of him, I’m still the same, I realized last night and the realization is killing me.

All the efforts I made till date are all waste I’ve realized that last night.

That is totally uncalled for.

I picked up the earrings for the day from the dresser and started wearing them.
The look on his face when he played those strings, the darkness of emotions in his eyes when he sung those words, still playing in my head.
He is regretting. Regretting every bit of it.

But regretting what?

Leaving me?

Or playing with my emotions?

I don’t want his pity.

A pair of hands on my stomach from behind pulled me back from my misery world,  “Ting- ding - ding - ding  - ding… ting - ding - ding - ding ting”

  the fingers were moving on my stomach slowly from lateral to medial direction, tingling everywhere knowing exactly what it makes me feel.

“Urvi, what are you doing?” I said clutching her finger on my stomach tightly.

She seems to have planned exactly the opposite, she continued tickling me, “Urvi, chorh (Leave) or I’ll slap you… hahahaha”

“Naa-aa”

“Hahahaha… leave” I couldn't stop it was hurting but making me laugh at the same time.

She started laughing too, “I’m never going to leave you, babe.” And then she kissed my cheek.

“Eeeeww… leave right away I need to sanitize my face now. ahahhaaa”

“Oh really!” and this time her grip on me tightened and dragged me quite a far from the dresser almost at the center of the room.

We were both laughing , tickling each other
-more she was tickling me.

“If it wouldn’t be me, knowing...you are extremely straight about the team you bat for, I would have doubted you are into Manzar, Urvi.”

We both paused and looked up to meet with a pair of eyes looking at us in utter shock.

Well, realizing our state anyone would’ve guessed we actually flow the other way around.

Urvi was holding me by my waist in half air and I was glued to her with no space for air to pass through.

Urvi and I shared a look, “Awww” we cooed together at her boyfriend and burst out laughing, once sober we again looked at each other and at Vansh, who was still looking at us but now annoyed.

We both ran upto him and side hugging kissed his cheeks,

pinching his cheek I replied, “It took you so long to realize about her crushing on me”

“Very funny” he mocked in his fake girly sound

Urvi and I both kept our elbows on his shoulders (being him almost  8 inches taller than us, it wasn’t an easy job),

I fake picked on my nails and replied, “No best friends are real until people around them start doubting about them being Lesbos, you know?”

He shrugged off my elbow and turned to his Girl friend, “I hate her.” pointing at me

“No you don’t.”

“It’s true I do”

“Which part you hate more, because last time I checked you were standing on my door step convincing me to lie for you, to your parents, when you guys were out on date.”

“Except that part I hate all remaining of you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely” he held his head high and eyes narrowed at me

I cocked one of my eyebrow up and looked him in the eye,
“If you are, then lets make one thing very clear, you don’t hate someone who save your ass every fucking time. And about that service you don’t hate me for, I’m stopping it for future use” I batted my eyelids.

He looked at me for a long pause, “What… I mean do I hate you or not? You are still helping me in plans for our date? Or?”

I raised both of eyebrows this time, shrugged my shoulder, wrapping one hand over my stomach and started picking the nails of my other hand.

Urvi choked but sealed her lips once again, when Vansh looked at her still confused and then again at me.

Urvi couldn’t hold it anymore, she choked on her saliva and started coughing, I gave her a glass of water whereas Vansh was rubbing her back.

Once sober up she burst out laughing on his face, “She is messing with you, dumbo.” And smacked his forehead.

He groaned rubbing his forehead and mumbled, “Ever the lawyer”

“Don’t play these lawyer tactics of yours, on my Engineering ass”

“Aww” I once again pinched his cheek. Urvi walked up to him and I gave her the required space,

“And about your doubt on my sexual preference, I’ll make sure about making you aware of my choice” she said while drawing circles on his shirt clad chest.

Oh, my virgin eyes!

Well, not technically virgin. Does movies count?

I was looking at both of them wide eyes in disgust, that the feeling of bile rising my throat was totally noticeable, when their faces were just mere inches away in front of my own eyes.
I inhaled a deep breath, who I’m kidding?

No matter how much I hide it, my heart knows how much I’m dying to have this too.

“I am standing right here!” I kept a hand on both of their lips and pulled their faces apart, Vansh licked my palm instead,
“Ahh… why do you do that?” I wailed griping on my wirst as if I’ve been shot.

He laughed, “That’s your punishment for messing with me” hugging me by shoulder and then Urvi too walked upto me,

“I need to sanitize my palm too, now.” I whined

They both laughed and kissed both of my cheeks, “Chee…… leave me both of you” I struggled against their grip on me.

I was so busy with the close ones to my heart that I totally forget about a pair of brown eyes looking at us in envy.
Witnessing  our little drama since from the very beginning.

He thinks that I didn’t saw him – who is he fooling?

Just that I didn’t acknowledged his presence, doesn’t mean I didn’t saw him.

I can never ignore him. Acknowledge is another topic.

Maybe I was wrong but so was he, I didn’t gave him a chance to explain his action neither did he tried to, or maybe he did, but I blocked him out of my life.

I was too proud to accept his action of rejecting me, I didn’t deserve that, not that way.
I might’ve been wrong but I’m never going to accept it.

May be his intention is not clear to me, but I’m determined to make it tough for him – to get under me.

Little did I knew his chances to win are more than him to loose.

He never loose – I’ve been told a million times.
.

.

.

A long dining table, made up of oak wood was set for our breakfast. Everything was prepared thanks to Ruhani and Urvi, the early risers of the team.

As I’ve mentioned earlier also, the whole cabin is typically wooden art piece, beautiful yet charming.

I lost my heart the very first moment we’ve been here, 5 years ago.

I like it here, this is the place I’ve made the memories I should hate but end up cherishing them.

Vansh and Veer Bhai were taking orders of the coffee for everyone.

“Rudra! How do you take your coffee?”

Half sugar and milk.

“With half spoon sugar and some milk,” that sound of his voice made me blink my eyes several times to neutralize its effect.

I hate myself!

“And Manzar, you?”

Really Veer Bhai... just right after him you are asking me.

Jeez!

“Black!” I grumbled

And then came a straight remark, “like her soul!” that IAS officer joked

How cliché!

Everyone burst out laughing and my cheeks turned fiery but I held my head trying to look unaffected, I felt Ruhani and Urvi’s eyes on me, I met theirs and saw them smiling at me.

Rolling my eyes I continued eating my tasty south Indian breakfast – I played it cool, well I tried to.

After a few seconds I look to my right, two seats ahead. That man, he was still looking at me with a different poem written in his eyes.

I averted my gaze and just then my coffee came, I moved to pick the cup up and held it in front my eyes, the words resonating my ears.

‘Like my soul’

I smiled but was certain about it to be hidden from others, involuntarily once again I looked at him.

He was sipping his own coffee and looking at me. Seems like every attempt of mine failing terribly, his lopsided smile said it all.

He knew I smiled and that too on his joke.

“So…all set for today? We are up for the trek and rappelling?”

Yeh! I’m so excited.

Just fuck off!

I mean who takes rappelling as a entertaining sport? It’s more like a fitness test to me.

“Oh definitely!” Mr.IAS’s voice full of enthusiasm like the last time, the height of that what say – 42 feet high hill came flashing in front of my eyes, I had a sudden urge to puke out the Idli I just had for breakfast.

My eyes met his and he blinked at me reassuringly, waking  questions in my mind.

“Come on! Get ready guys, we need to get our necessities with us in a bag pack” Veer Bhai said rubbing his palms together, probably rubbing it warm.

Everyone got up and started scramming towards their rooms.

Fifteen minutes later, we came out of our respective rooms, I had every intention to avoid rappelling so I was dressed more in my daily attire, a plain grey A-line kurti and a black plazo with a sweater most definitely.

Urvi and Ruhani walked upto me, “All set?” asked Ruhani

“Guess so” I replied rubbing my palms together.

I don’t like winters at all. No offense.

“Mani, do you happen to have a safety pin with you, I kind of need it to get this thing together” she said struggling with the broken zip pull of her jacket.

“Sure!” I replied and was about to walk back inside my room when an annoying voice stopped me in my tracks, right in front of the doors.

“I don’t know how few people manage to look in 50s when they are still far from their 30s itself.”

My eyes moved towards the direction, I said nothing but it hurt my ego. It was the words which affected me or was it the comment of calling me old.

“Are you calling me old, Rudra?” Ruhani asked offended

“No Ruh! Of course not! It was just a fact I was stating, wasn’t directed towards anyone.” He reasoned glancing at me for a quick micro seconds

“ And especially not towards someone wearing granny clothes” Vansh completed and through my peripheral vision I noticed him smirking at me standing beside the IAS officer.

The ass of an Officer was caught smirking too.

The nerve of him!

Ruhani giggled and just then my eyes rested on a small stick to my left beside a flower pot. I acted instantly and aimed it at him.

Vansh was not expecting it because the stick landed right on his shoulder, hitting him, “Oww!” he whined rubbing his shoulder.

And walked inside my room.

“I am old!”

“50 years old!”

“Argh! I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you all!”

“What happened to you, grumpy pants?” Urvi asked,

I gave her my best glare. Seriously! You have to joke around right now?!

I shuffled through my bags and pulled out my sports outfit. Well, they need to know I am young, still. And that too with a body I am confident about.

“Here your safety pins.” I gave a pair to Urvi and she asked me for help.

Once Urvi left with both our back packs I changed into a pair of my addidas black legging, black sports bra and white sweatshirt over it, tied my shoe laces and walk out with my head held high.

Time to kick their asses!

Or min...

No!

I didn’t said anything.

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I know I'm updating slowly these days but trust me once I'm done dealing with my busy of a schedule, I'll be regular.

Hope you like the chapter... Its about to get more interesting.

With love,
Ankita

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