~Few Months Later~

Katniss's P.O.V.

Labor should be more like how the TV shows and movies depict it; fast-paced with high drama, but ultimately simple and relatively painless.

But I wasn't even sure I was in labor. There was no sudden gushing of water to signal its start, I didn't have contractions that I was timing perfectly, and I didn't scream, "It's time!" while Peeta ran around frantically.

"Are you okay?" he asked for the second time, watching me with concern as he rubbed at my back again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, wincing again as it ached.

"Do you think we should go to the hospital?"

"No, it's okay," I insisted. "It's probably nothing."

"Katniss, you were due six days ago. Maybe you're actually in labor."

"I'm fine!"

Peeta ignored me and went to the first floor closet, grabbing the hospital bag they had packed together several weeks earlier. "Come on, let's go."

I backed away like a petulant toddler. "No! I'm fine!"

"Katniss, we have to go to the hospital now. If you're fine, they'll send us home."

'But they won't!' I thought frantically. They would just say, 'Well, since you're here and already overdue...' and I wasn't ready for that. I just wasn't ready.

He took my hand and led me to the car, promising that it would be okay, and twenty minutes later, I was in a hospital bed, a nurse telling me to relax as she checked my cervix.

I glared at Peeta from across the room, wincing as the woman probed me painfully. "Well, you're four centimeters dilated!" she said, smiling broadly as she wiggled her fingers. "Congratulations, you're going to have a baby today."

"This is all your fault," I said to Peeta as soon as they were alone again.

"Yeah, you're definitely in labor if you're saying that to me," he smiled.

"I'm serious! I just needed a few more days. Nothing's ready at home!"

"What are you talking about? Everything's ready! And it's not like labor would have stopped if we didn't come here. Did you want to have the baby in the kitchen?"

There was a knock on the door, and Finnick entered once Peeta gave him the all clear. "How are you feeling, Champ?" he asked, massaging her shoulder. "Annie's getting off work early to be here, and Prim's on her way."

"My parents are flying in from Florida tonight," Peeta added after checking his phone.

"Great," I muttered, thoroughly annoyed. Annie was not someone you wanted around in case of an emergency, and Prim would probably insist on delivering the baby herself. And Peeta's parents...ugh, the last thing I needed was his mother glaring at me as I pushed.

"Isn't this exciting?" Finnick said, and I rolled my eyes. "Hey, can I be in here for the delivery?"

"No!"

"Oh come on, I'll stay up near your head!"

"No!" I repeated loudly, and then my body twisted in pain as another contraction hit. "Owww, dammit, I hate you both."

"Hey, man, maybe you should go," Peeta said gently, trying to lead Finnick out of the room. "Come back when she's a little more drugged up."

"Aww, Katniss," he said, pleading. "Come on, babies love me. My perfectly symmetrical face calms them down."

"Get. Out."

Peeta was back at my side in an instant, staring at the monitor with dread. "Another contraction is coming," he warned, taking my hand. I cried out as it hit me, and all I wanted was more time. Just a few more days.

The pain grew more unbearable as the hours ticked by, and finally it was time for my epidural. I held on to Peeta as they administered the medicine, and then as soon as I could, I slept.

"You're at 10," the nurse announced several hours later after another check. "We're ready for you to start pushing as soon as you are."

"I think I'm ready," I said, reaching for Peeta's hand again. At this point I just wanted it over with. A few pushes and it'd be done, and maybe I could sleep some more.

But it wasn't just a few pushes. It took nearly an hour for me to make real progress, and my entire body was in agony, the epidural a distant memory at that point. "I can't do this anymore," I cried, pained and frustrated.

"Yes, you can," Peeta said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "You're doing an amazing job. Just a little more."

The doctor and nurses coached me through it, and inch by inch, I was closer to meeting their child. "Another two pushes or so should do it," the OB announced. "Hold for ten!"

I took a deep breath and pushed, waiting as the doctor took his sweet time in counting. "That was at least 15 seconds!" I cried out after. "Count with Mississippies!"

He ignored me, his focus elsewhere. "One more push, Katniss. You can do it!"

I closed my eyes and held Peeta's hand, and I thought about my father.

It was my favorite memory from childhood, years before he died. They were fishing, and I had snagged a huge bass, and I was yelling for his help to reel it in but he insisted I could do it on my own.

"Pull now, sweetie!" he called, and I used every ounce of my strength to drag in my line.

He laughed when I finally succeeded, and I fell down in the boat, exhausted, as he cleaned the fish.

"My arms are sore!" I complained.

"But you did it," he said, tickling my chin. "Because you can do anything."

But when my baby boy comes out he isn't crying and he looks purple. The nurses and doctors start to frantically help my baby. They take him out of the room and I begin to scream "where's my baby?"

Peeta squeezes my hand and tries to smile. "He is going to be okay." His blue eyes are so blue and full of tears that he is trying to fight back.

When the doctor comes back in he looks at us both and I know. "No. No. Where's my baby."

"Mr. and Mrs. Mellark I'm sorry."

Peeta pulls me into his arms as he sits on the bed.

"No!" I push my head in his chest and scream against him. "No!" I feel Peetas tears hit the top of my head. I didn't even get to hold my baby.

"What happened to him?" Peeta questions the doctor.

"The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and he couldn't breathe." I sob harder into Peetas chest knowing that the baby died inside me. "I'm so sorry for your loss." The doctor left the room quietly shutting the door behind him. I feel like I've been hit by a truck a thousand times. I feel so numb to the world, I'm in pain everywhere but I feel most of the pain in my heart. I can feel it breaking and it hurts so much. Peeta promised that this baby would bring nothing but joy and happiness and I'm so angry that he lied. I cry myself to sleep huddled against Peeta's chest.

When I wake up it's hard to open my eyes because they swelled from crying so much. I'm intertwined with Peeta on the bed. I lift my head from his chest and look at his puffy eyes. He looks so young when he sleeps. I can't help but to cry some more. I must have started to weep because Peeta's eye shot open and cradles me in his lap and rocks us back and forth.

It didn't take long for me to push myself away from Peeta. Every time I look at him I can't help but to see him holding our baby and how happy I can't make him. All he ever wanted was a baby and I couldn't even give him that. I have completely failed him and our baby. I sleep in the guest room because I can't even look him in the eyes. He leaves notes on the pillow next to me telling me how much he loves me before he goes to work. How can he love me? I've ruined us. All I do is lay on my side and stare at a blank wall, I haven't even been in our babies room since that horrible day. There are days where I feel paralyzed and don't move for days unless Peeta comes to take care of me. Sometimes I smell liquor on him, I can tell that's how he tries to help with the pain he feels. When I finally feel the need to get up, I sit up and I look at the clock and it says three a.m. My feet touch the ice cold wooden floor and it feels alien to be walking. I walk to the kitchen to turn on the light when I hear weeping up stairs. When I reach our bedroom Peeta's facing the window but I can see his side move up and down with his breathing.

"Peeta?" The weeping stops but then continues, so I lay in front of him and wrap my arms around him drawing him closer. "I'm sorry!" I say as tears start to swim in my eyes. "All you do is try to make you happy and the only thing that could make you happy I couldn't even do right."

He wraps his arms around me placing his forehead against mine. I bring my hand up to wipe away the tears rolling down his cheeks and his eyes. "You are what makes me happy." Peeta squeaks. "I love you." He kissed me long and hard.