i sighed as i looked out the window of the plane. i was halfway to new york and i wasn't looking forward to the landing. i was happy to see my dad's again, but the reasons for my seeing them made my heart wrench.

i shut my eyes, trying to get a little sleep before the plane landed, but i was quickly interrupted by the buzzing of my phone.

that's what i get for buying plane wifi, i griped, pulling the device out of my pocket.

"hello?" i answered.

"laine, where are you? we have a case briefing in five minutes." spencer's voice rung out.

i sighed, leaned my head against the back of my chair,"spence, i took the week off. i'm on a flight to new york."

"oh," he said, sounding a little disappointed, "well, is everything okay?"

i bit my lip, debating on whether or not to tell him. it was very sweet of him to ask, but i'm not sure he needs to know the depressing details of what's in store.

"um...yeah, i'm alright, don't worry about it." i answered, making my decision.

the line went silent for a few moments, and honestly i thought i had lost him. i was about to hang up when he started to speak again,"laine, you, um, you know you could tell me, right? i-if you wanted to."

i smiled lightly, his words having an affect on me. he was just so nice.

"yeah, i know," i started, not sure how to articulate my words properly,"it's just...i don't wanna, i don't know, scare you? i guess."

"what would i be scared of? do you know what we do for a living?"

i chuckled,"i know, and i don't mean scare you like, you'd be physically scared of what i told you, but scare you...away from me."

he hummed,"laine, what's going on?"

i pressed my lips together, bracing myself for what was to come after the fact,"it's my little siblings birthday tomorrow. i go to new york every year to celebrate it with my parents." i finished, waiting for him to say something. when he didn't, i got nervous and felt the need to keep rambling,"cause, you know, it's just like, we don't wanna remember the tragic end, we wanna think about good things and remember them for who they are. and not what happened to them, because that's not healthy for-"

"you don't have to explain it to me," he cut me off, probably put off by my incessant speaking, "i get it. i think it's really cool."

i took a deep breath, realizing i hadn't taken once since i started talking,"thanks."

another moment passed,"so i'll talk to you later?"

i nodded, looking at the sky from the window, "sure. good luck on the case."

"thank you."

i hung up and shut my eyes, trying not to think about him too much. this week wasn't about him, but of course, he was the only thing that clouded my mind.

•

i walked into my dads' townhouse, straight from a cab from the airport. i yawned as i made my way to the kitchen, hearing laughter.

i assumed my dad had friends over, seeing as my other dad was in the middle of clipping aneurysms at work.

when i pushed open the door, the laughter immediately ceased, both my dad and a boy staring at me.

i knit my eyebrows together, feeling like i had entered the wrong house,"dad?"

he looked at me with surprise,"laine, you were supposed to call me from the airport."

i nodded slowly, my heart seeming to stop,"yeah, well...there was a cab right there so-" i cut myself off, realizing i wasn't patient enough to beat around the bush,"i'm sorry, what's going on here?"

dad chuckled awkwardly, not sure how to explain himself,"this is jesse," he gestured to the young black boy sitting at the island,"he's sixteen, he's your foster brother."

i held my hands up, completely confused as jesse smiled and waved awkwardly.

"wh- i mean, what is- how is this- i am so confused." i put a hand on my forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

"i know honey, we were gonna tell you sooner, but we just didn't know how." dad told me, like that was supposed to make me feel better or make me understand.

it didn't help, it didn't make me less confused, it just pissed me off. we talk every week on the phone and they never once thought to tell me that they decided to become foster parents.

i sighed, looking up at the ceiling,"okay, well now i know," i looked between the two of them,"i'm gonna go to my room, but it's nice to meet you, jesse."

"you too," he started before sucking in his breath,"and i also think it's important that you know, we also have a foster sister."

i laughed, almost sardonically, because somehow i wasn't surprised at all,"of course we do. where is she?"

"at the hospital daycare with your dad, her name is sheridan, she's two."

i nodded, feeling ten times more tired than i had before i walked into the house. i had no idea what was happening, and the thought of trying to process it made my brain hurt.

i knew how i felt, though. i felt betrayed. not because they didn't tell me, but because it felt like they were trying to replace finn and darcy. it just upset me, which also made me feel guilty.

"so where's kyle?" dad asked, trying to lighten up the still air in the room.

i rolled my eyes, annoyed that he was trying to switch the subject, but nonetheless answered his question,"he's flying in tonight, he couldn't get a shift change at the hospital."

"so are we picking him up?"

"i will, i'll just take one of your cars." i replied, grabbing a hold of my suitcase,"i'm gonna go unpack."

i was honestly just trying to get out of this conversation.

•

kyle and i laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. the baby was crying and i could hear my dads' trying to deal with it, but the noise only added insult to injury.

"do you wanna talk about it?" he turned to me, his brown curls flying onto his face.

i rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest,"no."

"yes you do."

i scoffed,"what am i supposed to say, kyle?" i turned to him sharply, my own emotions angering me,"seriously, what? am i supposed to say 'no, don't take kids out of a broken system and provide them with a loving and nurturing home'. what kind of person am i, that i'm mad at them for doing that."

he rolled his eyes,"a normal fucking person, it's not like that's the actual reason you're mad at them."

"no?" i questioned, waiting for him to enlighten me.

"no, you're mad because you feel like he's trying to replace finn and darcy. two new siblings, boy and girl, they didn't tell you about it, you're fucking pissed, lainey. and that's okay." he tried to explain it to me, but i just felt the guilt gnawing at me.

i bit the inside of my cheek, conflicted about my emotions,"i know that's not what they're doing, but it just seems...like confusing. i don't get the sudden interest. like, why now? and why am i finding out about it a day before their birthday? it's like...finn and darcy erasure."

kyle nodded, resting his head on my shoulder, "yeah, but you know that's not it, right? like, yeah, maybe they are filling a void, but they're just trying to make the world a better place, while also bettering their own lives. it's a win-win."

i narrowed my eyes at him, not sure where all this sudden intellect had come from,"where's the kyle who buys bubblegum flavored toothpaste?"

he laughed and shrugged,"new york makes me evolve, laine."

i rolled my eyes right as my phone started to buzz. i turned over and grabbed it.

"hello?"

"hey, laine," i heard spencer's calming voice, "we found the missing girl, just wanted to let you know."

i smiled,"that's awesome, was she okay?"

"yeah, aside from the imminent psychological damage." spencer commented.

i laughed,"did you just make a joke, reid?"

"what?" he questioned, clearly not aware of the sardonic humor his words contained.

i shook my head,"never mind."

kyle let out a huff, clearly annoyed that the attention had been off of him for thirty seconds.

i rolled my eyes,"spencer, i should probably go. congrats on finding the kid."

"thanks, i'll see you when you're back."

i hung up and turned to kyle,"happy?"

he grinned obnoxiously,"sorry i made you hang up on your boyfriend."

"okay, he's not my boyfriend. we're friends."

"he's called you twice today." kyle pointed out.

"about the case." i justified his actions.

kyle shook his head,"he has a whole team for that. he called you because he wanted to hear your voice, guys do that."

i scoffed,"since when do you know what guys do?"

he laughed,"fine, i'm done helping you. goodnight."

"you were never helping me in the first place."

•

i walked back into the house with jesse and sheridan. we had just finished finn and darcy's birthday, we laid down flowers and tied balloons, that we would take down tomorrow. it was emotional, tears were present, especially with kyle. he's extra emotional.

and my dads were out, leaving so i could quote 'bond with jesse and sheridan'.

i set the house keys on the hook,"thanks for coming to the graveyard, jesse, you didn't have to do that."

he shrugged, picking sheridan up,"no, i think i did. i feel like i should," he tried to look for the right words,"i don't know, thank them? in a way, at least."

i nodded slowly, his words actually making me feel better. i couldn't pinpoint why, i guess it just made me feel better that he didn't disparage their lifetime. he actually appreciated them, and i think that's all i wanted. just to know that they were still loved and cherished.

i smiled and put a hand on his shoulder,"well, i'm glad you two are here."

jesse laughed,"i'm glad you're crying friend is gone, that boy was affecting everyone's grief."

i chuckled and shook my head,"yeah, he's a fucking mess."

"i can tell." jesse stated as we walked over to the living room and took a seat, sheridan making her way to his lap.

"she seems attached to you." i commented, crossing my legs.

he nodded,"yeah, we came here around the same time, she thinks i'm her brother."

"you are my brother!" sheridan exclaimed, following by incoherent babbling.

i smiled, glad that they were close. it was really sweet.

"yes i am, sher." he replied before looking up at me,"so you're in the fbi?"

"yeah, i'm a profiler."

"can i see your badge?" he asked excitedly.

i chuckled and pulled it out of my pocket, handing it to him.

he looked at in awe,"wow...this is a terrible picture of you."

my mouth gaped open as i hit his shoulder, "shut up, that was a bad day."

he laughed,"yeah, i can see that," he handed me back my badge,"but i don't get it, there's all these awards and pictures of you in like plays and stuff. what happened?"

i sighed, running a hand through my hair,"i don't know, when finn and darcy died, it just didn't seem as important. i wanted to do something that helps people."

"right. well, it's still really cool."

"i wanna be in the fbi." sheridan commented.

"oh yeah?" i asked, smiling lightly,"well, i'll talk to my boss and see what i can do."

she giggled, bouncing excitedly.

these kids weren't half bad.

•

i sat with kyle, our high school friend ross and our friend/ex-girlfriend, gwen.

"so you dated kyle and lainey?" ross asked gwen, grinning with amusement.

she shrugged,"it happens."

"she's a homie hopper." kyle explained, causing us to laugh.

"true, but i thought mackenzie and laine dated like, all of high school." ross gave me a confused look.

i looked up at the ceiling, trying to think,"no... there was like a month in junior year where we broke up, and then me and gwen got together, but i broke up with her to get back with mackenzie. and then he and i broke up senior year of college."

"still a little bitter about that, by the way." gwen griped, sipping her coffee.

"yeah, well me and his senior superlative was 'most likely to get married' so...we thought we were something." i shrugged casually.

"isn't that what broke you guys up?" kyle questioned.

"i thought it was because mack met a girl."

"okay, let's talk about someone else." i said sharply, causing them to laugh.

my phone started to buzz, so i held my hand up as i answered it.

"hello?"

"hey, laine," hotch started,"there's a poisoning case. i know you're in new york, but i thought maybe-"

he was cut off when gwen grabbed my phone, obnoxiously stating,"laine can't talk right now, she's at lunch with her ex-girlfriend."

i immediately clamped my hand over my mouth, feeling horrified at her words,"that's my boss, gwen."

she gasped,"i'm so sorry, i didn't know."

i snatched the phone back and rubbing my forehead,"hotch, i am so sorry, i didn't know she was gonna do that."

"it's fine." he said awkwardly.

i let out an exasperated breath,"i obviously wasn't planning on...you know, telling the team about my bisexual personal life, so i hope i can count on your discretion."

i clenched my teeth, very nervous for what he was gonna say next.

"yeah, of course. we'll keep this between us," he said, allowing me to let out a breath,"so do you want to be on this poison case?"

i looked between my friends, before definitively stating,"yes."