I wonder where to sit the three of us for dinner when there are only two stools. It is clear by the furniture arrangement that Alex is not one for entertaining guests. He doesn't even have a full set of dishes. I don't have the pots and pans I require, but I get creative and somehow pull it off. 

I decide to have us eat at the coffee table. The place settings are paper plates, plastic utensils, and dinner napkins I had recently purchased at the grocery store. The decaf coffee is brewing, and I place a candle at the center of the table. There, everything is perfect.

Alex comes out of the bedroom. Having just taken a shower, his hair is still wet and his feet are bare, but thankfully the rest of him is fully clothed. He takes a deep breath and sighs. "It smells so good in here."

I can't help but smile. He looks past me at the coffee table. "Are we having Indian food tonight?" he asks, noticing the pillows on the floor and the coffee table set.

I feel timid. I want him to be okay with all of this. "No, I just... I wasn't sure where else we would all fit."

"Good point. Note to self... buy a folding table and chairs." He walks over and picks up the candle. He opens some drawer in the kitchen and pulls out a torch lighter and lights up the wick.

"Well, it's now official," he chuckles, placing the candle back in the center of the table. "I am definitely living with a woman."

"Are you saying that because there is now a candle on the table?" I say with my hands on my hips and a smirk on my lips.

"Men don't buy candles," Alex reasons.

"Not even gay men?" I counter.

He presses his lips together in deep thought, his eyes drift to the ceiling. "Okay," he concedes, "perhaps a gay man would, but personally I have never found a need."

"You have no romance in your soul," I tell him and wander back into the kitchen to check on dinner.

"That's a bit of leap."

I over at him in surprise at his somewhat offended tone. 

"There are many ways to show someone you care, Cat."

"I know... I was only teasing. I meant nothing by it." He looks hurt and I wish I could take the stupid comment back.

"I don't think you do know, but I have faith you'll figure it out."

I am about to ask him what he means by that when there is a knock on the door. Alex opens it up and William immediately gives him a hug.

"Hey there, brother!" William hands him a bottle of what looks like wine.

"Smells good in here, Cat. You didn't make...?" He rushes over to the oven to check. "You did!"

"Oh, man. Are you in for a good meal tonight, my friend!" William looks over at Alex, who is still looking oddly at me. Alex puts the bottle on the counter.

"Her lasagna is to die for."

I giggle nervously. "Thanks for the high praise, now I just have to live up to it."

William kisses my cheek. "Baby girl, you always exceed expectations. Thanks for asking me for dinner. It... means a lot to me."

"Well, I promised we'd talk when I was ready. So... I'm ready." A timer goes off that I tap into silence. "And apparently, so is dinner. If you gentlemen will have a seat, I'll bring it out to you."

William looks around and spots the coffee table that's set for dinner. He laughs. "Cozy," he says, taking a seat on a pillow.

"Do you want any help?" Alex offers.

"I got it," I tell him, wishing I could have had five more minutes to straighten out whatever upset him before William walked in the door. I bring over a small dinner salad for each of us and place them on the table.

"The lasagna needs some time to cool, so I thought we could start with this."

"Sounds good to me," William says as Alex takes the spot across from William, which leaves me the spot right next to William.

I go back for the bottle and 3 glasses, all mismatched, but no one seems to mind when I place them on the table.

I open the bottle and pour some in each glass, but as I go to pour some in mine, I nearly spill it, as I quickly have to stop. Alex's hand is hovering over the glass.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Cat."

"What isn't?" 

William too gives Alex a strange glance, and then his eyes widen. "Cat, you ... you haven't been drinking, have you? I mean, I know things may look bad but..."

"No, I haven't been drinking! You know I don't drink!"

"But isn't that wine?" Alex asks.

The connection slowly dawns on me. He thinks it is a bottle of wine ... alcohol. He is trying to stop me from drinking it because of the baby. Well, this will be fun to explain.

I turn the bottle around. "William knows better than anyone that I don't drink." I show him the sparkling grape juice label. Alex suddenly looks like he wishes a hole would open up beneath him so he can quickly disappear.

"Cat, I...?"

William exchanges glances with Alex and me. "Someone care to explain what the issue is here? I know Cat doesn't drink alcohol. Her older brother is a recovering alcoholic. Seeing as how it nearly destroyed his life, Cat swore never to touch the stuff. So, why do YOU think it's bad?" William asks, looking pointedly at Alex.

"I uh... she um..." Alex looks up at me imploringly, and I decide to throw him a lifeline before his head goes under again.

I fill up my glass and say, "We'll get to that later. Right now, how about a toast? To friends old and new, may our friendship always be true."

"I'll drink to that!" William clinks his glass to mine. We both take a swig. Alex is still toying with his glass. I hold mine out to him. He smiles at me awkwardly and clinks his glass with mine.

At that moment William pipes in with, "You know, Cat. The candle is a really nice touch."

I raise my eyebrow at Alex, and his smile immediately brightens to its full brilliance.

William looks at us both. "Why do I feel like I'm still being left out?" he pouts.

"Not anymore," I tell him. 

Over a lasagna dinner, I tell him everything, from the moment I found out, to my confrontation with Liam that morning. I took a second to realize that this is the first time Alex is hearing this information too, for although he knew about the pregnancy, he knows none of the details leading up to it. He looks angry.

"What are you going to do, Cat?" William asks.

"I'm keeping the baby," I tell him.

"I didn't mean that. Anyone who knows you for like a half a second knows that would be your decision, but what about the rest?"

"The rest?" Both Alex and William look at one another with concern. I instantly wonder what I'm missing.

"Cat, what about school? Your major? Graduation? What are you planning to do once the baby is born?" Alex asks.

"And then there's telling your parents, Liam's parents, custody rights. And Cat, it's not like you can keep this a secret forever," William adds, and my head spins.

"I mean, eventually you'll start to show and people are already asking questions about you? You've never missed a single day and now suddenly your boyfriend is going on a rampage through the school and you 're nowhere to be found."

"I thought I already made the most important decision," I say, feeling even more foolish than I did when recounting the entire story to them. "I guess I didn't stop to think of the bigger picture. I'm still getting used to the idea. It has, after all, only been two days."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just back up here a minute." Alex appears even more concerned than before. He puts his hand on my arm. "You are doing the right thing. You can handle this. One problem at a time, Cat."

"She looks like she's going to faint!" William grabs my hand. 

It was true I felt light-headed. In fact, I think I am experiencing my first ever panic attack.

"Breathe, baby girl. Breathe!" William squeezes my hand.

My other hand is on my chest, my heart feels like it wants to leap through my rib cage. I take in a few deep breaths and tears sting my eyes. I stand up from the table. Both men stand up with me, but both look equally lost about what to do for me. Which doesn't surprise me, as I do not know what to do for myself.

"I, um... I made brownies. They are cooling on the counter out there. Help yourselves to some dessert," I say, pointing to the kitchen. "I think I'm going to lie down. It's been a really long and emotional day. So, I hope you don't mind." I pull William close to me to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll clean up later," I tell Alex. I turn from them both and walk out of the room.

I riffle through my box to find the stuffed bear my brother had gotten for me one Christmas when we were kids. I curl up with it on the bed in a fetal position and let the tears silently slide down my face until I fall asleep.

I woke up, but I knew it wasn't morning. Or maybe it was but too early for school. I still haven't decided if I am going to go back in or just going to let this week pass me by. I sit up and suddenly feel a need for something to drink.

I open the bedroom door just as Alex is getting ready for bed. His shirt is already off and he is mid-motion, pulling off his pants. His boxers, thank heaven, are still on, but I stand there frozen in place.

I don't know if it's the slight gasp that escapes my lips or the door opening that alerts him to my presence, but he quickly pulls his pants up and turns to look at me.

"Cat! You startled me. What are doing up? Everything okay?"

"Um... yeah, fine. I'm just a little thirsty so... sorry, I should have checked the time."

"That's okay," he says. "I was just about to get some sleep." He walks over and flicks on the light for the kitchen. I notice he has cleaned everything up and immediately I feel bad about how I ended our evening.

"I'm sorry I ruined dinner."

He looks up over the refrigerator door at me. "You ruined nothing. Water?"

I nod my head yes and he grabs a bottle from the refrigerator and pours it into a glass. He comes over and hands it to me.

"Thank you." I figure I best be getting back to my room. "Good night, Alex." I turn to leave, but then I hear...

"Cat? Can we talk? Unless you're too tired?"

If he's home, it must be after two in the morning. I fell asleep somewhere around 7 pm. This is the most sleep I have gotten and the most awake I have felt in days. "I'm okay," I tell him.

There he is, in all his adorableness, sitting cross-legged on the sofa bed, wanting me to join him. I know this only because he pats the spot next to him. 

Okay, Cat. It's just a conversation. I mosey on over and take the spot he patted, trying not to spill my glass of water while I do so.

It strikes me funny that I am fully dressed, having fallen asleep right after dinner, while he's half naked. I try really hard to keep my eyes forward and not on his bare chest. He really is in great shape. I half wonder if he works out and then immediately wonder when he would find the time.

"I had a talk with William after you left the room and, well... I told him how I felt."

I feel a rush of excitement. "Oh, that's wonderful! What did he say?" I ask, happy that perhaps the dinner wasn't a total loss.

Alex looks at me a little strange. "Well, he's happy you're staying here with me, and we both want to help you in any way that we can. We don't want you to feel alone in all of this."

I take a second to realize he means he talked to William about how he felt about me staying here. He probably wanted to reassure William. It's nice to know I have two such good friends, but I am disappointed because I had hoped to bring the two of them a little closer together.

He touches my hand, and I jump because I am deep in thought. "Sorry," he says.

"No, I'm sorry. I know how you feel about William. I wanted this evening to be perfect, but I screwed it up with my breakdown. That's really not me. I can handle this, Alex. I just need to take it one step at a time, as you said. The first step is my OB appointment tomorrow."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

I blink a few times. "To my gynecologist?"

"Well, I don't have to be in the room with you, but I can take you to your appointment. I can be there for you."

"It's a sweet offer, but I think its best I go to this one alone."

"Okay."

"Was there anything else?"

"Anything else?"

"Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

He looks at me like he's about to say something, but then he just reaches out and tucks my hair back behind my ear. "No, I guess ... I guess that's it."

I slide off the sofa bed. "Well, good night," I say, still holding on to my glass of water.

"Sweet Dreams, Cat."