Chapter Fifty Seven

Nina was in the bath when the phone rang. Theo had woken her outside the house and helped her inside...even though she didn't need help. After a nap curled up under a blanket on the sofa, she was now wide awake. Food hadn't made her tired, so now she was soaking in warm water in the hope that she would feel tired.

Picking up the phone, she smiled when she saw Lilah's id on the screen.

"Hey."

Lilah chuckled, "hey you. How was the doctor?"

Nina's response was a moan, "the man is going to be the death of me."

Lilah laughed harder, "what's he done now?"

"Where do I start? Skipping around like a child, asking the doctor a zillion questions." She sighed, "and then touching me. He put a hand on my stomach, like as though I'm his property and he can do what the hell he likes."

Hearing the snort of laughter she rolled her eyes as Lilah gasped, "oh Nina, you absolutely kill me. The man showed affection, not dictatorship. You are worrying about him touching your belly...what about when you're having the baby? That man is going to be down the business end seeing more than your naked waist, and knowing him probably touching it all too."

Nina cringed, "I'll make them give me a c section, there is no way he's focussing on my bare..." She shuddered, "thanks Lilah for that thought."

Her friend was still snorting, "that sounds like the greatest medical decision ever made, give you a caesarean section to avoid your baby Daddy seeing your...'fairy'."

Nina sat bolt upright, "Fairy? What the actual fuck?"

Lilah laughed, "that is what my mother called it when I was a kid, you want me to use the V-bomb? You want me to say he'll be looking at your vagina as you squeeze a baby out of it?" When there was no answer the laughter eased, "babe, he's seen it before, I bet he's done more than just look at it, that's why you're in this predicament, I'm just telling you that you need to let this go a little bit. He's trying...he's not pushing you too hard. He's running blind, give him feedback if you need to, but really, you just need to accept that he's there for you. Which is a great thing. You are luckier than you know."

She took those sentiments to bed that night, but nothing seemed to help her sleep.

Theo was relaxed and happy almost permanently, except when Melody was with Sadie. He hadn't told his daughter about the baby, so he didn't have to rush to tell Sadie, but he knew that he owed it to her. If she found out by accident then she'd likely cause chaos, and Nina didn't need that. Sadie had sparked the fire that he'd then fanned with his distrust and anger which had led inevitably to the breakdown of his relationship with Nina, the last thing he needed was another outburst, another reason for her to be upset by his ex. Admittedly since she'd been having regular contact they were far more civil to each other. Which was a good thing, and he knew that baby news would upset that. It seemed that he was fucked whichever way he looked at it.

Sadie's first overnight contact happened a few days later, and so, rather than sit at home and dwell, he arranged to meet Tony, until recently they'd spent a lot of time together, but Sadie, Mansell and now Nina were eating into his time, and he looked forward to catching up with his friend and chilling out over a few beers.

Tony wasn't one for cutting corners; as usual he wanted to meet in one of the high end hotels in the heart of Mayfair. It was ludicrous, but Tony was buying, he'd insisted. Who was he to complain?

Tony was impeccable in a bespoke suit in an unusual colour of blue, and as he approached Theo's window seat, he gave a long slow wolf whistle.

"Looking slick my man!"

Tony laughed, running his hands down the lapels, "apparently this is aquamarine. It's the new thing according to Ashley."

Theo leaned forward grinning, "Ashley? Who the hell is that?"

He looked nervous and almost blushed, "just you know...a hook up."

Theo wasn't convinced of that, "since when do 'hook-ups' help you pick suits...bespoke ones that take days if not weeks to make up. Are you going serious Tone?"

He rolled his eyes, "don't be ridiculous. Beer or whisky?"

"Beer, too many whiskies and I'll be out of it."

Tony returned with the drinks and lounged in a chair opposite him, "so, Theo's been absent for a while. What's news? I mean I know Mansell, sorry I couldn't make the funeral...Sadie's behaving..." He stared at Theo, and he could only lift an eyebrow in question at him. "So that leaves the cute shortie..."

He almost laughed at his friend's intuition; he was a great lawyer for that reason, "maybe."

Draining half his beer, Tony finally asked, "so shoot. You never do easy, so I'm preparing for this mammoth story."

Laughing, Theo sipped at his own beer, and watched his friend for a long moment, then offered, "how about me complicating the world with another baby."

Tony's face predictably dropped in shock, "really? Shit Peterson, you do not believe in doing things the easy way. Are you and her together?"

He shrugged, "not exactly."

Rolling his eyes he clapped him on the back, "need another paternity contract? DNA?"

"I'm hoping this time that I don't need anything that official."

Tony laughed, "me too buddy, you deserve a little luck."

Three hours later and Theo was climbing into a taxi punching his friend in the shoulder in a friendly way. As he slumped into the back seat of the cab, he pulled out his phone and saw a message...from Nina. His heart surged as he opened, then he stared at the message for a long moment.

"It moved. The baby...just thought I should let you know. It's exciting..."

He was sporting a permagrin, he could feel her excitement. He started to formulate a reply, when instead he leaned forward and redirected the taxi to her home. He had to see her, maybe not a good idea after a few beers, but he'd done worse, and the need to see her beat any common sense.

Nina was lying on the sofa, her pyjama top pulled up to her ribs and her hand over her belly button. Since she'd felt the baby move first, it hadn't stopped wriggling. It was amazing and for the first time in years she rued the fact that she was alone. She really wanted to share this with someone, and she felt lonely. No, not lonely, she had friends. But she was alone, and that was a sad fact. She'd messaged Theo as he was the only person who'd really be interested, and even that hadn't worked. She'd thought that he might call her back, but nope.

Just as she was smiling at the fluttering under her hand there was a knock at the door. Groaning she pulled herself into standing then stretched as she made for the hallway. It was only as she reached for the door that she realised it was after eleven...where had the evening gone?

The door was only open a crack when it was forced open and Theo peered around it scowling.

"It's late! You should have the safety chain on. I could be anyone."

The initial and momentary shock at him bursting in was soon replaced by the sarcasm that she usually reserved for him. "No such luck! Think I'd prefer a stranger turning up."

He chuckled, "only think?"

He moved past her into the hall, closing the door behind him.

"Theo, what are you doing here?"

"You messaged me, it was a moment you wanted to share, I came for that."

She sighed, because that was exactly what she'd wanted, really. Someone to share that moment.

She smiled coyly, "it's dancing I think." Moving into the lounge she spread out again on the sofa, then reaching for his hand, she pulled it to rest on her skin.

It made her heart race, her breath stutter, just as it had days earlier in the doctor's office, but she ignored that, waiting until the twitch happened again. When it did, Theo who had his back to her face, staring at her body turned to smile.

"Wow! That's a strong kick, perfect."

She beamed, and they shared that moment together, "I'm glad you felt that."

His eyes widened, "me too. Thanks."

There was an awkwardness, Theo seemed in no rush to go, but Nina couldn't let him linger, she didn't trust him, she couldn't. Instead she sat up, levelled herself with him.

"Who's got Melody?"

He gulped and she could sense his anxiety, "first sleep over with her mother."

"Shit." She placed a hand on his arm, "so that's why you smell of alcohol and look like shit."

Laughing he rolled his eyes, "don't go too heavy on the tea and sympathy will you?"

"You expect nothing less."

Nodding he turned to her, "I should go. You need rest..."

He wanted her to offer that olive branch, she knew that. But she couldn't. She needed distance, space. She wasn't about to pretend the last four months hadn't happened, because they had. And as much as his touch still excited her, she couldn't get his betrayal, his anger and the way he'd treated her out of her mind.

At the door he pulled her into a quick hug before she could resist.

"Thanks Nina, that was really special."

And with that he was gone.

Nina had prioritised what she wanted sorted in the house, because time was ticking away and she knew that she had neither the time nor the inclination to do all the work. So the kitchen and the room she'd selected as a nursery were the things she wanted finished.

Max had stripped the smaller bedroom next to hers and had someone plaster the walls. But she wanted to pain it herself, even though she was feeling tired. She'd never lounged around, or had people do things for her, and she wasn't about to start now. Saying that she was happy leaving the kitchen renovation to Max and his team.

But that didn't mean she wasn't asking him for help every five minutes.

She bought some decal stickers for the wall, Dr Suess characters and Max had been telling her how to best stick it to the wall all day, so it was almost lunchtime on the second day when she called him upstairs to help her.

"Opposite the window is best, but I can't understand what you mean about glue." She called out when she heard him approach the room where she was wrestling with the stickers and the wall.

"Glue?"

She froze, it wasn't Max's voice, it was Theo.

Turning slowly she smiled awkwardly. Since his late night visit she'd ignored his calls and messages. He was infiltrating her defences and she couldn't cope with that.

"What's wrong? Why are you here?"

Almost as though he accepted her reaction, he leaned against the doorframe and watched her, "just passing, checking out what Max is up to. And to see how you are...as you aren't answering my calls or messages...Mohammed has to come to the mountain."

She grimaced, "I've been busy."

He shook his head, "no, you've been hiding...but I get that. And I'm not going to let that happen."

She blushed, "it's all..." What did she want to say? That he scared her? That she wasn't sure she could ever let him back into her life? He didn't need to hear that. Or rather he wouldn't take that from her.

"I get it Nina, I know you." She looked up to him and grimaced awkwardly. "I just want to be involved. How are you feeling?"

Rolling her eyes she pointed to the wall, "I'll be perfect when that wall is finished, but I need Max to help me with the decal."

"That's easy...let me help..." as he reached out she made to resist him, but he gave her a smile. "You'd let Max?"
Fighting the scowl, she directed him to where she wanted it, then watched as he used the adhesive that Max had recommended to put it in place.

"See? Easy. Now what else do you need?"

She shrugged, "nothing. I haven't looked for any furniture or anything, but the carpet is being laid after the weekend. This was the last thing to do up here."

He admired her work, "you've done a good job you know."

That made her beam, there was no one to compliment on anything in her life, and she liked that. Though she hated that he could tell that straight away.

"Thank you. It's been a long time since I've had something to be so enthusiastic about."

He grinned at her expression, "I know exactly what you mean."

Biting her bottom lip, she stared at him for a moment, "the workshop it looking good too." She remembered how much he'd admired her work area in Brighton. "Do you want to see?"

He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers, "I'd love to."

With a smile and a skip in her step, she led him down to the room adjacent to the garden that was to be her new workshop.

Theo watched as Nina stood looking out at the late winter garden through the large well lit window, and he couldn't be more grateful. Finally she was letting him in. He wanted to take her home, to spoil her, rub her feet, cook her dinners. But he knew she'd fight that, every step of the way. SO he had to nudge those tiny, baby steps. He reached out, placed a hand on her arm.

"You've done brilliantly here Nina."

He felt her flinch at his touch, but he let his hand linger there...until she shrugged free of him.

"Thanks, I feel as though things are starting to come together."

She had moved to the other side of the room, but he wasn't about to let that bother him, "you're a great organiser, you've got more out of Max per day than I think I ever could."

That was a lie, but it made her beam, so he went with it, "so will you come out to dinner with me later?"

She shook her head, far too quickly, "that's not a good idea."

He followed her across the room, "on the contrary, it's a brilliant idea. You have got to start spending time with me. Don't you realise that?"

She dropped her head, averting her eyes, "don't push me Theo. Don't YOU realise that I don't want this? You seem to think that we can just pretend and drop back into how things were. But I can't do that."

He hated the finality to her voice, "will you ever want me as I want you?"

She swallowed nervously, then lifted her eyes, "I don't know, I can't tell you that."

It was time for cards on table, he'd held them so close to his chest up until now, but he had to open himself up to her, and face rejection.

"I love you Nina...more than I thought possible, and I want this to work more than anything."

He could see the shock wash over her face as she digested that, but she didn't smile as he hoped, he'd hoped she'd throw herself at him.

"I thought I loved you too Theo, before you threw everything I'd ever done back in my face. I can't just pretend that I believe you mean this today."

He ran his hand over his face for a moment, "but you're not giving me a chance to even try to change your mind Nina, and that isn't fair."

"I don't trust you Theo, that's the problem. I can't believe you, and I can't trust you."

He stared at her for a moment, "so what are you saying?"

She shrugged, "you're the father of my baby Theo, that's all I know."