[Synopsis: Player and the gang decide to try out the medieval mod again! And things are a little switched up in terms of roles compared to last time...Not everyone is keen on their assigned roles, though. Especially given the circumstances.]

[Location: Polus outpost]

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"Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was kind of a spoiled jerk wad who treated his friends and staff like losers.

"So anyways, one night in the dead of winter, an old beggar woman came to the castle, offering the prince a single rose in return for shelter from the blizzard. But since the prince was totally put off by just how ugly she was, he sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be fooled by appearances, because true beauty is found within. But when he dissed her again and tried to slam the door shut, the old woman's supreme ugliness melted away into supreme hotness as she suddenly turned into an enchantress. Now, when he saw THAT happen, he tried to apologize to her, but it was too late by then; the enchantress saw that there wasn't a single ounce of love in his heart.

"So as punishment, she turned the prince into a hideous Impostor, and placed a powerful spell upon not only the castle, but everyone else who lived there, too. And you can probably figure that this prince-turned Impostor was pretty ashamed of his monstrous form, so he kept himself concealed inside his castle most of the time. Now, the rose the enchantress gave him was...well...enchanted. And it'd bloom until he was 21. If he could learn to love another person and earn their love in return by the time the last petal fell from the rose, then the spell would break. But if not, he'd be doomed to remain an Impostor for the rest of his life. As the years went by, he fell into despair, and lost pretty much all hope...'Cuz I mean, really. What kinda moron would ever want to love an Impostor...?"

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"...So what do you think of it so far, Player?"

"I dunno, Vet. I mean, the premise is pretty good, but the narration feels a little...well...It sorta breaks the immersion of doom, despair and suspense. Maybe make it sound a bit more sophisticated and serious?"

"You know as well as the next guy that I equate 'sophistication and seriousness' with boringness."

"...I think you mean boredom."

"Psh, whatever, Mr. 'A' in English, I just thought it'd make it sound cooler..."

"Ah, come on, Player. I thought it was pretty cool! Heh heh," MrCheese giggled lightly.

That's ironic, Veteran said to himself, subtly raising an eyebrow as he closed the WIP storybook he had in hand.

"So this is what you call 'medieval mod,' Captain?" the Snorkel asked. "I have not played this before; I hope it does not disappoint."

"でも面白そうですね," Ninja replied to the Russian crewmate beside him, shrugging a bit. Something like this wasn't conventional for him, but he was intrigued, so the violet bean figured he'd roll with it.

"Well, if we're all ready, I'll start up the game!" Captain announced. "Boy, I hope I get the role of the knight again...That role was so OP! So. OP."

Player shut his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't be chosen as the squire again just as much as Captain hoped to be the knight as the screen booted up and showed him his role.

Please don't be squire, PLEASE don't be squire...

...

...

...

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WIZARD

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"Huh...Ah...Ha...! Ha ha HAA, YES!!"

He spawned into the game and found himself cloaked in a black long coat with bright scarlet trim, his signature beanie having been turned into a pointed woolen cap, which was now gold instead of crimson. In his right hand he now held a short, polished wand made of rowan wood, its handle intricately curved to fit the grip of his hand and trimmed with small, intricate moldings in the wood at its base.

"This is AWESOME!"

"Oh, hey dude. You got the Wizard role?"

"Heck yeah, I did! Oh man, wh-what can I do? No wait, no wait! Lemme try something!"

He pointed his wand at a small rock on the ground a few yards away, then cleared his throat and spoke.

"Carpe Retractum!"

A beam of light shot from the tip of Player's wand, then wrapped itself around the stone and then slowly drew itself back, carrying the object towards the cloaked figure.

"Ha...! It works! I did it!"

"Awesome sauce, dude! Man...I'd like to be the wizard at some point."

"Are you the king again? You look the same as the last time we played this mod."

"Yeah. Crazy coincidence, am I right? Now! With my royal scepter, I command thee to obey my every order, and swear your loyalty unto me until thy dying breath doth part from thee!"

"I pledge to give my life for thee, your majesty...Man, this is a lot more fun than I remember."

"Well, ya got a less crappy role this time, so that's probably part of the reason why."

"I certainly wish I could say the same."

TheGentleman's familiar voice came from just behind the king. The two friends turned around to see him standing there, his velvety top hats replaced with a stacked pair of crudely woven straw hats, and his dashing grin replaced with a sour frown.

"Whoa, TheGentleman! Izzat you, dude?"

"Unfortunately...I regret to inform you two that I've been bestowed the role of..."

He visibly and audibly cringed before finishing the sentence.

"...The peasant. Urgh, how insulting..."

"Oh my God, that's hilarious."

"Hey, at least you get to play dead," Player shrugged. "That might come in handy if you use it to try and bait an Impostor. It could be pretty OP."

"So. OP."

"Hurmph...I guess it'd be worth a shot."

"At least you can DO something," MrCheese called to TheGentleman from the dropship, having donned a blue cape and bycocket, a red feather sticking out from the side of the latter. "All I get to do is just sit here and look cute!"

"Well, do you think that's a bad thing?" TheGentleman remarked, sending a small smile his way.

"Well...I guess if I look cute, that makes me feel better."

"We'll rescue you from the Impostors at large, my sweet cheesy prince," TheGentleman promised him. "And I'll come visit you every so often to keep your spirits up!"

"Heh heh, well thanks."

"So anyways. Player. Veteran." TheGentleman addressed. "What do you suppose we do to try and find out who our rapscallions are?"

"Well, it's not us," Veteran shrugged. "Player and I are on the side of good. I mean, look at his house colors! That looks pretty noble, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does," the charcoal bean nodded. "Well, if I can trust the two of you, then I suppose we'd best find another to join our camaraderie."

"Hey guys!"

Dum called out to them, and as she rushed towards the trio, they all noticed her conical wooden helm that was lined with iron, her shield made of the same materials.

"Hey, sis," Player greeted, immediately recognizing the gear she had on. "Looks like you're the one who got the squire roll this time, huh?"

"Yeah, but hey, at least it's kinda useful. Once my shield goes out, I might try distracting the Impostors!"

"Uh, dudette. That's, like, MY fortissimo. So canest thou not crampeth my style?"

Stoner was the next to appear, having donned a fool's cap that was colored green, white and purple.

"If any threats show up, I'LL be the one to distract 'em. Doth thou understandeth me?"

"Can I at least be a back-up distraction if anything happens to you?" Dum asked him.

"Eh, fine, sure, if it gets to that point."

"ここで生存計画について議論していますか?"

There was no mistaking Ninja's voice, and when they all turned to face him, they gasped; his simple headband had been replaced with a black iron kabuto with a crimson single-piece wakidate on its front, shaped like a pair of rising flames. Plated, slightly squarish armor covered his entire form save for his cloth and sandal-covered feet, and he now had two sheaths, each holding its own katana.

"私はいくつかの役割がパーソナライズされた化粧品に付属しているという事実が好きです," he continued. "これは本質的に私の国で騎士がどのように見えるかです. 残りの皆さんも本当によく見えます."

"Wow, Ninja! You look awesome!" Player cheered. "So, since you're the knight...er...samurai, I guess? What do you think our best course of action would be for now? Any info on our Impostor situation?"

"はい、私は情報を持っています," he nodded solemnly. "恐ろしい魔女、シュノーケルドノは、彼女の暗い魔法で私たち全員を殺すことを計画しています."

"...What did he say, Prince Cheesy Boy?" TheGentleman asked MrCheese, who was still hanging on to the conversation from the dropship.

"He said Snorkel's the witch and she's after our lives!" he called back. "Yeah, you guys might wanna, like, find a good hiding spot until you can figure out a plan to stop her. I heard some magic bursts not too long ago coming from somewhere in the distance, so I think she's honing her skills."

"We'd better find somewhere safe so we can formulate a plan." Player remarked, gripping his wand a bit tighter. "King Veteran. Any ideas?"

"Well, since this mod doesn't take the map factor into account, pretty much the entire planet of Polus is accessible. There are caves surrounding the outpost on the south and west ends, so we could probably find somewhere to hide there until you're strong enough to face the witch." 

"彼女が私たちを見つけるのにしばらく時間がかかりますが、急いでください," Ninja nodded in agreement. "あなたはここに隠れるのに良い場所を探します。私はあなたの先に行きます."

"He said he'd scout ahead and for you guys to look for back-up hiding spots!" MrCheese translated.

"Alright then," Veteran announced. "Let's split into groups of two. Player, you come with me. TheGentleman and Stoner, you two stick together. And Dum. You stay with MrCheese and protect him."

"Well, 'scuse me, I'm completely capable of taking care of myself, TheGentleman," the latter pouted.

"Veteran, I didn't get the squire role just to stand around and be bored. I wanna see what I can do with it! Maybe uncover it's advantages, y'know? See if I can make it easier to use in the future?"

"Well, I guess that is a plus," Player agreed. "But there's no one else for you to team up with now that Ninja's already left to scout the caves. You'd have to go looking for a new safe place yourself...Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, it adds to the thrill!"

"Well...okay," the red crewmate nodded. "Veteran. I had an idea. If we can find a big and well-hidden enough cave around here to hide out in, I might have the room to practice my own magic in. If we're gonna beat this witch, we're probably going to have to fight fire with fire, because it's the most powerful thing we've got right now."

"Agreed. And by fire, you mean magic, right?"

"No, I mean baked macaroni covered in breadcrumbs," Player retorted.

"Ooh, awesome! Sounds delicious!"

"Never mind...Are we ready to go, your most voracious majesty?"

"Ready we are," he replied, raising his scepter. "Now! Everyone scattereth!"

The group dispersed in a hurry upon the king's command, Dum going off towards the west while the others branched off southwards.

"That's weird. Usually, the one to tell everyone to scatter is..."

She trailed off when she suddenly realized something.

"...Captain."

She hadn't seen him that entire round. But there was no indication that he'd left the game; if he disappeared somewhere, wouldn't he tell someone? And even if he didn't, wouldn't someone at least notice he was gone? Well...everyone was pretty involved in their roles at the beginning of the round, including herself. In hindsight, it was actually reasonable that he could have gone off somewhere.

Maybe he's one of the Impostors, too... she surmised. Maybe if I find him, I can expose him, AND find us some shelter!

With that in mind, she head further west...The path she chose was a shallow ascension uphill, which lead to one of the cave clusters. She was pleased by how easily accessible the area she found was, considering their situation. Now all she had to do was find a suitable cave to take shelter in...Most of the ones she found were only big enough to fit two or three people in, and some of the entries were a bit to small to squeeze through easily. But she still peered into the ones she knew weren't viable for the group in case Captain was hiding away in one...She had no muck finding him, though.

Just when she considered going back and looking elsewhere, she spied an absolute MAMMOTH of a cave; at first she thought it was a small hill from the angle she'd spied it at upon her ascension, but now facing its mouth, she could easily say that the cave was the size of a barn, and its mouth the same width and height as a large street tunnel.

"Oh, alright! This place is perfect...!" she rasped to herself, trying her best not to attract any unwanted attention, should any threats be nearby. When she went inside, she discovered a single pathway dipping slightly under the surface level of the ground, making a turn towards the right.

Just when she stepped inside, a strange noise caught her attention, and she froze, startled by it...When she leaned in and tried to process what she heard, she was left befuddled.

It sounds like...breathing, she figured, the breaths she was hearing sounding short and sharp, almost like something was sniffing...And they were coming from somewhere inside the cave.

Perplexed and slightly concerned for her wellbeing, but also increasingly curious as to what might be in the cave with her, she proceeded with caution...She was fortunate that the cave let enough light in to illuminate the inside of it, otherwise she'd be scrambling for a match she didn't have.

"...Hello?" the squire called out quietly, uncaring of the risks announcing her presence might entail; she didn't need protection just yet, but she DID need answers.

To her dismay, Dum got no response, but as she approached the corner of the tunnel, the muffled breathing grew louder, and it now sounded more like...sobbing?

She took a peek around the corner, slowly trying to see who or what was at the tunnel's end, and there at the end of the cavern, barely five yards away, she saw...

"...Captain?"

The peaked cap on his head was the dead giveaway, but Dum was a bit startled by the fact that her boyfriend was now the size of a small house and covered in white down. His pteropine wings, the row of spikes along his back, his claws and the small, pointed horns jutting out from either side of his undersized cap looked like they were made of gleaming silver, perhaps with the smallest touch of gold mixed in...He was curled into himself, his massive forepaws covering his eyes as he lay there weeping, still unaware of Dum's presence.

He's the dragon, she quickly realized. But...what's he doing in here like this?

"...Cappy, are you okay?"

Upon stepping closer, her voice finally made its way into Captain's pointed ears, and he suddenly jerked his head up to spot her there before jumping up, thoroughly startled.

"AH! Dum! How'd you find me!? What're you doing all the way out here, why!?"

"Well, it's basically a free for all this round, so we can leave the main outpost," she shrugged, looking him in the eye...There were wet tear tracks streaming down from his visor, slightly matting the down along his cheeks.

"...Why're you hiding in here, Cappy? What's the matter?"

"I...I just..."

He swallowed, then looked at his forepaws, then down at her...She was so small compared to him now. One false move and he might accidentally...

"J-just look at me, I'm a horrible monster," he choked out. "I thought the whole werewolf thing I have going on was enough to deal with, but now this, I'm huge and dangerous and a monster to the others, oh God, why...?"

He curled into himself again, hiding his visor back in his folder forelimbs.

"Cappy, Cappy, no, it's...D-don't cry, Cappy, it's okay," Dum assured him, slowly approaching and reaching her hand out. Captain only shrank back upon seeing her gesture.

"Don't Dum, I'm a monster, stay back..."

"Cappy, no. No you're not," she said to him, her tone ever so slightly firmer as she repeated herself. She gently placed her hand on top of his exposed forepaw before continuing. "...I didn't know you were so bothered by that still after we worked it all out."

"N-not all the time," he said to her. "B-but every full moon when it happens, at some point, usually after you've fallen asleep that night, I think about...how it got to that point. Wh-what I did. How it got like that...I'm afraid I'll make that same mistake again, Dum. O-or that I might still hurt someone, even after Engineer figured out how to..."

He shook his head, prying his eyes away from Dum's and shamefully looking down at the mauve floor of the cave.

"...I'm sorry, Dum," he whimpered. "I'm sorry I put everyone through so much pain, and I'm sorry I was the one who caused everything, I...I'm sorry. I don't know what to do...I don't know what to do, Dum..."

He squeezed his eyes shut again in an attempt to stop the flow of tears, but his efforts were in vain. A fresh new stream of them cascaded down his cheeks, and the down of his face continued to grow more and more damp.

"Oh, Captain..."

She stepped up onto his massive forepaw, being careful not to hurt him in spite of his size, and she leaned against his damp cheek with her arms spread out in an attempt to console him...It was the closest thing to a hug that she could manage.

"What's wrong with me, Dum? Wh-why do I do things like this...!?"

"Shhhhhh, shhh, it's okay. I promise it's okay."

The pink-clad squire gently stroked a spot of dry down just above his eye...Each bristle of his pelt was lined with delicate fringes, which made them softer than the finest mink fur.

"We all make mistakes, okay Cappy?" Dum continued to whisper to him. "And those mistakes...? They're far behind us. Everyone's forgiven you for them. I have. Player has...If you were still bothered by them, why didn't you tell anyone until now?"

"I...I-I didn't want anyone to be too worried about me. Besides, it was m-my fault to begin with, so I didn't think I..."

He trailed off and dipped his head back down again, his snout hidden beneath his forepaws. Dum only continued to stroke his down-covered face, trying to hold onto him tighter.

"You know we all love you, right Captain?" she said to him. "Me especially...You can always tell us about things like this. Always. Because you mean so much to us, Captain...You mean so much to me."

The more she spoke, the more Captain seemed to calm down, his breathing growing less ragged and the flow of his tears slowing down.

"No matter what you look like, I'll never stop loving you, Cappy," Dum promised. "And don't ever think that you'd be a burden to anyone if you needed to come to them for help. Including me...Especially me. Okay?"

The dragon sniffed loudly, then rose his free forepaw to wipe away the tear tracks still clinging to his face before answering her.

"...Okay," he replied, voice still quiet and creaky.

"And you don't have to worry about being a danger to us...Even if something like that did happen at some point, we'd figure out a way to fix it, like we always do."

"You really would?"

"Of course we would," the squire promised him again. "...You're so special to me."

She tilted her head up and planted a kiss against his cheek before nuzzling her own into its down again. For the first time since she'd found him, Dum saw a faint indication of a smile across his muzzle.

"You're a big soft baby, that's what you are."

"Heh...Th-thank you."

In return, Captain gently and carefully lifted his free paw and wrapped it around her, squeezing her just a bit closer as he leaned his head in slightly more. With his breathing now slow and even and surrounded by nothing but warmth and softness, Dum wished the moment between them could last all day.

...But that was when she remembered her task at hand.

"You feelin' better, Cappy?"

He nodded lightly, humming in confirmation.

"Yeah...Thanks for that, Dum."

"You're welcome, Marshmallow...Say, um, I need to get back with the others; I came out here to look for a good shelter from the witch, and they're probably wondering where I am by now."

"Oh, that's right! The game!" the dragon exclaimed, raising his head up and opening his eyes more. "The game...Agh..."

He started to frown again.

"I...I know I'm kind of supposed to, but...I don't think I want to go out there and burn everyone to a crisp. Especially you, since, well...You know what I mean, right?"

"Hm...Well, if you don't wanna kill anybody, why don't you just join us?"

"Join you...? I can do that?"

"I mean, I guess you can! We've already got the witch readying to strike at some point, so we're looking for a spot to hide out for a while so Player can practice his own spells."

"Player? Spells? Is he the wizard?"

"Sure is! And I think he's enjoying it."

"Holy wowza! I gotta go congratulate him on that! Maybe once we find them if they're still looking for a hideaway, we can bring everyone back here!"

Dum got down off of Captain's forepaw, and nearly the moment she was on the ground, Captain pushed himself up onto all fours, then started making his way to the cave exit, the squire alongside him.

"Sorry you got the squire role; I remember Player was kinda bummed out by that one."

"Eh. I can do more than what I was able to do as the princess," she shrugged. "So it's not a total loss."

"True...What say we get a dragon's eye view of the area so we can spot the others more easily?"

By then, the mouth of the cave was visible to them, straight ahead.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Then climb aboard!"

With that, Captain lowered his front half back down to the ground, allowing the squire to hop on and saddle herself onto the base of his neck.

"Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. Please secure all luggage and fasten your imaginary seatbelts as we prepare for takeoff."

As he began to make his way towards the cave opening, slowly gaining speed, Dum watched as his wings slowly spread open. They glimmered beautifully in the light of Polus' twin moons as they shone down into the cavern.

By then, Captain was running, and Dum could feel the wind rushing beneath them as he barreled down the makeshift runway.

"Thank you for choosing Dragon Airlines! Enjoy your flight!"

As soon as they exited the cave, Captain's wings rose, and then with one swift sweep, they lifted them off the ground. Only a few more beats took them higher, and the mauve ground below quickly grew farther and farther away.

"Okay, Captain!" Dum hollered, somewhat hard to hear due to the wind blowing in Captain's ears. "The others are towards the south! Let's see if we can find 'em!"

"Roget that, copilot!"

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...

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"...You don't think Snorkel might be anywhere near, do you Player?" Veteran asked.

"I don't know, but I can check..." he replied, raising his wand. "Homenum Revelio!"

A wave of energy washed over the crew, and Player kept his eyes shut all the while.

"Like...what's that do?" Stoner inquired.

"It gives away the location of anyone else that might be nearby," Player told him. "It's not picking anyone up in or around the cave, though. Guess the coast is clear."

"みんな!"

The familiar voice of the armored samurai sounded off due east, and Ninja approached with a smile on his face.

"私は完璧な洞窟を見つけました!" he announced. "さあ、私はあなたにみんなを見せます!"

Everyone looked at one another knowingly, then the king rose his scepter.

"Thy foreign words fall on deaf ears, Samurai Ninja! I hereby command thee to only speak in the tongue of thine brethren for as long as this round shall last!"

"You think...? Oh. Ugh...I see. Well played, Veteran-heika," the armed figure replied in acceptance. "But as I was saying, I have found de perfect-u cave for us to shelter in. Well-hidden. and-u big enough for you to hone your skills to vanquish the evil witch-u, Player-kun. As was planned."

"Really?" Player smiled. "Awesome! Lead the way!"

Ninja nodded, and everyone followed him as they trudged through the snow-covered, cave-ridden landscape...It took a good few minutes for Ninja to stop at the cave he'd picked out; the opening wasn't very big, only being big enough to fit in one person at a time, but the subterranean interior looked plenty sizeable, so it seemed like a good spot.

"Not bad, Ninja," Veteran nodded in approval as he slipped into the hole, being careful not to get himself stuck as he pushed his way into the cavern. "Player should have plenty o' room to practice his spells in here, right dude?"

"M-hm..." the red crewmate answered flatly.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Kind of...I just realized that Captain's not with us."

"Oh, yeah..." Stoner added. "I thought somethin' was missin' from the group...Anyone know where he might've headed?"

"Come to think of it..." TheGentleman remarked. "I don't recall seeing Captain all round."

"Hm...Maybe we should go look for him," Player figured. "If he hasn't been around all round, I suspect something might be wrong."

"But-u isn't he meant to be the dragon?" Ninja reminded them. "Seeing we each have the other roles, he must-u be. I do not-u think it would be wise to search for something that means us harm."

"Hm...You'd think he'd be coming after us, though," the wizard thought as he slipped into the cave after Veteran, TheGentleman, Stoner and Ninja all following close behind and then heading towards the back of the cavern. "That's weird..."

That was when, somewhere within the depths of King Veteran's goldfish brain, a memory sparked, followed by a sudden realization.

"...You know what else is weird?" he said to Player.

"What?"

"Ninja...We only started talking about how the right cave needed to be big enough to cast spells and practice shooting in after you left to scout ahead," he said to him, the cavern growing darker as they all went deeper into it. "How'd you know we said all that?"

...Silence filled the darkness of the cave. A cold, eerie silence which was only broken by Ninja's cold, scarily calm voice after what felt like forever.

"...You are smarter than you let on, Veteran-chan...Unfortunately for you and your little army, you are too late."

"Lumos Maxima."

A voice from the cavern suddenly echoed off the walls, and the cave suddenly lit up...The light's source was the tip of a wand made of bone, which was held by a pale red figure cloaked in black and wearing a wide-brimmed hat that tapered to a crooked point at the top.

"...Excellent work, Ninja," Snorkel smirked. "Thank you for leading our guests to our front door."

"You were the second Impostor this whole time!?!" Player exclaimed. "But...but you're the knight. The samurai who must uphold his honor! H-how could you!?"

"Player-kun, it is not-u my fault I had the role of Impostor bestowed upon me as well as that of the knight. What am I to do, be-tu-ray my given side? THAT-u would be dishonorable."

"Heh...He's, like, got a pretty rock solid point there, compadre," Stoner nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I guess so...But still. You tricked us."

"And this still doesn't answer the question of how you knew what we'd been discussing," TheGentleman pointed out.

"I have my ways of knowing," Snorkel told them. "Through use of my powers. But enough gab. Ninja, stand attention until I give order. I want to have some fun with these poor saps."

He nodded and stepped into the shadows without any protest...With that. the witch flicked her wand back, then forward, and the walls of the cavern were suddenly lit up with twin rows of torches.

"I have you all here now...so...Who to test my shiny new wand against first?"

"I won't let you hurt 'em!" Player yelled back, withdrawing his own wand. "Confringo!"

"Protego!"

Just as the fiery blast from Player's wand was about to make contact, it suddenly bounced back, and hurdled right back at its caster.

"Whoa!!"

The red crewmate leapt out of the way just in time, and the blact hit the wall, bursting into a small explosion of flames before dissipating.

"Ha! Confringo?! That is mere child's play..." the witch sneered. "Expelliarmus!"

Another blast of energy followed, and Player felt his wand fly out of his hand in spite of his iron grip on it, landing a good few yards behind him. He turned around to retrieve it...giving Snorkel an opening.

"Avada..."

"Ooh, just a sec there, Voldesnork!" Stoner interrupted. "Before you send your opponent to Ghost Town U.S.A., I'd like to show you my own little magic trick I've been conjuring! I call this one 'Le Tarantallegra.' Which in your language means 'Imma do a dance for ya."

Without any further ado, he started up a dance before the witch...Snorkel rolled her eyes at the sheer stupidity of his moves, not amused in the slightest.

"...Kedavra."

Upon finishing her incantation, a blinding green light blasted out from the tip of her wand, hitting Stoner and making him convulse as the shockwaves coursed through him...When the blast ceased, the green-clad jester fell forward, his lifeless body to dance no more.

"Stoner!" Player called out. "No...What have you done, Snorkel!?"

"I eliminated him, you fool...Mobilicorpus."

With her next command, she magically hoisted Stoner's dead body into the air and flung it off to the side, out of her way.

Fortunately, Player had been able to retrieve his wand and prepare for the witch's next attack by then, so he stood there waiting for her to make the next move.

"Surrender now," she said to him. "And I will spare you...Think of it. You and me. Dark Lords of Polus. We will be unstoppable."

"I'll never join you! Glacius!"

He shot a blast of icy blue energy at the witch, in hopes that he could get a hit on her that time.

"Dispergo!"

That time, Player's blast was scattered into a million harmless glowing bits just a couple of feet away from its target, which quickly faded into nothingness.

"Well, I guess we do this the hard way, then...Bombarda Maxima!"

"Protego Maxi-AGH!!"

Player failed to finish his defensive incantation in time to shield him from the oncoming blast...The explosion that followed sent pieces of walls crumbling and spikes from the ceiling falling to the cave floor.

As the dust began to clear, Player got up and looked over himself...His cloak was singed and he was covered in scuffs and bruises, some bleeding, but he still had his wand in hand, and he'd managed to escape the worst.

"Oh God...! *cough cough* P-player, you there...!?"

...His remaining friends hadn't been quite so lucky, though.

Veteran lay on his back not far from him, one of the stone spikes hanging from the cave ceiling above having fallen directly into him, piercing the side of his abdomen and letting his crimson life force flow out from the wound. His satin cape was torn and burned to bits, and his gold crown sat on the ground not far from his head. TheGentleman lay on Player's opposite side, unmoving, unbreathing and silent.

The wizard ran to his best friend and kneeled down at his side, trying to assess the damage...It was bad. Very bad.

"D-don't worry Vet, I'll try to fix this!" he promised him, despite his state of panic. "Uh, uh, Evanesco!"

He pointed his wand at the broken spike embedded in Veteran's torso, and the moment it disappeared, the injured writhed and winced at the excruciating pain as even more blood spilled from him...He would have cried and screamed, but his strength to do so was draining swiftly.

"Oh God oh God, hold still Vet! J-just hang in there, I'll fix it! U-uh, what was the other spell, c'mon!"

"Player..."

The yellow crewmate pried his visor open, staring up into those of his companion.

"D-don't waste your time on me...I'm not long for this world."

"No, no no no no! I can still save you if I can remember the major healing spell!"

"Avada..."

The sound of the coral and black-clad witch conjuring her next Killing Curse made its way into the duo's ears.

"Protego Horriblis!"

"KEDAVRA!"

That time, Player thankfully conjured his shield just in time; the deadly ray that shot from Snorkel's wand a moment later dispersed off the shield and into oblivion, much to her dismay.

"That should hold her off, Vet...Veteran?"

He looked back down and saw that his eyes had glossed over, and his breathing had grown ragged.

"No no no, stay with me man! Come on, you're the king! You can't fail us now!"

"P...player..."

"The healing spell's on the tip of my tongue! I-it's Vulnera something or other! Just stay with me a little longer!"

"You're the...I...I hereby pass my leadership of this crew...unto you..."

"No...y-you can't..."

"Take care of 'em...and...that stupid witch..." Veteran rasped. "...You're gonna...m-make her regret...ever trying...to beat...you..."

That was when the last ounce of life slipped from Veteran's eyes, and his last breath escaped his lungs. The fallen king's head dipped off to the side, lifeless and motionless.

"Vet..." Player choked out, using all of his own strength to hold back the urge to wail in anguish. "I...I won't let ya down. I'll avenge you. Everyone...I promise."

He slowly stood up from the side of the deceased and looked up in the direction of the witch...just in time to see her point her wand at the shield, strain for a moment as she concentrated all of her energy into the attack, and then destroy the barrier in a bluish white burst of light, leaving Player vulnerable to her attacks once again.

Instead of simply striking him from the distance she was at, she hopped down from the stone ledge she stood on and approached him menacingly.

"You poor, insignificant, muggle-born fool," the witch snarled. "I gave you the offer to join me and live; the offer of a lifetime. And you were brainless enough to turn it down...Give up all hope. You have proven to be of no use to me...Ninja."

"Yes-u, Snorkel-heika."

The dark samurai emerged from the darkness once more, readying one if his twin swords.

"I tire of the Killing Curse. I desire a death more...interesting for this weakling. Slice his legs off with your blades to make him bleed like pig at slaughter, then I will cast Cruciatus Curse upon him. His screams will be like music to our ears."

"NOT ON OUR WATCH THEY WON'T BE!!"

The voice that sounded off seemed to come from somewhere above, and it was followed by the attentive silence of all in the cavern...The next thing everyone knew, a pair of massive claws were pounding at the entrance and shattering the mauve stone, making the cave opening larger with each swipe.

"What is that!?!" Player hollered.

"Ah, come on, Player! Don't tell me ya don't recognize your best future brother-in-law!"

The beast's head emerged from the expanded opening, revealing a massive white-pelted dragon with a comparatively tiny peaked cap on his head.

"C...Captain? Is that you?"

"Hey, don't forget about me!"

Dum peaked out from behind Captain's left-hand wing, then hopped off his back and landed on the ground, her shield on display.

"Where've you guys been this whole time!? Well, more you Captain, I knew Dum was out looking for a cave by herself, but..."

"It's...kind of a long story," the white-pelted dragon told him. "Let's save it for later! We've got darkness to overcome!"

"You? The dragon? On THEIR side!?" Snorkel snarled. "This is treason! You are meant to KILL crew, not fight alongside them! Ninja!"

"Yes-u?"

"Slay this beast! If he is of no use to us, he serves no purpose but to die!"

"With pleasure..."

The dark samurai withdrew his twin swords, then confidently dashed towards Captain as he drew back his head and tilted it upwards, drawing in the deepest breath he could muster.

"Captain, he's going to slice your head right off! LOOK OUT!"

But Captain only responded to Player's outcry with a wink before turning his eyes towards Ninja again. He saw him leap upwards and withdraw his katanas, then cross them into an 'X' shape in preparation to slice.

...And that was when Captain flung his head forward again, and the moment he did, a massive stream of orange and gold flames spurted from his gaping jaws, sending heat waves across the entire cavern and lighting it up far brighter than the torches ignited by the witch.

When the stream subsided, Snorkel, Player and Dum all saw what was on the ground more clearly: a pile of grey ashes and Ninja's charred helmet. They were all that remained of the dark samurai.

"...I see," the witch sneered. "Well, if Ninja could not defeat you, I suppose I will have to myself!"

"Not if I char YOU to bits next!"

With that, Captain fired up another breath, then spewed it at his target, Player and Dum cheering him on all the while.

"Aguamenti!"

Before the blaze could reach the witch, she pointer her wand at it and conjured a blast of water from it, extinguishing them and keeping the stream at bay until Captain had strained the last bit of breath from his lungs and had to inhale.

"You will have to try harder than that!"

"Oh, ya mean like THIS?"

As he breathed in, Captain aimed his wings towards the witch and started to flap them, sending powerful gusts in her direction. She staggered where she stood as she tried to withstand the force of the wind, holding her bay on her head with one hand while she used her other to aim her wand, struggling to properly point it in the conditions she was faced with.

With Snorkel distracted and straining, Player saw this as his chance to turn the tables.

"Expelliarmus!"

Before the witch could call out her own incantation, the bone wand she held went flying out of her hand, bouncing off the wall and clattering to the ground...Dum was quick to grab the short stick, and she snapped it right in two against her knee, setting the essence of the magic inside free and rendering it useless.

"Ha! Try castin' your spells without THAT, ya ugly old...uh...y'know."

But Snorkel didn't seem that upset.

"Ohhh, don't worry, Squire," she smirked, reaching into her cloak. "...I always carry a SPARE with me."

"Wait, whah?"

"Oh no..."

Player's sense of dread increased once more when he saw the witch pull out a second wand; this one was crafted from elder wood, with porous spheres along its shaft and an equally porous handle.

"Oh my God...Is...is that...?"

"Why are you so surprised?" Snorkel taunted. "Did you not think I would come unprepared?"

"And did you think we wouldn't be able to blow THAT outta your hand too?"

Captain got back to flapping, but before he could do much to impede the witch, she called out her own move.

"Diminuendo!"

"CAPPY NO!"

Dum attempted to intervene with her shield, but the blast struck the massive beast right in the shoulder before she could even get a good running start.

"Gyah!"

The squire watched in horror as the light of the blast spiraled around him, and the next thing she knew, Captain, while unharmed, was barely the size he usually was as a normal crewmate.

"Hey! You took away my might and terror!" he snapped. "...At least ya didn't steal my fire!"

"Aguamenti."

Captain tried to roast the witch again, but she only countered with another blast of water from her wand, this time strong enough to extinguish his smaller flames entirely.

"Ah, come on. Dousing it isn't cool either."

"Keep thy forked tongue behind your teeth," Snorkel growled. "Incarcerous!"

Upon her command, a flurry of thick ropes were conjured around the dragon, and as soon as they appeared, they lassoed him and bound him tightly, holding onto him no matter how much he struggled to break free.

"If you will not join me yourself, then I suppose I shall make you," Snorkel told him, raising her wand once more. "Have you ever heard of the Imperius Curse? It makes one do the caster's bidding. I give you one last chance. Either join me and destroy these fools at your own will, or I will MAKE you do it."

"AGH, no! Player, gimmie a hand here!"

"Sure thing! Evanesco!"

"Imperio!"

Player vanished the ropes as soon as the witch sent her mind-controlling spell towards the shrunken dragon, only managing to free his body.

"HEE-YAH!"

Just before the blast could hit Captain, a blur of pink and brown shot past them, absorbing the magic in his place...When it slowed down to a stop, everyone recognized the blue as Dum, and just in time to see her wooden shield disintegrate from the hit it took.

"Dum! Ya did it!" Player cheered.

"Fools... ALL of you are fools!" the witch boomed angrily. "Do you really think a single shield block can stop me from dominating this entire planet!? The entire UNIVERSE if I so wanted to!? Well, let me tell you worms something!"

She pointed her wand again, and they all watched in fear as it glowed with a fiery red heat that cast the cave in a hellish scarlet light.

"You have unleashed the fury of HELL with your antics! I will not stop until every single one of you is dead! Starting with YOU, wizard! AVADA KEDAV-JGYACK!!"

Just when Snorkel looked about ready to fire her final attack, a pair of hands suddenly rose up from behind the witch and grabbed her by the neck, sending her flailing about in shock. So much so that she ended up dropping her elder wand as she struggled to get whatever was attempting to strangle her off.

Captain wasted no time in grabbing it up off the ground in his jaws, and with one swift snap, he bit it in half and spat it out.

As soon as the wand was rendered useless, the unseen force behind Snorkel kicked her down to the ground, revealing himself.

"I do apologize for that display of unruliness. Usually I'm not keen on dirtying my hands, but you looked to be in quite the pinch, old chums."

"TheGentleman!" Player beamed. "You're alive! But...but I saw you dead on the ground before."

"Correction; you saw me PLAYING dead. While you and Snorkel were distracted during your battle, I slowly made my way around the battlefield and circled behind her, playing dead once again whenever I thought one of you would look my way and blow my cover. I finally got my moment to seize her when she was busy spewing all those threats. Gracious...I thought she might be a bit more physically strong than she was, considering she had access to such powerful magic."

"Hey, your role as peasant did do us some good!" Player told him. "Without your intervention, we'd probably all be dead by now!"

"Really? Huh...Well, perhaps you're right, Mr. Player. Thank you, your excellency."

"Argh..."

The coral witch struggled back onto her feet, a spark of rage still in her visor.

"If I cannot destroy you with MAGIC," she scowled. "I will use my DAGGER instead! Starting with the defenseless squire!"

She pulled the short blade from the hidden sheath in her cloak, then charged right towards Dum, getting within just a few feet of her before the pink crewmate could even react.

"AAAH!"

"Pullus!"

Just when Snorkel was about to slash the squire's head off with her dagger, there was another blast of light from Player's wand, and all of a sudden, the disenchanted witch disappeared from view, leaving nothing behind but her cloak as it fluttered to the ground in front of her would-be victim.

"Huh...What...?" Dum gasped, slowly loosening her defensive pose and opening her visor back up. "Wh-what'd you do to her, Player?"

"Um...If I remember correctly," he replied as everyone slowly approached the cloak on the cave floor. "I think it turns the target into a-"

"Whah...I'm...You, you, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!?!"

It was then that they all saw something scramble around underneath the cloak and then pop its head out to stare right up at Player as it screamed at him. Everyone gasped in surprise at what Snorkel had become...And then, just as soon as the collective gasp had silenced, they all burst out into raucous laughter.

"Oh my God, Player! This is your best spell yet!" Captain wheezed.

"Yeah!" Dum agreed. "...How the cluck didja manage to pull it off!?"

"I dunno, I just sorta remembered it at the last minute! Ha ha ha, holy crap...!"

"CHANGE ME BACK THIS INSTANT!!" the hapless hen squawked, but no one would grant her request.

"Ah, don't get all fowl with us!" TheGentleman remarked. "We're just chicken in on your sense of humor!"

"I will have your heads mounted on sticks if you do not change me back!" Snorkel threatened. "You have no power over me, be I human OR bird! I AM STILL A WITCH!! I AM YOUR-!"

FWOOSH

Before she could finish, Captain let loose another stream of flames down onto her, sending them raining upon the chicken and her cloak for a good five seconds before stopping. When the fire subsided, Snorkel's cloak wasn't much more than a burnt, slightly melted pile of fabric.

...And the witch-turned-chicken, which now lacked feathers, feet and a head from the intense blast of heat, both looked and smelled like something one might expect for dinner.

"Welp," Player said. "Looks like her goose is cooked."

"Yeah," Captain nodded, picking up the cooked chicken and taking a bold bite out of it. "Snorkel, you're FIRED."

The laughter of the remaining crew continued even as the screen faded to black, and the results of their adventure flashed before them.

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Victory

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Everyone spawned back into the dropship one by one, and the crewmembers all congratulated one another.

"Man, that was awesome!" Player remarked, watching as Veteran spawned in beside him.

"Yeah, I saw the fight as a ghost. You did pretty darn good back there. You did a good job fillin' in for me, that's for sure."

"Yup, I saw the whole thing, too," Stoner added. "You guys were really killin' it out there...Like, literally."

"Aw man, I didn't get to see the fight," MrCheese pouted. "Man, the prince role sucks."

"Well, at least you weren't put in any danger, Prince Cheddarming."

"Pfff, heh heh...Okay, ya got a smile outta me, good job."

"Not gonna lie, Dum, I think I'm kinda gonna miss being a dragon...That was like flying a fighter jet, except I didn't have to worry about any complicated dials or pressure gauges anything like that! Also, the down was nice and toasty."

"Well, you're still nice and toasty anyways."

She pulled Captain into another embrace and planted a peck against this cheek. His cheeks went from white to rosy in a split second, and he returned the squeeze.

"I'm so glad it was you who came along that day..."

"Me too, Cappy."

"Heh heh...Hey, Snorkel!" he called out to the coral crewmate as he saw her spawn in. "You were pretty tasty as a chicken! We ought to cook you for a dinner party one of these days!"

She ignored the laughter that followed from the crew, then turned to her failed accomplice.

"Отличная работа, идиот. Почему ты не напал на него сзади!?"

She smacked him across the face, to which he recoiled.

"あなたは私を殴る必要はありませんでした、それはただのゲームです...!"

"Где твоя честь!?"

"私はあなたが私にしたいことだけをしていました...!"

"Man, I've never seen Ninja act like such a pushover," MrCheese rasped to his fellow crewmates. "He's gone pretty much head over heels for that swimmin' commie."

"Well if that's the case," Veteran replied. "I say they quit Stalin and get right to saying their vows."

"Really, Veteran?" Player responded. "I think we've overdone it with the puns for now; I'm still getting over the time MrEgg and that Tek guy spewed them every ten seconds. Thank God he's not here today..."

"Heh heh, okay okay, I'm done..."

"Say, since we all had such a great time that round, how about we have ourselves another?" Captain suggested.

"HECK YEAH!!"

Everyone in the lobby stopped talking amongst themselves to collectively agree with the host, and at that, the white crewmate started up the timer, and just a few moments later the screen faded to black...Player was fairly certain he wouldn't get the wizard role a second time, but he was eager to see what he WOULD be getting.

As long as it isn't the prince, he said to himself. Let's see...

...

...

...

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d̷̳̺̾́'̴̢̪͌̒&̸̼̮́͛~̵̘͙̂̓Я̶̱̮̇͘#̸̭͙͌̎ɒ̴̪̘̈́̉^̴̦̲͑͗?̵̣̦̾͝/̶͕́͊ͅ>̶̧̭́̀Ә̶̠̠̆̾0̴̪͙͑͛]̸̢̳̽͂=̴͙̦̓̚ǹ̶̫̣͋

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What the...? That doesn't look right. What's going-

"ACK!"

Player's train of thought was interrupted by his body suddenly lurching forward within the black pre-game void. He felt his skin grow uneven with bumps, followed by his spine growing longer in each direction and his mouth stretch outward and distort in shape, and his gums and back felt like they had razorblades cutting through them from the inside out.

Fangs...Spikes...Wings?

He spread his now visible arms, stretching out the thin membrane that joined his elongated ring and pinkie fingers and connected to each side of his torso...That paired with his smaller, webbing-free fingers made them look like a strange combination between the wings of a bat and a pterosaur.

...As soon as the pain of the transformation wore off, Player was ecstatic.

Oh my God, I GOT THE DRAGON! YES! YES!

The next moment, he was spawning into the game, forgetting entirely about the glitched text he saw during his role reveal.

"Guys! Guys, I got-!"

"Oh, great Scott! What's happened to the lot of us!?!"

TheGentleman's voice was the first thing he processed. The next thing he processed was that, for some reason...it looked like he wasn't the ONLY one who'd gotten the role of the dragon.

In fact, it looked like EVERYONE had gotten the same role. Along with him, all of his peers were covered in scales and a dozen times their normal size.

"Wow..." MrCheese remarked. "Well, I didn't see this comin', heh heh. The heck happened here, Captain?"

"I...don't know. I'm not the only one who got a messed-up role reveal, am I? Or did you guys get that too?"

It didn't take long to find out that the same thing had happened on everyone's end when their roles were given.

"Yeah, looks like some kinda glitch in the mod to me," Veteran said to them, looking over his burly, scale-covered form. "...Well, might as well take advantage of it; I always wanted to fly, y'know?"

"Last one to reach the other side of the crater is a rotten dragon egg!"

At Player's sudden announcement, the lot of them took off, their massive wings sending swooping gusts of wind across the outpost, kicking up the snow and sending it swirling into the air.

"Hey, guys, wait up!"

Veteran attempted to run after them, his ridiculously small wings finally managing to somehow lift him up off the ground after a running start, powerful jump and a lot of continuous, strenuous flapping.

"Oof, ugh...I need to lay off the villagers..."

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OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR HOURS AT A TIME FOR A WEEK, AND NOW IT'S FINALLY DONE, AAAAHHHHHH-

Okay...Wow. I'm just really glad you guys finally got to read this; I've been psyched to publish it as soon as I came up with the idea. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much I did writing it! :D