I look into your eyes as you looked into mine; our eyes saying two completely different things.

My eyes are begging you to stop. Stop all the abuse. Stop treating me like a dumb toy. Stop taking advantage of everything I have.

Your eyes are telling me it's fine. Don't tell the cops. Let me hurt you and let me rape you in the middle of the night. I wanna see you fall apart.

And suddenly I do. I feel it. I feel my mind finally telling me something.

But my hands are still tied. The cuts are still bleeding. The hickeys on my neck are still purple. I had never truly been in love with you.

But how could I say no. How could I make all this trauma go away. How will I push you off of me when I just cannot stand it anymore.

I ran out of tears to cry. I ran out of blood to bleed. I ran out of chances to tell you to get out. I think over and over and over again, but the thoughts never stop. The nightmares never end - you were my nightmare. 

"I know you want this," he says to me. 

But he was wrong - I did not want this. I did not want this man in my life any longer. I did not want to be treated like this. I mean, what did I ever do to deserve this? What did I do to piss off the universe to be the victim of such a terrible act?

He squeezes my wrists tighter. I slowly become more and more nauseous with everything he does.

It is like I can no longer speak; or even breathe, for that matter. I have stopped. I have collapsed.

Thanks for all those scars and bruises.