CHAPTER 10

Alone together.

It wasn't easy. Many people thought it was, but it wasn't. For me to talk about my feeling had always been hard. I didn't really know how to start or finish such conversations. I guess that's why my parents decided to throw me in a closed room with a person that majored in the human mind. That scared me, though; the thought of someone know exactly what's going on in my mind.

My appointments with Samantha Acker were going along just fine. I decided that I did have an interest in oil painting and my classes would start next week. Max was happy for me too; when I told him, he said my first painting should be his.

We grew closer, Maximilian and I. We had some classes together and every break we had, either being lunch or just bathroom break, we would meet up. Aria didn't like it very much at first, but now – even though she still tried to come off as mad – she'd grown accustomed to Ryan's and Max presence. Sometimes we would all be screaming bloody murder at each other, but other times – more peaceful times – we would just sit in silence, listening to the waves in the sea.

Like right now. Earlier this morning, during our lunch, I noticed something was off with Maximilian Tucker. Maximilian Tucker, the boy who always smiled. Maximilian Tucker, the boy who always makes me laugh. Maximilian Tucker, the boy who is always by my side. So as I walked to him, demanding to know what happened, I was greeted with the silence treatment. He looked mat me with dead blue eyes, and left. I heard his car engine and then silence. And not the good silence.

Ryan was restless, too. He didn't know shit and it was starting to stress me out the way he thought I knew something he didn't. I was in the dark too, just like him. Only worse, though. Ryan Sanches was a social man, so even if Max is not feeling the love in the moment, he has other people. Same goes for Aria. She has her Russian friends that I don't even have the courage to talk to. But me - good ol' Maya - I only have them.

So in that moment of despair, I turned to the person I trusted the most in that school. Samantha Acker. I knocked hard on her door and opened without permission. Unfortunately for me, she had another student in.

"Maya?" She asked surprised. Of course she would be surprised, I was just in there a few hours ago.

"I-I'm sorry for the intrusion, Ms. Acker." I said with a weak voice. "But I needed your help."

Nodding, Sam whispered something to the boy sitting in front of her and he got up right away. I smiled at him thankfully and he nodded, exiting the room.

"That's Arthur." Sam said as I sat down. "He's new here, too."

"Oh." I said. "Maybe I could help him?"

"It would be so nice of you!" Sam said. "Now tell me, what's going on?"

"I don't know." I whispered.

"You don't know?" She sighed. "How come you don't know?"

"I..." I shrugged. "Don't know."

Sam got up from her chair and walked me to the old couch on the back of her office. "Sit down. Just sit down anyway you like, feel free to take of your shoes and just get comfy."

I didn't take my shoes off, but I sat criss-cross. Ms. Acker sat on the ground in front of me and smoothed down her beautiful hair.

"Honey, how come every time you step a foot in this room, you suddenly don't know anything?"

"What?"

"Have you noticed that when I ask you a question, you never know the answer?"

"No, I haven't." I murmured. All of our sessions ran back to my mind and it was true. I never knew what to say.

"Why do you think that happens?" Sam asked with a frown in her face. "I am worrying about you for some time, now."

"I think it's because I haven't got an answer prepared." I whispered so lowly that I wasn't sure she'd even hear. But she did. Nothing goes unnoticed by Samantha Acker.

"What do you mean?"

"I really didn't know that I did that with you, too. The 'I don't know thing' - but I realized I do that very often. And then I started to think, like, why do I always say that, yeah? And I thought it was because I haven't thought about it. It's something my brother always says to me; I never don't think about it, because thinking is what I do the best."

My mouth opened and I couldn't shut it.

"I am not spontaneous or something like that because I need to think before I act, right? And that's not okay, because most of the time I have to ponder for about half an hour if I really want that pizza, or something like that. And... and I just want to be reckless."

Samantha nodded along with each and every word I said. "But why only now?"

"What?"

"Why did you come just now? Why not before?"

"I guess I wasn't really ready for the change." I said laying down on the sofa. "I miss my parents, I miss the comfort zone I had back home, but I am happy here. So happy. Ryan and Aria fighting everyday makes me happy. Rob and Tati make me happy, even though they are trying to hide their thing from me. Brent makes me happy with his awkwardness."

"What about Max?"

"Max?" I pondered. "Max makes me happy, obviously."

"Why?"

"Because..."

And I couldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't finish that sentence. Why?

"Because I don't know." I whispered, tears coming to the brim of my eyes.

"Oh darling." Sam cooed and got up on the couch with me. My head was set on her lap and she kept smoothing down my hair. It felt so good. Her fingers threading slowly through my tangled hair. "It's okay, Maya. Everything is okay."

"No it's not." I said with that messy crying voice. "I am so lost. I have no idea what I'll do when I grow up, or what's going to happen."

"You don't need to know what's going to happen, darling." Sam said. "The future is to be discovered, not to be known."

That just made me cry much much more. I was so angry at myself and, honestly, the silent treatment from Max didn't help my weakened state at all.

"Did something happen today?" She asked hugging me. "Something that triggered all these feeling in you to come out?"

I nodded.

"What happened Maya?"

"Max was mean to me."

I'd never been so offended by a laugh in my seventeen years of life. Samantha laughed with such vivacity that I couldn't help but cry more.

"I'm sorry, honey. It's just that you sounded like a little kid." Ms. Acker chuckled. "How was he mean to you?"

"He was weird today. Something was off." I murmured. "Maximilian Tucker is the boy that always smiles, and he just had this awful frown on his face - it bugged me. So I asked him what was wrong, and he just up and left."

"Oh." Her tone was suddenly serious.

"I felt abandoned." I whispered, my face almost on fire. "I felt abandoned by the one person I trusted the most."

"Maya, there are some things about Max that you don't know yet." Her chocolate eyes were poring out emotions. "Some things that only Max can tell you. And it'll will take a long time for him to do so."

"I understand. We all have secrets."

"Exactly. So please, don't be so harsh on him..." She said. "Max is such a good boy, and I'd hate for him to be alone."

"Me too." I whispered. "I'd hate for him to be alone too."

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I GOT MY COMPUTER BACK! YAS!

This is a short chapter, kind of like a filler for some things that are about to come XP

thanks for the understanding and stuff. 

See ya later, alienator Xx