WHILE ALMOST DYING was not the most pleasant of experiences to go through, Izzy couldn't deny that the recovery phase following the longest weeks of her life, wasn't half-bad. Since she and Chloe had brushed hands with death, the two had been granted some much-needed vacation days, and Isadora fully intended to put them to use without a care in the world. In reality, shutting off her anxiety-induced thoughts was a fantasy she had given up on long ago, but whereas Detective Decker didn't take long to start working a case from home, only to end up back at the precinct — whether or not that had been her intention all along — Izzy was embracing the time for herself.

          And, it wasn't entirely for herself, either. Needless to say, both Diane and Thor were reveling in the extra attention and opportunities to send that same love right back at Izzy. But above all, the Holt was taking advantage of the break from work in catching up on the space that had managed to wedge itself between her and Mazikeen, making things somewhat awkward with the woman. Thankfully, the latter had nothing against the plan — if anything, she was to praise for most of the effort in their budding relationship. They were in a strange place, and Izzy didn't have that much experience with relationships, Maze even less so — they were supposed to figure it out together, but a lot had been going on, and it hadn't turned out to be so easy, after all.

         By now, Izzy was certain that her issue wasn't with the demon dilemma anymore, more so with the idea of such definitive intimacy — the kind that she hadn't had since, well, ever. Making promises about being brave and taking every opportunity was easy right after nearly dying, and while the horrifying experience still haunted Izzy, she was now drained of courage. The truth was, more than being with a demon, she was scared of being with someone at all. It had been a lot easier without the labels on their relationship, but now that it was all out there, it was becoming a bigger and bigger challenge by the second.

        But, all challenges could be overcome.

       "So what about Lucifer's wings?" Izzy's voice broke the silence that had landed in the room, both of the women staring at the ceiling while gently caressing one another's fingers — hands not quite interlocking, but the curiosity was there, much like in their relationship. This was the new normal, so to say, Isadora blurting out the most intriguing questions at the most unexpected times, but like an open book, Maze never held back. If anything, she was desperate to release all her knowledge and get Izzy up to speed, help her understand and remove all the uncertainty.

       Without even glancing towards the redhead, Maze sucked in a breath and continued to draw patterns on the back of Izzy's hand, not skipping a single beat as she shrugged. "When we came to Earth, I cut them off like he asked me to do. He kept them though, but a while back, they got stolen. After that, he burned them", the brunette explained, her voice not faltering for a second, as if the words that hung in the air between them were the most casual thing ever. For Izzy, though, it was the thing that finally made her face the demon, shock and amazement evident on her features — she had truly underestimated the pain that Lucifer had endured, and she was scared to discover if that applied to Maze as well.

       However, she didn't say anything more. She rarely did in moments like these — a few days ago, she had wondered about Charlotte, only to be wonderfully overwhelmed by what she had heard. But it wasn't because she didn't appreciate the honesty, it was simply because it was a lot, and whatever she'd ever react with, would never be enough. It was about celestial beings, while she held hands with a soul torturer from Hell, and her very human attempts to console would hardly hold a candle to actually helping. So, instead, she always just gave Mazikeen a look of utter gratitude, and when she finally met Izzy's gaze, both of them leaned in for a haphazard kiss in the middle.

       And usually, their lips got to collide, but this time, they were interrupted by a rather enthusiastic eight-year-old, who didn't hesitate to jump over the back of the couch and land at the women's feet, causing both of them to hastily jump up.

       "You promised to take me to ice cream!", Trixie reminded — not only had the two agreed to babysit while Chloe was tackling another homicide, but Izzy had quickly made a vow to buy the kid some dessert. It seemed that the time had arrived, and while Maze was nothing short of grumpy in their interrupted moment, Izzy was already sitting up, hands leaving Mazikeen and grabbing Trixie to jump up and spin her around the floor.

        Indeed, like this, the poisoning was becoming the past, even if Izzy was still haunted by nightmares that had woken her up in cold sweat and panicked tears almost too frequently. But, with a session in Linda already in the plans, and things thriving on every other front, it was safe to say, she was coping. Whether it was the day she had reserved solely for baking with Diane or that time Maze had discovered a new dog beach for the two of them and Thor to enjoy together, she was recovering well. It wasn't perfect, but by now, Izzy had learned that things rarely were — it was all about accepting even just the good instead of reaching for the great.

—————

       "SO, TRIXIE, TELL me", Izzy cleared her throat, reaching from the backseat as much as her seatbelt allowed, to find Trixie and Maze in the front, with the latter behind the wheel and the youngest of the three happily nodding her head along to the music. Frankly, Isadora was quite proud of such a reaction to the classic rock songs she was trying to expose the girl to, but at her words, Maze lowered the volume. "Have you seen your uncle around?", the deputy poked gently at Trixie's shoulder, and in response, she turned to Izzy, but only to sadly shake her head.

        Instantly, a frown appeared on Isadora's pink lips. A few days had passed without her seeing or hearing from Benjamin, not to mention Lucifer — both of the men had vanished with a snap of fingers, but the worry in her was yet to expand to a point where she called them with a demand for answers. Instead, she had waited for a moment like this, an opportunity to inquire someone else — she had already asked Maze and Chloe, but both of the two had been just as clueless, though certain it had something to do with the events that had gone down, first with Izzy, and then with the Detective.

       "I think he is on a holiday with Lucifer", Trixie was quickly speaking up again, and just like that, the deep creases of thought on Izzy's face were wiped away by surprise. Following suit, Maze was glancing at the child while simultaneously keeping an eye on the road, and quick to pick up on the confusion that presented itself in the car, Trixie sighed, as if exasperated for having to explain something so simple to adults. "It can't be a coincidence that they're both gone! Mommy said they really like each other so they must be on a grown-up vacation together", the girl threw out her hands, speaking the words slowly to make sure that Izzy and Maze would follow, and with a choir of ohhhs, they were putting the pieces together.

       With a nod, Isadora was approving of the theory. "Okay, that sounds really smart, Trix. You're right, they do like each other a lot. I better not bother them then", she was breaking into a smile yet again, her eyes catching Maze's in the process with equal mischief — they knew exactly how fond the two men were of one another, and needless to say, with both of them being such spitfires, a surprise vacation without warning didn't sound too far-fetched.

        Izzy was already about to lean back in her seat, her arms dropping from the backs of the ones in front of her when Trixie suddenly piped up once more. "Are they boyfriends?", she was curiously questioning, and as Izzy and Maze shared panicked looks without certainty on how to answer, Trixie decided to add on before the two of them could even figure out step one. "And if you really like each other too, are you girlfriends?", the kid blurted out, nearly making Maze stomp on the brakes and Izzy squeeze the seat tight enough to make it burst.

        That was all it took to make the car ride excruciatingly painful, awkwardness settling right into the atmosphere as Izzy gulped and glanced towards Maze, who instead kept staring at the road with a deathly grip on the wheel. Heart up in her throat, Isadora licked her dry lips before reaching from the back again, hand finding Trixie's shoulder as she gave her a weak smile. "How about you think about what kind of ice cream you want, huh? Adult stuff is boring", she suggested, and while Trixie undeniably wanted to insist otherwise, she could tell that her words had lit up some kind of fuse, so she elected to respond with a quiet nod. Smart move, really.

        The rest of the time spent in the vehicle felt hot and heavy, and not in a good way — it was suffocation, and as soon as Maze had parked by the beach, Trixie was unbuckling her belt and hopping out, with Izzy right behind her. The only difference was, while Trixie enjoyed the fresh air and the warm rays of sunlight on her skin in her dance towards the ice cream bar, Izzy stayed back and carefully called out Maze's name, partly hoping for the chatter of the people around them to drown her words. But when the demon turned around with a quirked eyebrow, she sucked up the defeat and softly chased the woman who was already following Trixie.

        "Hey, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean—", Isadora was beginning, meaning each word. She hadn't intended to make it sound like a relationship was so utterly out of reach, but it was also a subject she had tried to avoid — she didn't know how to confront it, and she was afraid of the outcome. So, instead, she had hoped to push it away until things would click back together. But before she could say all those things out loud, assure Maze that she was into her in every possible way, the latter was flashing the most heartbreaking smile, simply because it was so evidently fake, as was the kindness she tried to channel through her words.

       "Don't worry about it", Maze nodded, "I get it, I'm not trying to push you", and with that, she was striding after Trixie. And usually, Izzy would have appreciated hearing that — she didn't want to be pressured, but there was a fine line between forcing someone into something they didn't want and giving them the push they needed to pursue something they truly yearned for.

—————

        AFTERNOON BECAME EVENING after three scoops of mint ice cream, and stopping by the Holt household so that Maze could catch up with Diane — another habit that did a splendid job in showing the more soft side of the demon — and Trixie could officially meet Thor. As always, the dog was more than happy to make new friends, but when the Espinoza reluctantly slipped out a yawn, the trio was back on the road. As the sun went down and the girl's bedtime neared threateningly, Izzy was smoothly guiding Maze's car to the driveway of the Deckers, roles switched with Mazikeen who was now seated in the back while Trixie barely stayed awake in the front. Over the single day they had spent together, the group had already bonded, and there was a bright, albeit tired smile on Beatrice's face when Izzy parked the car and the kid turned to the two women, beaming with joy.

        "Thanks for an awesome day. You're like cool aunts, better than the one I have now because she never comes to visit but if she does, she's always pinching my cheeks", Trixie pointed out while struggling to open the heavy door, but before Izzy could help her out, she was kicking it wide open and jumping onto the pavement. Her words, however, left Isadora smiling, and after promising that she could come to visit Thor any time, she and Trixie were waving at each other as a goodbye. Maze, on the other hand, stayed in the car that became awfully quiet as they watched Trixie skip over to the front door, where she stumbled into her mother's arms.

       As Izzy waved a hand at Chloe with a smile still dancing on her lips, partly because of Trixie and partly because of the relief she got from seeing the detective doing so well after a terrible week, Mazikeen was kicking a leg up from the backseat, and sneakily climbing into the front of the car. She was effortless, seeming almost lightweight as her leather-clad, sinfully long legs made Izzy gulp, and once she slumped into the seat, a whiff of her perfume got mixed with the conditioning, earning a sharp inhale from the redhead whose gaze suddenly dropped to her own thighs. The innocence of a child in the presence was suddenly torn from the air, and all that was left was the ambivalence of their unspoken situation.

       And for once, Isadora took lead on the situation, though not in the way Maze expected her to. With one swift movement, the cop was grabbing the levers of their seats, and as both of the women yelped at the sudden drop, they fell back and found themselves staring at the starry sky through the window in the top of the car, night enveloping them as Maze chuckled and shook her head at Izzy's attempt to make the situation less serious — successfully so. Hearing the honey-sweet sound fall from her lips made Izzy snicker too, and only when the laughter finally died down on its own, she took in a deep breath and remembered that some actual words should be spoken, as well.

       "I think I've been trying to go back to how things were", she finally sighed, her own voice sounding unfamiliar in the quiet hum of the car, but Maze, for one, didn't flinch. She merely stared at the night sky above them, silent and void of movement while paying devout attention to everything and anything the other woman had to say. "But, the thing is", Izzy cleared her throat, "I can't do that. I can't pretend like you're not a demon and like I didn't almost die and like this isn't weird. I can't go backwards, I need to just... move forward. But I don't know how to do that."

       When Maze didn't respond, she turned to her, only to find her still admiring the twinkling stars, even if she hadn't missed a single word to slip out of Izzy's mouth. She wasn't good with feelings or relationships of any kind, but she was loyal, and that applied to Izzy if anyone. "Me either", the bounty hunter eventually whispered, sounding far more vulnerable than usual, and it was putting Izzy on edge as she kept her attentive gaze on the brunette. "But I'm trying", Maze added, and at last, she met Izzy's stare, both of them feeling their hearts leap at the intimacy that suddenly took them in an iron grip. It was a weakness they shared — being so close to someone, in a romantic way at least, but they didn't cower from it this time.

       "I know. I appreciate it. Really, thank you, for explaining everything and helping me and all that", Izzy reassured, her hand finding Maze's, and this time, she didn't hesitate to entwine their fingers in the dark car, knowing it felt right. She didn't mention the incident they had had a few nights ago, after the day at the beach, when midnight had arrived and Izzy had woken up from a nightmare far worse than ever before. The near-death experience had taken a toll on her, whether or not she wanted, and while she wasn't generally a fan of bothering others with her issues, she had called Maze that night — even with Diane right across the house, and Thor in the same room with her, she had wanted Mazikeen's company specifically. And the demon had arrived without a second's hesitance.

       But even if she didn't bring it up, Maze knew that the appreciation was there.

       With a sigh, Mazikeen rolled more onto her side to face Izzy better, the lights outside being the only thing to illuminate her impossibly beautiful features and stealing her breath away too. "You drive me crazy, Iz. But... you're one of the few humans who do it in a good way. And all of this, is weird for me too, but I want to do it with you. Yeah, you know, I'm a demon — demons don't care, but I do. I know I don't say it a lot, but I mean it. I care about you", she muttered, fingers grazing across Izzy's cheekbone as she admired the woman, from the perfectly round dot by the corner of her eye to the soft dimples that appeared every time she smiled even in the slightest. From the mixture of green and brown in her eyes to the indescribably inviting lips she couldn't stop herself from glancing at constantly.

       "I care about you too", Izzy swallowed, nodding as if to confirm her words. "I know I've been a lot of work lately, but I mean it too. And, today, when I didn't answer Trixie's question... It didn't mean I don't want it, eventually. It's not your kind of thing, I know, but the truth is, at this point, you're the only person I want it with. I can't imagine being like this with anyone else", her words were like glass, careful and quiet, as if the slightest pressure on them would break them into pieces, but it was just enough to make Mazikeen smile in the most radiant way possible.

       Bravely then, Izzy reached out with open arms, and Maze accepted the invitation gladly. Uncaring of the fact that they were still parked in Chloe and Maze's driveway, they cuddled on the seats, a demon in a cop's arms with the latter's jaw resting on top of her dark curls. Hands enveloped, a tight embrace lulling them into the night and the peace of the night keeping them safe. Maybe, Isadora had been going through more than one recovery — and while getting over nearly dying was still a work in progress, she could close her eyes now in the knowledge that the puzzle pieces of her and Maze's relationship were finally falling together.

      One last time, Isadora disrupted the quietness. "You're pretty amazeing", she mumbled into the woman's hair, the dorky words earning a loud laugh from Mazikeen who shook against her chest.

       "That was cheesy", she chuckled quietly, before resting closer to Izzy who merely tightened her arms around her, "you're lucky you're pretty isadorable."

»»»

this is pretty much a filler chapter, but since 2x13 and 2x14 are two weeks apart, i feel like it would have been a waste to do that jump when i can spend the "extra" time developing mizzy (: things were still a little ehhhh between them but they're definitely working through it! i also rewrote this like 3 times because it sucked but now i've just reached the point where i tell myself the awkwardness of this chapter was a creative choice to make it more realistic ((((:

anyway, the next two chapters will include major spoilers for the ending of light me up. again, you don't HAVE to read that book to understand what's going because it will be explained, but if you plan on reading it, proceed with caution (: