You were today years old when you found out...

I think I found out how to actually utilize Floo Powder. No, seriously. Floo Powder. But, it doesn't have the cinematic elegance you're foolishly expecting and not to mention, it's also a hundred times louder. Kinda like an airhorn from that guy you're sitting right next to at the ball game. In addition, it's exhaustingly difficult and it takes considerably longer to rematerialize on the proper dimensional plane.

For any who are astonishgly confused at this point, I should advise that this is probably not a magic trick made for you. No, I take that back. I know this is not a magic trick made for you. That's the brilliance of inventing said magic trick. It was made for those who can genuinely appreciate it.

Those in the know know that Floo Powder is a magical element from the wizarding world of Harry Potter. It has the ability to transport the bearer to a different, sometimes terrible part of the planet. Port Keys have a similar function, but the mechanics are completely different. Floo Powder is thrown down while speaking the name of the desired location; however, it's amazingly important to do so clearly, as a mispronunciation can create awful repercussions.

Consider this as more of a project announcement; it has been legally funded (I feel I need to drive that particular point home) and all equipment has and will be expertly crafted and handled.

Now, there are going to be those who can see right through the magic trick. Before you include yourself in that group, you need to acknowledge a few things: First, I start every morning with only $5 cash (anything more is earned that day); secondly, I don't currently own a vehicle or any mode of transportation (The electric scooter I built was thrashed by a Miata... no, seriously); third and most importantly, an overview of engineering (mechanical, electric, and quantum mechanical) is required to make this whole thing work.

Okay. Did you figure it out yet? Cool, right? Now, don't tell a soul. It'll be the greatest secret we never shared. How awesome is that?

There are still probably a few nay-sayers out there who (for whatever reason) decided to read this far, but aside from asking the obvious, why are you still doubting me? In the last 3 months, I've spent less than $200 every 30 days, I've survived solitary confinement, I've read my Bible 3 times, I didn't have to plead guilty to a felonious charge for grand larceny after being wrongfully accused, I figured out how to ride Lime Scooters for free, I've dined-but-not-dashed-but-still-didn't-pay not just once but for an entire week (and for every meal), I've come into the possession of more than $60,000 worth of consumer goods, for a while I was starting my day in a million-dollar loft complete with an attached bar area and balcony, and I'm on a first name basis with the baristas at a coffee bar where I've never actually spent money. Do you really think something like Floo Powder would be any more difficult? 

If you want to see how the trick unfolds, follow me on Instagram: (at)natsaninja.

"But, Nat! I'm not on Instagram!"

"I said it, didn't I? Oh, I did? Ah, for crying out loud. I know this is not a trick made for you!"