*Ethan's POV*
*Trigger Warning*

It's been two weeks since Dad has come over to talk to Mom, Sara and I. So far, he has been trying to restore his relationship with us. He's taken us to a movie and has taken us out to lunch. But our relationship is far from being a good one.

I guess I should start making an effort because so far, my walls are up. Sara is having a much better time of forgiving him than I am. Sure it feels nice to have my father back in my life again but it's only been two weeks and I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel there is a chance he may leave us again. Our dad has a lot to prove to us in order for me to be comfortable around him again.

Another thing that makes it hard for me to let my father in, is that he has been hinting that he hates the fact that my nails are painted. I try not to listen. He has no say anyway; if my mom were to tell to take the polish off then as much as it'll hurt me I would respect her and do it. My father has lost my respect when he left us so, I don't care what he thinks about me wearing nail polish.

Another recent decision I have made is that, I want to start growing my hair. Dad hasn't noticed which I don't thing he will until it is a bit longer. I don't know, I think I can get away with this because boys can have long hair too.
Heck, my dad had long hair too back in his younger days. Although I hope my hair doesn't look like a fro like his did back then.

When I do have long hair, I'm sure my dad will have something to say about it. Again, his opinion doesn't matter to me. A part of me wants to just tell my dad that I don't want a relationship with him but the other part is kind of happy that I get this second chance with him. Again, my feelings and emotions are all over the place. I feel so confused.

It'll help with our relationship that we will be joining Mom in the studio, giving us a chance to spend more time with Dad whenever we can.

The band rented a house for the recording of the new album. It's a pretty nice space and Sara and I get to explore all the rooms. We will also be able to work on school stuff while we are here. So we will not be bored what so ever.

That's what we are doing now; we are working on school work while the band records. It's mom's fifth day in the studio and so far so good.

Mom and Dad have been civil and are actually working together without an argument. Of course again, it's just the fifth day into the recording so things could change. I hope not though. I hope things stay like this and get better with time.

Sara and I are currently in the room doing some homework and just listening to the bands new music. 

I stop for a moment then look around the room and notice some toys laying in a corner. We have yet to meet our half siblings and just seeing those toys means we will be meeting them soon.

I don't know how to feel about that; I mean, they are innocent, just like us, but...I can't help but feel a little hurt thinking about my half siblings. After all, Dad left us for them.

I shake myself from those thoughts. I don't want to cry and think of the past. So, I go back to my homework.

Hours later, we are saying bye to everyone and we are on our way home. We all scatter to our own rooms once we step inside our house.

I get to my room and close the door; I change into my pajamas and sit on my bed. I let out a heavy sigh.

As usual, Sara comes into my room and sits beside me. She knows there's something wrong. Our "twin senses" are kicking in right now and she can feel my sadness.

"You should tell Mom." She says. "I'm positive that she will accepted you for who you really are. Maybe once you do, you will be so much more free of all the chaos you feel inside."

"I don't know. I'm scared." I replied.
"I know you are. But this is Mom. She is so loving, caring and understanding." Sara says as she places a hand on my shoulder. "I know for a fact that Mom would never turn her back on us."

I chew the inside of my cheek and have an inner debate with myself.

After some time, my fear of my mother not understanding is too great and shake my head. "No. I can't." I say in a whisper.

Tears roll down my cheeks and I want to run to my blade again, but, I can't because my sister is here with me. We may be close but she does not know that I self harm.

I pull at my long sleeves and have to calm myself before I blow my cover.

Sara comforts me for a while and she manages to calm me down. But as soon as she leaves, I'm left all alone again and the sadness and hopelessness creeps up again.

I rush to my bathroom then I get my trusty blade and pull my sleeves up but find that I'm running out of room on my arms.

I get desperate so I pull down my pants. I can see the thing I wish I could get rid of. I hate it so much. Why did I have to be born in the wrong body!?

I place the blade on my upper thigh and drag it across my skin. Relief washes over me; I sigh then I watch the blood come out of me for a moment.

I know this wrong; I just can't help it and I can't find the strength to stop.

Maybe I should listen to Sara and tell Mom that I'm a girl. That her only son his really her daughter. But I'm so afraid she will be disappointed and ashamed of me.

I grab a towel so I can stop the blood and just sit there for a while. I close my eyes and just go into another world where I don't have boy parts. I go into a world where a fairy godmother comes to my rescue and uses her magic wand to grant me my wish of being a girl.

That night, I actually do dream of fairy coming into my room and she used her magic wand to change me into who I really am supposed to be.

*Months Later*

*Stevie's POV*

Leave it to Lindsey to say something about my writing. Everything was going great but then as we were going over one of my songs called Thrown Down, things just deteriorated after that.

We argued back and forth until I said a remark about Bob Dylan. He didn't have anything to say to me after that.

I still can't believe he had the nerve to criticize and tell me how I should write my own songs.

So, being in the studio hasn't been pleasant at all. Today we got into get another argument and we got so heated that we were yelling at each other.

I could see Lindsey's hand close into a fist but he managed to relax his hand after a moment when he realized what he was doing.

At least that's progress; if this would have been five years ago, then for sure Lindsey and I would have used our fists to end a fight.

I'm so glad those days are over but still, the arguments still continue.

I go home feeling exhausted. Sara, Ethan and I walk into the house and a wonderful smell hits us. We walk to the kitchen and a smile spreads across my face.

Robert is taking something out of oven and hears our footsteps. He turns and smiles at us then he places the pan he just pulled out of the oven down on the counter. He takes off the oven mitt from his hand then walks towards me.

Robert places a kiss on my lips and says. "Surprise!"
I chuckle and say. "Thank you. Oh Robert! Whatever you cooked smells so good!"
"You're welcome. I know how stressed you've been in the studio so, I decided to do something for you so you can relax." Robert says. "Come on everyone. Let's eat!"

We all sit down and eat dinner together. This feels nice and I can't help but fall more in love with Robert. He's sweet, kind and caring. Of course, our relationship is not perfect. We do have a few arguments here and there but we get through it and once we resolve what issue there is, we find that it makes us so much stronger.

I look over at Ethan and I immediately worry about him. I've noticed for the past few months, he has been shutting down.

I can see pain in his eyes and I wish he would come to me and tell me what's going on. Every time I ask, he just tells me that he is fine.

My heart aches seeing him this way; he has dark circles under his eyes and he's so withdrawn. He barely speaks to anyone anymore.

Lindsey has noticed too and we have talked about it. I told Lindsey we should talk to him and find out what's going on. But so far, Lindsey nor I have asked Ethan what he's going through. We've been too busy with recording and arguing that we just haven't been able to talk to Ethan. I feel terrible about that. I feel like a horrible mother for not paying attention to my children.

Maybe I should ask him what is going on after dinner. Yes, that's what I'll do. I know there's something wrong in my son's life and I want to let him know that I'm here for him.

When we are finished with dinner, Robert tells me to go upstairs and unwind while he takes care of the cleaning up the dining room table and the kitchen.

I kiss his lips then head up to my room. Sara and Ethan walk upstairs together then I give them a hug and tell them I'll see them later.

Once in my room, I grab a nightgown and walk to the bathroom where I run a nice hot bath.
I get the temperature just right then I add some bath oils and light a few candles.

I take off my clothes and throw them in the hamper then I sink into the nice warm water. I sigh in relief and relax. For a moment, I forget about being in the studio and about Lindsey.

Moments later, Robert comes into the bathroom. I smile at him when I see him strip his clothes off then he walks towards me.

He bends down and kisses my lips, then he climbs into the tub with me. I move forward so he can sit behind me. Once he's settled, I lay back on him and relish his arms around me.

We talk for while about what's been going on in the studio and tell him what's been going on with Lindsey and the arguments we have been getting into. Robert becomes upset of course but I quickly calm him down and tell him to not worry.

Robert quickly changes the subject and he asks me a question he has asked me for the past few months.

"So...have you thought about what we have been discussing?" He asks as he kisses my neck.
"Robert...I...I have." I reply as turn my head to look into his eyes. "I would love nothing more than to have a baby with you. But...honey, I'm over fifty years old. I don't think it'll be possible anymore. Plus, I still have an album to finish with Fleetwood Mac and a tour that will follow. I'm sorry Robert, but...it won't be possible."
"But you said you haven't been through the change yet. So it's still possible." Robert insists. "And, we can wait until after the tour to try for a baby."

I can feel tears in my eyes and turn around to face him fully. I'm trying to get him to understand that I'm running out of time. "What if it never happens for us? Will you still love me?"
His face softens and he brings me close to lie on top of him. His arms wrap around me and he says. "Of course I will still love you. I hope I don't come off as trying to pressure you. That's not my intention. I'm sorry if I'm making you fell that way. I just...I have this picture in my head of us being together as a family with Sara, Ethan and a little Robert or a little Stevie running around."

I can't help but smile at the thought; to have a baby that is from both of us would be amazing.

"That would be nice." I say softly. I look up at him and say, "How about this? I'll make an appointment with my doctor and I'll get her opinion about the possibility of me having a baby. We'll go from there."
Robert smiles at me and says. "I think that sounds good. I love you."
"I love you too." I reply.

When we get out of the tub and dry ourselves off then we head over to my bed. Robert makes sweet, passionate love to me and we both cry out with pleasure at the same time.

We stay wrapped in each other's arms for a while. I can feel the love that Robert has for me radiating off of him.

I watch Robert fall asleep and smile at him. He looks so handsome and my heart gives a squeeze of happiness. How did I get so lucky to have met a man like him. I'm so glad he came into my life.

I then feel horrible as I remember Ethan. I didn't get to talk to him like I had planned too. I make it a mission to talk to him tomorrow for sure.

I am about to drift off to sleep when suddenly my chest feels heavy. Something is wrong. I gently get out Robert's embrace and get out of bed. I pull on my nightgown and grab my robe.

I pull it on, tying it closed and rush into the hall. I don't what it is, but something pulls me to Ethan's room.