elle and i sat together on the train, my head leaning against my hand as i tried not to let the rattling of the train lull me to sleep.

gideon had sent us down to el paso, texas, to interview a recently incarcerated child murderer. specifically brown haired boys with lives ahead of them. the man, charles devries, has agreed to an interview for our vicap system, and since elle and i were still technically new, gideon sent us.

elle was currently speaking with him on the phone, but i paid no attention, my headphones blasting music.

i felt her pull one of my earbuds out, and i turned to give her an annoyed look,"that was the best part."

she sighed, dropping it in my lap,"we need to review the case. gideon said he can't lie to us if we know the scene better than him."

i rolled my eyes,"i know the case, miss girl, i reviewed it way before we even entered the south."

she ignored me, pulling out the file,"and why are you wearing that to interview a serial killer?"

i looked down at my cropped cardigan and boyfriend jeans. i didn't see the problem with it. it might have been a little unprofessional, but i had prepared for that,"there's a blazer in my bag."

"lovely." elle muttered.

she had been annoyed with me basically for the whole trip. she thought she was perfectly capable of conducting an interview by herself, and deemed me unnecessary. i was trying to be friendly, but she was being so snarky and backhanded.

i was going to tell her off, when the train halted to an abrupt stop, causing me to hit the back of the seat in front of me.

"shit." i muttered, rubbing my forehead, once i sat back in my seat.

i ran a hand through my hair, trying to recompose myself. my bruises had barely healed from when i was beaten up by our last unsub. sometimes i wish i didn't bruise like a rotten apple, but...that's just life.

"are you okay?" elle asked as i continued to rub my forehead.

i nodded,"are you?"

"yeah. i buckled my seat belt." she answered, causing me to roll my eyes.

"i'll remember that for next time." i muttered, watching as a security guard walked in to reassure us.

"everything's alright, folks," he announced, "just relax, everything's gonna be fine."

"what happened?" i asked him as he walked by.

he stopped and looked down at us, noticing the government issued file in elle's lap,"you on the job?"

"fbi." i answered, smiling politely at him.

he nodded and leaned down, so the other passengers wouldn't hear,"it was a suicide. somebody jumped in front of the train."

i frowned, my heart dropping. someone's life was lost so close to us, it just...i don't know, it puts things in perspective, i guess.

"anything we can do?" elle asked.

he sighed,"unfortunately, we have the procedure down fairly well," he then noticed the prominent bruise forming on my forehead,"are you okay? that bruise looks bad."

i groaned, tossing my head back,"i'm fine, i have a condition. i bruise like an apple, it's not a big-"

"don't you mean you bruise like a peach?" elle asked, correcting my expression.

i gave her a confused look,"what? no, the saying is apple."

"no it's not, it's-" she continued to argue with me.

"i've literally never heard anyone say that."

"well, that's the saying, so-"

she was cut off from her speech, when a passenger a couple seats ahead of us, grabbed the security guard's gun and shot him multiple times in the stomach. the guard slumped into a chair, immediately dying.

the passengers on the train screamed, as elle and i instinctively grabbed onto our guns.

but the guy was too quick, hitting elle in the head with the gun in his hand, effectively knocking her out.

he grabbed her gun and held both to my head,"give me your gun!"

i sucked my teeth, pulling my gun out of my holster. the thought of being shot in the head has never scared me, though i'm sure it should. there's probably something to unpack there, but i don't have enough time to go to therapy.

he snatched the gun out of my hand, shoving it in his back pocket.

"what are you doing?!" the woman who had been sitting beside him yelled. she was dressed professionally, probably heading to some meeting of some sort. she clearly knew him, otherwise she would know not to talk to an armed man like that.

"shut up!" he screamed at her, twitching slightly, as he pointed a shaky gun at her.

he had severe facial tics, which were usually a result of taking years of anti-psychotics. he was clearly having some sort of mental struggle, but it didn't take a genius to figure that one out.

she whimpered and kept her mouth shut. i could hear my music still playing from its place on the floor.

i watched as he stomped on my mp3 player, breaking it.

i gasped,"i would have just fucking turned it off, but sure, break it."

he glared at me, his eyes dark with anxiety as he screamed at me to be quiet.

•

i yanked on the handcuffs that were restraining my hands to my seat. once this guy had taken my gun, he locked me to my seat, so i wouldn't try anything.

which was smart, because as a young girl growing up in manhattan i had taken many,
many, years of mixed martial arts and self defense training. you never know when it'll come in handy.

elle was moved to sit across from me, so he could see everything everyone was doing. i sat back to back with a guy, seemingly young, seemingly self-deprecating.

we watched as he yelled, incoherently, the boy, whose name was josh, scoffed, "lady, your boyfriend is whacked out of his mind."

"he's not my boyfriend." the professional woman, i found her name to be linda, informed him.

"he's a psych patient, right? i'm guess paranoid schizophrenic." i looked at her.

she nodded slowly,"yeah, actually. he is. i was taking him to dallas to speak at a conference. as an example of the progress being made to relieve severe psychosis."

the boy chuckled,"he's an example of the progress?"

i smiled in amusement. i like this kid, he's cool.

"what do we do to calm him?" elle asked, ignoring the kid's comment.

linda shrugged, honestly not sure,"make him feel less threatened."

"we're a threat to him?" the inebriated young man pressed, completely confused by that,"he's the one with two guns."

"three," i corrected, reaching my free hand to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear,"he has three guns."

"i rest my case." josh answered.

i turned to see the girl, sitting away from linda, throwing up all over the train floor. i scrunched my nose up in disgust. i didn't blame her for throwing up, but i wish she hadn't done it in such a confined space.

"are you alright?" i asked once she had finished.

"yeah," the woman sniffled, wiping her mouth with her sleeve,"just haven't been feeling that well lately."

linda gave her a mortified look,"you're not pregnant are you?"

she didn't answer, but she honestly didn't need to. we got the message. i immediately felt bad for being annoyed at her throwing up. she was obviously just having morning sickness.

linda stood up, trying to calm the shooter down,"teddy, please. this girl is sick."

ted shot up from his seat, gun pointed,"shut up! sit down!"

she held her hands up defensively and sank back into her seat.

"whacked out of his mind." the kid muttered, downing a shot of fireball liquor.

i almost thought about asking him to share, but elle would have been on my ass the second i did. we still technically had an interview to do.

i stole a glance at the black suv that had pulled up moments before. they still yet to get out.

but i watched as the door opened and saw the cool, expressionless face, of derek morgan. i bit back a smile, relief washing over me.

they were gonna save us.

•

i watched in horror as he grabbed the pregnant girl by her hair, dragging her to the phone. she yelped, holding onto her head.

anger flowed through me as i yelled,"you're hurting her!"

"i don't think he cares." josh whispered to me.

i rolled my eyes and reached back to smack his head. he yelped and kept quiet as ted through the girl to the floor in front of the phone.

as the girl talked with someone on the phone, i was hoping it was gideon, but you never know. gideon was the best when it came to working with paranoid psychosis unsub's.

elle and i met eyes as she asked me,"is it gideon?"

i shrugged,"probably."

"tell me who you are or this agent dies!" ted yelled onto the phone.

i furrowed my brows and whipped my head around. that girl is most definitely not an agent.

he held the gun to the girl's head, causing her to cry out.

"if you're the higher authority, you can have it removed." ted explained.

what is it? it sucks only hearing one part of the conversation, i needed to know what was going on.

"i want it removed now."

i looked over at his doctor, who didn't seem that confused at all. she knew what was going on. i would ask her once he was off the phone, right now i needed to hear what he was saying so i could piece together what was happening on the other side of the line.

"no! okay, one hour. you have one hour to remove it or i sweat to god, i'll kill every agent on this train."

there he goes again with that agent stuff, where is he getting that? elle and i were the only agents.

i looked around at the others on the train. josh and the business man looked terribly uncomfortable. the business man was reading a bible and praying.

"hey," josh slurred at me. i turned my head to look at him as he continued to talk,"why aren't they helping us?"

"they're going to, give them some time. we're gonna get through this." i replied, his breath reeked of liquor, which made me scrunch my nose slightly.

"we?" he cocked his eyebrows,"we're not the government agents, you are."

i rolled my eyes, his logic irrelevant,"well, that's neither here nor there-"

he stood up, linda hissing at him to take a seat. but he was too drunk to realize that what he was about to do could get him killed.

"i'm not a government agent," he spoke, ted whipping around to stare at him,"i'm with you. big brother, right? new think? newspeak? hate is love, war is peace."

i started at him, dumbfounded,"you sound stupid."

"stop it!" ted screamed at him, holding a gun to him.

linda calmed the situation down, pushing josh back into his seat.

"you're a fucking idiot." i whispered sharply to him once he was settled in his seat.

he rolled his eyes,"it's your fault we're in this mess. i was just trying to save myself."

i fought the urge to punch him, not that i could with my punching hand restrained in these cuffs. and to think, i thought he was cool.

the team needed to think of something quick, i was starting to get antsy.

•

i watched as the train door opened and spencer walked in. i let out a breath of relief, before remembering i was supposed to act like i didn't know him.

if this unsub knew we knew each other, spencer was as good as dead.

not to mention, things had been pretty awkward between us. ever since kyle kicked him out of my emergency room experience, he had been distant.

i think maybe kyle had scared him off, but i couldn't be sure. all i know is, my life had been darker since then. i missed talking to him, we were becoming friends, and i feel like we're in different places now. i didn't like it.

"hello, everyone," reid spoke lightly, clearly nervous,"i'm here to remove the chip from dr. bryar."

doctor? ted was a doctor? huh, the more you know.

"take the vest off. i want to see you." ted said demandingly.

i looked at spencer with concern. him taking off the vest is a terrible idea. if he gets shot, there won't be anything to save him, he's all skin and bones, he'll die immediately.

"i don't have any weapons," spencer swallowed hard, trying to avoid taking off the bulletproof item of clothing,"the higher authority doesn't allow technicians to have weapons."

"take it off!" ted reiterated, his patience running thin.

spencer slowly took of the vest, having no other choice. he shakily removed it and set in an empty seat.

"come closer. i want to see both of your hands at all times." ted instructed, spencer taking a few tentative steps forward.

"sit across from me." spencer said, setting his bag down.

ted took a quick seat across from him, pointing a gun at his chest. spencer shakily started to sterilize ted's arm, which was already covered in scars. he had clearly tried to remove this 'device' before.

"why are you so nervous?" bryar asked, looking at spencer suspiciously.

"i told you, i'm not used to being around guns." he lied smoothly, and impressed look etching on my face.

he was actually a pretty good liar, something i hadn't pegged him for. he's just far too honest and, sometimes, oblivious, i didn't think he would be as quick when it came to lying.

he pulled a scalpel out of his bag, and part of me was hoping it wasn't sterile. i know ted couldn't help his paranoia, but i think he may have slightly deserved a tiny infection. just for killing the security guard.

"this is probably going to sting." spencer told ted, who nodded quickly, not worried about the pain. he just wanted everything to stop. which is something i understood.

spencer started to cut into his arm, ted grunting lightly. once he felt there was a properly sized incision, he got to work. i wasn't sure what the plan was, because we all knew there was no chip in his arm.

he dug into the cut, pulling out a bloody microchip. my mouth opened in shock. how did he do that?

there couldn't have actually been a chip in him, right?

reid slowly stood up, chip in hand,"well, i better be going, the higher authority wants me to-"

"not yet!" ted yelled.

i agreed, i think ted needed to be stitched up, but we both knew spencer didn't have the qualifications to perform stitches on someone.

spencer turned back around, giving him a confused look as he demanded,"turn it on."

yeah spencer, turn it on, i thought. i knew the chip wasn't real, but part of me was really curious.

"excuse me?" spencer asked, taken aback by the request.

"turn it on, or i pull the trigger."

spencer looked absolutely shellshocked,"um, i can't turn it on." he stuttered out.

there's the spencer i know. he had no idea what to say.

"why not?" bryar asked.

spencer was speechless. that being the case i decided to interject,"because it has to be implanted to turn on." i shot out, hoping that was a good enough answer.

spencer whipped his head to look at me,"she's right. the chip derives it's power from electrical pulses fired between neurons. it has to be in your skin to work."

i nodded, as ted looked conflicted. he wasn't sure whether to believe it, but he knew he wasn't going to let spencer leave,"sit down, you're not going anywhere!"

reid took his seat, still as ever. the phone started to ring, causing ted to growl,"why can't you all just leave me alone?!"

"leave you alone?!" josh shot up, his blood boiling.

"sit down, josh." i said, my voice rigid. he was going to get himself killed.

"the government watches us," josh ignored me
completely,"you got microwaves and satellites. i'm with you, man."

"microwaves?" i questioned, looking at him with anger,"you sound so fucking dumb right now."

josh just continued to talk about tracking devices, until linda tried to grab him and take him to his seat,"you're not helping."

"what the hell do you know?" josh pushed her away.

i was seething. this idiot was going to get us all shot in the head,"stop being such a dick, josh. sit down."

he looked down at me with angry eyes,"you can't tell me what to do."

"he doesn't know what he's talking about ted," linda tried to reassure her patient,"he's just a kid."

"who you calling a kid?" josh slurred.

ted looked at her with heavy eyes. he wasn't sure who to listen to: the voices instructing him, or the doctor he trusted.

"you should answer the phone. it could be the higher authority." spencer told him.

it was then something snapped in ted. he pulled the trigger, shooting his doctor in the abdomen.

she clutched her stomach, blood spilling from her fingers. josh looked with wide eyes as she fell, catching her and setting her down.

i looked to spencer, not able to move or help her,"go apply pressure to her wound before she bleeds out."

he scrambled up, grabbing his handkerchief and pressing her gunshot wound.

breyar answered the phone,"it all ends today. i'm tired of fighting. me, these agents, it all ends today."

i swallowed hard as i realized what he said. he was going to kill all of us, himself included.

•

i watched as ted rocked in his seat, preparing himself to end everything. i looked to spencer and the civilians in the train.

i knew i couldn't just sit and watch any of this happen to them,"dr. bryar," i started, trying to swallow my nerves. i knew i said i wasn't afraid of getting shot in the head, but that was when i had no control over it. what i was choosing to do...i might as well be pulling the trigger myself,"i'm the only one on this train who's an agent. just me. you can let everyone else go."

he started at me, trying to evaluate what i said. the phone continued to ring, driving everyone crazy.

"dr. bryar, this woman needs help." spencer spoke.

"who's gonna help me?!" he snapped.

"the higher authorities can help you. they're not the enemy."

"not anymore." ted spoke flatly, shooting the phone three times.

i sucked my teeth. that was our only form of communication.

i sighed, wishing he would just shoot me and let the others go. linda was going to die soon, spencer's handkerchief had filled with blood awhile ago. we were running out of time.

•

i watched as the shaky business man shot ted. i was amazed at how long he hid his weapon from everyone.

"i had to," he muttered as gideon walked onto the train,"i had to. he was gonna kill us all. god forgive me."

i looked over at him,"you saved us. thank you."

i was trying to make him feel better for what he had done. pulling the trigger is a hard thing to do, but sometimes you're left with no other choice. he looked at me and smiled slightly, but i knew he wasn't convinced by my words.

i tugged on the cuffs, the metal clanging against the side of my seat,"can someone get these off of me?"

spencer nodded,"where are the keys?"

i shrugged,"i don't know, check his pockets."

reid went for his pockets pulling out tiny keys. he knelt next to me, unlocking my hand.

i thanked him as i flexed my wrists, all red and sore.

"are you okay?" he asked, looking straight at me.

i nodded, standing up and exiting the death machine.

we walked out together and once we were on solid ground, far away from the train, i couldn't help myself. i wrapped my arms around him tightly, pulling him into a hug.

he hesitated for a moment, but his arms eventually wrapped around my waist, hugging me back.

i pulled away slightly, a certain question nagging me,"how'd you do that thing with the chip? the one you pulled out of his arm?"

he smiled, his hands keeping their place on my
hips,"slight of hand tricks."

i laughed, throwing my head back slightly, "you're such a fucking nerd," i rested my head on his chest,"thank you."

we stayed like that for a moment, before i realized that the team was staring at us. i let go, but i knew i would be thinking of that hug for weeks to come.