Jily Oneshot: When Hell Freezes Over
Out of all the pranks that could have gone wrong, it just had to be the one humiliating enough to strip James Potter of the popular reputation he had built over the past seven years. Not that he cared about that reputation anyway. He only cared about not destroying the fragile friendship with Lily Evans that he'd been carefully building over the past two and a half months. He was playing a game of Jenga: one wrong move and a whole tsunami of wooden blocks would ruthlessly come crashing down on his head. But right now, he was more concerned about finding the counter jinx to the Farting Jinx that had been placed on him.
"Hey, Potter! How many beans did you eat for dinner last night, eh?"
"Not nearly as many as you, Lestrange. We all know you can't go more than two seconds without cutting the cheese! I almost feel bad for your dorm mates!" James hollers back at Rodolphus Lestrange hoping to cover up the sound of his latest fart. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't able to cover up the echoing sound, so he spins on his heel and marches off to the hospital wing while ignoring the snickers of the nearby Hufflepuff third years.
"My my my, Potter," clucks Madam Promfrey. "Back here so soon? What happened this time?"
"Farting Jinx," he mumbles through clenched teeth. Madam Promfrey chuckles before muttering the counter jinx.
"Off you go now, Potter. I bet you want to start planning a new prank now," she smirks.
Ignoring the last part of her comment, James hurries off with a muttered "Thanks" and pulls out the Marauders Map to find Peter. After all, Peter was the one who signaled all of them to jinx all the Slytherins. He just didn't realize that their jinxes would hit the mirror behind the Slytherins and hit James.
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"Oi! Wormtail! How in the name of Merlin did you manage to misfire a simple jinx on the Slytherins?" bellows an angry Sirius Black while he slams the dormitory door shut and throws his arms in the air. "The Slytherins!"
"Give it a rest, Padfoot!" sighs Remus Lupin, feeling very exasperated.
"But it was the Slyther-" whines Sirius.
"Pads, he's got a point. Peter didn't have bad intentions. Anyway, now we have time to create a better prank. You've gotta admit Farting Jinxes are kind of lame compared to what we've done in the past." interjects James, looking up from Quidditch Through the Ages and pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.
"You sound like Dad." Sirius grumbles in defeat as he yanks off his leather jacket and unceremoniously throws it onto the floor and collapses on his bed. "Where's Frank?"
"Think he went to go snog Alice in some empty classroom," answers Peter. "I hope they get caught. The pair of them look like two thrashing eels when they're with each other."
"Wait, isn't Lily patrolling tonight?" Remus questions. "I bet she wouldn't want to see Alice shagging her boyfriend."
"Speaking of Evans, how're things going with her, Prongs? Has she professed her undying love for you yet?" Sirius teases. "You've been friends for like what, a couple months? She should be falling for you right about now."
James sighs and ruffles his hair. He stopped messing up his hair to show off and started doing it when he was stressed.
"I don't want to ruin anything," he slams his book shut. She's finally warming up to me and if I ask her out, she'll probably send a Bat-Bogey Hex at me! And Marlene and Dorcas start laughing like mad every time I walk into a room! What the hell does that even mean? Why are girls so damn confusing?" James runs his hand through his hair again in agitation.
"Well, McKinnon is always laughing at some sort of shit and Meadows giggles like a crackhead half the time so your fly was probably undone, mate," Sirius reasons.
"They could be laughing at someone else though, Prongs," Peter pipes up.
"Or they could be laughing at Lily," Remus offers quietly. "You never know."
"Just forget it, guys. I'm going to bed. We've got that Quidditch game against the Slytherins tomorrow. Our biggest worry is McLaggen stealing the beater's bat again."
"If he does that again, I'm gonna snap his neck in two and kick him into next week," growls Sirius.
"I'll kick him in the crotch for good measure too," adds James.
"Oh, just shut the hell up and go to bed, you two," snaps Remus.
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James awoke the next morning at the crack of dawn to the sound of birds singing and the golden sun lighting up the pink sky and peeking through the curtains of the nearby window, illuminating his face. He throws his blanket off and gets up, yawns, and stretches his arms and legs before changing into his crimson and gold Quidditch robes. James pushes his glasses on his face and glances at the calendar. October 31st, 1977. He makes his way down the stairs and into the common room, clutching his copy of Quidditch Through the Ages.
James sits on his favorite armchair and nervously stares out the window while he absentmindedly bounces his foot, too nervous too read, and waiting for nothing in particular.
"'Morning, James," greets Lily as she climbs down the stairs from the girls dormitory. "What are you doing here so early?" James look up from the window to see the fiery redhead sitting a few feet away from him wearing leggings and a Gryffindor jumper, her emerald green eyes still puffy with sleep with a book clutched in her hands.
"Couldn't sleep," he stammers, hoping that she can't hear his hammering heartbeat. He never got used to seeing her enter a room. Whenever he saw her, he forgot all about the war raging around them. He forgot that he would be in the real world fighting in less than a year. Everybody else in the room just vanished the second she slipped into a room. He couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was with her wavy, soft, auburn hair and her clear bright eyes that sparkled when she laughed. And her personality. She was intelligent with the wittiest answers and didn't take shit from anybody. James could stare at her all day and it was in that moment that he realized that she was the only one for him. He also realized he was staring. Fuck. "How about you? Why are you here so early?"
"I normally wake up around this time," she chirps merrily. "You excited for the Quidditch match? We've finally got a really good team this year. All we need to do now is kick McLaggen off!"
"Erm, yeah," James chuckles awkwardly. "Listen, Lily, I'd better go make sure Sirius is up. He might sleep through the game and we don't have a reserve beater."
"Okay. See you around then, James!" Lily smiles.
"Later, Evans!" James returns the grin, practically glowing on the inside with happiness. She called him James. Sure, they were friends and were on first-name terms most of the time, but his heart back-flipped every time he heard his name come out of her mouth. He climbs back up the steps and into the dormitory trying to hide the grin on the face as he jumps on Sirius's bed to wake him.
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Lily watched James's figure disappear up the stairs and slumps in her armchair with a sigh and rests her face in her hands. They were just friends, so she wasn't supposed to feel her heart jump every time James walked into a room. She wasn't supposed to want to kiss him when she saw him. She wasn't supposed to stare at him during class instead of taking notes. What was wrong with her?
Two years ago, she hated James Potter and now? Now, she couldn't help but admire his messy raven black hair and hazel eyes with his broad shoulders and muscular arms. He wasn't as arrogant anymore, too. She found him to be quite cheerful and sanguine and never failed to find a bright side. He was always so calm and relaxed and made all the first years laugh. Sure, he pranked the Slytherins, but he never caused them any lasting harm.
He was always there to take notes for Remus before and after the full moon when he was too sick to come to class. He befriended Sirius despite his pureblood supremacist family. He gave Peter a sense of belonging when nobody wanted to partner up with him in Charms. James was the heart of the Marauders, and he'd stolen Lily's heart too. Lily hated to admit it, but she fancied James. And she fancied him a lot.
With one last sigh, Lily heaves herself to her feet to join her roommates, Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon, Mary McDonald, and Alice Fortescue, on their way to the Great Hall for breakfast.
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"Who do you think is going to get injured this game?" asks Alice as she sits next to her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, in the Great Hall.
"I bet three Galleons that the Slytherin Seeker, Flint, gets a nosebleed from a bludger," responds Dorcas through a mouth full of scrambled eggs.
"Three Galleons?" scoffs Marlene. "That's nothing! I bet seven Galleons that somebody gets a concussion again."
"11 Sickles that McLaggen yells at somebody, another 11 that Black hits a bludger at him. Oh, and two Galleons Potter tries to beat somebody up after Gryffindor wins," says Lily while she pushes her money on the table.
Alice interjects, "Well somebody's obviously going to get injured, so I bet a a Galleon and ten Sickles that Lupin gets told off by McGonagall for swearing while he commentates."
Frank chuckles and adds, "Seven Sickles for every time Remus decides to diss a Slytherin or calls McLaggen a son of a bitch."
"You're on, Longbottom," sneers Dorcas as she chomps on a piece of toast and sprays crumbs everywhere.
"C'mon, it's almost 11. We'd better head out," advises Marlene.
"Yeah because there's no way that we're going to end up in the bottom stand again," Lily agrees. "I swear to God, Dorcas, if you hold us up again just so you can hit on a guy, I will hex you into next week," she finishes in a snarl.
"Calm down, buttercup," replies Dorcas. "We've got 10 minutes!"
Lily gets to her feet, rolls her eyes, and retorts, "Just seduce somebody after the game, please,"
"Drama queen," mutters Dorcas, but she stands up too.
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"And they're off! It's Potter with the Quaffle, passes to Wood, stolen there by Montague of Slytherin who drops it due to a nicely aimed bludger from Gryffindor Beater Black and- SON OF A BITCH!"
"Language, Lupin!" shrieks McGonagall.
Ignoring McGonagall, Remus continues, "GET THE FUCK BACK TO YOUR POST, McLaggen, OR I SWEAR TO GOD-"
"Chaser Lestrange scores putting Slytherin in the lead 10-0 after McLaggen leaves the hoops unguarded!" interjects McGonagall.
"Johnson in possession of the Quaffle, dodges a bludger from Bulstrode and- SCORE! The score is 10-10 with Potter in possession, passes back to Johnson who passes to Wood who- was that the Snitch? It appears Gryffindor Seeker McKinnon has spotted the Snitch and is making a dive for it! Watch out for that bludger, Marlene! That's gotta hurt!" exclaims Remus.
A deafening crack echoes throughout the stadium as the bludger comes into contact with Marlene's jaw. Madam Hooch blows her whistle and 14 blurs of scarlet, gold, green, and silver shoot to the ground.
"It appears that Chaser James Potter is taking the post of Seeker leaving Alice Fortescue to replace him as Chaser! The current score is 20-10 with Gryffindor in the lead!" Madam Hooch blows her whistle once more and the 14 figures shoot into the air once more, each determined to bring a victory for their team.
The game progressed over the next 15 minutes earning Gryffindor and Slytherin 3 more goals each leaving the score to be 50-40.
"It's Lestrange with the Quaffle once more and he's making his way toward the goal hoops. For once, McLaggen is in the correct place! Maybe he'll actually save a goal for once! And Lestrange shoots and- WHAT THE FUCK, McLAGGEN? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU USELESS SHIT?! THAT SLYTHERIN SON OF A BITCH ALMOST SCORED AND YOU'RE TRYING TO SHOW HESTIA JONES HOW TO HOLD A BEATERS BAT? WHAT THE FUCK?" Remus throws his hands in the air.
"Potter and Flint have seen the Snitch!" shouts McGonagall, ignoring Remus who is swearing while running his hands through his hair in frustration. The two Seekers dive at breakneck speed, both neck and neck with their arms outstretched just centimetres from the Snitch. Rodolphus Lestrange's hands brush against the Snitch right before he loses his balance. His limbs flail as he tries to stay on his broom and James engulfs the Snitch in his sweaty palm as he Lestrange regains his balance and tries to push him off the broom.
"Potter catches the Snitch!" cheers McGonagall. "Gryffindor wins 200-50!"
Three quarters of the stands rush down to congratulate the team while James gets hoisted up onto the shoulders of his team, holding up the Snitch in triumph.
"We won!" bellows Sirius. "Party in the common room!"
James doesn't pay him any attention though. He catches a flash of red hair from stands and his eyes follow Lily as she makes her way down the steps, her face glowing with glee. A stupid grin rests on James face as he watches her cheer and jump with the rest of the house. Eventually, James feels his feet touch the ground again and he joins Sirius to steal food for their victory party.
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Music blares throughout the common room and shouts of laughter can be heard from outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. Teenagers are dancing and singing while sipping their firewhiskey and the Marauders are in the middle of it all.
Sirius sings in a mocking high pitched voice.
Listen, baby.
Ain't no mountain high,
Ain't no valley low,
Ain't no river wide enough, baby!
"Take it away, Prongs!" Sirius hops off the table leaving James standing to sing. Little did he know, James was a superb singer; he just didn't sing in front of people. But of course, with James's high ego, he didn't feel even a little bit nervous singing in front of the whole common room. He only felt nervous because he was singing in front of Lily. Nevertheless, he continues the song in his deep, smooth voice, causing nearby girls to swoon.
If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far,
Don't worry, baby
Just call my name,
I'll be there in a hurry,
You don't have to worry
At that moment, Lily hops up onto the table next to a surprised James and begins to join him as he sings.
'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough,
Ain't no valley low enough
James looks at her, both of them still singing, with a smile stretching across his face. Who knew that Lily Evans could sing so well? And who knew James Potter could sing so well alongside her too?
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you, baby
As Lily sings alongside James, she can't help but smile too, as her heart does back flips over and over again. She stares at him, admiring his smooth voice and contagious smile while he admires her eyes sparkling with joy and her rosy cheeks. Both of them stare at each others lips, thinking of how soft and kissable they must be, and without thinking, Lily reaches up on the tips of her toes, takes James face in her hands, and brushes her lips against his. James immediately responds, wrapping his arms around her waist and presses his lips against hers.
Lily felt explosion of happiness rip through his body as she smiles through the kiss. What was even better than the fact that she was kissing James bloody Potter was the fact that he was kissing her back with equal fervor. An eternity later, she pulls away with the stupidest grin on her face.
She mumbles, "What the fuck just happened?"
"Lily Evans actually kissed me," James whispers in response. "Holy shit." He leans in and kisses her again to be greeted by the fireworks in his heart.
They pull apart again and look at the crowd of Gryffindors gawking at them. Several girls send murderous looks in Lily's direction while Lily's friends silently squeal in one corner. In another corner, the rest of the Marauders stand. Sirius's eyes are as round and wide as Galleons while Peter looks shocked and Remus's face is alight with joy.
"I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, PADFOOT!" Remus shouts at Sirius. "PAY UP, BITCH! YOU OWE ME 12 GALLEONS!" Sirius grumbles as he extracts the change from his pocket. The sound clinking coins echoes throughout the common room as more people triumph and grumble over their bets.
"C'mon," James murmurs to Lily. "Let's get out of here." Lily complies and leads James out of the common room and outside towards the Great Lake. If they ever got the time they would discuss the game and maybe their plans for the weekend, but for now, James was the only thing in the world that mattered to Lily, and Lily was the only thing in the world that mattered to James.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading this! I know that the Quidditch portion of this oneshot was absolute shit, but I'm not that great at writing Quidditch scenes yet. I would really appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism on my writing as this is the first real piece of work that I'm publishing anywhere. Please tell me if anybody wants me to turn this into an actual Jily fanfic. If I can get this chapter to 50 views alone in the next month then maybe I'll write a story based around this. Again, thanks for reading!
~Madeline
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