One Frank Day
-•-•-
The gentle breeze blows lovingly
The world is blue right now
The golden sun hasn't arrived yet
Morning has barely begun

A silent girl
she sits in her garden
Her white dress flaring
on the green carpet made of grass
Her fingers twirl
around the hems of her dress
A sigh leaves
her worried heart

"What is it about him that draws me so near?"
"What is about him that makes me care?"
"Is it him or is it I? Should I leave before my heart, he steals?"

The girl whispers
to the white Gardenias before her.

The amused Gardenias —
they smile to each other before turning to her,

"What is it about him that draws you near?
Oh why, his heart, my dear,"

"What is about him that makes you care?
Sweet child, it's love, don't fear,"

"Is him or is it you?
It's a bit of both, don't fret you,"

"Should you leave before your heart he steals?
You cannot steal what is freely given, now please wipe away those tears."

The world is blue right now. In this moment just before the darkness and light meet once again, and the light wins over. The period before dawn, it's blue today.

I take a sip of my warm chocolate as I stand outside, on my back patio. A shawl wrapped around me while I watch my foggy garden slowly fill up with light. The sun is slowly beginning to rise and I wonder if the little boy in my room will get frightened not seeing me in bed like he usually does, or if my cousin will wake up after one today like she usually does.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. The air is so much clearer today, the breezy fragrance of the flowers in my garden touches my senses every time I take a breath and I realise once again how much I love this moment. Just being able to be pure, and raw with my own self. Amongst these beautiful flowers. The nature.

Then I turn around and walk back into my home, remembering to slide the patio to a close since Isaac feels cold really easily, and so does Saara. I remind myself softly that I'm not the only one here anymore.

As I move towards my kitchen and pull out ingredients to cook everyone breakfast, I wonder if August will come around today. I wonder what I will tell him when Isaac acknowledges me as 'mummy'... how I will explain. I wonder if he will even require an explanation, then I smile... knowing him I'm sure he will. People are generally quite curious creatures. He is too.

As I pull out some rolled oats I glance towards the mess I've made on my sofa. The latest manuscript I'm working on lies on the sofa with my dictionary, markers, pen, and laptop. I hope Isaac won't go about scribbling on it when he wakes up. I remind myself to let him know not to. I also remind myself my deadline is in another three weeks.

The house inside is warmer so I pull off my shawl until I'm left with the simple thin strapped knee-length white dress I had decided to wear after waking up and bathing today. I've loved this dress for a while now. I've had it since my sixteenth birthday when my grandma Merilyn gifted it to me. She told me I looked so pure and innocent every time I wore it. Like an angel. Especially when I had my hair down. This was one of the last things I have gotten from my grandma. She passed away fifteen days after my birthday.

When a rogue tear slips down my cheeks, I quickly wipe it away and pulling my hair up into a high ponytail, return to my task. Making breakfast. My grandma wouldn't have wanted to see me this way, crying. She'd want me to be happy, smiling. So I smile.

By seven AM I am done and wiping the kitchen counters. The house is still quiet so that's a good thing. I turn back to grab my bowl of porridge and grabbing a spoon, move towards the sofa. I decide eating breakfast while editing my latest manuscript will be a lot more productive than doing both tasks separately.

This manuscript is a lot more different than I've gotten before. So far it's light and refreshing, about a girl from a fishing community finding self-love after being married off and widowed at a young age. I suppose I should thank the new chief editor at the publishing company who doesn't corner me as Alicia did.

A smile settles onto my lips and I take a bite of my porridge before continuing where I had left off earlier this morning.

It is around nine when the muffled sounds begin stirring around the quiet house, and I glance up just in time to see a sleepy Isaac wobble towards me, while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Mama?" he croaks sleepily as he looks around the house until his eyes spots me. He begins walking towards me, still unsteady on his feet. I'm a little surprised that he isn't yelling today like he always does when I leave the bed before he wakes up. He seems a lot more calm. Maybe it's my home decor?

"Mama?" Isaac croaks again, this time reaching me as he licks his lips. His round eyes looking at me with something I can't explain. No one has looked at me like this before. Like I'm the most important thing to them. Like they need me to keep them close to them all the time. He's never called me Mama before too.

So I put aside my manuscript, pick him up and place him onto my lap, wrapping my arms around the small boy.

"Good morning, my handsome young man!" I greet him cheerily, placing a kiss on his thick black hair.

"I had a bad dream," Isaac whispers suddenly, filling up the silence with his voice.

I frown at the child, worried if he's acting so differently because of that, "What did you see?"

I feel as Isaac stiffens underneath me, his arms grasping my dress, "I can't tell."

I'm almost about to ask him to tell me when he adds in quickly, "I — I don't remember."

My eyes widen at that, and I nod. I don't remember my dreams after I wake up 99.99% of the time so I decide to drop it. Instead I wrap my arms around the boy tighter and feel myself getting up on my feet and begin walking towards the bedroom.

"Just remember that there is a reason it is called a dream. It won't happen in real life, Isaac. Dreams you see with your eyes closed never come true," I say softly to the child and feel him nodding against my chest, "Good. Now let's get you freshened up. I've made porridge, eggs and chicken sandwiches. You like those, don't you?"

"Yeah," Isaac mumbles quietly and I hear his stomach suddenly growling. A soft chuckle leaves my lips at that. My little boy is hungry.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

William calls around 9 in the morning. I'm in the garden when I hear Isaac yelling from the living room that his father is calling.

"It's okay, I'll keep him inside the living room just in case William's friends are still there," Saara whispers as she leans forward, pulls the hair tie from my hair and begins putting her's up in a bun.

I can only chuckle at her old antic as I turn back towards the bougainvilleas that have now begun to crawl all over the fence, completely in bloom today morning. Bright pinks, and whites and purples.

Its no use chastising Saara about this. She always does this anyway — steals the hair tie from me just to secure her hair. That's often why I leave my hair open whenever I'm around her, she'll steal my hair tie anyway otherwise.

But she doesn't seem to get too far when Isaac comes running outside, "Mummy!! Look Pa's called!!!"

My eyes widen and my head only snaps towards Isaac when he reaches me and turns my phone so that I'm staring at an equally surprised looking William.

"Wait... mummy? Man you're back with Shirley?" a voice suddenly exclaims. I cringe and William notices.

"Isaac, baby, go inside with Poofy and talk to your dad. You'll see him clearer inside. I'm coming in a bit, okay?" I whisper hurriedly as Saara catches her cue and pulls a confused Isaac up into her arms before hurriedly walking into the house.

"Oi man that's Saara Malik!! You're secretly dating her?!" I hear the man yell as Isaac and Saara enter the house.

I sigh and turn back to the flowers.

"I guess I've lived a pretty boring life the past six years huh? That's why this is happening, isn't it? Life being a balance and all."

"I'm scared though," I sigh, "If I become happy...I'm scared I'll be hurt. Life being a balance of everything scares me,"

I turn up to look at the skies, "What do I do?"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Oh man you won't be happy about this," Saara whispers when I finally enter the living room after a while. My eyes dart to an excited looking Isaac doing something on my phone, probably playing games before I turn back to Saara.

"What happened?" I ask quietly.

"William's on his way over. With his best friend."

My heart drops, "Oh no..."

"I knew you'd say that."

"I'm going to die. This can't be happening! I was only prepared to tell August today! How can so many people know already! It's only been a week!"

"Calm down. Kris is his best friend and colleague, he had to find out soon anyway. And August isn't coming over today! He's will be out of country for some business for two weeks so relax."

"I'm... oh my God, I'm freaking out!"

"William firmly told him that he's not going back to Shirley and that you're not her."

"What about... Cecelia?"

At this Saara scoffs and my eyes widen further, "Apparently she got very drunk last night and is still asleep. She's not coming, don't worry."

"Mummy, pa's coming over!!" Isaac, having suddenly spotted me, giggles excitedly as he begins running towards me, wailing my phone in his hand as he does.

"I know, I heard," I smile at the boy as I pick him up and carry him to the sofa before dropping down unceremoniously with him.

"I'm ek—"Isaac frowns, trying hard to remember how to say excited, "ek-happy!" I laugh at his improvisation.

"He's so cute!" Saara squeals again and Isaac blushes under the sudden attention. I chuckle at the pair.

Just then the rumble of a vehicle drive into the driveway sounds and I feel myself stiffen.

"They are here," Saara whispers as she turns towards the door with bright eyes.

This is it, he's here, we're officially going to introduce me into his circle of friends. This is crazy. Isaac lets out a little yell of excitement and getting up, shoots towards the door where Saara already stands holding the doorknob, waiting for a knock.

It comes quickly, and Saara waits a few seconds before opening the door, Isaac almost vibrating with excitement behind her. I, on the other hand, find myself rooted to my spot, not believing my legs not to give away under pressure if I stand.

First enters an attractive looking man who I can only place to be Kris, then enters William.

It will be a lie if I say I don't compare the two men when they stepped into the house. I do. Kris looks the more orthodox handsome of the two, his hair styled messily as it falls over his forehead, I reckon that it suits his beauty. He has an easy-going face, something that strangely suits the casual t-shirt and trainer pants he is wearing right now. I would never pin him to be a surgeon. Beside him, William stands a couple of inches taller. He too is wearing casual clothing, his hair is down on his forehead today too. Somehow I find my eyes widening at how different he looks. A lot more casual, a lot younger. His facial features aren't as striking as his best friend though, I realise as I watch them stand side by side but somehow my eyes find themselves going back to him. Kris may be the more handsome friend, but William is definitely more attractive.

I watch as William's piercing gaze sweeps around the room until they find mine, before instantly dipping themselves into my soul. I gulp.

Isaac runs and jumps on the first man, "Hey there champ! I missed you too," Kris chuckles before turning towards Saara.

"It's nice to finally meet you! I'm Kris Zhao, Will's best friend since Med school. I'm currently doing my residency in Cardiothoracic surgery in the same hospital as Will. I listen to your music by the way. I really like your new single 'Jasmine Heart'," Kris smiles at Saara and she beams back, seeming genuinely flattered with his compliment. I know 'Jasmine Heart' is very close to Saara.

"Thank you so much! I'm glad William has a friend with a good taste in music," Saara grins at Kris, making him let out a laugh.

"You're beautiful and witty! I didn't know you and my best friend were dating but no wonder. He always used to like the artistically inclined ones," Kris grins at a suddenly mortified looking Saara before he turns and his eyes find mine as well. He stops.

"Oh wow," From the sudden flashes of mortification that sparks across his face I can tell he didn't mean to say it out loud, but I realise that he adapts well when he smiles and letting Isaac down, moves forward, "Hello, you must be the aunty Poofy Isaac was talking about."

Isaac turns towards his father who quickly picks him up into his arms.

Then Kris turns towards William and whispers something neither I nor Saara can seem to hear from her expression but William hears it just fine because I notice his eyes flashing before he smiles at his best friend. Isaac seems to suddenly stare at Kris with narrowed eyes.

Both Saara and I on the other hand just frown.

I decide it's time I speak so I get up slowly and extend a hand towards him.

"Hello, I'm Gemma," I smile at him softly, waiting for him to grasp my hand. He does, and I realise how soft his hand is. My eyes snap up in surprise just as his does.

"I'm Kris. Your hand is very soft," Kris smiles kindly and I find myself blushing under his compliment that mirrors my silent one. I've never heard that one before.

"Thank you," I mumble back nervously, "Yours too."

This time Kris blushes and my eyes widen as his neck turns a bright shade of pink. William moves behind him then and I find my attention darting to him then. I freeze.

His blazing eyes are focused on mine, my eyes glance from his to a suddenly very amused looking Saara, and then back to him. I notice Kris and I are still holding hands and gently pull my hand back towards me before extending it towards William.

I watch as his hand darts out and grasps onto mine without hesitation. Kris's eyes widen at this and I'm sure he's silently figuring out his mistake. He turns towards William just as William steps around his best friend and stands beside me, his hand now sliding around my shoulders.

"This one is mine, not that one," William smiles at his best friend, "But you're right. She does look like an angel in white."

"Yeah, I almost had a heart attack, man," Saara moves forward chuckling awkwardly.

Isaac finds this moment to exert himself back into my range of attention and leans towards me until I have him in my arms.

"It's completely normal, you saw Saara during the video call and not me anyway," I try to relax the embarrassed looking man. He smiles at me at this, appreciation gracing his expressions, "I will wait for William to mess up."

Then he looks around the room with a sad, sheepish smile, "I guess my sister is going to have to deal with a bit of a heartbreak huh?"

I feel as William stiffens beside me and wonder which part he's offended about, messing up or an upset Cecelia.

But Saara saves the day once again when she says, "Let's get the guests something to drink, Gemma?" Before she pulls Isaac and I towards the kitchen. Leaving the two men to silently talk and fix the tension between them.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"When are you going to tell Cecelia?" Kris asks William casually before he takes a sip of his coffee and smiling appreciatively at Saara and I before placing it on the kitchen island.

We gave the men some time to sort things over while Saara made coffee in the kitchen and I gave a suddenly very hungry Isaac what he had been looking at, his chicken sandwiches.

When we came out both men were smiling and discussing something that seemed like hospital politics. I found myself wondering if all the power play that happened in this Chinese drama I once saw called 'Surgeons' really does happen in real life.

Now we're all in the tiny kitchen, the men drinking coffee and cutting the vegetables by some turn of events, and Saara and I preparing lunch. I'm a little distracted, to be honest, I'm still wondering about the connection between dramas and reality. Their current topic of conversation seems way intimidating, to be honest. I'd rather take Isaac up to bed for his early nap or something. I glance towards Isaac on his spot on the rugs in that living room— where we have laid a small mattress for him to play on — to find him reading Saara's first-grade prize for coming first in her class, a fairy tale book she has treasured since little. Even I never got to hold it for more than 2 minutes. When she realises what I'm looking at, I give her a grateful smile for valuing Isaac so much.

"I don't want to make a big deal out of this. I'll tell her when she finds out naturally," William shrugs across the island from me. Sitting on a stool beside Kris he seems casual about this reply but I can tell by the whitening of his knuckles around the kitchen knife that he's stressed.

"I think it's a big deal already, man. I mean, and no offense, your son calls her mum and they seem inseparable! You're better off putting a ring on her finger at this point,"

I freeze. My wide eyes dart towards William and I frown. His face is void of any expressions and he's still looking at his best friend. Then he suddenly looks up at me and I almost jump up in surprise. The look in his eyes doesn't escape my attention. I know he's about to say something sarcastic. Still, I could never be able to guess the question he asks next.

"Do you want to marry me?"

"I refuse!"

Saara yells her response even before I get to open my mouth to do so. I flinch when I notice William's eyes blazing at Saara's reply. I know he was just being sarcastic, I know he was just making a point to his best friend. Still, I couldn't help myself from reacting this way. This stunned... silent way.

William, on the other hand, seems completely composed, still the blank-faced being, he continues to look at me, ignoring Saara. I glance at Isaac nervously, relief floods me when I see that he's still busy with the book and hasn't heard a thing. My eyes then flutter towards Kris too, but his time I find him looking at William with something soft akin to surprise in his eyes.

Slowly my gaze returns to William and for a second I just watch the man before me. There are days when he seems tan, shining almost slightly golden, and there are days when he's as fair as milk. Today as he sits before me, his skin is a bit of both. The vast tons of his skin almost meshes against his white shirt, reflecting the light from the room while some spots still reflect his tan, slightly golden. Like milk and honey.

I don't know how to approach this. Should I question him? And if so, about what? Will he even answer if I do? Should I just let this be? Play it off like a joke? The butterflies in my chest are soaring, and my heart all of a sudden is playing the drum. I'm breathless and I know there is no need to be. He doesn't mean it. He barely knows me. He doesn't like me. Like I like him. Like I... like him.

When no question lends me an answer, I find myself slowly turning towards Saara and Kris before sparing them an apologetic smile, hoping they will understand my unspoken request. It's best to not have any audience when I embarrass myself completely.

"Let's give the couple some privacy," Kris nods, understanding me as if naturally when he turns towards Saara and smiles. Saara, however, glances at me in hopes for a confirmation, and only begins moving when I give her my thankful nod.

"Thanks," I mumble as the two move out of the kitchen and towards an occupied Isaac.

For a second or two, there is silence in the kitchen, none of us say a word. Neither of us move. Neither of us seems to have the courage to look the other in the eye. I wonder what I should do now. Should I begin speaking? My eyes lower onto my empty hands and I slowly move my fingers, watching my fingers flexing under my gaze.

The tingling feeling behind the back of my head has me held. Held. My heart blooms at the thought that word produces. My newly realised liking for the man before me does nothing but lead me towards complete vulnerability. When I realise that I am walking, I know what I want to do. I want touch him. I want to touch William just because I want to, and not because I have to — for show.

The soles of my naked feet barely let a small tap escape my movements as I move closer and closer to him. I see no hostility in his eyes, no expression of disgust, hatred, or fear. His usual blank expression gives nothing away. No, his face gives nothing away and his eyes refuse to give in. They are egging me on. Waiting to see what I do. This makes me wonder even more. Should I really touch him? Should I hold him and blame the people outside the kitchen? Blame the stupid need to hold a facade? Will he know? Will he know how I feel?

I find myself moving around the island, surprising myself when I realise that I'm really just about to touch him. He will probably know how I feel. Does he already know? I'm about to touch him. Even when there is no one in the kitchen to show right now. Have I ever hugged him before? My jumping heartbeats neither confirm nor deny anything.

When my feet reach him, he silently turns so that he is facing me. I watch as he turns until he he and I are looking at each other straight in the eyes, while just standing there. Stagnant. I have no idea how many minutes pass, or if only seconds as we continue to face each other but remain completely silent.

When his fingers move against the dark of his pants material and towards me, I find my arms move around his neck automatically. As if this was a sign I was waiting for. I want to cringe thinking about how out of character this is for me. When was the last time I had just walked forward and hugged a crush? I can't tell, but my newly realised feelings do nothing but add coal into the blazing pits of my stupidity, and when I feel his thighs separate I find myself maneuvering myself between them, tightening my arm around the slightly stiff man.

"Are you feeling okay?" I whisper into his ears instead, I realise even he has had to tell the first person in his own world about me today. Concern seeps into my mind. He must be really guilty for lying to his best friend.

"Why do you ask?" William asks me instead, his voice a bit lower than myself. My eyes widen at the sudden deep tone in his low voice but he gives me no space to think about it when his hands suddenly begin to slide around my waist.

His actions can't help but make me wonder what is happening right now. Is this for show? Is he doing this because he doesn't want me to be embarrassed? Is he doing this because he doesn't want me to escape and not answer?

"It must be hard to lie to your best friend," I whisper softly. Then feel guilty, "I'm sorry I pulled you into this."

"I'm a grown man, Gemma, not a child. You can not make me do anything I do not want to," William replies simply and I nod, finding comfort in his blunt words.

Then I stiffen.

"Thanks for wanting to hug me then," I chuckle trying to lighten the mood. The feeling of his arm tightening around me at my words leaves me almost breathless. But he doesn't do anything other than that. He remains silent.

"Why did you ask me that question?" I ask after a minute or two's silence. I realise he isn't going to speak on my previous comment, so I decide to ask him what I really have to.

"I was curious about your answer," William replies simply but I can't help as my breath hitches in my chest when I feel his palm pull me tighter against him. I can't see the entrance of the kitchen right now, so I can't be too sure. Is someone trying to peak?

"Why the curiosity?" I ask then. Isn't my answer supposed to be obvious? We have known each other for merely a week and although I have proved to be quite spontaneous so far, I'm sure no sane girl would marry a strange they have — I stop. Oh wait, some people marry people they don't even know until their wedding day. A sigh slips from my lips and I shamelessly slump against the man holding me. Oh well..

"I was jealous,"

The words come rolling out of tongue like a chilly breeze during a cold stormy night. Giving me goosebumps all along my arm. The world is suddenly rotating quite quickly around me. Orbiting around us until my vision quickly begins to become blurry.

"I'm sorry?" I blurt out, not knowing what else to say. He was jealous? Of what? Kris? My mind rolls back to a few days ago and what Saara said over the phone. Was he jealous then too?

"I don't..." William stops, seeming hesitant for a few seconds as he frowns to himself before he finally speaks again, " — like the idea of men touching you. I don't like thinking of them looking at you like that."

"But why?" I whisper, suddenly wondering how to formulate loud enough words that can be heard properly. How to find my voice.

"It's too soon to be able to know," William shrugs, taking me off guard once again. Is he hinting that he might have feelings for me too? Is he hinting that he might like me too?

"Why are you telling me all this?" I blink, the state of confusion and exhilaration begins to take over me. Everything makes sense and yet absolutely nothing does.

Something outside in the back garden drops and I hear Saara groan a moment later. I almost roll my eyes against a stiff William. Of course, she would try to listen.

"She was spying," William nods almost to himself, and I blink albeit a little embarrassed on my cousin's behalf as I observe the man in whose arms I am in right now. He smiles a little, "Would you like it better if I lied to you?"

"Of course not," I sigh. No one really loves the way anyone lies. All that only sounds best in the lyrics of songs.

"Would you like it better if I am not transparent with you?" He asks again.

I frown, confused between letting myself feel the small sharp whiskers of William's almost invisible regrowing beard brush against my temple or taking a step back and letting the cold air wrap around me with its cold invisible arms, "No... I don't."

"I like frank, clear communication, Gemma,"

I pull my head back until I can look up at him, "I don't mind that too."

Looking down, William blinks with his usual blank expression and nods, "Is there anything else you wanted to ask me?"

"Why didn't you tell Kris about our situation, as I did with Saara?"

For a moment his gaze hardens and I almost think he's going to walk away.

"Because you are his type,"

I frown, "I'm sorry?"

He sighs when he catches me looking at him expectedly. I can't lie, I suddenly do want to know, "You're his type, Gemma. The type of woman that catches his eyes, that he would want to settle down with."

"And... you don't want that?" I bite my lip, knowing that there is a high chance I have blown it now. The feeling of all this almost being over hits me and runs me over, squishing my brains out.

"I don't know," he shrugs and I feel myself moving with him. Surprisingly this feels comfortable. Being in his arms. Surprisingly neither one of us moves away. And Williams admissions... does this mean... does it mean he likes me too?

"Do you want to marry me?" he asks suddenly, taking me completely by surprise once again. The feeling of lightheadedness hits me straight across my chest and I take a deep breath in trying to clear the fogginess in my mind — the waft of William's cologne flutters into my nostrils and I groan. Frustrated, I let my head drop on William's shoulder without much thought.

What sort of a question is this? How does he expect me to reply?

"It's too soon to say... we don't know each other enough," I finally reply. Silently proud of my answer. Of course, I like him. Of course, I don't think marrying him so soon is even a question. Or smart. I don't want to marry him right now. But it's not like I think I'd not want to marry him forever. No one knows the future. So isn't it easier to say this instead of no? 'It's too soon to say'?

"What about you?" I ask, moving my head back until I can see his face. His eyes are on my shoulder right now.

With my question, William's eyes shoot up to mine and I feel my legs give away a little, "When you love me."

Once again, I feel the world orbiting around us quickly. The feeling of lightheadedness hits me straight across my chest and my heart starts hammering against my chest. I can't help but desperately start grasping for any reminder on how to breathe. How to keep myself from fainting.

His answer takes me completely by surprise. He hasn't said no. He said when I will love him. Does that mean he wants to marry me eventually? Does that mean he likes me? My legs give away and his arms tighten around me instantly.

"Why?" I ask, a little breathless, considering for the first time to move out of his embrace. The realisation slowly washes over me like a cold wave and I find myself completely unprepared for this. His straightforwardness scares me.

"Why what?" William asks quietly, I notice at this moment the slow swirls of circle his thumb is tracing against my upper back. This makes my heart feel warm, he's trying to calm me down.

"Why 'when you love me' instead of 'it's too soon'?"

"How about, It's too soon when you love me?" William asks instead, joining both the words together. This makes me frown even harder. Is he indirectly telling me he likes me too?

"Why 'when you love me'? Why not 'when I love you'?" I ask instead.

"Do you want to marry me?" William asks instead, disregarding my previous question altogether.

We stare into each other's eyes for a while. I try to find the silent answers to my questions and he tries to find something I may never figure out.

We stand here in the kitchen, my arms around his neck and his around my back. The places where our hearts beat against each other. I let my eyes wander. I let my eyes trace his dark eyebrows, the light scar on the left side of his forehead, almost shadowed by his thick hairline, I let my eyes shamelessly caress the slightly tall bridge of his nose, the soft crease in between his double eyelids, the dark orbs that desperately remind me of the moonless nights. Sometimes pitch black and sometimes with the swirl of something.

The man standing before me, the man holding me, he isn't the most handsome of men but I like him. He hardly speaks unless it is needed, his eyes constantly make me feel like they are seeing into my soul, he's too straightforward it's almost unhealthy for my heart, and he's incredibly intelligent. Far more intelligent than me. Still, I like him. I really, really like him.

He says he'll marry when I love him and I'm afraid I may be well on my way. To be able to be this comfortable in someone's arms, to be so comfortable in his arms, to have Isaac in my life — I can disregard sense, I can disregard social acceptability. But for me, that's not enough. This one week is enough and yet it isn't. It's just not enough.

My gaze finally moves back to his and I feel as his fingers move slightly against my back.

Finally, I answer.

"When you love me, then."