CHAPTER 3

I'm screwed.

"Take me with you."

I swear the moment those words came out of my cracked lips, I felt like a thousand pounds were taken right off my shoulders, and placed into my mother's. Her eyes were frantically looking around the room, for some support when the big 'NO' comes out of her mouth. Well, she had none. My brother looked just surprised as I did and dad... well, dad was laughing his ass off. Think I saw a tear coming right out of his eyes.

Mom scoffed. "What?"

And I said it again. I didn't understand why she kept asking me to repeat, it was almost as if a part of her died every time I said those words. The gleam in her eyes went out and her smile turned upside down.

"No."

"Mom, hear me out."

"No."

"Dad?" I tried. He was my best shot at making this leap.

He sobered up a little bit, still chuckling at random times. "You're serious? Why would you even want to go with your brother, Maya?"

I didn't have the courage to tell them. I opened my mouth and closed again. With three pairs of expectant eyes on me, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. How does someone tell their parents that they are not happy? Because that's it. I am just not happy anymore. I mean, yeah, sure, I am not miserable, but I feel like I am not me. Not anymore. Something changed. And I wanted to find out what on my own.

"Never mind." I muttered. I made my bed, now I should go lay in it. No, seriously, I had just made my bed, and there I was, messing it up all over again.

They wouldn't understand. No one would. I am Maya Reed, after all. Always the sweet girl, right? It's a freaking curse that I just have to live with it. Only six more months, and then I am done. I can go wherever, with whom ever, whenever. I'll be free and I'll be me. Not the sweet girl, nor a rebel. Just plain Maya, a girl who loves animals and papaya vitamins. A girl that loves long walks on the beach, but in fact, hates the beach. A girl who, sometimes, loves to be left alone, in her own little chaotic peace.

Three hard knocks on the door echoed in my silent room and I knew who it was already.

"Come on in, Robbie." I muttered from my bed. His red curls pushed their way through the small gap in my door and wiggling his body in a very strange way, he managed to be fully in my room. "Why don't you just open the door wider?"

"Because your door makes a huge noise and mom is listening." Rob said laying down with me. "She listens everything."

"Yeah, everything but me." I whispered to him, looking into his greenish orbs. We never got to know which color my brother's eyes were, they were this cool green/blue/grey and we just chose the one we liked more.

"Why do you want to tag along, May?" He asked laying on his side, so that he could face me. "You hesitated downstairs. It's not like you to do that."

"Oh. That. It was just rubbish." I said trying to make him drop the topic. "I don't even know why I said that."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." Rob sang. "I know you kiddo. You are an over thinker. You calculate every step you take and every word you say. There is no 'I don't know why' with you, Maya."

He's right, as always. Smart one, this brother of mine. Never letting a single detail pass by. I sighed and kept quiet. Talking would only ruin it.

"I want you to come with me." Rob said in a mere whisper, almost as if ashamed to admit that he wanted me with him. "I would miss you way too much, and it would be nice having someone in the big house."

"It's a big house?" I asked almost laughing. I knew it wasn't. I knew he was getting a small house; lovely, but small.

"Okay, it's not. But I want you there!" He repeated.

"I want to be there too." I said and hugged my brother. He was just too cute.

"Then go and talk to mom."

Sometimes I didn't know how my brother managed to get a degree in Genetical Engineering. He's delusional.

"You know she won't let me go, right?" I said laughing humorlessly.

"No, there must be a way."

"Well, there isn't. I am in the middle of the semester, haven't got a clue of what I'll major in, much less where!" My breath got caught in my throat as I realized I was in deep shit. I was clueless. I had no idea what to do next, and I hated it.

"Maybe that could be your main reason! You're still trying to figure out what you want for yourself, and you just feel so close and stuck to this place that you can't know." He shouted happily.

"Have you been going on Wattpad again?" I sighed hoping he would deny it. Last time Rob entered on a Wattpad fever, we ended up making a Twilight marathon... and having to safe proof the house agains werwolves. Alphas could come and kidnap me at anytime, and according to Rob, I am 'Luna material'.

"No! I am being deep!" He exclaimed and jumped out of the bed, running to my wardrobe. When my dad designed my room he went all out. He was a known architect around our city and when it was time to make my room, he stopped all of his projects for weeks. The room was very modern and spacious, with a flowery wallpaper and black wood, the only special touch being the glass wardrobes. As a kid, I always used to draw thing and write on the walls. Didn't want to forget my thoughts, I used to say. So dad made me my own writing board with my wardrobes, where I could just use special markers.

Rob grabbed a glass marker and opened his computer. "We are doing this."

And we were actually doing it. Both of us typing furiously on our respective computers, the solution so close that I could actually feel it. Feel the calm breeze of the beach city, and hear the sea sound. I could feel the horrid sensation of sand and the awful humidity in the air. But I didn't care for any of those things. I cared for the good feeling that was starting to grow on me.

Sausalito has only two High Schools. Tamalpais High School and Marin High School. The route I would have to make from the small loft to any of those schools was no more than a twenty minutes walk. I could roll with that. Could Mom? Could Dad? Maybe they need me here. Rob moving already seemed like too much for them, even though he is twenty four; can they handle me moving out too?

"Okay, so we have almost everything." Rob said, sleep clear on his face as he eyes closed softly and reopened with alarm.

"Go to sleep, big bro." I said laughing. "We'll show them tomorrow."

"No, we need to finish this." He said launching himself on my bed. He managed to occupy all of my small bed with his arms and legs.

"We'll finish it tomorrow, Rob." I said from my closet, changing into pajamas as I talked to him. Millions of thoughts ran through my head and as I spoke my voice came out small and weak. "Do you think we'll make it? I really want to make it, Rob."

I heard a sigh and took that as a sign to keep on talking.

"I really want to make it." I said again. My closet was a walk-in, but not because I had too many clothes, my dad made it so I could have some privacy. "I really need to make it. I can't stay here anymore. Everything changed, everyone changed and I... I am still the old same little girl. Always the sweet girl. That's what I am, besides clueless. I don't have a plan for a future, Rob. When High School's over, I'll be, too. I needed this more than anything, and even though I know that's not enough reason, if it is a reason at all, that is all I've got."

I hear a gasp, and it was certainly not from Rob. As I exited the closet I saw my mother holding in her tears, sitting straight on my bed. Her beautiful brown hair was knotted on the top of her head and he blue eyes shine with unshed tears and momentary sadness.

"Mom..." My voice quivered and I got scared myself.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow." Her voice was definite and I now that tomorrow would be all I had. It was my chance and it was all I needed.

I nodded and walked over to Rob's room, since he would surely be sleeping in mine. It still looks like it did when he was my age and I couldn't help but think if that's why he has never brought a girl home. His wakeboard posters were still up. Somehow that made me much more comfortable, much more at ease on my own skin, because now I know that I am not the only one that needs this. Rob needs this too.

I fall asleep with that thought flooding my tired mind.

<----------------->

I was dreaming of a warm eyed boy. He was sweet and funny. His smile was big and it made me smile. It felt good. It felt real.

"Wake up, darling." Mom said, taking me out of my sweet boy. I don't even know who that was, probably just a figment of my imagination trying to picture my wishes. Oh, give it a rest. I am a seventeen year old teenager, of course I want a cute guy with warm eyes and a kind smile.

"I'm awake." I mumbled covering my eyes from the world.

"No, you're not." Mom said and laughed. "Now get up and let's go downstairs. Your father and I need to talk to you."

That's when I knew shit was about to go down. Or up. I don't really know. Detangling my feet from the sheets, I don't even bother to put some pants on, I just go downstair on my oversized shirt. It covered all it needed to cover, so I was fine with it.

My dad was sitting on the very far end of the table, his back straight and his face hard like a stone. Mom, on the other hand, was keeping things soft with her kind looks and inviting smile. "Come on, Maya, darling. We are going to talk."

I nodded and sat in front of my mom, and besides my dad. Rob wasn't there, and I was sure that I wouldn't be able to do this without him.

"I heard what you said last night." Mom started. "Thought about it all night. Told your, dad, too. We both noticed some changes on you over this week; you've been smiling less and running home from school. But I guess we just never noticed you were that sad."

"I am not sad." I stated. "Don't think that I am sad, because I am not. I guess I am just... lost." My cheeks flushed with the embarrassment of exposing my feeling to my parents. I've always been a little closed off. To say things like that, for me, is a huge step. And I knew they noticed that.

"Lost? But why?" Dad asked frowning. His hand covered mine and I relaxed a bit. "You don't need to know your future, Maya. You can just let it roll."

I scoffed. "It's my future we're talking about, dad. My major. My university, which is the place I'll spend the next four years or more. I can't just let it roll!"

"We can help you decide." Mom said.

"No, mom. You actually can't." I sighed. "This is something I have to do for myself. I won't have you nor dad to help me decide my next move forever. I need this independence, this certain freedom I'll have if you guys let me do this. It'll be like a prep-university life."

Mom and dad nodded, understandingly. I knew I was worried about them denying my request, but I would be sure to know that they would never do it without considering the option over and over again.

"Rob gave us a bunch of information you guys Googled last night." Dad said putting a small pile of paper in the table. "We happened to have done the same." And then he put a bigger pile on the table.

"You would be attending a school of our choice, if we were to agree to this. It's a condition. Tamalpais High School, I think it was. And you would be having a therapist session, to help you with your problems and decisions. Think of it as a professional guide." Mom said, her smile faltering. They were considering this. They were going to do this, for me.

"And of course, you would have to do a list of things before going." Dad said.

I smiled and straightened my back. "Of course. Anything."

"Well, first off you'll have to go to all of those doctor consults you just decided you didn't want to go." Mom said with humor on her voice.

Problem was, I hated the doctor. And the dentist. And therapists. And anything related to treating my own person. So I just found an alternative way to prove my health to my parents and skipped all appointments I had.

"Blood test included." Dad said.

I shook for a second, my fear of needle consuming me. Nodding, I repeated "Anything."

Mom and dad looked impressed. Nodding as well, they looked at each other. And it was the best thing I've ever saw. Raw proud in their eyes.

"We just want you to be happy." Mom said.

"And healthy, so those procedures are not an option." Dad warned.

"I know, pops." Laughing it off seemed the bravest thing to do, so it was what I did. "As I said, anything."

"Lovely." Mom clapped way too cheerful for my taste. "I'll go make you an appointment with the dentist."

"Dentist?" They were the worst. "Why?"

"You have to get those wisdom teeth removed, of course."

"Why? I don't want to get my wisdom removed. I don't have that much anyway!" I shouted grabbing my cheeks. They would hurt so much.

"From the looks of it," Dad said rolling his eyes. "you don't have any."

I let my head hit the table way too hard and it made a huge noise.

"Well, you did say anything."

I was screwed.