I let out a long slow breath and opened the letter with a pen that was sitting on the table in the room I was in. I unfold the letter and began reading it. It felt almost surreal to be reading something my father wrote. It was almost like I could hear his voice saying the words, as I read them to myself.

Dear Alex,

If you're reading this, then I never got to say what I wanted to say in person. I've put it off far too long and I'm sorry. Your mother is sick. I'm not sure what stage she may be by the time you read this but know I've taken care of everything should things get bad.

Her disease, Alzheimer's has been slowly robbing her from me. Symptoms first started showing up about a year after you told us about Aidan. At first I thought perhaps it was just denial. That she couldn't accept the fact that he was really gone, when I had to remind her he moved out and that he had died. But then she started exhibiting other signs, too. Once she was diagnosed I knew what was in store and that's when I had began making arrangements for her.

I knew you'd come back, Son. I knew you would do the right thing. I'm sorry the rift between us ever happened. I was too harsh on Aidan. I see that now, but it was hard not to blame myself for Aidan, for him being gay.

I paused, reading the letter. Blame himself? Why...? How would he think...? I couldn't fathom a reason, so I continued reading.

It's not Aidan's fault that he's gay. It's mine. I've known my entire life that I was gay.

Wait what?! I stared at the letter reading that part several times, thinking it must have been a slip of the pen, but then he just continued on...

You think social norms are bad now? I didn't accept it. My own father would have tried to beat it out of me if he ever knew. My mother I think had an idea, but if she did, she kept that discovery to herself.

As I got older, I thought of coming out, embracing that side of myself. I sought guidance. I can't say it was the best, but I learned to prioritize my wants. What I wanted more than being accepted, was I wanted a family.

As you can imagine those wants were very conflicting, but then I met your mother. She too wanted a family more than anything, she was totally accepting of me and I fell in love. I never meant to be such a miserable failure as a father.

I started the company to provide for our family. I wasn't ready for the success that it had. It quickly grew beyond me and had a life of its own, stealing mine from me. I couldn't keep up without giving it my full attention, and I missed out. I missed out on everything that I told myself that I ever wanted.

I missed out on our family, on you, on Aidan. I kept telling myself there would be more time but weeks became month, months became years and in the end, I lost you both. You have no idea how many decisions I am regretting at this moment.

I didn't mean to push Aidan away. I knew the life he chose would be difficult, and I feared dangerous. Aidan made his choice, but I wanted to protect him from it, but the more I tried to discourage him, the more adamant he became.

When you called, and we learned about Aidan's death. I didn't reach out to you because the news caused something inside of me to snap. I wasn't in my right mind for a while. I kept this information hidden from everyone I knew except your mother. She stood by my side and got me the help I needed.

I got better only to have her fall apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Now the business became more important than ever, because I needed it to take care of her, to take care of you, but I learned that I was sick.

I started having seizures. At first they thought it related to my emotional state, since I was already being treated for depression and anxiety, but then they discovered a tumor in my brain. It was inoperable. That's why I'm writing you this letter Alex because I know I'm on borrowed time.

Should anything happen to me, I've taken care of all arrangements for myself and for your mother. Get in touch with my lawyer. The will has everything laid out for you.

If you're reading this, then I've died suddenly and failed to reconcile with you, but please know I am truly sorry for all that I've done and all that I've failed to do. I doubt that is any consolation to you now, but it's all I have left to offer you. I'm sorry, Alex, that I wasn't a better father to you and to Aidan. That I let my dream of a family slip through my fingers and have left you with nothing but material possessions to take the place of the memories I should have created instead.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My father was gay, but he chose to have a family. He was mad at himself, not Aidan that Aidan was gay. He blamed himself because he couldn't protect his son, his worst fears realized. His son murdered for being gay.

I leaned back in the chair trying to take it all in, but my brain refused to comply. The letter made mention of my mother being accepting of my father but not if she was aware of my father being gay. I wasn't sure this was something I could even discuss with her. Last thing I would want to do is to add to the stress she was already experiencing.

I remember her words when she thought I was Aidan, about my father and how much he really loved him. I guess that was true. I ran my hand over my face. My elation in getting things done became replaced with the fatigue of depression. Something I hoped was temporary and not inherited from my Dad.

I flipped to the last page of the letter, uncertain I wanted to read more but believing getting this over with the best decision.

There is one more thing I need to inform you of. There is a woman in my office, she is my personal assistant, her name in Tina Worthington. She's special, Alex, and I need you to understand...

I continued to read on. My brain felt like it was about to explode. I thought learning my father was gay was about as crazy as things could get but it turned out I was wrong. I folded the letter up and placed it back in the envelope and put it in the bag with the rest of the contents of the box.

I came out of the little room and stood there for a moment trying to absorb the information I just learned. The teller came out to meet me.

"Mr. Bragin? Are you okay?"

Dazed, I blinked a few times and looked at the girl, handing her back the empty box.

"Fine, I'm fine," I stammered, knowing it was a complete lie, but I'm not about to bare my soul to a complete stranger.

With an unconvinced look on her face, she took the box and the key to put it back into place. She took the key from me, letting me know she placed the deposit into my account.

I thanked her and headed home.

Upon my arrival, I found Cat sitting on the sofa, flipping through a magazine. "You're back!" Cat said with a smile.

"Yeah," I said, taking a seat next to her.

Cat's face filled with concern. Her brows drew together as she put the magazine down. "Did something happen? You look... awful," Cat informed me.

"I..." I didn't know what to say, where to begin. "How are you, doing?" I asked instead, needing a moment of normalcy.

Cat frowned but said, "I'm good. Baby is good. You have me worried about you though?"

"I did good today," I said, wanting to focus on the positive. "I have made all the arrangements for the viewing and funeral. I got my mother's doctor to agree to release her for the viewing so long as I can make it private, which I'm sure the funeral home will agree to."

"That's good," Cat said hesitantly, knowing there was more I wasn't telling her.

"And I got to the bank to handle the accounts and emptied the safe deposit box. So I have the ball rolling on that."

"Good," Cat said, but continued to stare at me expectantly.

I let a slow sigh. "How's Tina doing?"

"She's fine. She was tired, and so is taking a nap. What aren't you telling me, Alex?" Cat wanted to know.

"In the box there was this letter..."

Cat's phone rings... she doesn't look at it.

"there was this letter and..."

The phone rings again. "Do you need to answer that?" I asked.

Cat looks at it and immediately says, "No. Go on." With one button click, she sent whom ever it was to voicemail.

"The letter... it was from my Dad to me."

"Wow," Cat said, "so he must have known there was a chance he wouldn't be around."

"Yeah, he knew," I told her. "He had a ..."

Her phone dings for a text message. She sighs, but doesn't pick up the phone.

"He had a brain..." Her phone dings several more times.

"Oh My God!" Cat exclaims. "Seriously?!" She picks up her phone, silences it, and puts it back down on the coffee table.

"Is something going on?" I asked, knowing the only person this persistent in talking to Cat is Liam.

"It's not important," Cat informs me, "please continue."

I felt the anger starting to well up in me. Normally, I have a better handle on my emotions but lack of sleep and the stress I've been under, as robbed me of my normal filters.

"Why do you still bother with him when he continues to upset you?" I demanded to know.

Cat looked surprised to be on the other side of my anger suddenly. "It's not a big deal. I'll handle it later."

I stand up from the couch. "You shouldn't have to 'handle' anything. If he wants to be involved with you, with this baby then he should make your life easier. If he's not then why the hell are you keep him in your life?"

Cat I could see was getting angry but took a deep breath and calmly replied, "I've explained this already. You know why?"

"Explain it again because from where I stand, he does nothing but make your life miserable and if he's willing to do that while you're pregnant. Do you really expect him to change when the baby is here?"

"I expect Liam to be Liam. I'm not asking him to change or suddenly become perfect. That's not realistic," Cat said loosing her cool a bit her voice rose to match my own.

"So your plan is to keep giving him excuses for his behavior in the hopes for what?" I asked, confused.

"I'm not giving him excuses. He's calling me because he didn't think it was right that I canceled the appointment. I told him rescheduling wouldn't cause a problem, but it is causing a problem for him because now he has to wait a few days and he's not happy with not knowing now. He's mad that I'm putting this appoint off to be with you. He's trying to say that the baby should come first, but I'm not interested in having this argument with him right now."

"That's just the point, Cat. What right does he have to argue about anything? This is the first time he's involved, and he's already stressing you out. Stress is the worst thing for you to deal with right now and he," I said point to the phone that continued to vibrate with messages from Liam during our argument, "doesn't give a damn about that."

"This is only happening because I texted him instead of calling him like I knew I should have," Cat explained.

"Tina's suggestion was sound. It's Liam who is unreasonable," I argued.

"But Tina doesn't know shit, about Liam. I do. I took her suggestion because I didn't want to deal with it. It was the easy out, but I know better. So, this," Cat said point to the phone that was still vibrating, "is the result."

"Then deal with it," I said, angry that Liam was interrupting. "I can't have a conversation with you with that thing buzzing every two seconds! I'm going to take a shower," and I stormed off, leaving Cat to do whatever the hell she wanted with Liam.

"Alex?" Cat called after me.

"It's fine, Cat. We'll talk later," I said, pausing a moment at the bottom of the stairs. When she said nothing further, I continued up to bathroom.

I punched the marble sink which was not one of my brighter ideas. In fact, it hurt... a lot, but I felt like tearing the bathroom apart. I settled for that one small display of my frustrations instead.

I tried to calm my mind, but it didn't want to comply. Why couldn't Cat just keep Liam out of her life? Things were so wonderful when she decided after that kiss to be done with him. That kiss? My anger added that fuel to fire. Then I was lucid and handled it perfectly, but now my anger wanted to punish Cat for letting it happen.

Am I playing the fool? Is she hoping to keep him in the loop in case she and I don't work out? Or if he changes, she'll take him back? It was hard not to remember how broken up Cat was over losing Liam. Would she have gone back to him if I weren't in the picture? I was pretty certain that was Liam's take on the situation.

I got into the shower and let the hot water beat my anger out of me. By the time it was over, I felt calmer. I stepped out only to realize I never collected new clothes to put on. I took the bath towel and wrapped it around my waist.

I stepped out of the bathroom and collided into Tina.

"Oomph, sorry I..." Tina became a little unsteady on her feet so I grabbed her shoulders to right her.

"You okay?" I asked, she looked up at me and blinked, she looked a little out of it. I knew I didn't hit into her that hard. "Tina?"

"I... I'm sorry... I have this killer headache," Tina said wincing, "and sometimes the pain makes me feel a little disoriented."

I opened the bathroom door, realized my clothes were still on the floor and collected them. "I'll wait out here until you're done in there. Just in case you need me."

"Guess not all knights wear shining armor," Tina giggled, glancing over at my nearly naked form, the reminder causing me to blush, which only made her giggle harder.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. You should get dressed. I don't think your fiancé would be too happy to see you standing guard dressed like that?" Tina suggested. I knew she was right but if Tina fell in the bathroom there were too many ways, she could hurt herself.

"Just hurry up," I said, pushing Tina lightly into the room and shutting the door. 

Out in the hall, I dressed in the clothes I had in my hand.  A minute or two later I heard the toilet flush and sigh. Good, she'll be coming out soon. I waited to hear her wash her hands, but I heard a thud. I open the door and Tina is out cold on the tile floor.

"Tina!" I scramble to get to her. I tap her face, I said her name again but I can't get Tina to respond. Fear grips my heart.

"CAT!!!!" I yelled, but I get no response. "Where the hell is she?" I complained. I dial 911 and call for an ambulance.

"Emergency Response."

"Yes, my name is Alex Bragin. I need an ambulance sent to 4844 Lenola Rd."

"What is the problem, sir?"

"A guest in my house has passed out and not responding. She has recently suffered a concussion."

"The ambulance is on its way. Is she breathing?"

"Yes. She is just not responsive to touch or my calling her name. She's out cold."

"Do you know CPR should she stop breathing?"

"Yes," I told her.

"Okay then, they should be there shortly."

"Thank you!" I kneel next to Tina. I hold her hand, praying she'll be okay.

I have no concept of time, but it seemed within moments I could hear the sirens of the ambulance. I reluctantly left Tina and raced down the stairs to open up the gate so they could come in, only to discover the front door open.

"What the hell?!" I step outside as the ambulance pulls in. Cat comes racing up the steps.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"Where the hell were you?!" I barked. The EMT's stop and I direct them where to go.

"I.." Cat looked back and I'd seen Liam standing by the gate. "Because I wasn't answering my texts he came here. I didn't want him in the house. So I met him by his car."

I opened my mouth to say something but I knew nothing good would come out of it so I clamped it shut nodded and walked back into the house. Cat was right on my heels.

"Alex what's wrong? Is it Tina?!" Cat asked as she followed me but the EMTs carrying Tina on a gurney down the steps answered her question.

I followed them out to the ambulance and asked if I could go with them and they agreed. I went to climb in behind them but Cat had hold of my arm.

"Alex? Please? How can I help?" Cat pleaded, the guilt that she felt over not being in the house written clearly on her face.

I pulled my arm away. "I got this," I said getting into the back of the ambulance. "I'll call you later and the EMT shut the door. I looked over at Tina who looked as pale as death.

"What's wrong with her? No way to know until we get her to the hospital and do some scans. You said she suffered a concussion?"

"Yes."

"How long ago did the injury occur?"

"A few days ago."

"Did she lose consciousness when it happened?"

"I believe so but I wasn't present when it happened."

"Did you observe any other changes in alertness, speaking, coordination?"

"She complained of a severe headache and feeling disoriented."

"Dizzy? Fuzzy headed? Visions blurred?"

"I'm not exactly sure. She didn't get time to explain before she fell while in the bathroom."

"The good news is it doesn't look like she's sustained any injuries in the fall, her vitals are strong, but unfortunately you'll have to wait until they're done with her at the hospital before you'll know any more."

"Thank you," I said.

When they pulled up, Tina was immediately taken in. I had to wait and so I waited.