"I thought we talked about this?" Dillion says, shifting in position so he can give me his full attention. It is only now that I realize I really don't want it.

"Did you not hear a word I told you during Winter Break?"

"Come on, Dillion! That was months ago. Cat is over Liam and..."

"You really don't get it, do you?" He's looking at me like I don't have a brain cell in my head.

"What?"

"It's not about you. It's not about Liam. It's about Cat. You come charging in on your white horse rescuing her from this INSANE situation she finds herself in how else is she supposed to feel towards you but in awe, grateful, safe, protected... which can easily translate itself into loved."

"I do love her. I love that baby. I want us to be a family. How is that a bad thing?" I challenge. 

I stand up and begin pacing. Of all of Cat's family members, I thought Dillion would be the easy sell that Cat and I getting married is a good idea. If he doesn't approve, what chance do I have of convincing her parents we belong together?

"She's not ready."

Dillion's words hit me in the face like a physical punch to the gut.

"Look, kid. I know you love her. I don't doubt she loves you too, but I specifically told you to go slow. You don't want to become the rebound guy..."

"I AM definitely NOT..."

Dillion holds up his hand to stay my words. "Let me finish."

It was difficult, but I gestured for him to continue, literally biting my tongue to keep from interrupting him.

"Cat needs time. She's never been on her own. She's never..." he pauses, searching obviously for the right words, "she hasn't figured out who she is as a person yet, not on her own. She's always had someone looking out for her, from my Dad to Liam, to you. She's always been looking out for someone else, my mom, William, this baby, even me. You should have given her time to figure herself out first."

"I would never stand in her way," I say lamely.

"I don't doubt it, but examine your own thoughts on why you are rushing things."

"I'm not rushing things! We are engaged, but I'm not pressing Cat for a date. I don't care if we are engaged for 2-3 years before we get married. So long as I'm with her I'm happy."

Dillion has a sad, almost pitying expression on his face. "You got engaged to her to lock her in, to keep her by your side because you're afraid, Alex. You're afraid if you didn't, you'd lose her and that means you don't just lose her, but the baby and therefore your chance of a real family."

He hit me with the truth so dead on my breath whooshed out of my lungs and I felt a little light-headed. He stood up and led me back to the sofa, and I was grateful to sit down for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out so... harsh."

"No. You're only telling me what I already know is true. I'm not just scared, Dillion. I'm terrified."

Dillion puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me. "I get it. I've been there. Man, have I walked in those shoes, but there are some things in this life you have to admit you can't control. It's like that Serenity Prayer they teach you in AA. I say it to myself every day, 'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference'."

"Cat told me how you lost your brother. You just said upstairs that you have no family. So I can only assume that either you've lost them too, or you're estranged from them. That's something else I can relate to, but this... this isn't the way to go about fixing that."

"If you're asking me to walk away, I won't. I can't." I look down. I shake my head. My heart feels betrayed even thinking it, let alone saying the words out loud.

"I'm just saying take care with Cat that she doesn't take that decision out of your hands."

My head shoots up. "You think she'll walk away from me?"

Dillion presses his lips together. "I can't say. I don't know. I just don't want to see either of you getting hurt. I know firsthand how feelings that strong can destroy a person."

"You?"

"Me."

His look is so wretched I can tell the mere thought of what happened still had the power to hurt him, haunt him, and I definitely knew a little something about that.

"What happened?"

"I was young, stupid and madly in love. It turned out to be a deadly combination for me. The truth of what happened to me I've shared with few people not even Cat knows the entire truth because it involved someone she knew."

"I'm sorry you're right I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's alright, Man. Its ancient history now."

He settles in at the other end of the sofa and I could tell he was trying to decide what to tell me, or if he should tell me. I knew he decided by the nearly imperceptible nod to his head.

"Cat was in her senior year when everything happened. She and I are 4 years apart in age. So when she was to graduate High School I was to graduate from college."

He takes in a deep breath and exhales slowly. "Look I'm only telling you this so you understand, that sometimes things feel so damn right but through no fault of your own... okay maybe some fault of your own things happen and well life doesn't always play fair."

I nodded, I understood because I did more than he realized.

"I was dating the girl for nearly two years. Like you, I knew I was going to marry her. There was no doubt in my mind. She was the one for me. I can honestly tell you I've never felt the same way for another girl since."

"What about Brittany?" I ventured to ask.

"Brittany?" Dillion scoffs at the notion. "She's a really sweet girl, but no one could compare to this girl. She had me locked up, heart and soul. So believe me when I tell you I understand your need to put a ring on Cat's finger."

"If you were so much in love, where did all go wrong?"

"We dated in secret. Cat didn't know about it. Nobody could because her parents didn't approve. They had already warned me to stay away from her but I couldn't, wouldn't." He smiles at me sadly, "Sound familiar?"

I look away for a moment. He had tried to warn me. William too. When I looked back at him, he continued.

"It was the night of her senior prom. She, of course, went with someone else and it killed me, but we made up this secret plan. Cat and a few other girlfriends booked a room at the hotel that the prom was being held at. They figured it would be easier than returning home at 3 in the morning. It also meant they didn't have to pay for the limo driver's return trip home. They would just chip in for a taxi after breakfast and head home the next day."

"I booked a room in the same hotel. When the other girls were asleep, she was going to sneak out and meet me. It was the first night her and I... well."

It surprised me Dillion suddenly looked awkward talking about sex. Normally he's so open about it. It just went to prove even further how much he loved this girl. What happened between them was sacred.

"Her date kept trying to convince her to sleep with him during the dance, especially when he found out she was staying over. Turns out, some of the boys had rented a room, too."

My brain immediately went to Cat and Liam and wondering if they... and I had to shut my brain down before it went too far down that track. Of course they did. I just didn't need to be thinking about it.

"We probably would have gotten away with it if he hadn't seen her sneaking out of her room. He followed her and saw what room she had gotten into. So mad that she wouldn't sleep with him but was obviously hooking up with someone else, he called her parents."

"They had a feeling it was me. They called the hotel to confirm that I had a room there and the room number. They did nothing that night. Probably figured the deed was done and there wasn't anything they could do about it, but the next day the cops showed up at my house to arrest me for having sex with a minor. She was only a few weeks from her 18th birthday. In hindsight, we probably should have waited, but it seemed an airtight plan. We were stupid and thought there was no way we could get caught."

"My parents posted bail. Her parents forced me to break up with her. I still regret how I did it, but I was too ashamed to let her know I was being hauled off to jail, a convicted sex offender. I thought it best she doesn't know. No sense in her being dragged down by my fate."

"So wait, she never knew why you left? You just up and disappeared on her?"

"I'm not proud of what I did, but yeah. She thought I left her. That I didn't want her. That I quit school and went off backpacking through Europe," Dillion laughs harshly.

"My parents told Cat the cops arrested me for a DUI. I spent a year in prison. She'd visit me whenever she could, wrote to me even more. I asked her not to tell anyone because I was ashamed and she promised she wouldn't. After my stint in prison, I tried to return home, but my father wouldn't allow it."

"I still had 3 years probation. I couldn't leave the state and had no place to live, so I was on the street or in a shelter. I did what odd jobs I could pick up to get money to pay for the essentials: food, booze, and phone. Food is obvious, booze to drown my sorrows and my phone so I'd make my meetings with my probation officer and he could call whenever he wanted to check-in."

"Why couldn't you return to college?"

"They banned me. They didn't want a convicted sex offender attending their school."

"But it was consensual," I said, shocked that his entire life could be ruined by him having sex with the girl he was in love with and who loved him.

"Doesn't matter. She was 17, and I was 4 years older than her. I had no choice but to plead guilty. So 1 year in prison, 3 years probation. Thankfully, our state has "Romeo and Juliet laws" so with the help of my lawyer and my probation officer, they got the court to forgo having me register as a sex offender. I had to agree to undergo psychological treatment for my "problem"." He says with air quotes and a disgusted look upon his face. "But if I did it and kept up with my probation, the judge said he'd wipe my record clean."

"So wait, does this mean your probation is finally over?"

He nodded his head yes. This was a lot to take in.

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

Dillion shrugged. "Life sometimes takes you down paths you never intended to go, but I have to believe there's a reason."

"Can I ask another question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you come back here? After everything that happened with your parents, why are you living here now? How did you... forgive them?"

"I can see why you chose journalism. You go right to the hard-hitting questions. By the way, that was more than one."

"Sorry, you're right. It's none of my business."

"No, it's cool. I had an exceptional probation officer. He knew the total story. He didn't believe the judge's ruling was fair. He saw it headed me for self-destruction and well, he saved me. He persuaded, I should say, threatened me into going to AA. He found me a decent job. It was for minimum wage, but it was steady work. When he discovered I was sleeping on the streets, during bad weather days he'd pick me up and get me to a shelter or if it was full he'd let me crash on his couch."

"But how did your parents come back into play?" I just couldn't see how he could forgive them.

"Part of the steps of AA is learning to forgive those that hurt you and ask them for forgiveness in return. After all, you don't think it hurt them? Their son got himself arrested, labeled a sex offender, and became an alcoholic. Yeah, they could have handled things better, but I was an adult, Alex. They weren't supposed to fix my mistake."

"My dad's refusal to let me stay here was his way of letting me know it was time for me to be a man and put things right, and instead, I fell into self-pity. I let my entire life fall apart."

"Was it harsh? Absolutely. Should he have done it? I can't say. My problems would have become their problems. Problems I may have never solved. I may have never gotten clean. I may have never set my life right if they had let me stay."

I let out a rush of air. "How long were you homeless?"

"About a year and a half before I got my shit together."

"Did Cat ever find out?"

"That I was homeless, yeah. She was pretty instrumental in helping me get back on track. She is a big reason I stick with AA, and I'm pretty sure she's the reason they took me back."

"Dillion, I get what you're saying and if Cat ever needed to walk away. It would kill me but if that's what she needed. I would do it."

Dillion just nodded. But I can tell he doesn't believe me. Truthfully, I'm uncertain, I believe myself.

"There you are?" Cat came down the stairs.

"Hey! Boy's club! No girls allowed," Dillion teased.

"I could very well be carrying your nephew so, I should get in by proxy."

Dillion sighs. "You got me there, little sis. But it's only a temporary stay to the rules. Once this kid is out and if it's a girl, your privileges will be rescinded."

Cat grins. "Fair enough. Mom's got lunch ready... so."

"We're coming," I tell her, and she smiles at me.

"Sorry for... you know." She looks about the room. It was good to know this wasn't her ideal situation either.

"Please," Dillion says, laughing. "With Dad's snoring and mom wearing earplugs to sleep in the same room with him, it'll be easier than ever for you to sneak down here."

Cat hit her brother in the chest.

"What wouldn't be the first time you've..."

"Okay then..." Cat says, interrupting him. "Whose hungry?"

Dillion laughed the entire way up the stairs. I went to follow, but Cat put her hand on my chest. "You okay? Whatever you and Dillion were talking about seemed sort of heavy."

"I'm good, Cat. Just a little disappointed to be spending the week without you."

"Oh, don't worry about that, like Dillion mentioned, I have my ways."

"Oh, really?"

Cat drapes her arms around my neck. She is standing on a step above me, which puts us at a more equal height. "Really," she says before leaning in to kiss me. Her kisses feel like home. Dillion is right. To lose her would destroy me. I hope and pray it never comes to that.

She pulls away and frowns a little. "Hey, don't worry. Everything is going to work out just fine."

I know she is talking about her parents and letting them know about us, but at this moment I really needed to hear those words.

"How do you know?" I ask, wishing I could feel so sure.

"Because you got me."

I sure hope so.