Chapter Eighteen

An hour later the bridal couple had danced to their first song and the party had really kicked in. A band played amenable music, people danced, chatted. Nina was sat in the corner of the room, watching the evening unfold, despite the occasional trauma; she'd enjoyed spending time with Lilah. She was currently at the bar getting more drinks, so Nina was alone when she felt a presence beside her. By the time she'd turned to look to her left, Theo had pulled up a chair and sat beside her.

"Hi," he offered quietly. This was meek for him, and although she sighed but wasn't as frustrated as she usually was with him.

"Hi," she didn't turn to face him, but she could sense him relaxing next to her.

"I hate weddings."

She could see his long legs stretch out in front of them in her peripheral vision, and at the comment she turned towards him and laughed, "don't most divorced people?"

That made him sit up literally, "ooh, she still bites." He was rewarded with a smile, and grinned himself. "Another wound..."

She smiled then asked, "you know why I'm here. What about you?"

He leaned back in his chair again and took a drink from the bottle of beer he held in his long fingers. "Colin's father and Mansell are cousins. So me and my brother," he gestured in the direction of the bar and the tall blonde man who she'd met at the hospital, who at that exact moment was talking to Lilah of all people. "So we're here to represent him really."

Nina nodded, "so that's Daniel. He's very charming."

"And you're saying I'm not?"

She glanced at him, "if the cap fits then wear it!"

That made him laugh out loud, "remind me never to come to you when I need a compliment."

"Shit!"

He looked up as she swore under her breath in time to see Daniel leading Lilah on to the dance floor. He opened his mouth to speak but Nina dived in first. "I'll have a beer; it seems my best friend has been distracted from getting us a drink by your brother." Though she didn't share her concern over her friend, the last thing she needed was the complication of Lilah getting involved with Theo's brother.

Nina watched him walk away towards the bar, immediately obeying her command and sighed, he had really got to her that day. Whether it was knowing about the trauma of his ex wife and daughter, or the humility that seemed out of character in him, something was tugging at her heartstrings, and whilst she'd denied that she was ever going to forgive him, she was starting to wonder why she was keeping the animosity going, and that was dangerous. She glanced at Lilah, laughing as Daniel whirled her around the dance floor and grimaced, Lilah and handsome men like him were a disastrous mix. But she was a big girl; Nina had no control over what she did.

"Here."

She glanced towards the voice, dragging herself from her concern at the situation in front of her, to see Theo stood there holding out a bottle of beer towards her.

"I like that you aren't on vino like everyone else."

Nina laughed at that, "I seem to spend my life nonconforming...quite unintentionally."

Grinning he replied, "I like that in a person, I spent my early life being what I thought everyone wanted me to be. I find your outlook refreshing."

Contemplating that thought, she took another drink of her beer, "Daniel is a politician?" She had at some point realised she recognised Theo's brother from TV, newspapers. Her own father had been a government minister, and she found the whole world of politics both tedious and annoying. But Daniel was no hardship on the eye and she suddenly wondered if he might rekindle some interest in all things Westminster.

"You ask that with a wistful look on your face. Are you fancying him?"

Nina pffed at that, "no. I just suddenly recognised the man dancing with my best friend. From TV...it's a contradiction...a surprise to find he's so amenable in his profession." With an awkward grimace she smiled at him, but that froze in place at his words...

"And what about the man wanting to dance with you?"

Theo didn't know where that came from, he'd been determined to keep his distance, she was a complication he didn't need, plus she was too close to everything going on in his life, but there was something magnetic that seemed to draw him to her, and as she digested his question, her lips pursed as she thought of a witty riposte, he took her drink, laid it on the table then dragged her onto the dance floor before she could complain, resist or even fight.

But as he pulled her into his arms, hands on her hips, hers awkwardly landing on his shoulders, he suddenly regretted his impulsiveness. Her body was warm alongside his, her curves brushing against him, and from the calmness of sitting at the table with her, he now found that he was fighting his reaction to her proximity on several levels. He was in trouble. Way out of his depth.

Nina's eyes were level with Theo's shoulder, and chin, she couldn't see his eyes, and she was really glad about that. His hands were attracting ALL her attention, splayed across her back just a few inches from her buttocks. They were warm, firm and controlling, moving her around the dance floor; in contrast, her hands were on his chest, over his pecs just below his shoulders, and she felt weak, overwhelmed, her hands were helping her to balance more than anything else. She'd never known her heart race so loudly that it drowned out the music, and she'd never had the butterflies that threatened to uproot the wine, beer and food she'd consumed during the day, and never had a smell penetrate her senses so deeply as the musky aftershave that Theo Peterson wore. It was almost drugging in its potency.

She wanted to run; this was far too intimate, far too risky, and far too exposing. But she wasn't about to make a scene, plus she wasn't sure that her legs would support her if she let go of him. Glancing to her left, she spotted Lilah in Daniel's arms. The two were laughing, him repeatedly leaning in to whisper in her ear. Nina couldn't even bring herself to meet Theo's eyes. Terrified. That wasn't an emotion she was overly familiar with. But he was a true threat to her sanity; if his scent could affect her like this...she shook her head, dragging her thoughts away from the contemplation of a kiss. That would never happen.

Theo could feel her shaking. He'd found her proximity unnerving, entrancing but exciting, he couldn't push her away. But he wanted her to smile, to look at him and laugh at the same time that their bodies touched. He wanted her happy, willing, not petrified and quivering. He hated that she resented him so much. Not that he could blame her.

"If I'd known it was this easy to shut up your overactive tongue I'd have danced with you in France." It was a low blow, completely in keeping with every comment he'd made to her, but he didn't know how to break the icy barrier between. Yet it was a risk, she could storm off at the whisper.

But she didn't, she looked up, met his eyes, and he was lost. He'd not got close enough to study her so intently, she had freckles across her snub nose, and lip gloss on her full lips. But it wasn't those observations that made his heart race, it was those eyes, blue, dark blue, framed by long eyelashes that he knew were natural, big innocent terrified eyes. If they'd been alone he'd have never fought the overwhelming desire to kiss her, but they weren't alone, and it would be a disaster, totally wrong. He'd had no interest in a relationship, he didn't want to meet a woman, share his life with anyone, and he already knew that Nina wasn't the sort of woman who did casual, no strings sex. Just the thought of Nina in the same sentence as the word sex made his body surge and he fought away the desire as rapidly as he could. This was ridiculous.

She was staring at him and it was a moment until she responded and her voice was husky and thick with emotion, "and I'd have shown you JUST how great an idea that would have been."

Theo's reply, his voice was a mere breath in her ear, caused goose bumps to rise all over her skin, "I can only imagine."

She sighed at that, no real response other than to fight the sensation of drowning, she'd never felt so out of control, so needy, so desperate. Desperately she tried to keep her head clear. The song ended and people started to applaud the band, it was the sign that Nina needed the chance to take stock, get out of the intoxicating venue that was his arms.

Taking a deep breath she pushed away from him slightly, then gave him a genial smile. As she was about to speak, to break the spell gently, he stared at her, then with a shake of the head said, "saved by the bell, hey?"

Swallowing her emotions, she tried to smile, "I've had too much to drink."

She hated that he glared at her, almost seeing through the excuse that that was. She needed space, time, somewhere to breathe without him dominating everything. She wasn't trying to hurt him, but she couldn't make a lust and alcohol decision that might ruin all that she had.

He lifted an eyebrow, "I didn't take you for a coward Nina."

"I'm not a coward; I just don't want to make a mistake."

He laughed dryly, "and that's what I am...a mistake?"

"That's not what I meant." She shook her head, "I don't know what I want...I don't know what to think about you."

His expression froze for a moment, then he grinned, "I'm rude, arrogant, inconsiderate...you've made those thoughts perfectly clear in your own inimitable way. Have I got that right?"

Shrugging, she was relieved that he'd lightened the tone a little, so she replied, "you forgot egocentric, annoying and judgemental."

He laughed, "and there was me thinking you were starting to like me."

Nina shook her head resolutely, "I cost more than a beer and a dance Mr Peterson, and let's not forget this is a free bar."

As she sat back at her table uncaring for a moment where Theo was, just glad to be free of the intoxicating hold that he seemed to have over her, she felt a hand on her shoulder and Lilah sat beside her, "you didn't tell me his brother is the Daniel Gershwin." Nina had no idea what that meant and her face must have portrayed that, as Lilah groaned. "He's one of the new wave MP's, there's rumour he's being lined up for a cabinet position and they are already talking about his being PM one day."

Nina shrugged, "you know how uninterested in politics I am."

"But he is like the polar opposite of your father in all that he stands for, don't you find that interesting?"

Sighing she took Lilah's hand, "let me remind you, politics is an unforgiving mistress, I'd not head willingly or purposefully into that relationship!"

"We had a dance, and a chuckle, that is as far as it goes. I'm not about to dive into things. I promise."

Nina nodded silently.

"This is unlike you."

That made Nina's head snap up, "what do you mean?"

Lilah laughed, "be defensive as much as you want, but the tension between you and he 'whose name shall not be mentioned' is smoking hot! I saw you two dancing."

Theo was propped at the bar watching Nina and Lilah, they were dancing with a couple of oldies, they were some distant relatives, but he didn't know them well.

"She is a proper fireball."

If only Daniel knew the half of it. Theo didn't know what affected him the most, her stubbornness, the way she still seemed scared of him, or the way that she made him feel, the way he wanted to push this to the next level, a level he knew she'd not be satisfied with. Casual. He was once bitten...definitely twice shy.

He looked up at his brother, always so controlled, so demure, "she is...I don't even know where to start."

That made Daniel laugh, "really? Now that is interesting!"

"You reckon?"

Daniel patted him on the shoulder, "Sadie is Sadie, not everyone is like her, not everyone is so shallow, so selfish." When that was met with a confused shrug he laughed, "you've got it bad little bro, real bad."

That ruffled him, he wasn't about to lose his mind over another woman, especially one who wasn't afraid to show how much she disliked him, he wasn't going to be humiliated by a woman ever again, and his brother needed to know that. "You're wrong Daniel. She's just an acquaintance, someone I know through Mansell, that's all. She'll never be more than that."

If only he'd spotted Daniel's eyes widening, the slight nod towards his right he'd have known she was standing in earshot. Instead he'd dived in once again with both feet and finished up on the wrong end of a sad and derogatory look from Nina.

As she shook her head and stormed off, Daniel patted him on the shoulder, "you are one idiotic brother, you know that?"

Nina had been determined not to cry all night, but the sterility of a hotel room, the possible proximity to the man who she'd hated for so long troubled her. He'd shown her nothing but contempt, he'd been derogatory, he thought she was better than him, but then they'd talked, they'd danced...they'd shared a moment, lots of moments. If she hadn't been so scared they may have ended up in who knew what predicament. The electricity, the attraction, she hadn't felt that way before.

Nina hadn't let anyone in for years, if she kept distinct boundaries, she knew how to deal with things, she could cope, life worked well. But he'd got under that guard, made her think he was different...made her feel SHE was different. With an angry grunt, she punched the pillow.

"You ok?" Lilah's sleepy voice asked from the adjacent bed.

"I'm fine, just can't sleep, going to go for a walk. Ok?"

"Whattimeisit?" she asked almost back asleep.

Nina smiled, "too early for you to be up."

Six am on a Sunday morning and the streets of London were anything but busy, this was a time she loved, and her childhood home of London was almost bearable when it was like this, deserted, quiet. She left the hotel and strolled along the embankment. It was sunny already the summer was proving to be an exceptional one. After fifteen minutes she was feeling better, her head was clear, she was less angry and less aggressive. A cafe overlooking the London Eye was just opening, so she stopped for coffee and a ham and cheese croissant. And felt like a completely different person with her stomach full, caffeine surging in her veins.

Twenty minutes later and she was recovered, well as much as she could be with all her mental trauma, so she strolled at a far less energetic pace back to the hotel.

Lilah was still groaning from beneath the duvet when Nina returned with a McDonald's breakfast for them both, her second of the morning. The concierge had frowned when she'd entered the lavish reception with the golden M emblazoned bag, but Nina had winked at him and the sauntered to the lift uncaring. That made her smile, and she was still giggling when Lilah finally emerged from under her duvet to grab a coffee.

They travelled back to Brighton by train, and Lilah complained that she was dying all the way. So it was no surprise that she disappeared into her room as soon as they got home.

Nina, needing to be occupied, headed to her workshop and started on some bespoke designs, not heavy work, she wasn't up for that, but designing, that was what the doctor ordered. A clear mind and the distraction of trying to harness her often wild creativity.

Later in the day Nina's phone buzzed and caught her attention, glancing at the screen she grimaced at the presence of a message from an unrecognised number. Curiosity won over and she opened it, and it only caused her to groan.

'Sorry about last night. I am a complete bastard.'

She knew who it was, despite the lack of signature. She stared at it, angry, fuming at his attempt at...what was that? Wit? Self deprecation?

Tossing the phone to one side she ignored it for over an hour, but as she worked she became more and more distracted by exactly what she wanted to shout at Theo Peterson. A text message was never enough.

Eventually she gave in and grabbed her phone.

'I don't even know what that was. It definitely wasn't an apology. This is all so twisted, that it feels so wrong. I really want you to leave me alone. I have never asked you for anything. So please delete my number.'

Again Nina tossed the phone away, but it bleeped and buzzed almost immediately. She lasted half an hour before she packed everything up then snatched at the phone and stormed upstairs.

There were beers in the fridge and despite the fact that they'd had plenty to drink the previous night, she needed one, as she took a good glug from the bottle, she took out her phone.

'Don't blame you for being like this. I don't deserve a minute of your time, but I really need to see you.  I'm visiting Mansell tomorrow. Will you meet me, let me explain?'

She'd replied with a NO. Capital letters AND an exclamation mark. SO why, at five o'clock the following day, did she find herself heading in the direction of the hospital that housed Mansell Gershwin.